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Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by purples25(f): 4:45pm On Mar 24, 2021
Lucrativress:

You need to learn the silent treatment
It is very manipulative
The punishment is rather with their minds
Learn the act of manipulation, you're a Female
They can be tamed with mind manipulation
I have a junior one,can't remember the year I touched her last,but guess what..
I can make her cry in the dark
I can make her say stuff's like "let me do it" and I'm like "don't worry"..
Using the mind means you being calm yourself, not like you won't play when you have to,but learn to be manipulative,the mind is a strong weapon,then apart from that..
Why not start giving them your System to use?
You can set a time to when they can use it
Also,start being a giver,when they're not expecting it,you can get them nice Shoe's or stuff's when they're not expecting it at all...
Be a good Sister
It's all part of the mind game
You need them feeling guilty,you need to activate their conscience..

Sis, you've spoken well. I give them stuff, infact, my last naira note and I'm known to be generous to them like that. Even others in the house berate them, that i play with them, give them things, more than others, but i recieve the worst misbehavior from them.

I have thought about your other options too. Changed my laptop password.

2 Likes

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by purples25(f): 4:47pm On Mar 24, 2021
ImaIma1:
The upbringing was soft and that is what is showing up now. When I was taking care of my nephews, I could scoldand discipline them but still showed them love. Children need some kind of blend of both, especially from parents.

When they feel they can walk over you, they will disrespect you and call your bluff. Stop being the nice aunt or sister that wants to be in their good books. They will even value and respect the ones that discipline them.


Thanks, i need to stop wanting to be 'the favorite aunt.'
Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by purples25(f): 4:50pm On Mar 24, 2021
Akuruoulo:
THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO RESPECT U. WHEN I WAS A KID I AM SAID TO BE THE MOST HUMBLE AND QUIET GUY BOTH HOME, PLAYGROUND AND SCHOOL BT YET I DNT TAKE ALL INSTRUCTIONS FROM OUR OLDEST SIBLING WHO IS JUST 4YEARS OLDER THAN I AM. AM IN MY LATE 20'S TOO AND MY LITTLE COUSIN WHO IS 12YR DOESN'T DO ALL INSTRUCTED BUT ALL GET DANM SCARED WHEN I EVER I ASK HIM ABOUT IT (HE IS ALWAY LIKE "WHY DIDN'T I DO THIS"wink.

I can't count how many times I reminded them I can give birth to them. Dunno why there is no fear in them for me. I have received some tips from you all here though, which will help.
Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by purples25(f): 4:58pm On Mar 24, 2021
VanTee20:


So much sense in one post.

Hi VanTee, how are you?
Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by Lucrativress(f): 5:01pm On Mar 24, 2021
purples25:


Sis, you've spoken well. I give them stuff, infact, my last naira note and I'm known to be generous to them like that. Even others in the house berate them, that i play with them, give them things, more than others, but i recieve the worst misbehavior from them.

I have thought about your other options too. Changed my laptop password.
Since you already give them stuffs
Stop giving them stuff's
Start being more quiet..
Watch out for when they'll take your System and say,next time you can just tell me.
That's all and take the Laptop away
This time,let the Laptop be with you,the next day,give them the Laptop and say,you can use it for 2 hour's..
Talk less,withdraw the play
Reduce your laughter,start wearing a very cool face that is neither cold or warm..
Do you have a Job?
Start going to work as usual,make earpiece your friend,be less interactive....
Part of what you want to do is for them not to know what to expect from you..
You want them guessing what you're up to..

2 Likes

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by purples25(f): 5:03pm On Mar 24, 2021
adanny01:


Stop the beating . It's not helping because of their size. One day, they might react and that will be the end of any disciplinary action from you.

Secondly, talk less and care for them less. Hausa says, "Sabo da ido shi ke sa reni", that is, familiarity breeds contempt. The are not your responsibility, they see you as over bearing. You actually have no leverage to discipline them or get respect. You are not a parent, you physically may not win a one on one fight, you don't pay their bills nor provide for their upkeep. If they had to depend on you for shelter, cloths, food, sch fees and all they need, they will respect you.

