ERCROSS:


Not like one's mother-in-law. Will she charge her own mum if it were to be her own mum. This mother-in-law is someone who is expected to take her as her own daughter after getting married to his son. No, the lady no do well, abeg

openbusiness6:
You misunderstood the chat. The guy didn't say she shouldn't collect payment for her services. They guy said she should have asked him for it. He would have paid for it, that he was the one that recommended her to his mother to fix the hair. So he has a very valid point.

uboma:



If the reverse was the situation, how would you rate it?

If it was the guy's mom (not confirmed mother in-law yet) who offered her services to the son's girlfriend and asked to be paid, what would you say?

Dayoebe:
When you are dating business minded people

uboma:



Why did he not inform her earlier not to bill his mother? Why did he not inform m her earlier that he will be the one to pay her instead?

She offered to send the money back to him but he kept on insulting her.

Businesses thrives when families and friends pay for the goods/services they receive. Life is not that hard...

ERCROSS:


The lady will eventually collect the money back from the guy naa. From the chat self, the guy might not have been angry if the lady had demanded to collect the money for her service from the guy self. Anyways, everybody had the right to their own opinion, but for me, I can't consider such a lady the person I can spend the rest of my life with.

openbusiness6:
He's obviously angry and that's his own way of venting his anger. But that's not the issue here. She only offered to return the money, not just because he confronted her, but because he reminded her of the benefits she has been enjoying from him FOR FREE. That was the reset button that reset her brain to see that she goofed. Imagine it was the other way around, and the girl gave the guy half of the money to rent shop for business, let say a barbing salon, buys the guy clothes, bought the phone he's using, pays some of his bills etc, then one day she recommended that her father, whom the guy knows is her father, should go and cut hair at the guy's salon. Maybe the barbing fee is N1000, in your own view, will you say the same thing that the guy should collect the N1k, after all he is running a business? Sometimes, we need to be factual about life, not being sentimental. Common sense dictates that the guy will cut the father's hair and if he wants to pay, he will turn it down. And then maybe later on, the girl can pay him or not pay him, it doesn't matter, he's already benefitting much more from her already. You see some people just lack ethics and lack common sense. No wonder they say common sense is not common.

openbusiness6:
For me, I won't delve into who's right or who's wrong etc, cuz you will end up arguing back and forth for nothing, because this matter is a thing of perspectives and mindset. To each his own or every mallam to his kettle. But this is a classic example or reason why men need to choose spouses based on compatibility, it's very important, intellectual compatibility especially. Mindset is very important. If your way of reasoning is conflicting, or you have conflicting values or ethics, or your mindsets are opposite or you have opposing mindsets, then you can always expect more clashes and dramas like this, and possibly breakups. Mental compatibility and compatibility on values system or ethics & principles is a critical aspect to consider before marriage. Imagine a guy that pays your bills like he supported you with half of your shop rent, bought your phone, buys you clothes, probably gives money for upkeep from time to time too etc, sold phone for your sibling at cost price without making any profit just because he is your brother, but to do hair for his mother, you feel 100% entitled that she must pay for your service. Well, fortunately for him, he hasn't signed court papers before his eyes has opened to reality. Their mindset and way of life is obviously different. If he marries her, he will surely have many problems with compatibility issues.

uboma:



There is nothing about ethics or common sense here.

The guy is only after flimsy excuses to end the relationship with her. There was nothing wrong in what she did.

Korllami007:


Don't shift blame to communication. Leave communication alone make e de enjoy hin life.
The guy clothed her, bought phone for her, paid half of the girl shop rent and that is same salon the guy's mom went to make her hair, phone of 60k he sold it for her brother 48k and that's 12k loss. After all this, the only thing this guy could benefit from her is just to make his mother hair for free which the cost might not be up to 2k.


To you, communication should take the blame.

