Trust Me, Something Fishy is Going On - PENDULUM BY DELE MOMODU

Fellow Nigerians let me start by saying that I hate conspiracy theories generally. The reason is simple. They are like superstitions. They are not capable of any logical, rational, scientific analysis or basis yet people have wholesale beliefs in them. They consider them to be true, even though they know they are stranger than fiction. It is almost impossible not to engage in all manner of guesswork, speculation and conjecture in Nigeria. The rumour-mill is one of the most vibrant, and sometimes lucrative, pastimes in our clime. Indeed, rumour mongering is a national pastime at which Nigerians excel and shine in all their glory. Nigeria is a country where all tales are believable, no matter how improbable!

Please, forgive me because I’m about to indulge in some high-level conspiracy theories myself. These particular theories have risen above the realm of mere conjecture to attain the level of first faction and then reality, because of the many times they have been avowed and disavowed and the blurring of falsehood, fake news and truth that has thus been occasioned. By the time I’m done, I’m sure you will understand my predicament and appreciate my acute frustration.

Just as much as the allegations of massive corruption levelled against the Jonathan government, the other major reason he was sacked as President was the spate of rising insecurity, insurgency and banditry in most parts of the country. The abduction of the young and innocent Chibok girls from their secondary school and the way they literally vamoosed from the surface of the earth was like the last straw that broke the camel’s back and it obviously helped to quicken the downfall of that government at the polls. It was impossible not to view the government as irredeemably clueless from that moment onwards. The hype and media frenzy generated by the incident, and the blame and guilt laid at the doorstep of the forlorn, gormless and doomed government, was so huge that it soon became a global fad, with national and international celebrities and human rights activists falling over themselves to show solidarity for the plight of the girls and their helpless and hapless families.

Today, I’m now reasonably convinced that the entire melodrama was meticulously planned and masterfully executed in order for some people to paint President Goodluck Jonathan as pathetically incompetent, and the reason his government must be sacked urgently. I confess to believing the full narrative at the time, like most Nigerians, hence my almost fanatical support for Major General Muhammadu Buhari, in that sad period of our nascent democracy. I wish to express my sincere apologies once again for believing that tale by moonlight and for being amongst those who plunged Nigeria into this unmitigated disaster from which we may not fully recover in decades to come unless God decides to deliver us miraculously.

In 2015, when President Buhari assumed power, the insecurity was largely limited to the North East, around Borno/Adamawa axis. Of course, there were kidnappings, militancy and oil theft in the South South and South East, but these were not as bad as what was unfolding in the North East. If, at that time we thought that there was insecurity, it has certainly become child’s play when compared to what obtains today. Those who stoked and fanned the embers of insecurity in the North East for their nefarious political ends now realise that they have bitten more than they can chew. There is an Australian boomerang effect, and the plot and gambit has turned full circle. We are now in the situation where people are running with the hare and hunting with the hounds in order to curry the favour of the Government which seems to be shielding the bandits, insurgents and terrorists and things are simply just falling apart. It is now so bad that nobody can tell the difference as to who is chasing who, because these bandits and terrorists seem far better organised, disciplined and equipped than the Nigerian military.

As I write this, terrorists, insurgents and bandits have encircled Nigeria. While Boko Haram continues to wreak havoc with mathematical precision, in its traditional domains of the North East, other terrorists, warlords and supporters of APC have emerged in the Northwest and there are bandits in nearly every zone. They operate with so much confidence and gusto. They dare the authorities to come after them knowing, each time that there is a clash, it is the Nigerian military that is worse off with its nose proverbially bloodied!

The latest chapter of this macabre theatre, and most sordid period of our history, is that, under the nose and eyes of President Buhari, Boko Haram, has been elevated to the level of the Ijaw militants who were fighting to avenge the despoliation of their environment by the oil corporations. At least we knew what they were fighting for, just as we know what IPBO is fighting for even if we still have some flicker of hope in Nigeria. The difference with Boko Haram is that no one has explained their grievances to us. Rather, we are told and forced to treat them with the same awe and trepidation we accorded the Niger Delta militants without anyone detailing what Nigerians owed them in reality and imagination. The cheeky suggestion that the fight is against western education is absolute hogwash, and it just won’t wash!