What ever thing they enjoyed from you, make them beg for it, that's leverage. Start with a strong password on your laptop and keep the password secret.

I've stopped the beating o. Because they look like they can turn on me, and they are able to twist the cane out of my hands and run away. I hold the food and laptop instead.

2 Likes

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by purples25(f): 5:06pm On Mar 24, 2021
Lucrativress:

Since you already give them stuffs
Stop giving them stuff's
Start being more quiet..
Watch out for when they'll take your System and say,next time you can just tell me.
That's all and take the Laptop away
This time,let the Laptop be with you,the next day,give them the Laptop and say,you can use it for 2 hour's..
Talk less,withdraw the play
Reduce your laughter,start wearing a very cool face that is neither cold or warm..
Do you have a Job?
Start going to work as usual,make earpiece your friend,be less interactive....
Part of what you want to do is for them not to know what to expect from you..
You want them guessing what you're up to..

I just got a job. Yes, I also feel the job will make them less used to me. Earpiece, check.

The element of surprise. Good one.

1 Like

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by Lucrativress(f): 5:13pm On Mar 24, 2021
purples25:


I just got a job. Yes, I also feel the job will make them less used to me. Earpiece, check.

The element of surprise. Good one.
Familiarity breed's disrespect most times
It is see finish that is doing them
Biko when you start this Job,put in the silent treatment well
Don't worry,the respect will find you..
Also another scope
You can start pretending like you're making official calls most times
Let them ear,come up with intelligent official conversations you'll be saying over the call..
Your System,start doing official documentations on it..
You want them seeing "value"
Value brings respect grin
Start running your errands yourself..

5 Likes

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by Akuruoulo(m): 5:19pm On Mar 24, 2021
purples25:


I can't count how many times I reminded them I can give birth to them. Dunno why there is no fear in them for me. I have received some tips from you all here though, which will help.
Reminding them u can give birth to them is like a joke to them . Just use those males as makeweight

1 Like

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by Akuruoulo(m): 5:26pm On Mar 24, 2021
purples25:


I can't count how many times I reminded them I can give birth to them. Dunno why there is no fear in them for me. I have received some tips from you all here though, which will help.
They too can help u warn them off u like ( they should pretend they heard other kids making jest of u). They will tell them that they don't wana hear that kind stuffs again , nd they also dn't wana hear they(kids) disrespect u ever again. THEY SHOULD DO THIS IN UR ABSENCE

2 Likes

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by KaideeGee(m): 8:40pm On Mar 24, 2021
purples25:


Late twenties.

No wonder...
He probably subconsciously feels you are not old enough for him to respect. I will advice you look for a way to prove to him that you are superior that should clear the air a bit.
Please take my words under advisement

1 Like

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by purples25(f): 8:56pm On Mar 24, 2021
KaideeGee:


No wonder...
He probably subconsciously feels you are not old enough for him to respect. I will advice you look for a way to prove to him that you are superior that should clear the air a bit.
Please take my words under advisement

Thanks I will.
Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by VanTee20(m): 2:55am On Mar 25, 2021
purples25:


Hi VanTee, how are you?

I'm good. What about you? It's been ages. Do you still write and draw? I'm finding it hard to keep up with NL threads these days.
Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by purples25(f): 6:33am On Mar 25, 2021
VanTee20:


I'm good. What about you? It's been ages. Do you still write and draw? I'm finding it hard to keep up with NL threads these days.

An ordinary girl tries. grin

You're welcome to nl anytime.
Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by purples25(f): 6:35am On Mar 25, 2021
Lucrativress:

Familiarity breed's disrespect most times
It is see finish that is doing them
Biko when you start this Job,put in the silent treatment well
Don't worry,the respect will find you..
Also another scope
You can start pretending like you're making official calls most times
Let them ear,come up with intelligent official conversations you'll be saying over the call..
Your System,start doing official documentations on it..
You want them seeing "value"
Value brings respect grin
Start running your errands yourself..

Makes sense. I'll do this too.
Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by Kayberg: 8:24am On Mar 25, 2021
Lastpharoah33:


Funny enough, you are one of us....introverts!.


This is how I handle my younger brothers. They are coolheaded like me though,buh things can go south atimes....smh

Mmmm…..

