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Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by uboma(m): 11:13am On Oct 05, 2020 |
ERCROSS: If the reverse was the situation, how would you rate it? If it was the guy's mom (not confirmed mother in-law yet) who offered her services to the son's girlfriend and asked to be paid, what would you say? 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by uboma(m): 11:16am On Oct 05, 2020 |
openbusiness6: Why did he not inform her earlier not to bill his mother? Why did he not inform m her earlier that he will be the one to pay her instead? She offered to send the money back to him but he kept on insulting her. Businesses thrives when families and friends pay for the goods/services they receive. Life is not that hard... 1 Like |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by ERCROSS(m): 11:21am On Oct 05, 2020 |
uboma: The lady will eventually collect the money back from the guy naa. From the chat self, the guy might not have been angry if the lady had demanded to collect the money for her service from the guy self. Anyways, everybody had the right to their own opinion, but for me, I can't consider such a lady the person I can spend the rest of my life with. 3 Likes |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by openbusiness6: 11:23am On Oct 05, 2020 |
Dayoebe:There's nothing like business minded here. The guy is a business man too, read the chat well. He is selling phones. This is a matter of personal mindset and ethics. Phone of N48k cost price, which he sells for N60K, he sold it to her brother for N48K, just because it's her brother buying. |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by openbusiness6: 11:33am On Oct 05, 2020 |
uboma:He's obviously angry and that's his own way of venting his anger. But that's not the issue here. She only offered to return the money, not just because he confronted her, but because he reminded her of the benefits she has been enjoying from him FOR FREE. That was the reset button that reset her brain to see that she goofed. Imagine it was the other way around, and the girl gave the guy half of the money to rent shop for business, let say a barbing salon, buys the guy clothes, bought the phone he's using, pays some of his bills etc, then one day she recommended that her father, whom the guy knows is her father, should go and cut hair at the guy's salon. Maybe the barbing fee is N1000, in your own view, will you say the same thing that the guy should collect the N1k, after all he is running a business? Sometimes, we need to be factual about life, not being sentimental. Common sense dictates that the guy will cut the father's hair and if he wants to pay, he will turn it down. And then maybe later on, the girl can pay him or not pay him, it doesn't matter, he's already benefitting much more from her already. You see some people just lack ethics and lack common sense. No wonder they say common sense is not common. 1 Like |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by openbusiness6: 11:39am On Oct 05, 2020 |
Big eye opener for the guy. He just learned a life lesson. You have to stop crossing oceans and crossing galaxies for people that won't even cross a tiny gutter for you. 2 Likes |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by uboma(m): 12:01pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
ERCROSS: That's your opinion. Personally I see nothing wrong in what she did. |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by uboma(m): 12:07pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
openbusiness6: There is nothing about ethics or common sense here. The guy is only after flimsy excuses to end the relationship with her. There was nothing wrong in what she did. 2 Likes |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by Chrisrare: 12:46pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
openbusiness6:The most sensible comment so far. 2 Likes |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by openbusiness6: 12:49pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
uboma:ok, that's your opinion |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by WoundedLamb: 1:51pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
Korllami007: Yes, there was a little problem. It was a very very little problem that shouldn't have led to "you're foolish", "you're wicked", etc. And like I said, it was not about the money but a difference in understanding. As you can see on this thread, there's a divide already cause people see things differently. 2k might not have made all the difference to the girl so I'm pretty sure not asking the woman to keep her money was an oversight or a different perspective. The guy does not like it, which is valid too. But if the guy leaves her cause of this exact problem, bro, he's not ready for marriage. If we're being honest with ourselves, we'd all agree that this is the kind of day-to-day little problems that naturally lace our relationships regardless of how perfect we think we are. In fact, if this is the only major problem they've ever had, then they've got a more perfect relationship than a lot of people here on NL who would quickly type "dump her!". |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by SavageResponse(m): 1:52pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
Lethal234: That notwithstanding business is business |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by Nobody: 2:01pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
I don't expect you to think on that line. Stop using that quote out of context, it's hypocritical. Why then didn't she use her own money to set it up? If her own mother comes into the salon, would she charge her? Besides, the man says the side thing to do was to see me later for the money so that my mum would think highly of you for not accepting payment from her! He is exasperated because she refused to understand that that would have been the wise option. uboma: 2 Likes |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by Sleepaway(f): 2:23pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
All this nairalanders saying the girl is bad yen yen will suffer for 600years� Wait o excuse me Is she not working to earn money? Is it not her sweat? The boyfriend's mother should even be the one encouraging her and paying extra self ahahn That aside Are they not just dating bikonu are they married? Is he her husband? Husband he to her? I'm seeing comments saying "mother in-law" bia will you mechunu dis To top it up the guy is now calling her this "thing" because of a small issue that can be settled in mins Lemme just say this The guy, his mother, his entitlement, his mf ego, as well as his money; are on a whole nother level some deep therapy shii That lady better run away as fast as she can because they will drain her physical, mentally, spiritually and finally financially Periodtt!!! |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by Korllami007: 2:29pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
WoundedLamb: I laugh in different perspectives. The guy sold a phone of 60k for 48k to her brother and the guy has no communication issues or different perspectives when hr did it. But it's her turn to reciprocate just 1% of what the guy has done in her life, communcation issue and different perspectives spring up, that's why she couldn't do it. Orisirisi. That's a trait of an ingrate. There is no two ways to it, stop painting it. 1 Like |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by Lethal234(m): 2:33pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