This dangerous development of political machination and manipulation has been festering and engendered slowly, but surely and steadily, by using all manner of subterfuge to catch most of us unaware. Lately it has taken on frightening proportions whilst still being painted as if they are minor inconsequential skirmishes with an economic bias that we need not pay much heed to. Thus, in Zamfara, we were told it was a war for gold rush. In North Central, around Benue in particular, we were told it was a clash between farmers and Herdsmen. Many lives were wasted while the criminals easily bolted away, like artful dodgers. The Federal Government showed little or no empathy. Seeing the share number of the dead made my intestines spin around and I was dazed and dizzy as if in a tizzy.

In the meantime, we all buried our heads in the sand, telling ourselves, all of this was confined to the North and they dared not bring their wahala down south. We should have known better! Give anybody an inch and they will take a mile. Give this lot a little and they want all, because they know that they have the full and wholehearted support of the Presidency, in whose hands they are well protected.

Very soon though, from the Middlebelt, the insecurity navigated its way Southwards. If we thought it was a joke initially, the bandits left no one in doubt of their determination to show how ready they were to spread their campaign of hate and terror to every part of Nigeria. As terrible as the situation was, our President appeared unruffled and unfazed. Even when it became apparent that our security forces were failing spectacularly and falling catastrophically in the battlefield as if they were being struck down by daemons President Buhari still did not bat an eyelid. Truth be told, our military had fallen on bad times, and there was nobody at the helm, no Commander-in-Chief to give a rallying cry to the troops and be their focal point. Simply put the leadership had gone AWOL too! Despite the hues and cries of generality of Nigerians, the President blatantly refused to retire or sack his service chiefs, who had not only outlasted their tenures, but they had also outlived their usefulness. We wondered what the unholy pact was between them that made it impossible for the Commander-in-Chief to whip them into shape and line. That there is some kind of unholy covenant, a secret concordat between the Presidency and the erstwhile service chiefs is given fillip by the aberrant decision to give them a golden handshake by offering them ambassadorial postings as compensation for incredible failure.

As days climbed over months and months climbed over years, the situation deteriorated. And all we got for the unabated sorrows was the automated condolence message and futile promises that government was trying hard to fix the problems. But nothing was fixed. As we stand today, virtually all major tribes in Nigeria, minus, maybe, the Hausa/Fulani, are clamouring for self-determination, self-governance and, in extreme cases, their own stand-alone nations. The Igbo people of South East Nigeria are mostly united in their quest for a Biafra country, including those who do not share the same ideology with Mazi Nnamdi Kanu. You can’t blame them. President Buhari has shown them no mercy. At every opportunity, he sends his security forces with clear mandate and directive to crush any act of perceived, purported rebellion. Bizarre animalistic and reptilian names were given to the various military exercises that the armed forces used in terrorising and subjugating the people of this region. A true parody of the inhumane maltreatment of the people of the region. This would probably have been accepted, tolerated and endured if the attitude were the same elsewhere.

In the last few weeks, and as recent as two days ago, the Muslim cleric, Sheikh Gumi, has been seen strolling in and out of the forests where the bandits are comfortably ensconced, without any fear of attack or antagonism. In fact, the visits are now televised, and many are wondering what’s going on! In this same country, those who have not carried machine guns, Kalashnikovs and other weapons of mass destruction have been promptly declared persona non grata and dangerous criminals and terrorists by the Inspector General of Police and the Governor of the Central Bank, whose business it has now become to police the bank accounts of innocent protesters. Just imagine for a second a Pastor Enoch Adejare Adeboye entering a forest to negotiate with terrorists and the uproar it would generate worldwide.

So, some powerful, untouchable, inviolable Nigerians actually know the location of the terrorists. And the security forces also know the forests they reside in. I’ve been wondering what happened to our Air Force. Meaning, it is not that our own hawks can no longer capture chickens but some powerful people in government are not allowing them swing into action. It is well!

Can Sheikh Gumi do us a big favour please? Sir help us find out what would appease the bandits and terrorists so that we can get the sacrifice ready for the gods with feet of clay. Terrorism has become a competition here apparently. Many personalities now liken them to the Niger Delta militants. And since we set up an Amnesty Commission for them, let’s humbly do the same now and do so with immediate alacrity. Hopefully, this would calm the insurgents and terrorists down and protect the defenceless school kids who are being subjected to constant and incessant harassment by these hoodlums and bandits clothed in the false garb of devoted and devout jihadists, but who know nothing about the mission they profess to be carrying out.