I can't deny anything in the quoted because it's all true.
Though, not like I became one overnight, but heat made the crayfish curve.
Been trying to beat it but it's been difficult, hereby making me lose out on so many things.
Read books, none seem to work.
I must admit I need help.
If you know what I can do next.

1 Like

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by VanTee20(m): 12:28am On Mar 26, 2021
purples25:


An ordinary girl tries. grin

You're welcome to nl anytime.

Okay, don't stop trying. smiley

Thank you.

1 Like

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by purples25(f): 1:56am On Mar 26, 2021
VanTee20:


Okay, don't stop trying. smiley

Thank you.

This your greeting sha. Take care.
Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by Drella(m): 9:21am On Apr 05, 2021
purples25:
This post is just my way of letting off steam. It is truly not easy to take care of teenagers. Those who have teenagers they care for can probably relate, and those who do not can have an inkling of what its like.

I am a senior sister and second mother to my 14 year old youngest brother, and 15 year old male cousin. They are such characters that they each deserve their own section. Here goes:

Troublesome Teenager Number 1, My 15 year old Cousin: I love my cousin, but he is a serious case. When he came to live with my family, I resolved not to touch him or discipline him extensively. People staying with others tend to bring up accusations of abuse, anything you do to them is attributed to the fact that they are not your immediate family. As a result, I and my brothers handle him like an egg.

The boy took ample advantage of this. From being sullen and disciplined, he became very wild. Many times he would take offence to the slightest correction. He also goes out when he likes, picks whatever he wants from the kitchen and watches movies on my laptop from dawn till dusk. Answers me back as he likes from time to time. My brothers are his role models but if I correct him, that's where the problem lies. I think he feels I cannot and should not tame him. The funniest thing he ever did was starting to act up after he was told that the only reason I was not touching him was so as not to create issues between his mom and us. He became bolder and even tried to deepen his already deepening voice.

Whenever his mom comes around, he turns me to his enemy. He starts to perpetuate the notion that he is a victim of abuse. The last time his mom was around, he started shouting at me at his whim and when I got angry one day and slapped him, his mother finally made him a celebrated hero. She almost took him home by midnight that day, because the image of an abused boy that she wanted so badly had finally been portrayed to her.


Troublesome Teen Number 2, my 14 year old brother: I love my little brother as well. I tried to raise him like people raise kids abroad. Talking to him gently when he misbehaves, explaining to him, punishing by taking things away or just small reprimands....

That shii didn't work. He became the most troublesome little boy I knew. Whenever his friends are around, he wants to show off to them by talking over me, ignoring my demands. I started to discipline him but before long, he knew how to run to the neighbors house, taking the cane from me, and running outside where the discipline would become a spectacle. Sometimes he even yells at me too. He has tried to beat a few adults who tried to beat him. But they gave him a good beating grin

Since when he was small, 'he wants what he wants.' If I don't give him something, sometimes he would go and take it. Sometimes I would catch him. Time and time again, even with warnings, things still disappear at will.

When any kid around him is being bad, he wants to do two times what that kid is doing, and be loved for it. He feels that is love. From the time that my cousin came around, and we told him that we cannot touch our cousin, else it would be termed as abusing a family member from another mother.....he has taken it as proof of love that however we pardon our cousin, we must pardon him. He copies what our cousin does, does worse, and always defends himself with the fact that we leave our cousin, we dont spare him.

Now we have come to the last part, my experience with these two kids combined...


The Terrible Two: The two of them constantly answer me back, laugh and joke and even encourage me to come and punish them. They feel no amount of beating from me can break them, maybe because I am a woman. However, they have full fear and respect for the males around them. If i try to talk to them they act as if someone or something insignificant is talking. Few times though, they try to calm the wild spirits inside them, and behave.

Things still disappear at home, and even if we are the only ones at home, they both co operate and deny everything. The co operate to disrespect me. They start joking and laughing right after I'm done with my long warnings or advice talks. They tell me to come and punish them, that they will enjoy the punishment. They have turned my laptop to their permanent TV, day, night and midnight, i cant use it. If i hide it, they find it, turn it on, play whatever on it as early as 5 am till 12 or 1 on weekends. They put games there, got a game pad and play till thy kingdom come, all without my consent. They don't answer me, they do what they like when they like.

