I have a question I have noticed people look at tomboys as a norm and all those guys who look gayish with disgust.

Last week in my block we discovered a group of lesbians and the people's reaction was funny they just argued but they did nothing to the ladies but if it was a gay guy he would be beaten to a pulp.

So guys why do we not take lesbianism seriously as much as we do gay?

Society is programmed to understand that masculine behavior is for men and not women.

And even if masculine behavior is exhibited by women, it is still welcomed because they are still seen as women

You have done well my son.... I'll soon move this your question to frontpage....

Both are highly disgusting

lalastjclala:
You have done well my son.... I'll soon move this your question to frontpage....

Lalasticlala come see ur clone..........

Donspicey:



Lalasticlala come see ur clone..........

I don mark your own face be that... If you make frontpage call me bastard...

lalastjclala:

I don mark your own face be that... If you make frontpage call me bastard...

lolss...i dey ur front sef.......

come pass mk i see.......

Donspicey:


lolss...i dey ur front sef.......

come pass mk i see.......

You are proving to be stubborn... Ill will show you that I don't take nonsense...

Many reasons actually.

First, men tend to present whatever they like or do as "acceptable" or, at least, "not that bad" while they police other 'genders'. Their dressing is unquestionable. When they flirt, it's a man's thing. When a boy misbehaves, boys will always be boys. When they cheat, it's not a big deal. Etc. Don't get me wrong, this is not a gender fight, I'm only trying to torchlight the 'natural' source of men's attitude towards effeminate men. And the point I'm trying to make is that the thought of two ladies doing it is somewhat pleasant to most men. So lesbianism somehow seems to be "more manageable". On the other hand, the idea of two men holding hands is already repulsive to a typical homophobic Nigerian man. Therefore, gay guys would probably have a special location in hell where the temperature is highest. I really don't know the disposition of ladies towards gay guys in Nigeria. But does it really matter? Like I said, it's a man's world.

Second, it could also be as a result of insecurity. Like we know, sexuality is a spectrum and people are not always gay or straight. We all fall somewhere on the spectrum. For some men who are not on the far end of heterosexuality, the fact that they sometimes slightly admire a cute guy (even without any amorous feelings) constitute a source of worry as they fear that might hurt their masculine ego. They fear their own sexuality might be questioned if they don't attack these gay guys for all to see. So they go all the way to criticize/hate on gay or effeminate guys just to convince themselves (and maybe the world) they don't roll that way. It's more about them and their fragile masculinity than the person they're baring fangs at.

Third, it could be as a result of "bandwagonism". Everyone wants to be called alpha and if the so called alpha men hate effeminate guys, well... why not? For this category of men, it's not about personal convictions. Rather, it's about anything that would make them feel more like a member of the category of men they admire. You see them here asking questions like "guys, should I kiss her?", "should I go to her house or make her come to my house?", etc. They need manuals on how to exist and if the manual says they should hate effeminate guys, so be it. Anything to feel like a man.

Finally, you have the concept of nurture (probably the deep rooted one on the list). Boys grow up learning from the older ones it's not just unacceptable to do things like a lady but also unacceptable to tolerate or associate with people who do. We see such men saying "it's just disgusting" and nothing more. Well, anything we learn growing up is more like a religion, we don't always have the best logic to defend it but we'd stand by it nevertheless. Our parents trained us based on their understanding and that's OK. But we mustn't pass everything on cause we now have a better understanding. And it's not breaking away from home training, it's rather refining home training based on education. Even our parents did that. Their parents told them that when you lose a baby multiple times, it's probably "ogbanje". But they didn't teach us that part cause they learned about sickle cell. Likewise, we must not teach our kids to hate effeminate people cause we now know about hormones. Discriminating against such people is like discriminating against left handed people. We now know better.

MJBOLT:

Women do not really have a problem with lesbians or gays but men seem to have problems with gays and give lesbians a pass.

I have noticed this

Na both of them i no like

Patriarchy. The male sex is seen as superior so it seems 'cool' for a girl ( the sex seen as inferior) to act like the superior sex. The superior sex acting like the inferior sex however? Nah that would seem unreasonable.
Just like how say a hundred years ago in America, a black man acting white could be seen as civilised but a white n****ga ? Now that would be seen as unacceptable

Also, like one of the posters above me said, most of the hatred for trends like this and homosexuality doesn't come from the fact that people care so much about some imaginary balance of life being maintained or about what the scripture says, it comes from the fact that such things threaten their own senses of identity, sexuality and normalcy

We seem to lack respect for humanity in our country. There is an epidemic of people placing a value of 0, ZERO, on life.