As for the herdsmen, I don’t know if another Amnesty can be graciously arranged for them. And let them be banished to their Northern Nigeria where many are already accustomed to the itinerant tradition and custom. Too many problems have been generated by them while traveling long distances in the forests. The time has come to put a permanent stop to this archaic system of cattle rearing. I commend Governor Nasir El Rufai for embracing modern methods of cattle rearing. The budget for these herdsmen won’t be too different from the fertilizer bazaar, import duty waiver and oil subsidy bonanza that some influential Nigerians used to enjoy in the past. We can call it “herdsmen subsidy” for want of a better expression. In moments of dangerous madness, human lives must be protected with everything at our disposal. I suppose the Presidency will be extremely happy to extend the principle of federal character and proportionate distribution of the nation’s resources to assuage the feelings of these ill-judged innocent kinsmen of Mr President.

It is obvious to me that our security forces are not hopelessly lazy. They are only hampered, hindered and handicapped by circumstances beyond their control, but within the control of powerful others within the corridors of power.
My conspiracy theory is that some powerful people see the bandits as their own kindred spirit and would rather protect them than have them maligned, traduced and destroyed for the vermin that they represent to those whom they pillage, rape, destroy, maim and kill. The body language is unarguably easy to decipher. Let’s stop pretending not to know how to smell the fish. This cesspit smells and stinks to high heavens.
Nigeria is in bigger trouble than we are willing to admit. Who will bell the cat? After all, for whom does the bell toll? It tolls for us all, at some time or the other!

https://www.thisdaylive.com/index.php/2021/02/20/trust-me-something-fishy-is-going-on/

Let’s stop pretending not to know how to smell the fish. This cesspit smells and stinks to high heavens.

This is what truly amazes me.
How the governors and leaders of the other zones bodly pretend like there is nothing happening..
You see a Governor , political leader or traditional ruler whose people are being murdered and hacked to death on daily basis still trying to pacify the killers..

No one is bold to speak and take action in the face of an open agenda..

Buhari has shed his own tears in 2011 now Nigerians must shed tears too.

That's the simple arithmetic.

Do me I do you.

APC IS EVIL

YORUBA PEOPLE WILL ABUSE YOU...

EVERYDAY PEOPLE DIE IN NIGERIA UNDER APC ...
LIFE AINT WORTH A FLY UNDER APC GOVERNMENT

YOU SURVIVE TODAY .. THANK GOD

ONLY IF NIGERIANS UNDERSTAND THE APC IDEOLOGY AND PLANS

ANYWAY .. we keep watching.. those who ride on the back of a tiger will be consumed by the tiger..
Na preamble we dey

Make anything just carry apc near asorock 2023.

Nigerians will weep

they know that they have the full and wholehearted support of the Presidency, in whose hands they are well protected.





Only God knows what Dele found in his pocket
That made him sound and pained so much as to sound like Kanu

Foolish man
U go write tire
Shey na una bring d vegetable to us ba
U Neva see anything

DELE YOU BETTER SHUT UP, YOU WE DON'T THAT IT IS TINUBU SPEAKING THROUGH YOU

Asgard13:
APC IS EVIL

YORUBA PEOPLE WILL ABUSE YOU...

EVERYDAY PEOPLE DIE IN NIGERIA UNDER APC ...
LIFE AINT WORTH A FLY UNDER APC GOVERNMENT

YOU SURVIVE TODAY .. THANK GOD

ONLY IF NIGERIANS UNDERSTAND THE APC IDEOLOGY AND PLANS

ANYWAY .. we keep watching.. those who ride on the back of a tiger will be consumed by the tiger..
Na preamble we dey

Make anything just carry apc near asorock 2023.

Nigerians will weep

This is not not a matter of APC stop being myopic and shortsighted, Bala Mohammed that justified herdsmen-carrying AK-47 is a PDP governor.

The fulani north is bent on protecting their murderous kith and kin in the forests all over the country, Stop shouting APC up and down like a paid PDP agent

hmmmmm!!!