They are only tame at school. These are not kids that are meek. These are tall versions of Aki and Pawpaw that are already as tall as me at the moment.


This morning, my mom called me and told me that handling these teens is all about patience.

If you have had difficulties with teens, you can talk about your experience, to make this more interesting and educative. If you were a troublesome or troubled teen, you can also share.

Ciao! grin





I didn't respect them.It was the age I was then.I grew out of it though it took long!A lot of advice has been given here.Use them according to your discretion.

No one taught me before I comported myself

3 Likes

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by purples25(f): 9:44am On Apr 05, 2021
Drella:


I have four elder sisters,no brother and I'm the last child.
During my time,I only fear my dad,next is my mom.
You see others,I didn't respect them.It was the age I was then.I grew out of it though it took long!A lot of advice has been given here.Use them according to your discretion.

Guess what,one of my sisters became an army officer.No one taught me before I comported myself

Thanks. I smiled at the part where you stated that your sister became an army officer, and you had to learn to compose yourself. cheesy

5 Likes

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by 9jaRealist: 2:21pm On Apr 05, 2021
purples25:
This post is just my way of letting off steam. It is truly not easy to take care of teenagers. Those who have teenagers they care for can probably relate, and those who do not can have an inkling of what its like.

I am a senior sister and second mother to my 14 year old youngest brother, and 15 year old male cousin. They are such characters that they each deserve their own section. Here goes:

Troublesome Teenager Number 1, My 15 year old Cousin: I love my cousin, but he is a serious case. When he came to live with my family, I resolved not to touch him or discipline him extensively. People staying with others tend to bring up accusations of abuse, anything you do to them is attributed to the fact that they are not your immediate family. As a result, I and my brothers handle him like an egg.

The boy took ample advantage of this. From being sullen and disciplined, he became very wild. Many times he would take offence to the slightest correction. He also goes out when he likes, picks whatever he wants from the kitchen and watches movies on my laptop from dawn till dusk. Answers me back as he likes from time to time. My brothers are his role models but if I correct him, that's where the problem lies. I think he feels I cannot and should not tame him. The funniest thing he ever did was starting to act up after he was told that the only reason I was not touching him was so as not to create issues between his mom and us. He became bolder and even tried to deepen his already deepening voice.

Whenever his mom comes around, he turns me to his enemy. He starts to perpetuate the notion that he is a victim of abuse. The last time his mom was around, he started shouting at me at his whim and when I got angry one day and slapped him, his mother finally made him a celebrated hero. She almost took him home by midnight that day, because the image of an abused boy that she wanted so badly had finally been portrayed to her.


Troublesome Teen Number 2, my 14 year old brother: I love my little brother as well. I tried to raise him like people raise kids abroad. Talking to him gently when he misbehaves, explaining to him, punishing by taking things away or just small reprimands....

That shii didn't work. He became the most troublesome little boy I knew. Whenever his friends are around, he wants to show off to them by talking over me, ignoring my demands. I started to discipline him but before long, he knew how to run to the neighbors house, taking the cane from me, and running outside where the discipline would become a spectacle. Sometimes he even yells at me too. He has tried to beat a few adults who tried to beat him. But they gave him a good beating grin

Since when he was small, 'he wants what he wants.' If I don't give him something, sometimes he would go and take it. Sometimes I would catch him. Time and time again, even with warnings, things still disappear at will.

When any kid around him is being bad, he wants to do two times what that kid is doing, and be loved for it. He feels that is love. From the time that my cousin came around, and we told him that we cannot touch our cousin, else it would be termed as abusing a family member from another mother.....he has taken it as proof of love that however we pardon our cousin, we must pardon him. He copies what our cousin does, does worse, and always defends himself with the fact that we leave our cousin, we dont spare him.

Now we have come to the last part, my experience with these two kids combined...


