₦airaland Forum

sapien:
Good evening, Romancelanders. It's quite a lengthy read, so bear with me.

This lady and I have been dating for the past 4 years, and I am planning on making it official later this year, though Covid-19 made my finances quite complicated recently, but things are getting back in shape.

Recently, specifically over 2 weeks ago, she suddenly stopped picking my calls. Prior to that, we haven't seen each other since September last year. She always comes up with one excuses or the other every weekend whenever I tell her to come over to my place or if I want to go over to her place to see her. I always have busy schedules during the midweek, so we usually have only weekends to see each other.

I have gone to see her mother and her siblings last year. They accepted me as a prospective in-law. The mum said she queried her daughter and she told her that I was the one she would like to spend the rest of her life with, hence the mum's invitation. Her mum usually calls me from time to time, and I do talk to her, too.

Couple of days back, I had to call the mum to report her daughter to her regarding the uncharacteristic change in her daughter's behaviour, and how, despite living in the same city, we haven't seen each other in 4 months, and how she has refused picking my calls in more than 2 weeks.

She promised to talk to her and ask her what the problem was and get back to me. I waited for some couple of days, but when I didn't see the mum's call, I had to call her back. I had to ask her to give her daughter her phone so I could talk to her and ask her some salient questions regarding our relationship. She kept saying there is no problem and that I didn't offend her, and our relationship is still standing strong. I asked if she was going through some personal issues that she could share with me and we might find a solution; she said she was perfectly okay. We settled our issues right there and then, and she promised to call back the second day.

I waited for the second day and I did not see her call. I had no choice than to call her back. Ladies and gentlemen, this girl didn't pick my calls. When she eventually picked after multiple missed calls, she was talking to someone else, while my airtime was burning out. I became enraged. I had to call the mum the second day to tell her I was no longer interested in the daughter, that she was probably seeing someone else, and she didn't have the guts to tell me.

The mum swore that her daughter is not seeing someone else, as far as she knows, and that she hasn't brought anyone to meet her. The mum is a Deeper Lifer, and from my interactions with her, she doesn't condone two-timing. She promised to talk to her daughter, that maybe we should give ourselves more time, like taking a break for a couple of months.

I am not usually this patient, and never condoned negligence and disregard in my previous relationships. However, this girl had been special to me, prior to her negligence. She was quite dedicated to me during the course of our 4-year-old relationship. She was never demanding, and was contented and altruistic, too. She helped me many times in the past, financially, whenever I was broke, and I always repaid her back, too. She was a wife material, and loved by my family as well.

The questions are;

1. Do I disregard the mum's advice?

2. Do I still give this girl another chance after her blatant negligence?

Mods, you might do well by moving this piece to the front page.

lefulefu:
she has probably seen a better offer

nexttag:
Bro move on the girl is gone

sapien:
Good evening, Romancelanders. It's quite a lengthy read, so bear with me.

This lady and I have been dating for the past 4 years, and I am planning on making it official later this year, though Covid-19 made my finances quite complicated recently, but things are getting back in shape.

Recently, specifically over 2 weeks ago, she suddenly stopped picking my calls. Prior to that, we haven't seen each other since September last year. She always comes up with one excuses or the other every weekend whenever I tell her to come over to my place or if I want to go over to her place to see her. I always have busy schedules during the midweek, so we usually have only weekends to see each other.

I have gone to see her mother and her siblings last year. They accepted me as a prospective in-law. The mum said she queried her daughter and she told her that I was the one she would like to spend the rest of her life with, hence the mum's invitation. Her mum usually calls me from time to time, and I do talk to her, too.

Couple of days back, I had to call the mum to report her daughter to her regarding the uncharacteristic change in her daughter's behaviour, and how, despite living in the same city, we haven't seen each other in 4 months, and how she has refused picking my calls in more than 2 weeks.

