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How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me - Travel (5) - Nairaland

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Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Nobody: 1:22pm On Mar 08, 2021
Childofthelord:
Honestly, you wouldn't have explained it any better. Been in Vancouver for 3 years now and I could not agree less. I usually engage myself with volunteering, community service, church choir and taking swimming lessons and post my random thoughts on Nairaland. That alleviates the boredom a little, but the loneliness is unmatched. You better learn to enjoy your own company before coming over. Don't overdo things or try to be too friendly, they'll see you as a pest.

Peace

You should pay the price and run off. It's that simple. By paying the price, I mean it in the context that you should bag that degree, get the passport (or permanent resident at least), save up while doing that, then move to naija. Now I'm not in the country but I will be soon in few months, and I'm loving my life this way. Thank God for EU passport, even corona can't even stop me from flexing.

I left naija when I was a teenager also, but the first month I landed Europe, I knew that I'm not staying there. Too boring that it kills the soul. And what I advised you is exactly what I did. And Canada that is almost half size of Africa, with only the population of Lagos and Kaduna, it's so damn sparsely populated and booriing. I can't live there. I'm too hotblooded for that. Una wey de live for Canada dey try I swear.

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Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by klashe(m): 1:22pm On Mar 08, 2021
If y'all understand the difference between cold and hot climate cultures you won't have problem living anywhere in the world.

1 Like

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Nobody: 1:23pm On Mar 08, 2021
lekki1444:
I hate topics like this on nairaland because it is the fool that hasnt smelt muritala mohammed airport that will have the biggest opinon about why abroad is not boring

however as it goes abroad is not boring if you are under 25 years of age and totally unaware. it is when you are over 25 and you start developing a high sense of self worth about yourself and yet you look-around and see that your race as depicted as the most wretched on British or american TV, then you also start to look at all the bills you are paying even on stuff that you own and have fully paid for, and then you start to feel out of place and lonely as you start to get racially aware, THATS WHEN IT ALL STARTS CRASHING DOWN SPIRITUALLY AND MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY FOR YOU and then depression kicks in and suicidal thougts. and if you are fortunate enough to come from a rich background you can pack your potmato and run back to naija. but if you have nothing to your name and your family is poor ? you must try to exist in this hellish spiritual and mental and emotional prison and there is no way out for you. just try not to commit suicide. depresson is allowed
Many minorities ethnic groups are facing the same sense of worthlessness here in Nigeria, so?

1 Like

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by neurosci: 1:25pm On Mar 08, 2021
roteblomen:


You should pay the price and run off. It's that simple. By paying the price, I mean it in the context that you should bag that degree, get the passport (or permanent resident at least), save up while doing that, then move to naija. Now I'm not in the country but I will be soon in few months, and I'm loving my life this way. Thank God for EU passport, even corona can't even stop me from flexing.

I left naija when I was a teenager also, but the first month I landed Europe, I knew that I'm not staying there. Too boring that it kills the soul. And what I advised you is exactly what I did. And Canada that is almost half size of Africa, with only the population of Lagos and Kaduna, it's so damn sparsely populated and booriing. I can't live there. I'm too hotblooded dkr that.


Great advice there. Once you have the passport, you can travel and live wherever you want.

19 Likes

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Nobody: 1:26pm On Mar 08, 2021
SarkinYarki:


That's one thing I hate about Nigerian ladies , you can't even just be friendly with them for minutes without them trying to bring financial problems to you once they sense you are comfortable ... Even a lady that greets me daily at a place I frequent and she recently collected my phone number only to greet me twice on what's app and then next thing she starts telling about her visa issues and how she is short of money to complete it ...I just taya again , I sent her the money and immediately blocked her ..no time for people with such baggages right now

This is dumb.

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Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by DonFreshmoney(m): 1:27pm On Mar 08, 2021
Childofthelord:
Honestly, you wouldn't have explained it any better. Been in Vancouver for 3 years now and I could not agree less. I usually engage myself with volunteering, community service, church choir and taking swimming lessons and post my random thoughts on Nairaland. That alleviates the boredom a little, but the loneliness is unmatched. You better learn to enjoy your own company before coming over. Don't overdo things or try to be too friendly, they'll see you as a pest.