The Terrible Two: The two of them constantly answer me back, laugh and joke and even encourage me to come and punish them. They feel no amount of beating from me can break them, maybe because I am a woman. However, they have full fear and respect for the males around them. If i try to talk to them they act as if someone or something insignificant is talking. Few times though, they try to calm the wild spirits inside them, and behave.

Things still disappear at home, and even if we are the only ones at home, they both co operate and deny everything. The co operate to disrespect me. They start joking and laughing right after I'm done with my long warnings or advice talks. They tell me to come and punish them, that they will enjoy the punishment. They have turned my laptop to their permanent TV, day, night and midnight, i cant use it. If i hide it, they find it, turn it on, play whatever on it as early as 5 am till 12 or 1 on weekends. They put games there, got a game pad and play till thy kingdom come, all without my consent. They don't answer me, they do what they like when they like.

They are only tame at school. These are not kids that are meek. These are tall versions of Aki and Pawpaw that are already as tall as me at the moment.


This morning, my mom called me and told me that handling these teens is all about patience.

If you have had difficulties with teens, you can talk about your experience, to make this more interesting and educative. If you were a troublesome or troubled teen, you can also share.

Ciao! grin

I used to be an “unruly” teenager... grin
And now a professionally successful responsible young adult.

It’s a PHASE and they will most likely grow out of it...
Just keep emphasizing the positives and core basic VALUES.

PS: BTW, beating is the WORST method of raising kids...
It merely ingrains in kids that violence is okay and MIGHT IS RIGHT.

>

2 Likes

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by htdot: 2:32pm On Apr 05, 2021
purples25:
This post is just my way of letting off steam. It is truly not easy to take care of teenagers. Those who have teenagers they care for can probably relate, and those who do not can have an inkling of what its like.

I am a senior sister and second mother to my 14 year old youngest brother, and 15 year old male cousin. They are such characters that they each deserve their own section. Here goes:

Troublesome Teenager Number 1, My 15 year old Cousin: I love my cousin, but he is a serious case. When he came to live with my family, I resolved not to touch him or discipline him extensively. People staying with others tend to bring up accusations of abuse, anything you do to them is attributed to the fact that they are not your immediate family. As a result, I and my brothers handle him like an egg.

The boy took ample advantage of this. From being sullen and disciplined, he became very wild. Many times he would take offence to the slightest correction. He also goes out when he likes, picks whatever he wants from the kitchen and watches movies on my laptop from dawn till dusk. Answers me back as he likes from time to time. My brothers are his role models but if I correct him, that's where the problem lies. I think he feels I cannot and should not tame him. The funniest thing he ever did was starting to act up after he was told that the only reason I was not touching him was so as not to create issues between his mom and us. He became bolder and even tried to deepen his already deepening voice.

Whenever his mom comes around, he turns me to his enemy. He starts to perpetuate the notion that he is a victim of abuse. The last time his mom was around, he started shouting at me at his whim and when I got angry one day and slapped him, his mother finally made him a celebrated hero. She almost took him home by midnight that day, because the image of an abused boy that she wanted so badly had finally been portrayed to her.


Troublesome Teen Number 2, my 14 year old brother: I love my little brother as well. I tried to raise him like people raise kids abroad. Talking to him gently when he misbehaves, explaining to him, punishing by taking things away or just small reprimands....

That shii didn't work. He became the most troublesome little boy I knew. Whenever his friends are around, he wants to show off to them by talking over me, ignoring my demands. I started to discipline him but before long, he knew how to run to the neighbors house, taking the cane from me, and running outside where the discipline would become a spectacle. Sometimes he even yells at me too. He has tried to beat a few adults who tried to beat him. But they gave him a good beating grin

Since when he was small, 'he wants what he wants.' If I don't give him something, sometimes he would go and take it. Sometimes I would catch him. Time and time again, even with warnings, things still disappear at will.

When any kid around him is being bad, he wants to do two times what that kid is doing, and be loved for it. He feels that is love. From the time that my cousin came around, and we told him that we cannot touch our cousin, else it would be termed as abusing a family member from another mother.....he has taken it as proof of love that however we pardon our cousin, we must pardon him. He copies what our cousin does, does worse, and always defends himself with the fact that we leave our cousin, we dont spare him.

Now we have come to the last part, my experience with these two kids combined...


