purples25:


Me? I beat them until people started treating me like I was crazy. Still, they acted like nothing happened. In other words 'odeshi' which means 'you're wasting your time.' They only tremble when the men in the house start to bellow at them.

My password, they will still find that one out. You know what happened with my phone? They come to put on the hotspot there too, and when i changed the password, I met my phone locked. They had tried to get the password so many times that the phone finally locked itself.

Its all good though. I believe they will grow and mature, even if their behavior right now is so painful to me.

i laugh in swahilli. I have their type before is Punishment that i used to correct all the chinchin in his head, me myself wey get Bsc hons in stubbornness, you see that cousins I'll do what i want to do kilokan boss

Sorry Op, i sha will say ur family was free handed with discipline, our last boy is 23yrs and him sha still they chop beating if him cross line, and at my age i dare not talk back to my elder sister unless say i don settle APAMS for my funeral, na my whole family go beat me enter comma.

I guess u people are Oyibo styled family, well mine is pure African where even a 1day age difference matters. And na so i go train my own children

purples25:


Me? I beat them until people started treating me like I was crazy. Still, they acted like nothing happened. In other words 'odeshi' which means 'you're wasting your time.' They only tremble when the men in the house start to bellow at them.

My password, they will still find that one out. You know what happened with my phone? They come to put on the hotspot there too, and when i changed the password, I met my phone locked. They had tried to get the password so many times that the phone finally locked itself.

Its all good though. I believe they will grow and mature, even if their behavior right now is so painful to me.

seems to me like u are enjoying their attitude...until they gang up and harm u one day, u go know say u need yo be firm... please dont train ur kids like this oo, u go spoil them, the men in the house dont have 2 heads, u can also ack like a man wen with them instead been soft.. u go dey alright

Lengthy post.. Can someone help me to summarize it??

purples25:


Late twenties.

i checked ur DP, i now see why they didn't take u serious,

purples25:


Thanks, this is good.

I have two with me, 15 and 11, all boys.

Easy way to handle them? Master the art of speaking really really few words. I mean, very minimal. Speak to them only if it is extremely necessary, else, don't speak to them at all. Yet, keep doing your part as the older sibling.
Buy them what can afford just leave it for them in their various corners or however, drop the gifts when they are out for school. Let them come to you ALWAYS, not the other way round.

NEVER send them on errands again, I can't over stress this part. Get up and do your work. If you're the "chef" of the house, do all your cooking alone, don't worry, it won't last long, but have it in mind that you may do this more than 5 months, depending on how well you do this. Cook, dish for them, don't bother ask them to go get their meals. Just eat yours. Never drag the remote with them. This part is tough, especially, if you have "Zeeworld" or the rest to follow. You can follow the episodes on YouTube if you can afford it. If they know how important the programme is to you, yet you don't bother them anymore, the magic would begin.

You say they like games. Don't lock your laptop just yet, it would cause them to resent you.
I would recommend that you learn how to play PS games. Don't let them teach, NEVER let know you are learning to play. This is your family, you must develop yourself in a way that helps you develop them too. Learn the game if you like, this just to add flavour to your dominance when the time comes.

On a given weekend, while there are playing, tell them that you would love to play the best among them. Say this with calm and mature demeanor. Handle the pad and flog the hell out of one. Play just one game and drop the pad. Walk out like a boss. Teenage boys hate to be dominated by older female siblings. Dominate them with your mind without breaking a sweat.

Do things that are obviously their chores in their presence. Never grumble nor utter a word. At first, they would laugh and make jest, but as time passes by, they would begin to grow consciences and begin to feel guilty. The day any of them tell you "I am sorry for not doing this sister or whatever they call you" then the battle is halfway won.

The key point here is that, let them ALWAYS come to you, never go to them, NEVER.

And pray for them too. You will be fine. Don't let these boys ruin your happiness.

God bless you dear, but pls be calmind down small small... Boys will be boys.tgey'll both grow to love and treasure you, you can count on that.

Now I have read all responses truly families are different and they train children differently

I even read a poster saying do not send them on errands, if a 28 yr old can't send a 15yr old on errand who will you now send

Even two year differnence you dare not talk back at your elder sister.

