Thanks for all your words of wisdom. I sincerely get d sides u'r coming from.
Av tried d iron hand thang (placing him on a diet wheneva am around) but he jst goes out and gets whatever food he wants. Den i told him at the rate he's blowin up, no more intimacy very soon. He said i was becomin a nag.
I mean d whole thin's a big joke 2 him, he does weird belly dance/jiggles for me nwadays wen i complain about his weight. I know its meant to make me smile, but I dont find it funny.
He likes chasing me around the house, yelling 'big daddy's comin for you' and i run and dodge rily hard because i sincerely don't want to b caught for anoda dose of punishment + afta the chase he's rily sweaty and he's wheezin, literily out of breath, and dats not sexy at all. (the chase is about d only exercise he gets).
Den wen we're done bein intimate, he lyks 2 lay on me quietly for a few seconds and am usually jst strugglin to push him off. Its a nightmare, i tell you.
Mayb its d smoke he quit, as a certain nice gurl put it.
(thank goodness he abhors social forums, so i cud giv y'all a picture of how things rily are).
I love him, i dont want to lose him. Bt am rily bein affected here. Am at my wits end.

Exercise, dieting, liposuction?

Or you could get fat too so you match

@ekt-bear
dieting hasnt bn successful. Get fat to match? Duh!

divalishis:

tnx for all your words of wisdom. I sincerely get d sides where u'r coming from.
Av tried d iron hand thang (placing him on a diet wheneva am around) but he jst goes out and gets what he wants. Den i told him at the rate he's blowin, no more intimacy very soon. He said i was becomin a nag.
I mean d whole thin's a big joke 2 him, he does weird belly dance/jiggles for me nwadays wen i complain. I kno its meant to make me smile, but I dont find it funny.
He likes chasing me around the house, yelling 'big daddy's comin for you' and i run and dodge rily hard because i sincerely don't want to b caught for anoda dose of punishment + afta the chase he's rily sweaty and he's wheezin, literily out of breath, and dats not sexy at all. (the chase is about d only exercise he gets).
Den wen we're done bein intimate, he lyks 2 lay on me quietly for a few seconds and am usually jst strugglin to push him off. Its a nightmare, i tell you.
Mayb its d smoke he quit, as a certain nice gurl put it.
(thank goodness he abhors social forums, so i cud giv y'all a picture of how things rily are).
I love him, i dont want to lose him. Bt am rily bein affected here. Am at my wits end.

You are sooo hilarious

Mrs. Diva I'm very certain it's the quitting that led to the weight gain. Remember, in the 1950s and 1960s, smoking was fashionable, especially for women as it was said to make/keep them slim. Most people that quit smoking gain weight as a side effect.

I applaud him really. Smoking is a horrible thing and quitting is very difficult. If before the weight gain he was great, then give him a chance. Why did he quit anyway? If he quit for health issues, then you should point out the new health issues he faces as an obese black man (I'm assuming he's black). Heart disease, heart attack, and diabetes are just a few.

Breaking the relationship is not the best option. If said you love this guy, you should help him out.
What if you guys were married before he traveled abroad would you divorce him just because he
is obese?

If both u of u love each other and want to make urselves happy, then u need to take a bold step, meet a specialist let him be put on a routine excercise and other therapeutics. except he is not willing to do anything about it, meaning he does'nt care about how u feel.
Personally i dont like fat Joes

Girl, your descriptive narration: ant and elephant, lately the bedroon chase and belly dance; just fccking hilarious - sorry, not laughing at you but just the situation

Mehn, I feel you cos I am also in a similar predicament.
Yes, appearance is a big factor (I am a visual guy) the consequence of which is I am now developing wandering eyes and having wicked thoughts, towards this lepacious Hausa chick who just moved to my area (kai, dey babe nawa oo), but I dey fear Aboki

@ Poster
Please choose to be happy: whether staying with your guy or moving on - whatever makes you happy, goodluck

I dont know how to mince words.
Dump him fast! Thank God u are not married! Belly dancing!?!

''Come to big daddy?!?'' (wheeze, wheeze)

He will soon start smelling, farting in his sleep and snoring!
Forget the crap about ''inner beauty'', It does not work for us all.

The guy has gone to over eat Mcdonalds!

There is no hope, he will only get fatter. The picture u painted is tragic! Bail out baby.
U gat only one life.