The Terrible Two: The two of them constantly answer me back, laugh and joke and even encourage me to come and punish them. They feel no amount of beating from me can break them, maybe because I am a woman. However, they have full fear and respect for the males around them. If i try to talk to them they act as if someone or something insignificant is talking. Few times though, they try to calm the wild spirits inside them, and behave.

Things still disappear at home, and even if we are the only ones at home, they both co operate and deny everything. The co operate to disrespect me. They start joking and laughing right after I'm done with my long warnings or advice talks. They tell me to come and punish them, that they will enjoy the punishment. They have turned my laptop to their permanent TV, day, night and midnight, i cant use it. If i hide it, they find it, turn it on, play whatever on it as early as 5 am till 12 or 1 on weekends. They put games there, got a game pad and play till thy kingdom come, all without my consent. They don't answer me, they do what they like when they like.

They are only tame at school. These are not kids that are meek. These are tall versions of Aki and Pawpaw that are already as tall as me at the moment.


This morning, my mom called me and told me that handling these teens is all about patience.

If you have had difficulties with teens, you can talk about your experience, to make this more interesting and educative. If you were a troublesome or troubled teen, you can also share.

Ciao! grin



If you are afraid of correcting them then, move to your boyfriend's house
Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by Nobody: 2:35pm On Apr 05, 2021
You have time.

we were all girls so I never had any teenage boys experience. Though my idowu was like a tomboy and was always trying to challenge my authority. I beat her to the point popsy came to my house to settle case. Even up the point before she got married, I still dey dash her.

My experience with my first male cousin who's 15 has been good so far as hes so respectful even though he's so tall that people sometimes think he's my boyfriend, the respect is there. He touches my phone only when I permit him.

When ever he's around, he takes over the chores without telling him to. And if I Hala, which I hardly do because he doesn't give me cause to, he sits tight.

Upbringing matters a lot in these childrens life. Also how you place yourself matters. My idowu was like that because from childhood we were all rolling on the floor together. So she felt we are age mates but I made sure I broke her. Now even with 4 children, she respects me more than my twin who was always soft on her, back then.

2 Likes

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by thatsleepboy1: 2:35pm On Apr 05, 2021
lol if I start talking ehn, the thread will contain 5 spaces.
Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by SmartyPants(m): 2:38pm On Apr 05, 2021
purples25:


Me? I beat them until people started treating me like I was crazy. Still, they acted like nothing happened. In other words 'odeshi' which means 'you're wasting your time.' They only tremble when the men in the house start to bellow at them.

My password, they will still find that one out. You know what happened with my phone? They come to put on the hotspot there too, and when i changed the password, I met my phone locked. They had tried to get the password so many times that the phone finally locked itself.

Its all good though. I believe they will grow and mature, even if their behavior right now is so painful to me.

Its rather obvious at this point that you can not tame those boys again unless you are the one giving them pocket money.
In our beating-based disciplinary culture, once the subject of your discipline no longer fears your aggression, then you will likely lose control over them.

You have men in the house whom they fear. Leverage that.

2 Likes

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by ekestic1976(f): 2:39pm On Apr 05, 2021
Gb'omo f'olomo now! Abi na by force ni?
Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by Nobody: 2:43pm On Apr 05, 2021
.
Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by Nobody: 2:48pm On Apr 05, 2021
Having a family of your own with kids around must be fun judging from the interactions here...., it's really very educative......... going through the interactions increase the urge to start a family but then the lack of finance will always bring you back to reality.

1 Like

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by Quim2: 2:54pm On Apr 05, 2021
purples25:
This post is just my way of letting off steam. It is truly not easy to take care of teenagers. Those who have teenagers they care for can probably relate, and those who do not can have an inkling of what its like.

I am a senior sister and second mother to my 14 year old youngest brother, and 15 year old male cousin. They are such characters that they each deserve their own section. Here goes:

Troublesome Teenager Number 1, My 15 year old Cousin: I love my cousin, but he is a serious case. When he came to live with my family, I resolved not to touch him or discipline him extensively. People staying with others tend to bring up accusations of abuse, anything you do to them is attributed to the fact that they are not your immediate family. As a result, I and my brothers handle him like an egg.

