Hi monie,
its nice to read a note directly from your heart,and i wonder about some myopic views also being posted .north, west,south,east the men are all the same some nice, some not too nice,some are woeful and some are not too perfect and ready to learn and some are just God made splendid everything a woman would wish above all is one who is God fearing.
Where you stay doesnt gurantee that you gona find someone nice,and that Nigerian men are not all monsters.however my status as bachelor does not qualify me to counsel you but i think we can both share honest views together,if you dont mind ?
I have some literatures that i can share with you that can make a difference.check my profile and mail me .
My uncle shared something with me i hold it valuable if you are intrested ?i will hear from you
Listen to your heart and hear God speak to you,then do what he says.

ciao

Sup monie,
  I think the problem is you not your mother or your white man. The problem is "you"

  If you want to meet a naija man, naija man don't just come up to Rhode island girl, you got to act mature, you need to attend naija weddings and more of naija reunions ok, naija churches. there are tons and tons of cool naija guys that are willing ready to date you but u got to be in places where they can see ya ok and l mean polished naija guys that are educated and speak polished English, igbo guys and yoruba guys even hausa guys of ministers sons . So take a vacation and leave Rhode Island ok ?

Don't forget that you are 27 years old and you know your egg is growing old and your time is ticking, you had better leave Rhode Island for real and move down to Newyork  , Texas, chicago, Maryland , DC, and Virginia where there are tons and tons of really sexy cute naija guys looking for ladies like you to marry ok. Stay blessed.

STAY COOL.

@Disney

I am not sure what your point was in that post? English is my second language, can you please explain urself again. I am not sure when she blamed her mum, or the white guy she is dating.

disney:

Sup monie,
I think the problem is you not your mother or your white man. The problem is "you"

If you want to meet a naija man, naija man don't just come up to Rhode island girl, you got to act mature, you need to attend naija weddings and more of naija reunions ok, naija churches. there are tons and tons of cool naija guys that are willing ready to date you but u got to be in places where they can see ya ok and l mean polished naija guys that are educated and speak polished English, igbo guys and yoruba guys even hausa guys of ministers sons . So take a vacation and leave Rhode Island ok ?

Don't forget that you are 27 years old and you know your egg is growing old and your time is ticking, you had better leave Rhode Island for real and move down to Newyork , Texas, chicago, Maryland , DC, and Virginia where there are tons and tons of really sexy cute naija guys looking for ladies like you to marry ok. Stay blessed.

STAY COOL.

What does maturity have to do with what monie wrote? If you want to diss her , why not do so straight up?

Ok I'm back. Wow. I was not expecting this many replies... I guess it's apparent that this is a touchy subject? Sheesh. Ok first things first. It was not my intention to offend Nigerian men in anyway. I was just pointing out that the kind of man that 'I' am looking for is not readily available to me in my area. If I have offended anyone with any of my comments, I apologize.

Second; somewhere along the line, the base subject of my post was misconstrued to the point that it is now... now I'm being given advice on where and how to find a Nigerian man. Thank you, I appreciate the efforts, but that'll do now. Allow me share something with you guys... As humans, we can do everything in our power to 'try' (key word being 'try') to make things happen... If those things aren't meant to be, all efforts are in vain.

@ Disney: Are you kidding? You suggest that I leave Rhode Island to go to Nigerian parties and Nigerian churches to meet 'polished' Nigerian men of different cultures? Really? Do you honestly think that's wise? For me to go (on a whim no less) to an entirely different state for the sole purpose of meeting a good man? These men (of my age range) who though they're so good and polished, have somehow managed to stay single? Oh, let's not forget 'sexy and cute' (if you'll re-read my post, you'll notice that I not ONCE mentioned 'looks' when I gave a description of what I was looking for) Hmm... *sigh*... I couldn't do that, I'm sorry. I don't see the logic in it... too many things could go wrong too quickly...  Oh, I'm also not sure what point it was that I blamed my mom or my boyfriend for anything...

Anyway!!! Here's the situation. It's frustrating to have to hear it from my mom all the time, but I can live with it... had I given things a lot of thought, I would not have put this post on here, because I wrote that in the heat of the moment while I was still upset. My boyfriend and I? We're good. He understands that I'm not from around here, and he respects me and my culture. He's more open minded than a lot of Nigerians I've met, because he's willing to try things out before he judges them. (That is not a dig at ANYONE... I'm just stating what I've noticed)... His family is awesome, and truthfully they've accepted me with wide open arms which is more than I can say about my family and him. (so much for tolerance and acceptance, huh?)  Occassionally we have what I like to call 'culture clashes', but we manage to get past them usually... what's a relationship anyway without compromise right?