Shuu

(

omaclarry:
Sorry Op, i sha will say ur family was free handed with discipline, our last boy is 23yrs and him sha still they chop beating if him cross line, and[b] at my age i dare not talk back to my elder sister unless say i don settle APAMS for my funeral[/b], na my whole family go beat me enter comma.

I guess u people are Oyibo styled family, well mine is pure African where even a 1day age difference matters. And na so i go train my own children

The bolded got me laughing

There are some men who would not drink alcohol in the presence of their mother, mature married men with children ooo, just out of respect and the training they received while coming up.


Anyway these days a lot of kids are spoilt and lack respect, one has to put in extra work on his/ her kids

[quote author=purples25 post=100147691]This post is just my way of letting off steam. It is truly not easy to take care of teenagers. Those who have teenagers they care for can probably relate, and those who do not can have an inkling of what its like.

I am a senior sister and second mother to my 14 year old youngest brother, and 15 year old male cousin. They are such characters that they each deserve their own section. Here goes:

Troublesome Teenager Number 1, My 15 year old Cousin: I love my cousin, but he is a serious case. When he came to live with my family, I resolved not to touch him or discipline him extensively. People staying with others tend to bring up accusations of abuse, anything you do to them is attributed to the fact that they are not your immediate family. As a result, I and my brothers handle him like an egg.

The boy took ample advantage of this. From being sullen and disciplined, he became very wild. Many times he would take offence to the slightest correction. He also goes out when he likes, picks whatever he wants from the kitchen and watches movies on my laptop from dawn till dusk. Answers me back as he likes from time to time. My brothers are his role models but if I correct him, that's where the problem lies. I think he feels I cannot and should not tame him. The funniest thing he ever did was starting to act up after he was told that the only reason I was not touching him was so as not to create issues between his mom and us. He became bolder and even tried to deepen his already deepening voice.

Whenever his mom comes around, he turns me to his enemy. He starts to perpetuate the notion that he is a victim of abuse. The last time his mom was around, he started shouting at me at his whim and when I got angry one day and slapped him, his mother finally made him a celebrated hero. She almost took him home by midnight that day, because the image of an abused boy that she wanted so badly had finally been portrayed to her.


Troublesome Teen Number 2, my 14 year old brother: I love my little brother as well. I tried to raise him like people raise kids abroad. Talking to him gently when he misbehaves, explaining to him, punishing by taking things away or just small reprimands....

That shii didn't work. He became the most troublesome little boy I knew. Whenever his friends are around, he wants to show off to them by talking over me, ignoring my demands. I started to discipline him but before long, he knew how to run to the neighbors house, taking the cane from me, and running outside where the discipline would become a spectacle. Sometimes he even yells at me too. He has tried to beat a few adults who tried to beat him. But they gave him a good beating

Since when he was small, 'he wants what he wants.' If I don't give him something, sometimes he would go and take it. Sometimes I would catch him. Time and time again, even with warnings, things still disappear at will.

When any kid around him is being bad, he wants to do two times what that kid is doing, and be loved for it. He feels that is love. From the time that my cousin came around, and we told him that we cannot touch our cousin, else it would be termed as abusing a family member from another mother.....he has taken it as proof of love that however we pardon our cousin, we must pardon him. He copies what our cousin does, does worse, and always defends himself with the fact that we leave our cousin, we dont spare him.

Now we have come to the last part, my experience with these two kids combined...


The Terrible Two: The two of them constantly answer me back, laugh and joke and even encourage me to come and punish them. They feel no amount of beating from me can break them, maybe because I am a woman. However, they have full fear and respect for the males around them. If i try to talk to them they act as if someone or something insignificant is talking. Few times though, they try to calm the wild spirits inside them, and behave.

Things still disappear at home, and even if we are the only ones at home, they both co operate and deny everything. The co operate to disrespect me. They start joking and laughing right after I'm done with my long warnings or advice talks. They tell me to come and punish them, that they will enjoy the punishment. They have turned my laptop to their permanent TV, day, night and midnight, i cant use it. If i hide it, they find it, turn it on, play whatever on it as early as 5 am till 12 or 1 on weekends. They put games there, got a game pad and play till thy kingdom come, all without my consent. They don't answer me, they do what they like when they like.

