You tried to make them comfortable, call them daily and then they get accustomed to that lifestyle.

Now they have constantly refused to accept the fact that a child would grow up and lead his own life, I feel there's a stage one gets to in life and would want to explore, think less about family.

But when you have a parent who feels when you don't call them for a week, there's someone somewhere getting all the attention.

Then they start hating on their child's friends because they feel the friend is trying to take their place in the life of their child and then the child gets elusive and the list goes on and on.

So is there any way anyone could strike a balance and remain there ? i.e have a life of your own and also be in your parents life.

When u dey extort dem in the name of school fees,handouts,term papers,departmental and faculty levies..abi u don 4get how u use almost 500k take write school project...wetin concern me sef.

Try to get them something to do.
Too much time on ones hands leads to some petty issues.
If they were busy, they'd have less time to be monitoring you.
.
They can take up tutoring of neighbourhood kids, more church activities, private business etc.

My brother nothing we can do that can equal what our parent did for us. Why would you go a week without calling them? What's stopping you from calling them every 3 days?

Please create time for them because they sacrificed a lot for us too.

Mind you, cherish the time you have them around because they won't be around forever.

Winneygirl:
Try to get them something to do.
Too much time on ones hands leads to some petty issues.
If they were busy, they'd have less time to be monitoring you.
.
They can take up tutoring of neighbourhood kids, more church activities, private business etc.

That's true thanks, that's a salient point to consider.

donbachi:
When u dey extort dem in the name of school fees,handouts,term papers,departmental and faculty levies..abi u don 4get how u use almost 500k take write school project...wetin concern me sef.

How does that answer the above question?

madridguy:
My brother nothing we can do that can equal what our parent did for us. Why would you go a week without calling them? What's stopping you from calling them every 3 days?

Please create time for them because they sacrificed a lot for us too.

Mind you, cherish the time you have them around because they won't be around forever.

Yeah but you can't remain that baby forever. And as they age they start telling you irrelevant things, reporting everyone to you and expect you to take sides with them.

Calling th every 3 days are you being serious right now?
Na gossip old people like o

Where did they encounter your friends that they had the opportunity to be hostile to them ? Your parents are acting immature. It is a phase every parent goes through but they all don't act out the way your parents are doing. Are they retired ? Are they unemployed ? Are you the only child ? Are you super rich compared to your extended family background ? There is no easy way to go about it but trust me, it is like trying to break up with someone but still remain friends. You must be form and don't be framed into succumbing to their attention seeking. They would be bitter at first but they must get used to it in order not to give you problems when you are married.

Chiquitq:
Where did they encounter your friends that they had the opportunity to be hostile to them ? Your parents are acting immature. It is a phase every parent goes through but they all don't act out the way your parents are doing. Are they retired ? Are they unemployed ? Are you the only child ? Are you super rich compared to your extended family background ? There is no easy way to go about it but trust me, it is like trying to break up with someone but still remain friends. You must be form and don't be framed into succumbing to their attention seeking. They would be bitter at first but they must get used to it in order not to give you problems when you are married.

I'm really confused and frustrated! They want to know everything and handle every project even the ones they have little or no idea about, because they feel they are old and experienced.
And one cannot run from them as the feeling that they are there brings this comfort.

Lol, op no mind them, they will always see u as that little baby, mothers are even worse, they will never believe u are old enough to know what's right for you or decisions to make.
As for calling, it doesn't take much of your time to just dial their number and say hello.
U ain't married yet and they are already panicking for lack of attention, and hating on an unknown friends they think is taking ur attention away from them, well I pity ur future wife already if u don't stand ur ground now.
This reminds me of my late Mum, she used to give my tailor d style she should sew for me even when I was already in school and thought I was a big girl. When ever I wore them my roommates would laugh at me and ask why I didn't reduce them to my size? I became tired of giving them explanation, It eventually stopped when I started buying the clothes myself from my pocket money, I buy and sew in Kano before coming home.
Traveling is another wahala, always called to know d present location.

But if u are not the only child, ur case supposed to be different.
my older brothers were so free then. During weekends or holiday, u won't still see dem at home, either playing PS in friends house or in soccer house watching football, Always requesting for recharge cards in sch but they never called to even acknowledge it when they received it.

Why won't you call your parents even once for a whole week?

Brandonx:
You tried to make them comfortable, call them daily and then they get accustomed to that lifestyle.

Now they have constantly refused to accept the fact that a child would grow up and lead his own life, I feel there's a stage one gets to in life and would want to explore, think less about family.