Am I going to marry him? Truthfully, I don't know. I'm good with the way things are right now. Life is strange. We could break up within the next year, and then again, we could be married... who knows? If things don't work out and I happen to meet a Nigerian guy I'm compatible with, awesome... if not.. ah well.

Again @ Disney who chose to point out to me that "my egg is growing old"... I guess it's a good thing that not all women think like that, huh? Rush into LIFE LONG situations, because they feel their "eggs are growing old"? I'm good, thank you for the pointer though. I'll remember that the next time I see a 30 year old have a baby...  Also, the  'maturity' thing? That's honestly what you've been able to discern from my posts? That I'm 'immature'? really?!! Here's what you should do... go back to the beginning of the posts, read my post over again (as thoroughly as you can), think about it,  then try to figure out a word that would be much more appropriate than 'immature'... Geez!

I think that's it... If anyone on here is offended, do accept my apologies. It was meant to be a harmless old rant.

lol...monie chill out...welcome to NL.

Sup monie,
  I know how you feel especially if its your mother that is making u feel that way. Well, didnt mean to be harsh but don't forget we are Nigerians not akata and l like speaking reality not child's play. you feeling me, 100% of Nigerian girls end up not marrying the so called white guys they date and still end up marrying a nigerian guy. It's better you start socializing now than when you start clocking thirties, for real u need to leave Rhode Island but take it easy though. It is well


NB: Don't forget, a naija guy isn't just going to fly from no where and come meet you in ur lonely island, you have to be in places where u can be found ok. Am not a love psychologist but l usually advice many of my girlfriends like you and they follow my advice and today they are all dating naija guys. So its ur choice ok.

@Disney

U must be a very uptight and rude person. You are not making sense. I am not sure "IF YOU HAVE READ HER POST AT ALL"? You need to shut up and read, then type. For God's sake, you say you don't mean to be mean and you are advicing her on something irrelevant to her point. Please read b4 you type. She is NOT one of your girlfriends, she was just venting and "HER MUM IS NOT FRUSTRATING HER".You are dictating to her what you feel is right, you are not making sense. Who told you that Nigerian girls don't marry white. My own sister is 100%NIGERIAN AND HER HUSBAND IS JAPANESE. I have a friend she is Igbo and her husband is white and she is pregnant with her second kid. Please take your shallow views and shelve them. Ignorant statements to your fellow Naija girl makes you sound like a "Hater"


Kid got Kokscity steaming

JESUS!!!!

@ Disney

U are definitely not a Love Psychologist. Please do not quit your day Job.

@Disney

I am sorry for your girlfriends that "all followed your advice". I wish i could tell them to follow their Hearts. If you have the credibility of an Infomercial. I personally would cross check everything you say if i were your friend. Lame a$s statements require similar responses. U are seriously lacking something there honey!

So many people on this thread said Nigerian guys (in Yankee ?) have issues and so monie should stick with her white boy friend.
Question is what are these issues ?
Is it that the Nigerian guys there are "useless" and when did they become useless ?After they left Nigeria or while they were still in our country ?

Monie keep your standards ,they are not hard to find such in a Nigerian man.
I don't want to blow my trumpet or sound vain but I meet and surpass those qualities you mentined and it is not as if i am perfect .It just that the world has turned upside down with all these thrash that people now think it is impossible to find a guy who loves reading (i love reading,read mags and novels regularly),speaks good English(have been doing that perfeectly since I was a kid),watch TV(do that regularly,even this afternoon),lives quietly(that's one reason i hate Lagos.I love the quiet life) and have a good job(yes I do have such,if working as an Engineer with multinational firm qualifies for a good job) so what da heck !

Just keep your standards and pray and God will lead you to the right person.

@Topic

Disney said and i quote:" 100% OF NIGERIAN GIRLS END UP NOT MARRYING THE SO CALLED WHITE GUY"

No People i want you all to know that "Disney just lied". I have names and addresses of Nigerian and Caucasian couples in my area. Officially Disney can be called a "Liar". Or let us say she likes Exaggerating. She can also be called Shallow, Myopic, Ignorant and str8 up dumb and those will all pass the smell test.

@ kokscity

@Topic

Disney said and i quote:" 100% OF NIGERIAN GIRLS END UP NOT MARRYING THE SO CALLED WHITE GUY"

No People i want you all to know that "Disney just lied". I have names and addresses of  Nigerian and Caucasian couples in my area. Officially Disney can be called a "Liar". Or let us say she likes Exaggerating. She can also be called Shallow, Myopic, Ignorant and str8 up dumb and those will all pass the smell test.