She promised to talk to her and ask her what the problem was and get back to me. I waited for some couple of days, but when I didn't see the mum's call, I had to call her back. I had to ask her to give her daughter her phone so I could talk to her and ask her some salient questions regarding our relationship. She kept saying there is no problem and that I didn't offend her, and our relationship is still standing strong. I asked if she was going through some personal issues that she could share with me and we might find a solution; she said she was perfectly okay. We settled our issues right there and then, and she promised to call back the second day.

I waited for the second day and I did not see her call. I had no choice than to call her back. Ladies and gentlemen, this girl didn't pick my calls. When she eventually picked after multiple missed calls, she was talking to someone else, while my airtime was burning out. I became enraged. I had to call the mum the second day to tell her I was no longer interested in the daughter, that she was probably seeing someone else, and she didn't have the guts to tell me.

The mum swore that her daughter is not seeing someone else, as far as she knows, and that she hasn't brought anyone to meet her. The mum is a Deeper Lifer, and from my interactions with her, she doesn't condone two-timing. She promised to talk to her daughter, that maybe we should give ourselves more time, like taking a break for a couple of months.

I am not usually this patient, and never condoned negligence and disregard in my previous relationships. However, this girl had been special to me, prior to her negligence. She was quite dedicated to me during the course of our 4-year-old relationship. She was never demanding, and was contented and altruistic, too. She helped me many times in the past, financially, whenever I was broke, and I always repaid her back, too. She was a wife material, and loved by my family as well.

The questions are;

1. Do I disregard the mum's advice?

2. Do I still give this girl another chance after her blatant negligence?

Mods, you might do well by moving this piece to the front page.

mibrims:
I had a similar experience back in 2018
Been dating her since 2014 and in 2018 during our nysc in same state everything changed
Bro jst move on already, even if she makes a U turn as u pray. Don’t take her back
A broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage. Be a man and delete everything about her. U will thank me later
All the best bro

sapien:
Good evening, Romancelanders. It's quite a lengthy read, so bear with me.

This lady and I have been dating for the past 4 years, and I am planning on making it official later this year, though Covid-19 made my finances quite complicated recently, but things are getting back in shape.

Recently, specifically over 2 weeks ago, she suddenly stopped picking my calls. Prior to that, we haven't seen each other since September last year. She always comes up with one excuses or the other every weekend whenever I tell her to come over to my place or if I want to go over to her place to see her. I always have busy schedules during the midweek, so we usually have only weekends to see each other.

I have gone to see her mother and her siblings last year. They accepted me as a prospective in-law. The mum said she queried her daughter and she told her that I was the one she would like to spend the rest of her life with, hence the mum's invitation. Her mum usually calls me from time to time, and I do talk to her, too.

Couple of days back, I had to call the mum to report her daughter to her regarding the uncharacteristic change in her daughter's behaviour, and how, despite living in the same city, we haven't seen each other in 4 months, and how she has refused picking my calls in more than 2 weeks.

She promised to talk to her and ask her what the problem was and get back to me. I waited for some couple of days, but when I didn't see the mum's call, I had to call her back. I had to ask her to give her daughter her phone so I could talk to her and ask her some salient questions regarding our relationship. She kept saying there is no problem and that I didn't offend her, and our relationship is still standing strong. I asked if she was going through some personal issues that she could share with me and we might find a solution; she said she was perfectly okay. We settled our issues right there and then, and she promised to call back the second day.

I waited for the second day and I did not see her call. I had no choice than to call her back. Ladies and gentlemen, this girl didn't pick my calls. When she eventually picked after multiple missed calls, she was talking to someone else, while my airtime was burning out. I became enraged. I had to call the mum the second day to tell her I was no longer interested in the daughter, that she was probably seeing someone else, and she didn't have the guts to tell me.

The mum swore that her daughter is not seeing someone else, as far as she knows, and that she hasn't brought anyone to meet her. The mum is a Deeper Lifer, and from my interactions with her, she doesn't condone two-timing. She promised to talk to her daughter, that maybe we should give ourselves more time, like taking a break for a couple of months.