@adonisgold, u r funny, mehn! He he he!!!
@tashanja, feel u dude. Dis diva writer is freakin hilarious. She a funny babe, i tel ya

heavy g:

@adonisgold, u r funny, mehn! He he he!!!
@tashanja, feel u dude. Dis diva writer is freakin hilarious. She a funny babe, i tel ya

Heavy G, my point exactly.

A babe with that kind of sense of humour deserves better.

miss diva, wher u @
u gat guys al rootin 4 u here. N if u decide 2 free ur guy, i tink sm guyz here wont mind takin his spot. He he he!
*dayum, i tink i nid me a chick who cud make me laff lyk dis 1. My current woman's hassling da heck outta me

ahahahahahaha

hilarious!!! ooooooo

OK if you want him this is what you do:

YOU GO TO THE GYM
YOU WORK OUT

monkey see, monkey do (men are visual creatures)

Let him know that a house divided falls and that YOU NEED him in shape at all times the laughing and joking is OVER.

Stop being complacent, you aren't doing enough - it's not your job to select food or block him from getting to food because that is a waste of time, as you saw - because men know when you are serious and they know when you aren't - you aren't serious and he knows it.  Get serious and don't give an inch.  His health and your sex life isn't a game.  

How are YOU ALLOWING this to continue?  Fight for your man - there are times when we women have to stand up against even our own mate - for the sake of our happiness in the relationship.  You fight for him - by getting yourself in the gym.  Walking, jogging, biking - let him see you doing YOU and he will follow if he wants you.

You have to give them what you want to see.  Treat yourself like you want him to treat you and don't budge an inch.  Work out - buy work out dvds and put them on - let him see you watching those - let him see you being interested in eating right and exercise on many different levels - in your conversation integrate sports and exercise that is rigorous.  Become engrossed in those areas where he can hear you and see you.  Have your girlfriends come over and go walking as a group - do it regularly - daily - don't invite him, don't incorporate - just let him see your swag.

It may take 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, even 6 months of you exercising while he watches from the sidelines - but TRUST ME - he will get off his fat azz - especially when he sees how the exercise is making you even more fit, more energized and more attractive to the opposite sex onlookers watching you while you are in his presence.  He will join you in your exercise routines as well as up the ante on his own program. There are very few people that enjoy being left behind in their own video.

Also, stop laying under him - as soon as lovemaking is over - push his fat azz over and let him know that you cannot handle this anymore - you can't breathe - that you love him but this is affecting your desire for sex.  Or let him know that starting April 15, 2011 - canine style or you on top, is his only option until he starts losing weight.

@ adonisgold - sooooooo true

Shy-One, Heavy g, Adonisgold, Tashanja, kandiikane, Ileke-IdI, Cantell, 190, SA Lady, Bhusayor.
PLS one of y'all tel me dis diva chik aint serious, i got issues bt dis chik made me break out in merry lafta!
Thank you DIVALISHIS!

@SHY-ONE
I lyk ur advise.

The funniest part is where she said "he just looks like somebody's daddy" and the ant and elephant description. Honestly love is no excuse to blow up. Physical appearance is also important but I am very such you ve not told him.

;d

divalishis:

[size=13pt]. Den i told him at the rate he's blowin, no more intimacy very soon. He said i was becomin a nag.
I mean d whole thin's a big joke 2 him, he does weird belly dance/jiggles for me nwadays wen i complain. I kno its meant to make me smile, but I dont find it funny.
He likes chasing me around the house, yelling 'big daddy's comin for you' and i run and dodge rily hard because i sincerely don't want to b caught for anoda dose of punishment + afta the chase he's rily sweaty and he's wheezin, literily out of breath, and dats not sexy at all. (the chase is about d only exercise he gets).
Den wen we're done bein intimate, he lyks 2 lay on me quietly for a few seconds and am usually jst strugglin to push him off. Its a nightmare, i tell you.[/size]

This is classic. One of the funniest things I've read on this forum.

                 

@OP, is your man by any chance nicknamed dayokanu ?