Peace

Hi Grace, I would be going to Vancouver for MBA studies at UCW.. I would have gone but the present restriction affected my plans.. if you dont mind, I sent u email on Nairaland, or we can chat via WhatsApp

1 Like

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by chrisj2(m): 1:28pm On Mar 08, 2021
Quality20:
How cn u b at home 24/7? Isn't there gym, worship centre,libraries etc

Ignorant comment and the poster get likes too... None of those places are open - it is not like Nigeria where we do not have rules and we mostly disobey rules.

It can be lonely but 24/7 at home is too much - an exaggeration! However, folks that have never stepped out of his or lived independently in western worlds cannot truly understand. People mind their own businesses and you also have to be careful who you open to: be it locals or Nigerians or other Africans...

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Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by hopexter(m): 1:29pm On Mar 08, 2021
Quality20:
How cn u b at home 24/7? Isn't there gym, worship centre,libraries etc

No where is open bro. Not even barbing saloon not to talk of gym or church. Na only supermarkets for food purposes and hospitals incase of infection. There's total boredom and depression mixed with cold lol, Naija be like Europe for our eyes now grin grin

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Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by lekki1444: 1:31pm On Mar 08, 2021
CamusMidas:

Many minorities ethnic groups are facing the same sense of worthlessness here in Nigeria, so?
really ? as you walk down the streets of nigeria people can tell you are ijaw ? or itsekiri ? or idoma ? This is my point about the annoying nature of people who have not not smelt muuritala mohammed airport before. comparing minor tribal entitlements to the situaton of a visibly black man existing in a white world where he is rated as trash and yet he cannot hide his skin color andso he has to live with this hatred from everyone everyday. this why even the famous micheal jackson tried to turn himself to white to escape from all this hate put on blackness. its lonely and depressing being a visibly blackman existing n a society where black is despised. and you know the funny part ? everyone who is not black has been so socialised to the point that they will hate you even worse than the white man hates you. they are programmed to hate you more. the hispanics will make your life a living hell, the chinese, the indian, the pakistani, the korean, etc etc. Its tough being black outside of africa.

I Contemplated Suicide - Meghan Markle Accuses British Royals Of Racism

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Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Nobody: 1:32pm On Mar 08, 2021
Cousin9999:


No.

Dating apps are mostly full of creepers and undesirables looking for you-know-what.

I mean something for a very specific demographic to socialize, actually socialize.
That was the intention of many popular dating app before the USERs turn it to a hook up app. Example Hi5 and Tinder.

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Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by LordOfTheGame: 1:33pm On Mar 08, 2021
BadRadio:
Texas babes lack culinary skills, they are terrible in bed and they lack useful mannersgrin

I can feel your excitement now that she have accepted your email request, every other babe no go get skills for your eyes now...Lols... continue my guy, it's allowed but don't fail to invite us for rice chopping and mineral drinking. I know say you no get money to buy better wines wey I dey like.
grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Nobody: 1:35pm On Mar 08, 2021
neurosci:
I'm surprised how everyone turned this thread into a dating topic. The issue is about the experiences of loneliness in the western world, specifically Canada. How come it's now all about how to date? And besides dating does not even solve the loneliness problem. [b]Loneliness here is due to the culture here, which is vastly different from Nigeria's. [/b]Thirsty guys just turned the whole thing into dating white girls, confidence, game blah blah blah
By different you mean Nigerians lack of respect for private space?

2 Likes

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Ezyp(m): 1:35pm On Mar 08, 2021
ednut1:
I dont take them serious because they are not serious. Keep staying in your house complaining and dont make effort to socialize o. For many its the validation and toasting they get in Nigeria. But all of a sudden no one sends you again lol

100% correct...

some of them still dey form for abroad..
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by neurosci: 1:37pm On Mar 08, 2021
lekki1444:
really ? as you walk down the streets of nigeria people can tell you are ijaw ? or itsekiri ? or idoma ? This is my point about the annoying nature of people who have not not smelt muuritala mohammed airport before. comparing minor tribal entitlements to the situaton of a visibly black man existing in a white world where he is rated as trash and yet he cannot hide his skin color andso he has to live with this hatred from everyone everyday. this why even the famous micheal jackson tried to turn himself to white to escape from all this hate put on blackness. its lonely and depressing being a visibly blackman existing n a society where black is despised. and you know the funny part ? everyone who is not black has been so socialised to the point that they will hate you even worse than the white man hates you. they are programmed to hate you more. the hispanics will make your life a living hell, the chinese, the indian, the pakistani, the korean, etc etc. Its tough being black outside of africa.

