In every relationship, couples quarrel. We all have friends we confide in and solicit advice from about on different aspects of our lives. When is it a bad idea(or a good idea) to involve a friend(s) in a fight you are having with your significant other? What would you do if your partner tells (or involves) his or her friends about a fight you are having.

if you have one close friend you can trust then tell ur issues to that person, but i would not suggest to tell everybody, it can and will backfire

On one end, sometimes we all need to hear other people's views and opinions. Else a lot of people will remain mugus and fools for love without learning the errors of their ways.
On the other end, friends judge and define your relationship based on what you tell them. Even after the couple has moved on the issues at the time, friends are not as forgiving or forgetting.

deniyor:

On one end, sometimes we all need to hear other people's views and opinions. Else a lot of people will remain mugus and fools for love without learning the errors of their ways.
On the other end, friends judge and define your relationship based on what you tell them. Even after the couple has moved on the issues at the time, friends are not as forgiving or forgetting.

Very true so choose what you share with your friends and how much detail you want to give out. . . . .

deniyor:

In every relationship, couples quarrel. We all have friends we confide in and solicit advice from about on different aspects of our lives. When is it a bad idea(or a good idea) to involve a friend(s) in a fight you are having with your significant other?  What would you do if your partner tells (or involves) his or her friends about a fight you are having.

It depends on the individuals involved.
I personally,would NOT discuss my husband with any soul . . .Thank you,None of my friends/pals wud ever attain that status.
If Im having issues with him,I wud discuss it with him . . .don't care if im gonna talk abt same issue for donkey years,hes worth all the effort. 
Discuss it with trusted friends and have them discuss it with their own trusted friends?Gossip chain?  No,way.
Besides,what wud outsiders do for me when I complain/seek their counsel?Are they living with me?Wud I be 100% sincere to them and like wise them?They wud only tell you what they "think" which in most cases wud not be the same thing as your spouse's thoughts.

If na BF/GF then maybe Yes,to close and mutual friends.

@ Ifyalways, u said it all

Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.
A good heart is better than all the heads in the world.

80% are happy you are going through whatever u are discussing with them. 20% don't care.
so why not sort it out with ur partner
to involve friends is the last thing i will ever do
Once bitten, twice shy.

no third party plz , settle wateva on bed

Never!
Especially if that 'friend' is a female and SINGLE!
I have never done that and NEVER will.
You are only inviting gossips into your life.
Ever wondered how all those 'pastors' see visions and prophesies?

Those so-called friends like awon 'SISTAH VISION EZEWANKWOS are the ones rattin' on ya arzzzze!

Verrrrrrry capable of handling ALL domestic issues myself.
I will not even tell my mom or my sister.
Not to talk of friend.
I do NOT listen to their own wahalas too.
Not interested!

i will tell my mum,

Me likey keeping things to myself plenty plenty.

deniyor:

In every relationship, couples quarrel. We all have friends we confide in and solicit advice from about on different aspects of our lives. When is it a bad idea(or a good idea) to involve a friend(s) in a fight you are having with your significant other? What would you do if your partner tells (or involves) his or her friends about a fight you are having.

NO, I do not agree with that

After you have told it to God. And in most cases after you have done that, there will not be any need again to include a third party. So as much as possible as you can, try to resolve your issues within yourselves. Preferably, on the bed!

The best is to settle it on bed no 3rd party pls

MeGaStReEt:


NO, I do not agree with that

Of course its normal for couple to quarrel. Quarreling is different from fighting. Of course they are two different individuals they cant be in accord always. The frequency, causes and nature is what really matters.

@ OP,its not a good idea in a relationship to involve friends. Someone your partner respects and can listen to is better than friends in most cases. friends gives bad advice most of the time.

MeGaStReEt:


NO, I do not agree with that

If you are in a relationship and you don't quarrel, you are not be true with each other. Real issues are probably not being dealt with and are swept under the rug. One day, you will ask yourself whatever happened to the 'perfect' relationship you had? How did things get so bad or fall apart? Even best friends never agree with every important thing or values!

I don't think i like to mix relationships & friendz,unless i really felt i needed to seek some advise,but i think if i was close with his sister i might be 'consulting' her just 4 telling off sakes

Do not tell, try to communicate with your spouse, no need to involve third party, instead turn to God in prayer together, no relationship is perfect. Every relationship have to face some challenges at one point or the other, like now, wifey and i just had a minor disagreement, but we'll always work it out. No need to cry to mama or papa or uncle or aunt or sister or brother, or pastor or reverend. No need.

The best is to settle it on bed no 3rd party pls

But you know third party could be fun! party!

if u both cannot sort it out on bed which is d best solution, take it to God in prayers or share with ur parents for advise else no friend is worth being involved though depends on the issue at hand

deniyor:

If you are in a relationship and you don't quarrel, you are not be true with each other. Real issues are probably not being dealt with and are swept under the rug. One day, you will ask yourself whatever happened to the 'perfect' relationship you had? How did things get so bad or fall apart? Even best friends never agree with every important thing or values!

THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO RIGHT.U SEE COUPLES AND THEY SAY THEY DO NT QUARREL I LAUGH COS THEY ARE JUST PRETENDING, THEN ONE DAY NA BIGG FITE. TELL THEY ELDERS IN YOUR CHURCH AND THEY WILL SOLVE THE ISSUE.

I dont mind taking advise from friends regarding my relationship, the only thing i consider before doing so is if this friend in whom i solicit advise from, is in a serious relationship, i dont think anyone who is not or has never been in a serious relationship, is in the best position to give me advise regarding my relationship.

robin707:

I dont mind taking advise from friends regarding my relationship, the only thing i consider before doing so is if this friend in whom i solicit advise from, is in a serious relationship, i dont think anyone who is not or has never been in a serious relationship, is in the best position to give me advise regarding my relationship.

Does that mean those who have not been in any serious relationship can't give good relationship advice?

some men truly need sm1 to tlk to them cos smtimes they can be stupidly bullheaded

Family members have such long memories so telling them means you are ready to face the same questions over and over about your welfare even when you have settled your differences.Friends are a tricky business

@deniyor, my answer to your question is yes. With all due respect to those who have never been in a serious relationship. There's always a difference between talking the talk and walking the walk.

Nahh! Not me. Can't involve a third party esp girls cos they could be big-mouthed at times. Can't even involve my best friend cos one day she will betray me.

Chaaaan:

Nahh! Not me. Can't involve a third party esp girls cos they could be big-mouthed at times. Can't even involve my best friend cos one day she will betray me.

You don't even trust your own best friend?

Luvlee:

some men truly need sm1 to tlk to them cos smtimes they can be stupidly bullheaded

So are some women very stupidly stubborn. Has nothing to do with your sex.