They are only tame at school. These are not kids that are meek. These are tall versions of Aki and Pawpaw that are already as tall as me at the moment.


This morning, my mom called me and told me that handling these teens is all about patience.

If you have had difficulties with teens, you can talk about your experience, to make this more interesting and educative. If you were a troublesome or troubled teen, you can also share.

Ciao!

spare the rod and spoil the child

(Proverbs 13:24)

Read the Bible for more wisdom.

SeriouslySense:
Aha, I like this advise, there needs to be some sort of healthy distance, maybe they see her and fantasize a babe,

Funny you!
How would they ever try fantasize over an elderly?
Bro, this one is really expensive o.

What do you expect when you allow your cousin to disrespect you in the beginning without consequences?.... because you are afraid of being labeled an abuser? The slap you gave him in the presence of his mother is the slap he should've got the first moment he showed disrespect or disregarded your instruction. You set no boundaries. As he grows older the situation will become worse. Let his mother know you can no longer tolerate his behaviour and will be sending him back this Saturday. There is no need for discussion. It is family members like him that will send kidnappers or robbers to your home. Keep doing nothing to have "good name"... you'll learn the hard way.
Same for your brother... as big sister... draw the line. Are you dependent on them?... or they are dependent on you? A child is as bad as his parent or guardian allow him to be.

All I know is that the price of sniper don come down now for market. I no get time for nonsense

Nonsense write up. So make we come beat those rascals for you? Shame on you. This is naija. Beat the hell out of them but with love. I love children but I don't condone nonsense. Let them.know why they are being punished. Now I bet, get ready cos soon, I mean soon, the hunter will become the bush meat i mean these boys will beat the hell out of you and it won't be funny. You better strike before u r struck.







quote author=purples25 post=100147691]This post is just my way of letting off steam. It is truly not easy to take care of teenagers. Those who have teenagers they care for can probably relate, and those who do not can have an inkling of what its like.

I am a senior sister and second mother to my 14 year old youngest brother, and 15 year old male cousin. They are such characters that they each deserve their own section. Here goes:

Troublesome Teenager Number 1, My 15 year old Cousin: I love my cousin, but he is a serious case. When he came to live with my family, I resolved not to touch him or discipline him extensively. People staying with others tend to bring up accusations of abuse, anything you do to them is attributed to the fact that they are not your immediate family. As a result, I and my brothers handle him like an egg.

The boy took ample advantage of this. From being sullen and disciplined, he became very wild. Many times he would take offence to the slightest correction. He also goes out when he likes, picks whatever he wants from the kitchen and watches movies on my laptop from dawn till dusk. Answers me back as he likes from time to time. My brothers are his role models but if I correct him, that's where the problem lies. I think he feels I cannot and should not tame him. The funniest thing he ever did was starting to act up after he was told that the only reason I was not touching him was so as not to create issues between his mom and us. He became bolder and even tried to deepen his already deepening voice.

Whenever his mom comes around, he turns me to his enemy. He starts to perpetuate the notion that he is a victim of abuse. The last time his mom was around, he started shouting at me at his whim and when I got angry one day and slapped him, his mother finally made him a celebrated hero. She almost took him home by midnight that day, because the image of an abused boy that she wanted so badly had finally been portrayed to her.


Troublesome Teen Number 2, my 14 year old brother: I love my little brother as well. I tried to raise him like people raise kids abroad. Talking to him gently when he misbehaves, explaining to him, punishing by taking things away or just small reprimands....

That shii didn't work. He became the most troublesome little boy I knew. Whenever his friends are around, he wants to show off to them by talking over me, ignoring my demands. I started to discipline him but before long, he knew how to run to the neighbors house, taking the cane from me, and running outside where the discipline would become a spectacle. Sometimes he even yells at me too. He has tried to beat a few adults who tried to beat him. But they gave him a good beating

Since when he was small, 'he wants what he wants.' If I don't give him something, sometimes he would go and take it. Sometimes I would catch him. Time and time again, even with warnings, things still disappear at will.