I am not usually this patient, and never condoned negligence and disregard in my previous relationships. However, this girl had been special to me, prior to her negligence. She was quite dedicated to me during the course of our 4-year-old relationship. She was never demanding, and was contented and altruistic, too. She helped me many times in the past, financially, whenever I was broke, and I always repaid her back, too. She was a wife material, and loved by my family as well.

The questions are;

1. Do I disregard the mum's advice?

2. Do I still give this girl another chance after her blatant negligence?

Mods, you might do well by moving this piece to the front page.

mibrims:
I had a similar experience back in 2018
Been dating her since 2014 and in 2018 during our nysc in same state everything changed
Bro jst move on already, even if she makes a U turn as u pray. Don’t take her back
A broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage. Be a man and delete everything about her. U will thank me later
All the best bro

Michelle55:
Move on.. If she still desires the relationship she will come back to you but until then refrain from chasing her.
It might be a hard decision due to the 4years you guys have spent together but you just have to enter airplane mode for your sanity sake.

I no dey do pass myself, if I see that a relationship ain't working out anymore I take a long walk no matter the number of years I might have been with the person, my sanity and peace of mind over anything first, I hate drama and I certainly can't condole one.

You might see my approach as being selfish and hard hearted but that's how I've trained my heart to be. If it's not working out, bro/sis it's not. Let go!!

If truly you are meant to be, you will definitely end up together as one so don't fret over it.

Don't try finding someone who doesn't want to be found!!!

Olakunleyakub:
You have low self esteem.

A lady of 4 years is not willing to talk to you for the past 4months despite living in the same city and you are still asking for advice.

Follow this my rules and have peace of mind
Rule1
Never love any woman to the extent of loosing your self or self worth except your mother not even your legally married wife
Rule2
Be honest, kind, loyal, trust, respect and be patient with your woman but always be ready to leave when the relationship has no positive direction again
Rule 3
In marriage or relationship your sanity and peace of mind comes first above love or any other things
Rule4
Never compromise in whatever you do till the end of the time.

Dump the lady assap and work more on yourself...if she truly loves she will comes back and if not that means she is not the right partner for you.

Cheers!!

Bola146:
I'm just speechless! Giving excuses, hummmm... 4 years relationship Despite living in the same town She is seeing someone else, maybe your communication went bad, she got another guy communicating with her, most ladies like good communication, maybe you ignore her warnings. She is definitely hiding something from you, she can't just changed suddenly, there is a smoke. Go and see her one on one and talk things out. Her mother can't choose for her, don't depend on her promise.

sapien:
Good evening, Romancelanders. It's quite a lengthy read, so bear with me.

This lady and I have been dating for the past 4 years, and I am planning on making it official later this year, though Covid-19 made my finances quite complicated recently, but things are getting back in shape.

Recently, specifically over 2 weeks ago, she suddenly stopped picking my calls. Prior to that, we haven't seen each other since September last year. She always comes up with one excuses or the other every weekend whenever I tell her to come over to my place or if I want to go over to her place to see her. I always have busy schedules during the midweek, so we usually have only weekends to see each other.

I have gone to see her mother and her siblings last year. They accepted me as a prospective in-law. The mum said she queried her daughter and she told her that I was the one she would like to spend the rest of her life with, hence the mum's invitation. Her mum usually calls me from time to time, and I do talk to her, too.

Couple of days back, I had to call the mum to report her daughter to her regarding the uncharacteristic change in her daughter's behaviour, and how, despite living in the same city, we haven't seen each other in 4 months, and how she has refused picking my calls in more than 2 weeks.

She promised to talk to her and ask her what the problem was and get back to me. I waited for some couple of days, but when I didn't see the mum's call, I had to call her back. I had to ask her to give her daughter her phone so I could talk to her and ask her some salient questions regarding our relationship. She kept saying there is no problem and that I didn't offend her, and our relationship is still standing strong. I asked if she was going through some personal issues that she could share with me and we might find a solution; she said she was perfectly okay. We settled our issues right there and then, and she promised to call back the second day.

