UR, FATHER:

What is surprising me is that they both know that if they sleep with each other without condom that she would get pregnant. And the funny thing is that when they asked the question a lady said she would just let him go!!!! and am like without even small trouble to make him feel he did something bad

there is nothing bad to feel about

remember each person is responsible for his action

so she is responsible for half of it so i would say there are all responsible therefore no one between the two should think s/he is less responsible

nope, If I must do it without protection, it must be someone (no more a boyfriend thingy) I wanna spend d rest of my life with, and he must accept me and the baby

No matter who the person is, AIDS no dey show for face OO!

Condom pls!

foyeks2001:

nope, If I must do it without protection, it must be someone (no more a boyfriend thingy) I wanna spend d rest of my life with, and he must accept me and the baby

cool from your point of view and principle but if he is playing along but in his heart he is just having fun he doesnt want to spend the rest of his life with you

foyeks2001:

nope, If I must do it without protection, it must be someone (no more a boyfriend thingy) I wanna spend d rest of my life with, and he must accept me and the baby

ZIM DRILL:

cool from your point of view and principle but if he is playing along but in his heart he is just having fun he doesnt want to spend the rest of his life with you

^^^That

No, it is not a must to marry the girl SIMPLE because she is pregnant with your child. You marry because you are ready to make a commitment and you want to be with that person for life. If you only marry that person because they bear your children then the marriage will most likely not work because the desire is not there.

Good luck.

@OP

Neffa Effa

I was about to bring up this topic. I have a friend in this situation. To the OP and his question, my answer is a capital NO! One thing that irks and irritates me is when some women try to play the victim. (Please note I said some) Please tell me how two consenting adults will decide to sleep together without protection, one gets pregnant and decides for some funny reason that the other should pay the ultimate price because of the calamity THEY BOTH got themselves into. Was the sekx at gun point? They are both adults, they both consciously made the mistake so they should both EQUALLY bear the consequences. Unfortunately, we women are at a disadvantage because we get to carry the baby for 9 months while the man just goes about his business; and after the baby is born, we live with the stigma. Well, the more reason why women should be more careful. I would think that when two adults want to have sekx the woman is the more careful one because she has more to lose. In the heat of the moment, most men lose their senses and become careless, but women are still sane enough to stop the act and demand protection because even in that moment, the thought of an unwanted pregnancy flashes briefly thru her mind. If she decides to go ahead without one, she is responsible for that decision and should be ready to bear the consequences if they don't turn out the way she wants them to. (As in the guy marrying her).

My friend is in the same situation with a girl he just met a few months ago. They started having casual sekx and kasala come burst. My friend is devastated, he thinks he was set up (usual excuse). I asked what his plans were and he said marriage was out of the question cos he couldn't confidently say he knew the girl well enough, let alone have feelings for her. I was shocked and scolded him about being careless and irresponsible. Told him to man up and accept responsibility for the child which he said he would. Of course we know that for most girls, that's not the point. The point is "When are u coming to see my parents?" Infact, the girl and the mom are already planning an Easter wedding "before the belle shows"  . The boy's parents never know o! This thing just happened and wedding plans are already under-way? Wonderful! Anyway, my friend told the girl what he felt and the girl is not happy obviously, she's playing the sentiment card and already threatening fire and brimstone and running-around-naked-while-praying and all that ish! BULLSHIT! I told him that if she does that, he should also run around naked and pray, then let the "blameless" and "innocent" one among them win. I don't buy into that idea that the man should forcefully marry you because he got you pregnant. If he wants to, and I mean truly wants to, as in he-loves-u-and-all, fine; if he doesn't, please RUN! It's not worth it. I've seen it ruin marriages. It's tempting to just get married immediately to "save face", but when the repercussions come, you'll gnash your teeth. And please don't blame the devil then o! YOU did it!

To the person saying, "its the Christain thing to do", say who? I don't buy that. I don't know what happens in other churches but in the Catholic Church pregnancy is not a good enough reason for marriage.  If a couple gets married because it is the "responsible" thing to do after a pregnancy has occured, it just makes the situation worse in the future. The Catholic Church demands that people enter into marriage freely, with no external pressures. Anything short of that could be grounds for annulment in the future (that is if all attempts at resolving the marriage fails). Marriage is SACRED!
As a woman, I feel for the lady involved but I like to tell it like it is. I wouldn't want anyone to sugar-coat things for me either. All it does is cause bigger heartaches in the future. I know how it feels cos it hits close to home. When my sister got pregnant for a guy who wasn't ready to settle down, I looked her in the eye and told her she goofed and should have known better. I told her to stop playing victim and move on with her life. Luckily I have parents who share my views and have no time for unnecessary drama. My sister is a happier person now.

That being said, I think guys in this situation should be responsible for the child's upkeep and expenses until he/she is an adult (by Naija standards o! No be 21). You also have a responsibility as a father to that child to care for him/her like one and do all the things daddies do. Even when you eventually get married to someone else, you have a responsibility to protect the child and his future, cos we all know it's not going to be easy when another woman gets into the picture.

Morale of the long story? Men and Women, if you don't want to deal with an unplanned pregnancy, don't have sekx, or use protection. If you don't, don't start crying foul. It's pathetic.

It is not a must to marry her.abandon can leav her and run away

foreignboy:

It is not a must to marry her.abandon can leav her and run away

Why Some men sha.

Chicco,

It is not farfetched about the men abandoning the women they have impregnated. So I wasn't surprised that he said that because that tells me that he one of those mugus that stick and run.

@OP
Is nt a must dat u shuld marry her if she happens 2b pregnant. Seriously wat were u finking wen u were goin dwn wif her?

marry the baby pls.

@OP, I didnt read the story, but the answer is a big FAT "NO". Its better to always sleep with the one you love, just in case you know, if you know what I mean.

Is not a must to marry a lady u impregnat
I have this friend who impregnat this girl and she said she needed the baby and she won't terminate it but since then the family has been disturbing to know him or see his face but Dude don't want to contact the family ...