We know already it's jihad

This man was speaking well until he said Gumi should ask the Terrorists what amensty they want given them.


These Terrorists are jihadists they don't want amensty

Obalatule:
This is not not a matter of APC stop being myopic and shortsighted, Bala Mohammed that justified herdsmen-carrying AK-47 is a PDP governor.

The fulani north is bent on protecting their murderous kith and kin in the forests all over the country, Stop shouting APC up and down like a paid PDP agent

YOU YORUBA PEOPLE CAN DENY ALL YOU WANT
THE TRUTH REMAINS APC IS EVEIL

APC BROUGHT THIS ALL TO NIGERIANS AND NIGERIA

WE ALL KNOW BUHARI IS A DULL TERRORIST

EVERYONE AND NIGERIANS REJECTED HIM BECAUSE OF HIS ANTECEDENTS AND HIS ISLAMIC VIEWS

EVEN GENERALS AVOIDED HIS POLITICAL AMBITION
TILL YORUBA OUT OF GREED LEND THEIR SUPPORT

TODAY YORUBA PEOPLE WANT TO CHANGE NARRATIVES THATS IS NOT APC

WHY DO YOU YORUBA PEOPLE THINK THAT NIGERIANS REJECTED BUHARI FROM HIS APP DAYS

IS NOT PDP MATTER OR WHOS IN PDP

IS ALL ABOUT APC IDEOLOGY AS REGARDS TO BUHARI AND HIS PEOPLE .. WHICH THEY EXCUTING WITH THE HELP OF YORUBA PEOPLE

APC IS EVIL

YORUBA NEVER EVEN START TO CRY... PRAY MAKE TINUBU OR APC WIN

NA PROPER WAILING

WALAHI FA!

YORUBA LAND MUST GET EMIRATE AND EMIR

WE WILL BE ALIVE TO CONFIRM..

Wetin una know.....

Asgard13:


YOU YORUBA PEOPLE CAN DENY ALL YOU WANT
THE TRUTH REMAINS APC IS EVEIL

APC BROUGHT THIS ALL TO NIGERIANS AND NIGERIA

WE ALL KNOW BUHARI IS A DULL TERRORIST

EVERYONE AND NIGERIANS REJECTED HIM BECAUSE OF HIS ANTECEDENTS AND HIS ISLAMIC VIEWS

EVEN GENERALS AVOIDED HIS POLITICAL AMBITION
TILL YORUBA OUT OF GREED LEND THEIR SUPPORT

TODAY YORUBA PEOPLE WANT TO CHANGE NARRATIVES THATS IS NOT APC

WHY DO YOU YORUBA PEOPLE THINK THAT NIGERIANS REJECTED BUHARI FROM HIS APP DAYS

IS NOT PDP MATTER OR WHOS IN PDP

IS ALL ABOUT APC IDEOLOGY AS REGARDS TO BUHARI AND HIS PEOPLE .. WHICH THEY EXCUTING WITH THE HELP OF YORUBA PEOPLE

APC IS EVIL

YORUBA NEVER EVEN START TO CRY... PRAY MAKE TINUBU OR APC WIN

NA PROPER WAILING

WALAHI FA!

YORUBA LAND MUST GET EMIRATE AND EMIR

WE WILL BE ALIVE TO CONFIRM..

Wetin una know.....

Stop shouting APC like a mental patient biko, the north has an agenda that spans party lines, when they gather for their northern agenda they dont consider party......if yoruba people are your problem them call them out without being dull.

i'm an igbo person to the core till next tomorrow and i'm telling you its stupid to be crying APC all over Nairaland

Obalatule:
Stop shouting APC like a mental patient biko, the north has an agenda that spans party lines, when they gather for their northern agenda they dont consider party......if yoruba people are your problem them call them out without being dull.

i'm an igbo person to the core till next tomorrow and i'm telling you its stupid to be crying APC all over Nairaland

Gibberish

Utterly rubbish .. from a likely mental patient

You know nothing. Very very shallow .. people like you na nairaland be your base

Keep ranting..

This is not matter of APC or PDP....this bandits are killing people in every part of the country but both the governors, senators, Rep member’s and judiciary’s have kept mute just because of their selfish interest....it’s so bad that we have lost our soul and I wonder how we all sleep at night.