I always laugh when I see people here on Nairaland compare tribalism to racism. Mostly people who have never been out of the continent, so they don't even understand what racism means. Some even say tribalism is worse than racism smh. My advice to people is, they should go out and experience things for themselves. There are things you just can't explain to people who have never been there.

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Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Nobody: 1:39pm On Mar 08, 2021
roteblomen:


You should pay the price and run off. It's that simple. By paying the price, I mean it in the context that you should bag that degree, get the passport (or permanent resident at least), save up while doing that, then move to naija. Now I'm not in the country but I will be soon in few months, and I'm loving my life this way. Thank God for EU passport, even corona can't even stop me from flexing.

I left naija when I was a teenager also, but the first month I landed Europe, I knew that I'm not staying there. Too boring that it kills the soul. And what I advised you is exactly what I did. And Canada that is almost half size of Africa, with only the population of Lagos and Kaduna, it's so damn sparsely populated and booriing. I can't live there. I'm too hotblooded for that. Una wey de live for Canada dey try I swear.

How has Nigeria hot-bloodedness brought about any innovation or highly economic society? When citizens can't put their hands down and mind their business while collaborating with their like-minded individuals.

What you just type is oxymoronic, but I am glad that your address is in order.

1 Like

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Donspicey: 1:41pm On Mar 08, 2021
shegun4sur:



With masters it would've made more brain to get a more reasonable job. Coming back solely because of such flimsy reasons is plain stupid

Focus mind told you that his plans and success lies here and u called it plain stupid..


Dont you know its not evrybody that feels comfortable working under any company?...


Some prefer to work while some prefer setting up their bizness and employing others,so its matter of choice bro....


As it is i can only travel out for business meeting or tour...

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Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Tunagee(m): 1:44pm On Mar 08, 2021
Focusmind:
Lonliness made me to return back home after my masters in 2010.

After getting a caregiver job in Perth with accommodation, the job was so monotonous that I felt I was in prison. The hourly rate for the job was okay with free meals and accommodation, I was still missing the get together with former colleagues in Lagos, the TGIF and the weekend get together, the travel to my village for celebrations. cool. I love village events and celebrations. Those from the East will understand.

If you are a hyper social type of person, adjusting living abroad will be difficult for you. Nigeria is still far from what I would have love her to be but I wouldn't trade in my happiness, social life, freedom, status, family, power and career aspirations for abroad.

At least, I am not doing badly here. I can still afford to provide myself with 24hours electricity, have access to paid servants, go anywhere, visit my lovely extended family members (the good ones), create a future for myself, have my own house and definitely hope for the best in the future.

For those that wants to stay in Nigeria, you should mind how you consume negative news about Nigeria. The negative news have ways of weighing one down. So, sieve the kind of news about Nigeria you hear or watch or else, you would loose hope grin

Each to his or her own, but my life and success lies here. kiss


Love this comment

3 Likes

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by doxijaw: 1:44pm On Mar 08, 2021
Buliwyf:


Dude you don't know what you are talking about. Leave Nigeria first then you will understand it's not just about skill. It's as much about the other person than whatever you have to offer.

I have seen white girls dating very ugly black boys and when you walk up to them they tell you they are in a committed relationship. When you ask the guy how he got her he will say they attend a class together and she just took an interest in him.

I have seen cases where white girls will help you, give you money and even cook for you but won't date you for any reason. If you take those gestures as a sign that you have skills, you are in for the rudest shock of your life when she tells you that she is just your friend and doesn't want anything more.

Dey there dey deceive yourself.

U Sabi no be small.

2 Likes

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by lekki1444: 1:45pm On Mar 08, 2021
neurosci:


I always laugh when I see people here on Nairaland compare tribalism to racism. Mostly people who have never been out of the continent, so they don't even understand what racism means. Some even say tribalism is worse than racism smh. My advice to people is, they should go out and experience things for themselves. There are things you just can't explain to people who have never been there.
very well said

2 Likes

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Buliwyf: 1:45pm On Mar 08, 2021
Donspicey:


Focus mind told you that his plans and success lies here and u called it plain stupid..


Dont you know its not evrybody that feels comfortable working under any company?...


Some prefer to work while some prefer setting up their bizness and employing others,so its matter of choice bro....


As it is i can only travel out for business meeting or tour...

Some of them don't know that some people make more money in Nigeria than they will be able to make abroad. They think that the experience of every Nigerian is the same.

