How do relationships that start so beautifully end up so badly? What makes a supposedly happily married life become a hell home, a war zone, where there is no peace and regular fights?

How exactly does someone go from saying they love you, to they despise you, or how does a "friend" suddenly becomes a stranger?

"I love you more than the moon that shines in the night"


"You are the only man that makes me smile when I am tired and alone"

All these are wonderful romantic words but they all lose meaning in the face of what they really want.

We see the answer in scripture...

James 4:1 (MSG)

Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. You lust for what you don't have...


(NLT, we see what causes jealousy)

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them.


When the spirit of lust dwells in a person it makes them unhappy, angry, jealous, and later on fills with hate for what they claimed to once love.


Do you know where your fights and arguments come from? They come from the selfish desires that make war inside you.

Most times people, he or she, ain't angry because of what you have done but because of what they expect from you...

What they want from you


A mother starts fighting and abusing a daughter she claims she loves. Because she wants grandchildren and a son in law, so her words become hurtful, judgemental and callous.

Not because the daughter has done anything wrong but because of what the mother wants and expects.

Colossians 3:13

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Forbearance, long suffering and bearing with someone is listed after love in Galatians 5:22

So you see that someone who doesn't have love in them can't bear with you, even in your difficulties and flaws.

When you read up further in Galatians 5: 20, after Paul lists the characteristics of lust, he writes hatred, wrath, envy/jealous which result out of lust, evil and selfish desires.
Galatians 6:8 says he who sows to his flesh shall of his flesh reap corruption.

You can't be getting into marriage with lust and expect it not to corrupted and die off.

You will see a young couple suddenly start acting like strangers but still stay together just because the bible says God hates divorce, and because their is love and peace between them.

Most times when you find out the problem, it is because of what he wants or what she wants. That they never get when they want.

We can't give what we don't have.

Someone who doesn't have love in them, that can give love to someone else.

So the person telling you they love you, do they have love in them, to an extent, do they have the fruit of the Holy Spirit in them.

When you receive love from someone and that love that comes from them isn't coming from God. Won't that put you in trouble.


When you say inside of you things like

You want a wife from God BUT she must satisfy your lust

Or you want a husband from God BUT he must satisfy your lust and preference.

Who exactly are you deceiving. God or yourself.


For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.

Titus 3:3


Lust is the reason for his, her's or your unhappiness, anger in that relationship, let go of your lust and let love lead

Relationships with no intention of marriage.

counsel of experts. Yet, the yelling and fighting doubled. The relationship is irredeemable. You throw in the towel. A part of you feel bad for letting go.


When two individuals are unity, their combined energy is greater than the sum of the individual energy. It would take a greater force to pull this bond apart. The greater the bond that exist between the two, the greater the destructive energy released. The split of an atom causes great explosion. This knowledge is used in nuclear science to create bombs.

In any human relationship that involves a break up be it husband- wife, employee- employer, business partners etc,emotions are released. In most cases, such separation causes hatred among the individual. This leads to litigation. Courts cannot heal the emotional wounds of departing members. Court creates a winner and a looser. It increases the wound of one. No two persons go to court and remain friends. The dissolution of marriage leads to a great deal of anger and resentment


I explained that here

https://tobechispeaks./2021/01/11/the-beauty-of-divorce/

Hey

Hi

lost, wrong mentality about their partners and having wrong perception about what it takes to condole each other..