But when you have a parent who feels when you don't call them for a week, there's someone somewhere getting all the attention.

Then they start hating on their child's friends because they feel the friend is trying to take their place in the life of their child and then the child gets elusive and the list goes on and on.

So is there any way anyone could strike a balance and remain there ? i.e have a life of your own and also be in your parents life.

Your error is that you are weak and were weak in their eyes and you have not shown them your boundaries!

Huh? Your parents? This generation is losing it. I mean... You're refering to your parents who nutured you from cradle to this stage as Intruders? Because of friends who will dump you the moment things go south? You need to have a rethink and know that family comes first. I wish my parents were still alive.

You don't know how good a thing is until you lose it.


Give them all the attention now they are alive. You can have many other friends as you want but you can never have another parents. Show them love now.

Oizee:
Lol, op no mind them, they will always see u as that little baby, mothers are even worse, they will never believe u are old enough to know what's right for you or decisions to make.
As for calling, it doesn't take much of your time to just dial their number and say hello.
U ain't married yet and they are already panicking for lack of attention, and hating on an unknown friends they think is taking ur attention away from them, well I pity ur future wife already if u don't stand ur ground now.
This reminds me of my late Mum, she used to give my tailor d style she should sew for me even when I was already in school and thought I was a big girl. When ever I wore them my roommates would laugh at me and ask why I didn't reduce them to my size? I became tired of giving them explanation, It eventually stopped when I started buying the clothes myself from my pocket money, I buy and sew in Kano before coming home.
Traveling is another wahala, always called to know d present location.

But if u are not the only child, ur case supposed to be different.
my older brothers were so free then. During weekends or holiday, u won't still see dem at home, either playing PS in friends house or in soccer house watching football, Always requesting for recharge cards in sch but they never called to even acknowledge it when they received it.

I'm not an only child so I don't know why the obsession.

crackhaus:
Why won't you call your parents even once for a whole week?

We don't engage in any relevant discussion as regards current trends.

Dtruthspeaker:


Your error is that you are weak and were weak in their eyes and you have not shown them your boundaries!

Could you please explain the weakness and how can I set the boundaries.

CalliDora1:
Huh? Your parents? This generation is losing it. I mean... You're refering to your parents who nutured you from cradle to this stage as Intruders? Because of friends who will dump you the moment things go south? You need to have a rethink and know that family comes first. I wish my parents were still alive.

You don't know how good a thing is until you lose it.


Give them all the attention now they are alive. You can have many other friends as you want but you can never have another parents. Show them love now.

I appreciate all they did for me quite alright but I don't know if it's obsession or something else it's frustrating me.
I just want to have my space.

Nonsense!


Op Orie kope rara

There's one song that our primary school teacher always teach us:

Some have Food but cannot eat,some can eat but have no food,we have Food and we can eat, glory be to thee o Lord,amen!


You're a senseless child.if not you will know some people don't have parents and wish to be in your shoes,you you have caring parents and you don't appreciate them

In fact there's a Yoruba proverb that says there are some people that don't even care you exist and if someone manages to eye you, you should thank God

You don't have irresponsible parents who don't care about paying your school fees and Taking care of your physical and emotional needs

You don't have parents in the hospital experiencing long term diseases that you have to be spending thousands of Naira on drugs to take care of their health,you don't have vegetable parents that have to rely on you for feeding, clothing and going to the toilet.your parents still accuse you of not calling them and you don't think it's because they still care?

Some fathers just birth kids everywhere and don't even know all the names of their kids and they'll have to recognise the kids by the names of their mothers but you have parents that still care.o stup1d gan.do you know how many people wish to be in your shoes?


No be some people wey born those children wey dey sleep for under bridge wey no even know their papa or mama?


You have parents in this generation that gave you a good life and all you can do is come here and display foolishness?


Wait until your parents die then you will know the value of parents in a child's life.you will be looking at your dad or mom's phone number on your phone but they won't be able to call you again forever that's when you will know that some people are irreplaceable in your life

On a final note,you better ask God for forgiveness and for undervaluing your parents.you even see parents wey wan talk to you ,you no happy.now before I give you slap go to the market and buy something nice to joju for your parents based on what you can afford.radarada!

Brandonx:

I appreciate all they did for me quite alright but I don't know if it's obsession or something else it's frustrating me.
I just want to have my space.

I think you were caged a lot while growing up so for you adulthood is finally freedom long awaited hence the need to break off from them but I tell you what, you can't. Just learn to manage them like that.

It is well.