If we had that respect for the dignity of a person, we would all mind our business and allow people to live their lives.

Now, they say we are 200 million people (no census has been carried out since 2005). I fear the disregard for life will only worsen in the near future.

Na both of them i no like

hashtagged:
I have a question I have noticed people look at tomboys as a norm and all those guys who look gayish with disgust.

Last week in my block we discovered a group of lesbians and the people's reaction was funny they just argued but they did nothing to the ladies but if it was a gay guy he would be beaten to a pulp.

So guys why do we not take lesbianism seriously as much as we do gay?

Even in the LGBT+ community, there's a great disdain for effeminate men, they are seen as weak while the masculine or straight passing gay men are seeing as gods in their dogma.

It stems from the psychosocial attitudes displayed in gender roles and traditional norms which in turn births misogyny, women are seen as weak and below the belt so anything below the belt conflates with the superiority of masculinity(their definition, not mine). This is what is deemed the natural law that have been passed out from generations to generations which is why I push for gender-neutral parenting. Toxicity isn't an inherent trait in men
Weakness isn't an inherent trait in women

WoundedLamb:
Many reasons actually.

First, men tend to present whatever they like or do as "acceptable" or, at least, "not that bad" while they police other 'genders'. Their dressing is unquestionable. When they flirt, it's a man's thing. When a boy misbehaves, boys will always be boys. When they cheat, it's not a big deal. Etc. Don't get me wrong, this is not a gender fight, I'm only trying to torchlight the 'natural' source of men's attitude towards effeminate men. And the point I'm trying to make is that the thought of two ladies doing it is somewhat pleasant to most men. So lesbianism somehow seems to be "more manageable". On the other hand, the idea of two men holding hands is already repulsive to a typical homophobic Nigerian man. Therefore, gay guys would probably have a special location in hell where the temperature is highest. I really don't know the disposition of ladies towards gay guys in Nigeria. But does it really matter? Like I said, it's a man's world.

Second, it could also be as a result of insecurity. Like we know, sexuality is a spectrum and people are not always gay or straight. We all fall somewhere on the spectrum. For some men who are not on the far end of heterosexuality, the fact that they sometimes slightly admire a cute guy (even without any amorous feelings) constitute a source of worry as they fear that might hurt their masculine ego. They fear their own sexuality might be questioned if they don't attack these gay guys for all to see. So they go all the way to criticize/hate on gay or effeminate guys just to convince themselves (and maybe the world) they don't roll that way. It's more about them and their fragile masculinity than the person they're baring fangs at.

Third, it could be as a result of "bandwagonism". Everyone wants to be called alpha and if the so called alpha men hate effeminate guys, well... why not? For this category of men, it's not about personal convictions. Rather, it's about anything that would make them feel more like a member of the category of men they admire. You see them here asking questions like "guys, should I kiss her?", "should I go to her house or make her come to my house?", etc. They need manuals on how to exist and if the manual says they should hate effeminate guys, so be it. Anything to feel like a man.

Finally, you have the concept of nurture (probably the deep rooted one on the list). Boys grow up learning from the older ones it's not just unacceptable to do things like a lady but also unacceptable to tolerate or associate with people who do. We see such men saying "it's just disgusting" and nothing more. Well, anything we learn growing up is more like a religion, we don't always have the best logic to defend it but we'd stand by it nevertheless. Our parents trained us based on their understanding and that's OK. But we mustn't pass everything on cause we now have a better understanding. And it's not breaking away from home training, it's rather refining home training based on education. Even our parents did that. Their parents told them that when you lose a baby multiple times, it's probably "ogbanje". But they didn't teach us that part cause they learned about sickle cell. Likewise, we must not teach our kids to hate effeminate people cause we now know about hormones. Discriminating against such people is like discriminating against left handed people. We now know better.

OMG i've never seen such a wisdom-like words like urs. U nailed it

Casper21:


OMG i've never seen such a wisdom-like words like urs. U nailed it

Thanks, friendly ghost.