I waited for the second day and I did not see her call. I had no choice than to call her back. Ladies and gentlemen, this girl didn't pick my calls. When she eventually picked after multiple missed calls, she was talking to someone else, while my airtime was burning out. I became enraged. I had to call the mum the second day to tell her I was no longer interested in the daughter, that she was probably seeing someone else, and she didn't have the guts to tell me.

The mum swore that her daughter is not seeing someone else, as far as she knows, and that she hasn't brought anyone to meet her. The mum is a Deeper Lifer, and from my interactions with her, she doesn't condone two-timing. She promised to talk to her daughter, that maybe we should give ourselves more time, like taking a break for a couple of months.

I am not usually this patient, and never condoned negligence and disregard in my previous relationships. However, this girl had been special to me, prior to her negligence. She was quite dedicated to me during the course of our 4-year-old relationship. She was never demanding, and was contented and altruistic, too. She helped me many times in the past, financially, whenever I was broke, and I always repaid her back, too. She was a wife material, and loved by my family as well.

The questions are;

1. Do I disregard the mum's advice?

2. Do I still give this girl another chance after her blatant negligence?

Mods, you might do well by moving this piece to the front page.

Dreyton36:
Guy I understand this kinda situation you're in

Listen carefully if you like ooo

You see that girl ehn , forget about her abs hustle ,cmake money bro
There is someone out there who's better and she's waiting for you

I can swear with my gbola that girl is hanging out with another guy

And she's got a female friend who she looks up to , and it's that female friend who's making her act this way

Love is sweet o , when there's money the love is sweeter

You don't wanna spend the rest of your life with a woman who isn't truthful, and the mum don't walk around with her to know if she's following men or not

Observe closely , even her mother will listen more to the girl than you

Stop calling the mother and see if she will call you , I bet she won't lol

Guy forget about relationship for now , and hey don't even try to engage yourself I any relationship for now , that's not how to move on bruh
You'll only keep having issues with ur new girl cuz you've not moved on, you'll have trust issues with her

The goal is to double up ur hustle bruh

Las Las girls like that na yeye men Dem dey fall for and not the ones that love them, later on na their crew of useless idiots they say " all men are the same"

E go shock u say that ur girl sef go like her mama pass her papa well we'll , do ur observation

Or you can give her social media details to any cute guy who's got little cash in your area and tell him to woo her , E go shock you say that babe wey no they pick ur call naim go they disturb the guy with calls all day


Lights up my kpoli in peace

valentineuwakwe:
@sapien....I will call you two times, make you call yourself the third time!


you live in the same city and since September till now you have seen your woman, something is not right here! The truth is that she is seeing someone else and don't know how to tell you..she is playing to the gallery if the new guy will propose to her first before you do n if not she will come begging in tears to forgive her. ...
make out time on a Sunday evening to go see her...just go to her place n talk things straight..if she is still unchanged let her be..immediately call her mum for the last time n tell her its over.....don't call the woman again or pick her calls.no be the mama you dey marry!

It maybe hard for you to let go after 4years but its better things are happening this way...focus now n set out, better ladies are waiting for you now so Make the move n make yourself happy again!

cheers

zealousayo:
All this 'talk things out' stuff always annoys me. What's there in this matter to talk out? How will he see someone that's deliberately avoiding him to talk things out? It's obvious the lady is no longer interested in the relationship, so he moved on. They are not meant to be.

Bola146:
It means he doesn't love the lady if he can find time to talk to her one on one, 4 years relationship to be thrown away just like that Haba now, so he know she resides or works? He can't just find time to check what is happening Maybe the lady warned him about lack of good communication and this guy didn't listen, now he has her time, Love is a sacrifice and total commitment! If you can't, it's a total madness. It doesn't mean they are not meant to be.