But one question that beats my imagination is the reason why it is very easier to deceive a non Igbo professor than to deceive a primary school graduate who is an Igbo.

No wonder Nigerians have continued to say that it's difficult to deceive an Igbo man.

Obalatule:
[b]Stop shouting APC like a mental patient biko, the north has an agenda that spans party lines, when they gather for their northern agenda they dont consider party......if yoruba people are your problem them call them out without being dull.

i'm an igbo person to the core till next tomorrow and i'm telling you its stupid to be crying APC all over Nairaland[/b]

he is shouting APC like a mental person abi?

ok. like he said, we will all witness the 'caliphatisation' of the southwest.

after that, we will know the true mental people.

Is a MATTER OF PARTY....

YORUBA PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS TELL IPOB TO FRONT A PARTY AND FLOAT IPOB IDEOLOGY..

FULANILIZATION IS OLD AS THE WORD FULANI..
IN NIGERIA IS AN OPEN SECRET .

AND FOR ANY AGENDA TO BE SUCCESSFUL AT THE NATIONAL IT MUST BE DRIVEN BY A PARTY

APC WAS HURRIEDLY PUT TOGETHER.. WEVE HEARD FULANIS ELDERSTATEMENT TALKING ABOUT HOW APC BROUGHT THIS MEN .. TO WAR AGAINST PDP JONATHAN. SHOULD INCASE..

APC AS A PARTY BROUGHT THIS PEOPLE ..
APC AS A PARTY IS EVIL
APC AS A PARTY IS THE OFFICE THAT EMPOWERS THIS BANDIT BOLDLY

THEYRE KILLING IN THE NORTH AND EVERYWHERE DONT MEAN THEYRE KILLING THEIR FELLOW FULANI

WHY AVOID FULANI SETTLEMENTS AND CORE STATES ?

Give APC POWER IN 2023 AND SEE THE REAL TERROR

ALL TERRORIST ORGANIZATIONS ARE MAJORLY SUPPORTED BY POLITCAL PARTIES

APC DID CHIBOK

APC IS EVIL

NIGERIANS SHOULD START WAKING.. BEFORE ITS LATE

SOME FOOLS HERE WILL KEEP ARGUING WHAT THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT

NA TO COME NAIRALAND DEY SHOW OFF IGNORANCE

obiekunie2:


he is shouting APC like a mental person abi?

ok. like he said, we will all witness the 'caliphatisation' of the southwest.

after that, we will know the true mental people.

The whole north is in cohort to scatter fulani influence all over Nigeria, both APC and PDP northerners know this plan, don't be too narrow minded

strike at the root of the problem which is the northern and Agenda, shouting APC make you look like a paid agent unless thats what you are

limeta:
they know that they have the full and wholehearted support of the Presidency, in whose hands they are well protected.





Only God knows what Dele found in his pocket
That made him sound and pained so much as to sound like Kanu

Attack the message not the messenger.

My conspiracy theory is that some powerful people see the bandits as their own kindred spirit and would rather protect them than have them maligned, traduced and destroyed for the vermin that they represent to those whom they pillage, rape, destroy, maim and kill.

The body language is unarguably easy to decipher. Let’s stop pretending not to know how to smell the fish. This cesspit smells and stinks to high heavens.

Nigeria is in bigger trouble than we are willing to admit. Who will bell the cat? After all, for whom does the bell toll? It tolls for us all, at some time or the other!

Summary of this epistle.God save Nigeria from the terrorists ruling us.

Obalatule:
The whole north is in cohort to scatter fulani influence all over Nigeria, both APC and PDP northerners know this plan, don't be too narrow minded

strike at the root of the problem which is the northern and Agenda, shouting APC make you look like a paid agent unless thats what you are

Leave them in their ignorance.