 

Please kokscity it is enough.No need to insult the girl in public.We are bothers and sisters.We may offend one another sometimes  but it is not enough to publicly insult or wash our dirty inen in public.
Sheath your sword and live Disney alone.Bury the hatchet please and let us live in peace. One Love !!

@Funloving

If you say so, i will stop. But if she brings it again, then i will bring it too.

Capish?

kokcity, u no well, l wonder what kind of of naija man u be, u be the kind of man girls go de run away from, u need deliverance from your big mouth . for real , u need prayers and fasting and u need to be a student in my psychology school ok. bye.

@monie, life na choice. best of luck.

@Disney

You are one of those girls that are into hearing themselves talk. You are a self loathing,egocentric, flawed young woman. U have the nerve to advice people on how not to date white people, and you end you last post with "Life is a choice"

DaaaaHHHHhhhh!!!

If you knew life was a choice, then why the hell are you tell a 27 year old woman that her relationship with a white man has a 100% failure rate. And you have the magic tongue of an advice, which has worked for all your friends. You must be a slow, fresh off the boat Nigerian woman. In 2006 WE HAVE IGNORANT NIGERIANS STILL RUNNING THIS BS. I know your type and i know how to approach you all. Keep bringing it............
Don't PM me just bring it here.

Kokscity has just Rolled up his sleeves.......
Funloving she was warned.

You two should not act this way. This topic is meant to help the original poster resolve certain questions she has, not for people to begin insulting each other. Your negativity is not helping her case so please take it elsewhere. Let's keep the peace.

Monie, naija men that fits your descriptions plenty repete, even, in Rody. Dem boku for MA, which is less than 20 miles North of RI; in CT, which is about 15 Miles from RI, depending on your entry point from RI. I'm sure you are familiar with these places.
Come to think of it, there are so many eligible naija men who are going through the same thing you are going through now.

Its guys like you "kokcity" that made monie still singe at 27.

Grow up

Come kokcity and disney, why have u both chosen this thread as a medium of exchanging your grieviances. U have hijacked the thread from monie and thrown it in a different direction. Pls u both should get a room and cool off. Aight!!!

@ Disney

Please she is not single @ 27. She just explained that she is in a relationship.I am not sure why you disregard the dude she is a relationship with. The Guy is white, not Nigerian we know, but she is still in a relationship with him. I hope we all can read here?

Wow!!!!
Na wa for some 9JA chics. I am starting to worry about some people...... Well English is not our first language, so i do not expect everyone to be good at it.

Hell! i have some problems with the Language myself. But i thank God i can at least read and comprehend basic English.

hey monie, just wondering why you think your relationship with your white boyfriend can't work. i am of the oppinion that the more u keep dwelling on the "it may break up" idea and "i need to have a naija guy" backup plan you are already planning to let your relationship hit the rocks. is the guy giving you hints he's not likely to marry you? You said his family welcomed you with open arms, what else do you want? how sure are you that he's not the guy God plans for you to spend the rest of your life with? Have you talked about marriage with the guy and he baulked at the idea?
Why must you marry a nigerian guy?

i am a nigerian in a relationship with a white girl, her family is totally ok with it though we have our once in a while culture differences but the truth is we are willing to make compromises where they shld be made and make the relationship a huge success.
Don't let those who decieve you that nigerian guys are necessarily better than your white boyfriend. Sit down, have a good talk about your fears and insecurities with him and settle them together. no point being in a relationship and seeking to find another one as a standby generator. The last nigerian i dated was one of the "mills and boon" type of love girl, more in love with love than me, here is a white girl i'm dating who spends hours practicing how to say my nigerian names (and i've got 5), sits down to watch the food channel in search of nigerian foods and actually just got an african cookery book just so she can learn nigerian foods.

What else will a nigerian girl do that she's not doing (apologies to nigerian girls oon this thread), as for me and my girl, we dey kampe!!!!

stay with your bros!!

@ everybody i did say something bout nigerian guys having issues and i am sorry ... please forgive me... and i just want to remind u nigerian guys that i might have offend, that u nigerian guys r so sexy...

@ david,
I fear u ooooooo , once u get your green card , u go de run village go look for naija babe. sha, na wa o take it softly softly , not because the girl don promise u american citizenship , u come de say u go marry , abeg jo, go sit down somewhere. u just de waste the chick time, go watch this movie "This america" and u go know say khaki no be leather.