Na you wey get the luxury of time to dey call them every week, na you cause am...


You have to grow up n face life as a man awaiting to make his own nuclear family.

Toughen up, bro! You no be woman!

My parents know me, I don't have time for non-productive talk. If there is nothing important to talk about, I won't call them for a decade. My friends too know this, I cannot call you to greet you, say wetin happen nah

Brandonx:

Could you please explain the weakness and how can I set the boundaries.

I stand to be corrected but I think you had at first sought to please them even beyond yourself and your siblings.

If this is true then your error is that you showed them that they come first.

So if this is true, then it's time you show them that you are taking care of you

Do what you can for them. Never use the harsh word on them. If they have other means to get assistance, I believe they won't disturb you much. Your parents are your world. treat them well

Dtruthspeaker:


I stand to be corrected but I think you had at first sought to please them even beyond yourself and your siblings.

If this is true then your error is that you showed them that they come first.

So if this is true, then it's time you show them that you are taking care of you

Yes I did put them first! But I no wan do again it's mentally exhausting.
I tried to stay away I created another problem.
Egbewamwomwen!

jidamsel43:
Do what you can for them. Never use the harsh word on them. If they have other means to get assistance, I believe they won't disturb you much. Your parents are your world. treat them well

Their own is not money , they are over protective! They want to know everything,they keep saying prophet said this, prophet said that.

Demand from them too

It is well. Let's try to learn from this for our future selves. We should have something doing (business, work, etc) and still be productive. Not that we will retire early and just sit at home and have time to see what to gossip about neighbours or be counting the days that our children don't call us.

It is hard, but as our kids grow, they need space to be independent. Blackmailing them with how much you spent on them or suffered for them is just manipulative.

Brandonx:

Yeah but you can't remain that baby forever. And as they age they start telling you irrelevant things, reporting everyone to you and expect you to take sides with them.

Calling th every 3 days are you being serious right now?
Na gossip old people like o

Are you their first child?

Brandonx:

Yes I did put them first! But I no wan do again it's mentally exhausting.
I tried to stay away I created another problem.
Egbewamwomwen!

You have said the magic words "I tried to stay away", then you returned to it "I created another problem".

First, you did not create the other Problem, they did that and they must, because you were solving the first problem and it was working (that is what you should have been seeing).

For, if they did not react to your solution, it means it was not working or the problem never existed. But since they reacted, then your solution was yielding it's desired results.

Then you made the mistake of abandoning it. Now, you are going to have to push harder and longer for as it is said, there is nothing in this world which we do not pay the price to acquire it, be it a car, a wife or freedom. A price must be paid, if you truly desire it!

Kikiki, are you their only son or child?

You should've started working on this long time. I think it may already be late for you to be a man in their eyes but try to create a balance else they will get wife for you and even draw sex time table join sef.

I'm an only son, have a married elder sister, and dad is late so you can imagine what would've been happening to people like me with only ladies around if I hadn't started becoming a man on time rather than being the baby of the house they wanted me to. It was a tough emotional battle before I graduated from Junior to Senior in my papa house. Even though mumsy and sis dey call me that Senior with mockery, I still like am like that.

J111333:
Kikiki, are you their only son or child?

You should've started working on this long time. I think it may already be late for you to be a man in their eyes but try to create a balance else they will get wife for you and even draw sex time table join sef.

I'm an only son, have a married elder sister, and dad is late so you can imagine what would've been happening to people like me with only ladies around if I hadn't started becoming a man on time rather than being the baby of the house they wanted me to. It was a tough emotional battle before I graduated from ordinary Junior to Senior in my papa house. Even though mumsy and sis dey call me that Senior with mockery, I still like am like that.

Same here, except for the popsy part, (Non-resident father as Ron Kenoly would say) then I had aunties to also battle with. Glory be to God, for they could not overwhelm me.

Dtruthspeaker:


You have said the magic words "I tried to stay away", then you returned to it "I created another problem".

First, you did not create the other Problem, they did that and they must, because you were solving the first problem and it was working (that is what you should have been seeing).

For, if they did not react to your solution, it means it was not working or the problem never existed. But since they reacted, then your solution was yielding it's desired results.

Then you made the mistake of abandoning it. Now, you are going to have to push harder and longer for as it is said, there is nothing in this world which we do not pay the price to acquire it, be it a car, a wife or freedom. A price must be paid, if you truly desire it!

I could not stay away; I didn't call and didn't take their calls either, then I feeling somehow, whenever I see their calls I get panic attacks
' could it be something bad has happened'