When any kid around him is being bad, he wants to do two times what that kid is doing, and be loved for it. He feels that is love. From the time that my cousin came around, and we told him that we cannot touch our cousin, else it would be termed as abusing a family member from another mother.....he has taken it as proof of love that however we pardon our cousin, we must pardon him. He copies what our cousin does, does worse, and always defends himself with the fact that we leave our cousin, we dont spare him.

Now we have come to the last part, my experience with these two kids combined...


The Terrible Two: The two of them constantly answer me back, laugh and joke and even encourage me to come and punish them. They feel no amount of beating from me can break them, maybe because I am a woman. However, they have full fear and respect for the males around them. If i try to talk to them they act as if someone or something insignificant is talking. Few times though, they try to calm the wild spirits inside them, and behave.

Things still disappear at home, and even if we are the only ones at home, they both co operate and deny everything. The co operate to disrespect me. They start joking and laughing right after I'm done with my long warnings or advice talks. They tell me to come and punish them, that they will enjoy the punishment. They have turned my laptop to their permanent TV, day, night and midnight, i cant use it. If i hide it, they find it, turn it on, play whatever on it as early as 5 am till 12 or 1 on weekends. They put games there, got a game pad and play till thy kingdom come, all without my consent. They don't answer me, they do what they like when they like.

They are only tame at school. These are not kids that are meek. These are tall versions of Aki and Pawpaw that are already as tall as me at the moment.


This morning, my mom called me and told me that handling these teens is all about patience.

If you have had difficulties with teens, you can talk about your experience, to make this more interesting and educative. If you were a troublesome or troubled teen, you can also share.

Ciao!



[/quote]

First off.. your cousin shd leace. E no get mama ni?
Make e go trouble him mama na..
As par ur younger brother...
The earlier u guys in the house start handling him with iron hand.. the better
Bring soldiers to come give dem good drilling..
Change ur laptop password..
If things go missing. Find soldiers wey go carry dem go barracks mk dem go flex there for 2 or 3 days...
Please just do this n it has to be in agreement with the older males in d house

[quote author=purples25 post=100147691]This post is just my way of letting off steam. It is truly not easy to take care of teenagers. Those who have teenagers they care for can probably relate, and those who do not can have an inkling of what its like.

I am a senior sister and second mother to my 14 year old youngest brother, and 15 year old male cousin. They are such characters that they each deserve their own section. Here goes:

Troublesome Teenager Number 1, My 15 year old Cousin: I love my cousin, but he is a serious case. When he came to live with my family, I resolved not to touch him or discipline him extensively. People staying with others tend to bring up accusations of abuse, anything you do to them is attributed to the fact that they are not your immediate family. As a result, I and my brothers handle him like an egg.

The boy took ample advantage of this. From being sullen and disciplined, he became very wild. Many times he would take offence to the slightest correction. He also goes out when he likes, picks whatever he wants from the kitchen and watches movies on my laptop from dawn till dusk. Answers me back as he likes from time to time. My brothers are his role models but if I correct him, that's where the problem lies. I think he feels I cannot and should not tame him. The funniest thing he ever did was starting to act up after he was told that the only reason I was not touching him was so as not to create issues between his mom and us. He became bolder and even tried to deepen his already deepening voice.

Whenever his mom comes around, he turns me to his enemy. He starts to perpetuate the notion that he is a victim of abuse. The last time his mom was around, he started shouting at me at his whim and when I got angry one day and slapped him, his mother finally made him a celebrated hero. She almost took him home by midnight that day, because the image of an abused boy that she wanted so badly had finally been portrayed to her.


Troublesome Teen Number 2, my 14 year old brother: I love my little brother as well. I tried to raise him like people raise kids abroad. Talking to him gently when he misbehaves, explaining to him, punishing by taking things away or just small reprimands....

That shii didn't work. He became the most troublesome little boy I knew. Whenever his friends are around, he wants to show off to them by talking over me, ignoring my demands. I started to discipline him but before long, he knew how to run to the neighbors house, taking the cane from me, and running outside where the discipline would become a spectacle. Sometimes he even yells at me too. He has tried to beat a few adults who tried to beat him. But they gave him a good beating

Since when he was small, 'he wants what he wants.' If I don't give him something, sometimes he would go and take it. Sometimes I would catch him. Time and time again, even with warnings, things still disappear at will.