The boy took ample advantage of this. From being sullen and disciplined, he became very wild. Many times he would take offence to the slightest correction. He also goes out when he likes, picks whatever he wants from the kitchen and watches movies on my laptop from dawn till dusk. Answers me back as he likes from time to time. My brothers are his role models but if I correct him, that's where the problem lies. I think he feels I cannot and should not tame him. The funniest thing he ever did was starting to act up after he was told that the only reason I was not touching him was so as not to create issues between his mom and us. He became bolder and even tried to deepen his already deepening voice.

Whenever his mom comes around, he turns me to his enemy. He starts to perpetuate the notion that he is a victim of abuse. The last time his mom was around, he started shouting at me at his whim and when I got angry one day and slapped him, his mother finally made him a celebrated hero. She almost took him home by midnight that day, because the image of an abused boy that she wanted so badly had finally been portrayed to her.


Troublesome Teen Number 2, my 14 year old brother: I love my little brother as well. I tried to raise him like people raise kids abroad. Talking to him gently when he misbehaves, explaining to him, punishing by taking things away or just small reprimands....

That shii didn't work. He became the most troublesome little boy I knew. Whenever his friends are around, he wants to show off to them by talking over me, ignoring my demands. I started to discipline him but before long, he knew how to run to the neighbors house, taking the cane from me, and running outside where the discipline would become a spectacle. Sometimes he even yells at me too. He has tried to beat a few adults who tried to beat him. But they gave him a good beating grin

Since when he was small, 'he wants what he wants.' If I don't give him something, sometimes he would go and take it. Sometimes I would catch him. Time and time again, even with warnings, things still disappear at will.

When any kid around him is being bad, he wants to do two times what that kid is doing, and be loved for it. He feels that is love. From the time that my cousin came around, and we told him that we cannot touch our cousin, else it would be termed as abusing a family member from another mother.....he has taken it as proof of love that however we pardon our cousin, we must pardon him. He copies what our cousin does, does worse, and always defends himself with the fact that we leave our cousin, we dont spare him.

Now we have come to the last part, my experience with these two kids combined...


The Terrible Two: The two of them constantly answer me back, laugh and joke and even encourage me to come and punish them. They feel no amount of beating from me can break them, maybe because I am a woman. However, they have full fear and respect for the males around them. If i try to talk to them they act as if someone or something insignificant is talking. Few times though, they try to calm the wild spirits inside them, and behave.

Things still disappear at home, and even if we are the only ones at home, they both co operate and deny everything. The co operate to disrespect me. They start joking and laughing right after I'm done with my long warnings or advice talks. They tell me to come and punish them, that they will enjoy the punishment. They have turned my laptop to their permanent TV, day, night and midnight, i cant use it. If i hide it, they find it, turn it on, play whatever on it as early as 5 am till 12 or 1 on weekends. They put games there, got a game pad and play till thy kingdom come, all without my consent. They don't answer me, they do what they like when they like.

They are only tame at school. These are not kids that are meek. These are tall versions of Aki and Pawpaw that are already as tall as me at the moment.


This morning, my mom called me and told me that handling these teens is all about patience.

If you have had difficulties with teens, you can talk about your experience, to make this more interesting and educative. If you were a troublesome or troubled teen, you can also share.

Ciao! ;D3w




Its cos you are a woman.

Start by setting a password on your pc. Use a pet name and your year of birth separated by a dollar sign $

Never open that pc to enter the password when they are in the sane room with you.

Do this fast cos they will soon start watching porn. And stop caning them, they are men who are stronger than you. Stop matching them strength for strength or one day they, in anger, disgrace you.
.
As a mother find other ways.

Rest assured those buys love you sha. They are just being boys. The day a man will hurt you is the day you know they are your soldiers

Cheers!

3 Likes

Re: Life With Two Stubborn Teenage Boys : My Experience. by googlelove: 2:57pm On Apr 05, 2021
Two years from now, you would be at the receiving end of your overpampering and overindulgence. You failed to mould the mortar when it was soft but now it is a rock. From experience, they need a father figure in their lives.

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