SavageResponse: Of course business is business, but in situation's like this you need to understand his views and compromise, at least for the sake of the relationship, simple ' am sorry, I never saw it like that' could have done miracles. 1 Like |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by Korllami007: 2:40pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
SavageResponse: Business is business, but the guy sold phone of 60k for 48k to her brother, 12k reduction. But for her to forgo money not more than 2k for her boyfriend's mum, it becomes business is business. Lol. 2 Likes |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by WoundedLamb: 2:49pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
Korllami007: Oga, why are you bringing unrelated things together? The lady didn't even know the phone was sold cheaper than the actual price. To her, it was the normal price and she didn't bother talking about it then cause she wasn't expecting her boyfriend to do more than he'd be willing to do. There was no communication around that. The communication I'm talking about is the one we both read which obviously took place after she took money from the guy's mum. The guy came for a fight and not for a discussion. If that's how to address things your girlfriend does that you don't like, that's fine. I pray he finds someone who will never do what he doesn't like. As for the money, so many people would have collected it not because they are hungry or ingrates but because it doesn't make any difference to them. This is something that shouldn't be a deal breaker. Tell her you weren't expecting that and she will not do it next time. Go confrontational and she will be forced to defend herself. 1 Like |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by Korllami007: 3:04pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
WoundedLamb:You win. You can keep painting trash behavior with gold, that's your business. Na the idiot guy wey spend money ontop girlfriend wey he supposed spend on his mother I blame. The faster he knows that women don't reciprocate sacrifice or been nice, the better for him. Otherwise, women will keep showing him pepper. |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by WoundedLamb: 3:36pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
Korllami007: I knew this was the direction this chat was going.. the women bashing team. Misogyny has so much clouded your thinking that you can no longer treate cases in isolation. It's about supporting one gender and not about logic. He got all those for her so he could call her names at will? The girl was totally put together throughout the chat but was only telling him to stop calling her names. That's the kind of girl who is willing to talk about things and move on. Whether she was right or not, the guy has zero skill on how to address issues. Zero. 2 Likes |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by Nobody: 3:47pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
The guy is so immature, chai. Just simply saying "you for do discount for my mama na" would have made her understand, unfortunately in life no matter how much you do for someone you are not entitled to everything from that person, he should have said it politely not charging her like she did something dubious to him. 1 Like |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by Korllami007: 3:49pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
WoundedLamb: K |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by Nobody: 3:50pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
Lethal234:The way he approached her was wrong, that is the problem, he could have just said it jokingly simple as ABC. |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by WoundedLamb: 3:50pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
Korllami007: Better. |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by dopedealer(m): 3:51pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
To be candid , the lady is all wrong considering the level of investment and support the guy has put in for her. To start with how much is the money for hair ? In a typical Yoruba setting , it would be considered that she lacks respect and foresight . She failed to differentiate btw customers and mother in-laws. She is so money inclined and might have probably been broke at that time which forced her to even collect the money without thinking. Atleast she could have offered a discount!! |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by Korllami007: 4:01pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
dopedealer: This is just common sense. At most discount the price. Mama: how much is my money? Girl: 3000 but you can pay 1500, ma. With level of investment the guy has put on her, the guy can't even enjoy one single benefit from her. 1 Like |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by WoundedLamb: 4:01pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
Ausrichie: Exactly! I'm not defending the lady but the guy was extremely immature in handling the situation. His approach only made the lady defensive |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by WoundedLamb: 4:04pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
Ausrichie: My thoughts as well. He made it look like she's got no opinion anymore seeing how he has helped her in the past. And that's a scary position nobody would like to be in. The name calling came too fast. Such a man can nag more than women. |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by SPOLO(m): 4:08pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
MY UNCLE wifr who sabi plait hair doesn't charge my granny o. This is strange though |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by Nobody: 4:10pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
You can't braid your mother inlaw's hair for free like seriously. A wise lady will see it as an opporturnity to bond with the mother inlaw. This shows she is too money conscious that she can't recognise family. She should have accepted that she was wrong instead of being defensive, that was what aggravated the issue and name calling . 1 Like |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by tundebasic(m): 4:11pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
I want you guys to know that relationships involve trust and sacrifices. Now, using the keyword 'sacrifices', from this story which sacrifice can we pinpoint the lady to have ever done for the guy? I'm not blaming anyone, but one good turn deserves another. We sometimes need to put other people in our shoes. If you're an adult (I'm not referring to kids), if your mum helped you to setup a salon, with her own financial contributions, I can bet it if she comes for hairdo in that same salon you won't collect a dime from her. The guy too should work on himself, he could have given her a piece of his mind without 'cussing'. |
Re: When I Thought I Have Seen It All.... by Lethal234(m): 4:54pm On Oct 05, 2020 |
Ausrichie: He was hurt, that's why compromise is important in relationship, there is every probability one of you could fall in does low mood, there is no point fighting back. When someone feels hurt because of something you did and approach you in that aroused state, simply work them out of it especially when they want you to. That's how you connect with each other deep moods. But it's obvious they were not compatible. The lady is not ready for his needs. |
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