When any kid around him is being bad, he wants to do two times what that kid is doing, and be loved for it. He feels that is love. From the time that my cousin came around, and we told him that we cannot touch our cousin, else it would be termed as abusing a family member from another mother.....he has taken it as proof of love that however we pardon our cousin, we must pardon him. He copies what our cousin does, does worse, and always defends himself with the fact that we leave our cousin, we dont spare him.

Now we have come to the last part, my experience with these two kids combined...


The Terrible Two: The two of them constantly answer me back, laugh and joke and even encourage me to come and punish them. They feel no amount of beating from me can break them, maybe because I am a woman. However, they have full fear and respect for the males around them. If i try to talk to them they act as if someone or something insignificant is talking. Few times though, they try to calm the wild spirits inside them, and behave.

Things still disappear at home, and even if we are the only ones at home, they both co operate and deny everything. The co operate to disrespect me. They start joking and laughing right after I'm done with my long warnings or advice talks. They tell me to come and punish them, that they will enjoy the punishment. They have turned my laptop to their permanent TV, day, night and midnight, i cant use it. If i hide it, they find it, turn it on, play whatever on it as early as 5 am till 12 or 1 on weekends. They put games there, got a game pad and play till thy kingdom come, all without my consent. They don't answer me, they do what they like when they like.

They are only tame at school. These are not kids that are meek. These are tall versions of Aki and Pawpaw that are already as tall as me at the moment.


This morning, my mom called me and told me that handling these teens is all about patience.

If you have had difficulties with teens, you can talk about your experience, to make this more interesting and educative. If you were a troublesome or troubled teen, you can also share.

Ciao!


I work in Church
So some teenagers do night dance rehearsals at least twice a week.
On a certain day I forget they'll come, so, they couldn't use the church hall.
I met with their leader to apologize, the guy cool about it. But this other boy was something else, he came out like a sore thumb. During their next night rehearsal
The young man was busy calling me out while I was trying to sleep. When sleeping he shout out my name and I was startled, I pretended I didn't hear him. He couldn't see me directly so, didn't know my reaction.
He did second time and on the third in the course of the night, I had to react and they were all shocked. I took a microphone rod and landed it on his thigh and he became calm and quiet.
Later that morning his leader came and apologize and thanked me for putting him in place, that he was getting out of hand.
Though the are ways to deal with them, some are really unplugged.
It is well with them.

purples25:
This post is just my way of letting off steam. It is truly not easy to take care of teenagers. Those who have teenagers they care for can probably relate, and those who do not can have an inkling of what its like.

I am a senior sister and second mother to my 14 year old youngest brother, and 15 year old male cousin. They are such characters that they each deserve their own section. Here goes:

Troublesome Teenager Number 1, My 15 year old Cousin: I love my cousin, but he is a serious case. When he came to live with my family, I resolved not to touch him or discipline him extensively. People staying with others tend to bring up accusations of abuse, anything you do to them is attributed to the fact that they are not your immediate family. As a result, I and my brothers handle him like an egg.

The boy took ample advantage of this. From being sullen and disciplined, he became very wild. Many times he would take offence to the slightest correction. He also goes out when he likes, picks whatever he wants from the kitchen and watches movies on my laptop from dawn till dusk. Answers me back as he likes from time to time. My brothers are his role models but if I correct him, that's where the problem lies. I think he feels I cannot and should not tame him. The funniest thing he ever did was starting to act up after he was told that the only reason I was not touching him was so as not to create issues between his mom and us. He became bolder and even tried to deepen his already deepening voice.

Whenever his mom comes around, he turns me to his enemy. He starts to perpetuate the notion that he is a victim of abuse. The last time his mom was around, he started shouting at me at his whim and when I got angry one day and slapped him, his mother finally made him a celebrated hero. She almost took him home by midnight that day, because the image of an abused boy that she wanted so badly had finally been portrayed to her.