Lethal234:

This is serious, at first I thought it was a normal bf/gf thing, but when I read propose, paid for shop rent, bought phone, bought clothes... Just speechless.

uboma:



To the contrary, the lady did nothing wrong. She accepted payment for her services irrespective of who's involved. I see nothing wrong in it.

Businesses thrives when family and friends pay for the goods/services they receive.

WoundedLamb:


Yes, there was a little problem. It was a very very little problem that shouldn't have led to "you're foolish", "you're wicked", etc. And like I said, it was not about the money but a difference in understanding. As you can see on this thread, there's a divide already cause people see things differently. 2k might not have made all the difference to the girl so I'm pretty sure not asking the woman to keep her money was an oversight or a different perspective. The guy does not like it, which is valid too. But if the guy leaves her cause of this exact problem, bro, he's not ready for marriage. If we're being honest with ourselves, we'd all agree that this is the kind of day-to-day little problems that naturally lace our relationships regardless of how perfect we think we are. In fact, if this is the only major problem they've ever had, then they've got a more perfect relationship than a lot of people here on NL who would quickly type "dump her!".

SavageResponse:


That notwithstanding business is business

SavageResponse:


That notwithstanding business is business

Korllami007:


I laugh in different perspectives. The guy sold a phone of 60k for 48k to her brother and the guy has no communication issues or different perspectives when hr did it. But it's her turn to reciprocate just 1% of what the guy has done in her life, communcation issue and different perspectives spring up, that's why she couldn't do it. Orisirisi.

That's a trait of an ingrate. There is no two ways to it, stop painting it.

WoundedLamb:


Oga, why are you bringing unrelated things together? The lady didn't even know the phone was solder cheaper than the actual price. To her, it was the normal price and she didn't bother talking about it then cause she wasn't expecting her boyfriend to do more than he'd be willing to do. There was no communication around that. The communication I'm talking about is the one we both read which obviously took place after she took money from the guy's mum. The guy came for a fight and not for a discussion. If that's how to address things your girlfriend does that you don't like, that's fine. I pray he finds someone who will never do what he doesn't like. As for the money, so many people would have collected it not because they are hungry or ingrates but because it doesn't make any difference to them. This is something that shouldn't be a deal breaker. Tell her you weren't expecting that and she will not do it next time. Go confrontational and she will be forced to defend herself.

Korllami007:

You win.
You can keep painting trash behavior with gold, that's your business.

Na the idiot guy wey spend money ontop girlfriend wey he supposed spend on his mother I blame.
The faster he knows that women don't reciprocate sacrifice or been nice, the better for him. Otherwise, women will keep showing him pepper.

WoundedLamb:


I knew this was the direction this chat was going.. the women bashing team. Misogyny has so much clouded your thinking that you can no longer treate cases in isolation. It's about supporting one gender and not about logic. He got all those for her so he could call her names at will? The girl was totally put together throughout the chat but was only telling him to stop calling her names. That's the kind of girl who is willing to talk about things and move on. Whether she was right or not, the guy has zero skill on how to address issues. Zero.

Lethal234:


Of course business is business, but in situation's like this you need to understand his views and compromise, at least for the sake of the relationship, simple ' am sorry, I never saw it like that' could have done miracles.

Korllami007:


K

dopedealer:
To be candid , the lady is all wrong considering the level of investment and support the guy has put in for her. To start with how much is the money for hair ?
In a typical Yoruba setting , it would be considered that she lacks respect and foresight . She failed to differentiate btw customers and mother in-laws.
She is so money inclined and might have probably been broke at that time which forced her to even collect the money without thinking. Atleast she could have offered a discount!!

Ausrichie:
The guy is so immature, chai. Just simply saying "you for do discount for my mama na" would have made her understand, unfortunately in life no matter how much you do for someone you are not entitled to everything from that person, he should have said it politely not charging her like she did something dubious to him.

Ausrichie:

The way he approached her was wrong, that is the problem, he could have just said it jokingly simple as ABC.

Ausrichie:

The way he approached her was wrong, that is the problem, he could have just said it jokingly simple as ABC.