@ kokcity, pls, take it easy o concerning the english thing , l sabi english infact not because l de write like this for naira land mean say l no sabi english, am in a top university so dont say what u don't know abeg o. l come to nairaland to catch my fun and love to u monie

disney:

@ david,
I fear u ooooooo , once u get your green card , u go de run village go look for naija babe. sha, na wa o take it softly softly , not because the girl don promise u american citizenship , u come de say u go marry , abeg jo, go sit down somewhere. u just de waste the chick time, go watch this movie "This america" and u go know say khaki no be leather.

@ kokcity, please, take it easy o concerning the english thing , l sabi english infact not because l de write like this for naira land mean say l no sabi english, am in a top university so don't say what u don't know abeg o. l come to nairaland to catch my fun and love to u monie

read your post from begining to the end and i find it absurd that u failed to make any sense to me! Sorry, but i'm not one of your brothers who is here running after white girls simply becos of a green card. I do not need one from any american girl, sorry to break your heart. Did i say the girl promised me a green card? wow! u don't make sense at all!
The fact that most nigerian guys are not looking your way does not mean you shld run down every other nigerian with your mouth, pls don't say what u don't know. u neither know me nor the girl involved, if u have no other productive posts, pls keep quiet!

@ david,
  Please, please who told you that naija guys not looking my ways, infact there's a line waiting, the truth is u failed to read my post before arriving at conclusion. thanks.

why won't girls like monie still be searching for naija guys when the attitude u and kokcity are protraying is scary l wonder how your white chicks are surviving u guys.. Thank ur God say u no date naija chick cos ............

ok, sheath the swords. sorry i got carried away. what exactly is your point since i can't figure it out from your post?

davidylan:

hey monie, just wondering why you think your relationship with your white boyfriend can't work. i am of the oppinion that the more u keep dwelling on the "it may break up" idea and "i need to have a naija guy" backup plan you are already planning to let your relationship hit the rocks. is the guy giving you hints he's not likely to marry you? You said his family welcomed you with open arms, what else do you want? how sure are you that he's not the guy God plans for you to spend the rest of your life with? Have you talked about marriage with the guy and he baulked at the idea?
Why must you marry a nigerian guy?

i am a nigerian in a relationship with a white girl, her family is totally ok with it though we have our once in a while culture differences but the truth is we are willing to make compromises where they shld be made and make the relationship a huge success.
Don't let those who decieve you that nigerian guys are necessarily better than your white boyfriend. Sit down, have a good talk about your fears and insecurities with him and settle them together. no point being in a relationship and seeking to find another one as a standby generator. The last nigerian i dated was one of the "mills and boon" type of love girl, more in love with love than me, here is a white girl i'm dating who spends hours practicing how to say my nigerian names (and i've got 5), sits down to watch the food channel in search of nigerian foods and actually just got an african cookery book just so she can learn nigerian foods.

What else will a nigerian girl do that she's not doing (apologies to nigerian girls oon this thread), as for me and my girl, we dey kampe!!!!

stay with your bros!!

Hey there... Um.. I never said I was 'certain' that it wouldn't work with my boyfriend and I... We're good. We've been together for 3 years now, and everything is as it should be. I don't have a back-up, and I'm not looking for one. Again, I was just ranting. I had just gotten off the phone with my mom, and I was pissed... He eats our food, he understands some of the language, and can say my names as fluently as I can... I'm not looking for a Nigerian man for now or later... I was just trying to let out some steam....

Truthfully, its amazing how off base this entire post has gotten, and if I could delete it, I would... It was NOT my intention to start some sort of mini arguement or anything like that... I don't like to put myself out there, but for lack of anything better, I'll do it... Go to sdreader.com, look to the left, click on 'blogworld', and you'll see most of my story... really. Hopefully that should convince everyone that I'm happy with my life and I was just venting... Sheesh guys, keep the peace.

Disney

I hope you are paying your own way thru that top university. You would be wasting someone else's money if that was the case. You speak in circles and are not able to make clear points or any common sense. My sister if you do not know what to say, please do yourself a favor and zip it. U are embarrassing yourself with your offbase comments.

Your comments do not have a head or tail. You just "GO"!

kokcity as l said earlier on , guys like u need deliverance.

pixiraver: I believe it is better u get married to a Nigerian where your roots can be preserved not marrying a white knowing that your leg wont step into Nigeria as u want.

Uh.. of what benefit is this "preservation of roots" you speak of? I fail to get this concept. Everyone is a human being. And of course, if you believe in the Bible, everyone is a flippin' descendant of Adam and Eve! So yeah, your point is?

Why must you marry a nigerian guy?

LOL... pressure from her mom

@disney: I think you just need to sit down, relax, and think, before posting. Just my opinion. Not getting involved with anything here.

@monie: Yeah, uh... the topic of your first post is kinda misleading, don't you think?