3 Likes

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by neurosci: 1:47pm On Mar 08, 2021
CamusMidas:

By different you mean Nigerians lack of respect for private space?
The culture here is that people are very friendly but are not committed to friendship. Yes, you can walk up to people, strike conversations and all that. They will respond very enthusiastically, smile, ask questions, and be very involved. You will think you just made a new, wonderful friend. However, the moment you exit that conversation, it all ends there. They won't stay in touch or anything. It's weird because sometimes you might even see them the next day and they would act like they don't know you. This was someone you had a friendly conversation with yesterday. So, even though they are very friendly and you had a great conversation, you'll realize that you still have no friend because friendship requires commitment and staying in touch, but they are not interested in that. This will happen repeatedly and you'll later get used to it. That is why I call it the culture. And it has nothing to do with gender which is why in surprised everyone here thinks it's about dating.

Now, this is different from Nigeria where, once you have a great conversation with someone, you'll usually stay in touch and remain friends. So, in essence, people here are friendlier and more polite than Nigerians, but you will find it easier to make friends in Nigeria.

Plus here, you're different - you're black - that's a whole topic for another day.

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Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by gnykelly(m): 1:48pm On Mar 08, 2021
LordOfTheGame:


You don't necessarily need a visa, you can from Libya. grin grin grin
Libya. I pass grin

1 Like

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by gnykelly(m): 1:49pm On Mar 08, 2021
Focusmind:


Not the Australian Perth but Scottish Perth in UK. There is also a city called Perth in Scotland, Uk

never knew.
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Nobody: 1:52pm On Mar 08, 2021
lekki1444:
really ? as you walk down the streets of nigeria people can tell you are ijaw ? or itsekiri ? or idoma ? This is my point about the annoying nature of people who have not not smelt muuritala mohammed airport before. comparing minor tribal entitlements to the situaton of a visibly black man existing in a white world where he is rated as trash and yet he cannot hide his skin color andso he has to live with this hatred from everyone everyday. this why even the famous micheal jackson tried to turn himself to white to escape from all this hate put on blackness. its lonely and depressing being a visibly blackman existing n a society where black is despised. and you know the funny part ? everyone who is not black has been so socialised to the point that they will hate you even worse than the white man hates you. they are programmed to hate you more. the hispanics will make your life a living hell, the chinese, the indian, the pakistani, the korean, etc etc. Its tough being black outside of africa.

I Contemplated Suicide - Meghan Markle Accuses British Royals Of Racism
You have point I have to give you that, but the bolded is not rightly placed, because even some small royal family in a small ethnic group here in Nigeria won't take it likely if someone from another ethnic group is coming to marry there son. And you are taking about the oldest, richest and populous monarchy.

Yes, I have been to Mutaritala airport for a local flight and never being abroad. But as a graduate from a minority ethnic seeing clearly the nepotism going on in Nigeria. I rather look my black skin and own it as a uniqueness to who I am and knowing fully well that when I put in the work and qualified for it and I have more open doors without knowing anybody there. Compare to the fact that just your name can deprived me of opportunities here in Nigeria.

What's my business with how someone choose to see me or downgrade me without knowing anything about me, sorry but that's not even the type of person I would I want attract.
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Tunagee(m): 1:53pm On Mar 08, 2021
Mcslize:


Exactly. Here in Nigeria, that notion of only guys should approach ladies had been inbuilt in most ladies. The kind of attention our women get here they don't get that once they get to the west world. Guys hardly approach ladies over there. It is mind your business lifestyle. All their lives, most of our ladies haven't approached a guy. They carry same mindset abroad hoping for men to be rushing them. When that is not forth coming, they go into depression comparing Nigeria to abroad.

Some times I approach ladies just for the fun of it. I don't think there is any lady I can't approach. People are scared of rejection and scared of being turned down when trying to socialise with the opposite sex. Who truly cares if a lady turn me down or not.

I walked up to a lady striked a convo, and requested her number, she simply said she just wanted to be left alone. That she doesn't want any man in her life oh my God just for asking of number. I simply told her ok have a nice day.

If I were some persons, I won't approach ladies again due to that rejection. The next day I saw another lady and I striked a convo as usual and boom she responded well, got her number and walked away.

People should learn how to approach and socialize. If you look deeply, you will discover the issue is not the society but them.

