Your dream soulmate but...

Assume you meet someone that fits your dream of a lifetime partner and soulmate, possesses every quality you have always wanted but has a son from a previous relationship. Would you date and later marry such a person?

It is never a barrier to me.
Love has no constrition since I see the qualities I needed.
I will even make yanga that the former guy lost precious jewels.
I will love her and  care for the child as well.

IAH, if the child is living with the man and his mother is alive then it can be really complicated unless both you and the child are able to accept each other.

Then you have to consider the financial status of both of you if he's paying money for child support, then you have to consider the possibility that he will leave you even after you have children in your relationship with him!

So it depends on so many factors. Was he married to the mother of his child? Did she leave him or did he leave her? Was it just a fling that went wrong? WHy was he not able to maintain a relationship with the boy's mother?

Sometimes we are too quick to conclude that someone is perfect for us when we know so little abt the person.

Yea, i agree that so many things will be considered. But, u see, love surpasses all things. For me it holds no water. I will go ahead and marry her if it is our intention. But also i need to be very sure that nothing will spring up btw her and the man again.

If this case is a challange, what do you say if you happen to find out that you fiance has been pregnant in a previous relationship and probably gave birth to the baby dead or aborted the pregnancy at a matured stage. The fact is that she's been pregnant and gave birth.

Nothing spoil, I go carry on with the runs.

enjoy.

No, no, no! You are getting me wrong. This person is single and has never married.

Like Seun rightly said, it depends on where the relanship with the mother of the child hangs with my spouse.

If they still have something that might sprout tommorrow, I won't venture near the guy not to talk of him being a soulmate to me.

But if its reallly over between them, I will go on with my dude! I will take care of the child like one of my own, God help me. But then some of these children from outside relationshps can act really funny. They suddenly become problematic, discouraging you from reaching out to them in love.

I don't pray to be in such a position. Its' usually better if you raised the child. If you didn't and he/she gets raised by a bad mother or father, there are going to be problems in relating to such child.

I finally meet my soulmate and she has a child. What is it with you people here? Don't you want me to get married?

Argh!

legry:

I finally meet my soulmate and she has a child.  What is it with you people here?  Don't you want me to get married?

Argh!

so legry wats ur point??

probably means it does not make any difference to him

No problem in that, even now my babygirl have a boy when she was in Sencondary school SS2. But she latter complete is education both of us are living in abuja and if you are not told you can't know but i love her and i am ready to marry her when time come. she is the one that told me her past if not i will not know even she is not my tribe and nobody can stop me .

being that i have a childhood soulmate which i left in 9ja, If I should see him with kids later on, I am sure i will marry him.

Pinky:

legry link=topic=614.msg8147#msg8147 date=1119896444:

I finally meet my soulmate and she has a child.  What is it with you people here?  Don't you want me to get married?

Argh!

so legry wats your point??

I think his point is... He doesn't want to take up the responsibility of taking care of someone else's child.

when you are faced with a real life situation, in most cases, what you think you'll do is different from what you'll actually do. That being said, I would not marry a person with a son from a previous relationship... keeping up with a relationship is hard enough. What happens if I discipline the boy and the mother feels I'm mistreating her son because I'm not the biological father. It'll definitely cause friction in the relationship.

babadudu:

when you are faced with a real life situation, in most cases, what you think you'll do is different from what you'll actually do. That being said, I would not marry a person with a son from a previous relationship... keeping up with a relationship is hard enough. What happens if I discipline the boy and the mother feels I'm mistreating her son because I'm not the biological father. It'll definitely cause friction in the relationship.

Babadudu,

U dey hard small o! Haba!

How about if u really love the babe? U mean u'll let go?

Ok Nairalanders how about if the other person is a widower/widow? Will u still go ahead? Bear in mind that u love him/her so much.

dablessed:


Ok Nairalanders how about if the other person is a widower/widow? Will you still go ahead? Bear in mind that you love him/her so much.

its even makes it better, cos no one will lay claim on the child after i have raised him to become something in life

dablessed:


Babadudu,

U dey hard small o! Haba!

How about if you really love the babe? U mean you'll let go?

Ok Nairalanders how about if the other person is a widower/widow? Will you still go ahead? Bear in mind that you love him/her so much.

Dablessed,

I hear you oo...and that's why I mentioned until I'm faced with it real life (which I doubt).
question for you is - would you say love is a choice?

Babadudu,

Everyone has got some sort of power - which is the ability to choose. so answering your question: Yes love is a choice.

IAH:

Your dream soulmate but...

Assume you meet someone that fits your dream of a lifetime partner and soulmate, possesses every quality you have always wanted but has a son from a previous relationship.  Would you date and later marry such a person?

As much as i can get along with his son nothing will stop me from marrying him.

I mean that now you give me a soul mate now you have to add a child to the bargain geeezz now you get my drift

legry:

I mean that now you give me a soul mate now you have to add a child to the bargain geeezz now you get my drift

What is Legry saying? What is all the "now" about?

dablessed:

legry link=topic=614.msg8814#msg8814 date=1120147087:

I mean that now you give me a soul mate now you have to add a child to the bargain geeezz now you get my drift

What is Legry saying? What is all the "now" about?

i was beginning to wonder too!

That is legry's love arithmetic.

if ur idea of a soulmate included having a stepchild and u feel u've met ur soulmate who also 's got a child goodluck to u and have a nice future together. But if ur ideal picture of a soulmate did not include a stepchild, i guess it time u really sit down and do some good thinking. Are u ready to accept another woman visiting ur home every now and then with the excuse of coming to visit her child?.
Are u ready to share ur income with another woman because there's not sufficient enough for ur husband to take care of his child and u loe ur husband so much u don't want the world to know he's in a financial mess.
Are u ready to have another woman's baby inherit all u've worked and toiled for if u never conceive in ur home.

Take a long look into the future before making a decision.

why not, if he is my soulmate i will marry him. i love him that what matter and he love me. one child will not stop me for marry my soulmate.

HMMMMM.Me I no know ooooo.This is a hard one.Well,if I get to reach that bridge,I will cross it.

snazzydawn:

HMMMMM.Me I no know ooooo.This is a hard one.Well,if I get to reach that bridge,I will cross it.

well, there is nothing new under the sun. The child or the father or mother of the child shouldnt take the fall.The new lover should be able to tell the past from the present and the future. If u love someone hard enough, child or no child, warts and all, its for life.

hello.
my name is richard, i'd like 2 know u
would you mind, my no is 08055057015

[color=#990000][/color]Well, I guess I'm one person who is best to answer a question like this. I have a six year old son and I am engaged (just got engaged). I got pregnant at the tender age of 16 and had my son about four monts before I turned 17. The father and I didn't stay together,he doesn't help me with our son til this very day. I think marrying someone with a child depends on some very important factors.for instance,does the father still have a relashionship with the child and has he moved on with his own life or is still trying to be with the mother.If he is trying to be with the mother,you shouldn't get involved because it may cause "DRAMA". If the guy isn't helping or he doesn't come around it's easier,well in most cases.How old the child is, is very important as well because depending on the age of the child and the relashionship with the father the child may or may not like any man to be with his mother other than the dad. In my case I don't have the father around and my son is still very young,and at that age where no matter if I get married now or not he just likes to be around loving and caring people.

wot,s the big deal in that?it shows that she is ok for MOTHERHOOD,moreover the devil you know is better than the angel you haven,t met,love is all dat counts.

As far as am concern, that should not a be a problem at all, the main thing is LOVE and if the boy and mother are not living with him and u love him then go for it, even if is only the boy living with him and the quality is there, u better make use of the rare opportunity.