Good morning Nairalanders...
This is something that affect me and it's affecting my family relationship...
At a very tender age,I was abused sexually by a lady,church member then ..she made her toy for satisfaction..I don't want to go much into the details,guys as well also abused me,they d*cked me..like I was totally and batteredly used...

********
My journey to how I began losing connections with my parents, how I became an extroverted person...
I was threatened by my abusers that if I talk, they will kill me,hurt me or my parents....they made it so threatening,that I couldn't even up to anybody,you might guess what age I was(10-11years) to be getting death threats...I was damn scared...to protect myself and everybody,I refused to talk...it made me lose my association with people...I started staying indoors,not keeping friends... then when I started growing(age 13),I started having some traumas,like I couldn't even talk to anybody,I was thinking... I started hating humans,I hated people.... I couldn't associate with anybody.My best results ever were in my primary school..from js1 to ss1 no concentration at all..I tried getting my foot back in ss2...
People never interest me,I was more alone....
Suddenly I started hating my parents,like if they were there I wouldn't feel such..I became stubborn purposely...I never liked my dad especially...I really don't know why...maybe because I feel he's too strict I guess,I really don't know how to talk to him...hmm
I just disliked everybody ..after I was done with secondary school..we all relocated though,i have a sis though..that was where I became worst ..I started having depression,right now trying to battle it,I can't....I became a crazy human...try to fight with my parents...so I had to tell them what happened to me in the past...
Pls continue down...
For the last part of what I want to write

Be okay already.



You need to speak with a health practitioner.


Never keep silent on abuse. These abusers are the ones scared of what will happen to them yet they conservely instill that fear in their victim.


Speak up.

Sorry about your hurtful past experience.but how and where did you meet guys that could molest you at such young age?. in any case try to heal and put the past behind you.go for therapy and counseling.dont let your past define you or turn you into a monster.jesus loves you and he is there for you.just surrender your life to jesuschrist completely.

After I told them what happened,it was as if everything came back to normal...But each time I remember my past because it rings in my head everything, I've read all articles and materials to get them off...but it's not working...
Each time I remember ,my behavior changes and I argue with my parents...I hate everything...
Suddenly my thoughts are scary to me...negative thinking ..i develop self hate all of a sudden...
Though I'm in the university now,I can't concentrate at all...this is just my year one in school...mehn...I'm scared...
I argue with my dad alot,everybody...
I love my parents,but the thoughts keeping making me look like a bad child in the house...my dad sold his car for.me to write waec as at 2017..thank God he has two now..
Today I was like why is my dad controlling me anyhow...because most times he does...I regretted saying that it hurts..each time I remember my parents have been there for me...but depressions is kiling me ,my conscience keeps dying day by day. .I'm not really a bad person...just traumast affecting me so badly...

Do you know what I'm scared of..I don't want my children to do this to me they way I dislike everybody...but it's not my fault....my behavior saddens my mom and those around me... it's not intentional...
I'm 20years old,I still have a long way to go...depression,self hate, negative thinking, extrovert,lost of everything thoughts are hurting me inside ....
I need help seriously....
Help me please ....I want to come out of this ,I'm tired....

chatinent:
Be okay already.



You need to speak with a health practitioner.


Never keep silent on abuse. These abusers are the ones scared of what will happen to them yet they conservely instill that fear in their victim.


Speak up.

I've been trying to look for one...I can't find ,no money to help myself...

Aladdin1:
Sorry about your hurtful past experience.but how and where did you meet guys that could molest you at such young age?. in any case try to heal and put the past behind you.go for therapy and counseling.dont let your past define you or turn you into a monster.jesus loves you and he is there for you.just surrender your life to jesuschrist completely.

I wanted to write that... I don't want to turn to a monster...thanks anyways..

Go see a shrink.

Go see a shrink.

I don't understand you

OP it's good you're at an all time high of "I don't care".. don't hurt yourself with depression, find something you're very passionate about and set your mind to prosper at it. Just anything you really like to do will get you concentrated and with time you'll get over everything.

Your answer and solution still lies in knowing and receiving jesus christ as your lord and saviour.he would heal your hurtful past and give you a new hope of glory.dedicate your life and time to God and helping others and you would find your purpose.its not your fault you feet this way.demons are the cause.the molestation you experienced opened the door to demons of lust,perversion,anger,self hate,guilt,hatred,depression,worthlessness.suicide.e.t.c to enter you and their mission is to destroy.only jesus can set you free really.

OP, if u can pls drop your WhatsApp number

Darkerberry:
OP it's good you're at an all time high of "I don't care".. don't hurt yourself with depression, find something you're very passionate about and set your mind to prosper at it. Just anything you really like to do will get you concentrated and with time you'll get over everything.

Thanks sir.,.

Presently,I'm in the hospital.... my health is kind of deteriorating right now...
I fainted and in the process hit my head hard on the floor....I have brain issues now...
Please support me in prayers,and any way you can, financially too please.

I want to eat Christmas chicken too..thank you
I want to see next year January...thanks y'all...

Noaril:
OP, if u can pls drop your WhatsApp number

Boss,okay..