Wow! Really love your view
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Nobody: 1:53pm On Mar 08, 2021
Ezyp:


100% correct...

some of them still dey form for abroad..
Trust our country people naw.
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Donspicey: 1:56pm On Mar 08, 2021
Buliwyf:


Some of them don't know that some people make more money in Nigeria than they will be able to make abroad. They think that the experience of every Nigerian is the same.

And another mistake most of them make is not having anything to fall back to should incase things go south over there...


Can't imagine myself working in overs which i detest even here.If you are not financially bouyant don't expect not to be feeling lonely in any strange environment....


Naija is Blessed my Brother..


Truely no place like home....

6 Likes

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by LordOfTheGame: 1:57pm On Mar 08, 2021
gnykelly:

Libya. I pass grin

Obodo oyibo by any means... lawd Jehova. grin
Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Nobody: 1:58pm On Mar 08, 2021
neurosci:


I always laugh when I see people here on Nairaland compare tribalism to racism. Mostly people who have never been out of the continent, so they don't even understand what racism means. Some even say tribalism is worse than racism smh. My advice to people is, they should go out and experience things for themselves. There are things you just can't explain to people who have never been there.
It means you are not good at explaining, tribalism is a cousin to racism you can take that anywhere.
There are many things you can't easily access in Nigeria due to your tribe.

Let's go ahead and do that, list what you can't access as a black man in the western world. And I would write down what you can't easily access just because of your tribe and ethnicity in Nigeria, after that we can see the level to which each affect an individual advancement.

1 Like

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by jeffdaniel(m): 1:58pm On Mar 08, 2021
Mcslize:


Don't reply with a different account. I know it's you Neurosci.

You simply scared of talking to white girls maybe that's why.

It's nobody fault. Try and reach out to people irrespective of their color. Low self esteem is the greatest disease of the black race.

There are many threads here on Nairaland that will teach you how to talk to girls. E.g Hardon thread. Then if you don't want to be a woman wrapper, check out Glycolysis thread. They are all insightful. Stop being scared of talking to white girls. They won't bite you.


Bro. Be smart and listen to those guys up there. I've seen Nigerians get into trouble because they are trying to be friendly with the opposite sex. Where I was working there was this Nigerian guy, I believed he's not been around for too long. He got into trouble because he was getting too close to this white lady. The company fired him, God saved him they didn't call police that day. So, you may not be lucky doing most of the things you can get away with in Nigeria.

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Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Dybala11(m): 1:59pm On Mar 08, 2021
Mcslize:


Don't reply with a different account. I know it's you Neurosci.

You simply scared of talking to white girls maybe that's why.

It's nobody fault. Try and reach out to people irrespective of their color. Low self esteem is the greatest disease of the black race.

There are many threads here on Nairaland that will teach you how to talk to girls. E.g Hardon thread. Then if you don't want to be a woman wrapper, check out Glycolysis thread. They are all insightful. Stop being scared of talking to white girls. They won't bite you.

I see your tactics, it's easy to sit behind your keyboard in Nigeria and type whatever you like. It's easy to make assumptions on the cultural and behavioral set up of the whites even without having a direct contact with any of them. A guy who claims that he's living with those people have given you both a first hand and research proof of what is happening there and all you can do is dismiss his whole argument however factual it seems with just mere assumptions from your thought. Typical Nigerian, I do that too at times though so I understand quite well. grin

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Nigerians Abroad Complain About Loneliness Amazes Me by Eriokanmi: 2:02pm On Mar 08, 2021
Quality20:
How cn u b at home 24/7? Isn't there gym, worship centre,libraries etc
they hardly go to church oo. Moreover, everybody next door is a suspect. They don't trust themselves. Here in Nigeria, all it takes to be in your neighbour's apartment is a knock at their door. Over there , nothing like that oo. If you try it, na 911 go settle am, that's if the neighbour doesn't pull the trigger all in the name if self defence. All you see by their entrance is "this is a private property, trespassers will he prosecuted'' My experience in that place, especially in USA pass loneliness. Even at the gym or mall, to great sef dey hard people. Is it not someone who welcomes you with a smile you'd want to open a conversation with? It's hai, hai and off you go.

I love naija. I love being in the midst of my people. Ojo meloo lanlo l'aye t'an wewu irin? That's why suicide is so easy there. Nobody to share your feelings with , you're just on your own. How I wish we got leadership right in Nigeria. Travelling and living abroad would have been a second thought.

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