The reason why you fall for your bf its because you fall for him physically and not emotionally ans thats why when he changed form, you are feeling like this. It all comes to say that the love is not genuine. if one day he got caught in the fire and burn his face, Im sure you will leave him instantly

But if you are concern about his health, go onma sprts together with himn like say breeze walking or sumthin

Most people just seem preoccupied wit laughing. Its funny but at d same tym not so funny.
*Guess I made a big joke of everythin, sigh*

OH MY GOSH divalishish will you just dump your fat wheezy boyfriend and let's be done with it!!!! Lol, trust me if it was YOU weighing a few hundred pounds, he won't even blink b4 jilting ur fat arse!!! This is a health issue, he obviously doesn't value his life or else he'll take his overweight prob seriously. So I say, leave him!!

He does value his life. That's why he quit smoking. No one gives that stuff up for fun.

^^^Hmmmn cigarette addiction and food addiction are BOTH dangerous health risks. So if he can give up nicotine, then food will be easy as pie (nice pun eh )

Not really. Like I stated earlier, weight gain is a side effect of quitting smoking. He has cravings and doesn't know how to satisfy them properly. Food isn't the way, especially if it's unhealthy food.

divalishis:

tnx for all your words of wisdom. I sincerely get d sides where u'r coming from.
Av tried d iron hand thang (placing him on a diet wheneva am around) but he jst goes out and gets what he wants. Den i told him at the rate he's blowin, no more intimacy very soon. He said i was becomin a nag.
I mean d whole thin's a big joke 2 him, he does weird belly dance/jiggles for me nwadays wen i complain. I kno its meant to make me smile, but I dont find it funny.
He likes chasing me around the house, yelling 'big daddy's comin for you' and i run and dodge rily hard because i sincerely don't want to b caught for anoda dose of punishment + afta the chase he's rily sweaty and he's wheezin, literily out of breath, and dats not sexy at all. (the chase is about d only exercise he gets).
Den wen we're done bein intimate, he lyks 2 lay on me quietly for a few seconds and am usually jst strugglin to push him off. Its a nightmare, i tell you.
Mayb its d smoke he quit, as a certain nice gurl put it.
(thank goodness he abhors social forums, so i cud giv y'all a picture of how things rily are).
I love him, i dont want to lose him. Bt am rily bein affected here. Am at my wits end.

^^^Forget it, he is not going to loose the weight for as long as he find nothing wrong with it. You on the other hand are not helping, you seem a very nice and understanding person. Dont get me wrong am not insinuating that you should change on him, stay as sweet as you are. The best help you can offer this man is that you work on yourself. Go to gym and eat healthy and hope he follows your example.

Guys lets be honest, there's nothing worse than watching the one you love change into a shrek or fiona right before your eyes. Its a huge frustration.

So heres da latest;
me and BF had a date last night. And I told him there were some things I wasnt happy about, his weight and how it was impactin negatively on our relationship.
For the first time, my man really opened up to me and told me of how he wasnt comfortable in his own skin and how he feels, knowin I am usually around fit guys. We reconnected and I think you guys all made it possible because I dont think my previous talks with him were as deep as the last one. Starting from dat instant, we startd takin baby steps y'll. Am so happy cos I have a man who's generous, funny, tall and (soon to be) hunky!
THANX GUYS. Il let u know how its going!!!

, Hmnnn so sweet

I'm really happy for you and i hope it works out well.

I'd be patiently waiting for updates

Hmmn I knew u were never really going to dump him (e easy??) U just came to make us drink procold for ur fever . Anyway, as for turning him back into a "hunk", good luck with that. I would love to see how it goes

Yes, Poster, good-luck!
Make sure you keep us posted, maybe even a before and after photo (face edited to protect his identity).
Don't forget, we'll always be around to give you support in case he falters .

divalishis:

So heres da latest;
me and BF had a date last night. And I told him there were some things I wasnt happy about, his weight and how it was impactin negatively on our relationship.
For the first time, my man really opened up to me and told me of how he wasnt comfortable in his own skin and how he feels, knowin I am usually around fit guys. We reconnected and I think you guys all made it possible because I dont think my previous talks with him were as deep as the last one. Starting from dat instant, we startd takin baby steps y'll. Am so happy cos I have a man who's generous, funny, tall and (soon to be) hunky!
THANX GUYS. Il let u know how its going!!!

Good to hear that and all the best

But just to remind you that your bf cannot be a hunk forever. It will come to those days where he will grow old and have sagging skin and wrinkles and everything else.,

eyaaaa, makes me wanna cry. i hope this turns out to b a very happy ending