Mettalawe would keeping giving bandits hilux


Bala Mohammed would keep giving them ak 47


Tambuwal would keep supporting with silence


They can't see the bigger picture

Asgard13:


YOU YORUBA PEOPLE CAN DENY ALL YOU WANT
THE TRUTH REMAINS APC IS EVEIL

APC BROUGHT THIS ALL TO NIGERIANS AND NIGERIA

WE ALL KNOW BUHARI IS A DULL TERRORIST

EVERYONE AND NIGERIANS REJECTED HIM BECAUSE OF HIS ANTECEDENTS AND HIS ISLAMIC VIEWS

EVEN GENERALS AVOIDED HIS POLITICAL AMBITION
TILL YORUBA OUT OF GREED LEND THEIR SUPPORT

TODAY YORUBA PEOPLE WANT TO CHANGE NARRATIVES THATS IS NOT APC

WHY DO YOU YORUBA PEOPLE THINK THAT NIGERIANS REJECTED BUHARI FROM HIS APP DAYS

IS NOT PDP MATTER OR WHOS IN PDP

IS ALL ABOUT APC IDEOLOGY AS REGARDS TO BUHARI AND HIS PEOPLE .. WHICH THEY EXCUTING WITH THE HELP OF YORUBA PEOPLE

APC IS EVIL

YORUBA NEVER EVEN START TO CRY... PRAY MAKE TINUBU OR APC WIN

NA PROPER WAILING

WALAHI FA!

YORUBA LAND MUST GET EMIRATE AND EMIR

WE WILL BE ALIVE TO CONFIRM..

Wetin una know.....

APC is darkness and evil

But terrorism is not a party thing in Nigerian

Its a religio tribal war

Its first religion,then tribe

Obalatule:
This is not not a matter of APC stop being myopic and shortsighted, Bala Mohammed that justified herdsmen-carrying AK-47 is a PDP governor.

The fulani north is bent on protecting their murderous kith and kin in the forests all over the country, Stop shouting APC up and down like a paid PDP agent

During the 16years of PDP as you APC Will say the Fulanis were in this country,one of them yardua was even president,they were not as brazen as this.we can safely say it is the ideology of the APC to promote insecurity to gain political advantage, that is fueling and encouraging them..

Pmedia7787:



APC is darkness and evil

But terrorism is not a party thing in Nigerian

Its a religio tribal war

Its first religion,then tribe

EVERY TERRORIST ORGANIZATION IS BEEN SUPPORTED BY THE PARTY AND GOVERNMENT IN POWER

IF NOT GOVERNMENT WILL UNLEASH ITS TROOPS

surgical:
During the 16years of PDP as you APC Will say the Fulanis were in this country,one of them yardua was even president,they were not as brazen as this.we can safely say it is the ideology of the APC to promote insecurity to gain political advantage, that is fueling and encouraging them..

That man is a nairaland armchair critic.. knows nothing about the party he’s supporting and shouting am igbos as if that validates his jargon

Dey there and be writing epistle, blowing grammar up and down...those fulanis in the bush won't read this your long epistle...when kanu was saying it we called him scammer,when obasanjo was writing multiple letters we called him wailer,when obedia malifia said it we called it conspiracy theories,when fani kayode said it we called him loud mouth,ty danjuma said it we said it is political motivated,now we all are seeing it and feeling it....lolz my only happiness is that both the apc and pdp supporters are feeling the heat today,,,,a situation where the military left the bandits killing and sacking villages only to come and be doing air bombardment on security outfit formed to protect people while bandits are being negotiated with.... lolz I pray that we will come out of the coming storm alive....this is not a matter of praying and fasting....get ready!!!! I'm not a prophet of doom but I see bad omen... the future is gloomy and cloudy..... God save us!!!

I owe Igbo apology on this. My big sorry to Igbos who have seen the future.

Daalu.

Obalatule:
This is not not a matter of APC stop being myopic and shortsighted, Bala Mohammed that justified herdsmen-carrying AK-47 is a PDP governor.

The fulani north is bent on protecting their murderous kith and kin in the forests all over the country, Stop shouting APC up and down like a paid PDP agent

Was a PDP governor.

Dele ovation

we are still in testing mode soon everyone both the governor, senators, even president go begin para because i see a big monster that even our military strength can not suppress just soon if you get money leave Nigeria you see 2023 ahh! e go bloody nobi small thing oh

what a country

Asgard13:


Gibberish

Utterly rubbish .. from a likely mental patient

You know nothing. Very very shallow .. people like you na nairaland be your base

Keep ranting..

Someone of sound intelligent is correcting u, is like Yorubas are your nightmares, why are u so pained with zero IQ?