Troublesome Teen Number 2, my 14 year old brother: I love my little brother as well. I tried to raise him like people raise kids abroad. Talking to him gently when he misbehaves, explaining to him, punishing by taking things away or just small reprimands....

That shii didn't work. He became the most troublesome little boy I knew. Whenever his friends are around, he wants to show off to them by talking over me, ignoring my demands. I started to discipline him but before long, he knew how to run to the neighbors house, taking the cane from me, and running outside where the discipline would become a spectacle. Sometimes he even yells at me too. He has tried to beat a few adults who tried to beat him. But they gave him a good beating

Since when he was small, 'he wants what he wants.' If I don't give him something, sometimes he would go and take it. Sometimes I would catch him. Time and time again, even with warnings, things still disappear at will.

When any kid around him is being bad, he wants to do two times what that kid is doing, and be loved for it. He feels that is love. From the time that my cousin came around, and we told him that we cannot touch our cousin, else it would be termed as abusing a family member from another mother.....he has taken it as proof of love that however we pardon our cousin, we must pardon him. He copies what our cousin does, does worse, and always defends himself with the fact that we leave our cousin, we dont spare him.

Now we have come to the last part, my experience with these two kids combined...


The Terrible Two: The two of them constantly answer me back, laugh and joke and even encourage me to come and punish them. They feel no amount of beating from me can break them, maybe because I am a woman. However, they have full fear and respect for the males around them. If i try to talk to them they act as if someone or something insignificant is talking. Few times though, they try to calm the wild spirits inside them, and behave.

Things still disappear at home, and even if we are the only ones at home, they both co operate and deny everything. The co operate to disrespect me. They start joking and laughing right after I'm done with my long warnings or advice talks. They tell me to come and punish them, that they will enjoy the punishment. They have turned my laptop to their permanent TV, day, night and midnight, i cant use it. If i hide it, they find it, turn it on, play whatever on it as early as 5 am till 12 or 1 on weekends. They put games there, got a game pad and play till thy kingdom come, all without my consent. They don't answer me, they do what they like when they like.

They are only tame at school. These are not kids that are meek. These are tall versions of Aki and Pawpaw that are already as tall as me at the moment.


This morning, my mom called me and told me that handling these teens is all about patience.

If you have had difficulties with teens, you can talk about your experience, to make this more interesting and educative. If you were a troublesome or troubled teen, you can also share.

Ciao!

Hey! What's the latest with those
2 lovable brats?


My younger sister's son who just
clocked 17 was already giving out stubborn vibes from the ages of 15-16 towards his mum just like your younger bruv and cousin did to you.


He's tech savvy and at the age of 14 he could do awesome things with mobile phones and would grab his mum's laptop without permission to watch movies and more. While being punished he would ask for
forgiveness since he is the first born... The nerve!


I read years back in a 2004
Newsweek magazine that the
nerves in the Pre-frontal Cortex of boys are not fully developed until the age of 25! This was regarded
by the scientists who used brain
scans as the main reason for the trigger in the anti-social and risky behaviors by teenagers especially the boys.


The Pre-frontal Cortex in people
regulates social skills!


Last but not least, have you
started achieving success with
the awesome strategies given
to you here on your tread?


Thanks for the hilarious and awesome thread.

Ciao.

Konquest:

Hey! What's the latest with those
2 lovable brats?

My younger sister's son who just
clocked 17 was already giving out stubborn vibes from the ages of 15-16 to his mum just like your younger bruv and cousin did to you.

He's tech savvy and at the age of 14 he could do awesome things with mobile phones and would grab his mum's laptop without permission to watch movies and more. While being punished he would ask for
forgiveness since he is the first born... The nerve!

I read years back in a 2004
Newsweek magazine that the
nerves in the Pre-frontal Cortex of boys are not fully developed until the age of 25! This was regarded
by the scientists who used brain
scans as the main reason for the trigger in the anti-social and risky behaviors by teenagers especially the boys.


The Pre-frontal Cortex in people
regulates social skills!


Last but not least, have you achieving success with the awesome strategies given to
you here on your tread?


Thanks for the hilarious and awesome thread.

Ciao.

No wonder the come to Nairaland to act the fools

purples25:
This post is just my way of letting off steam. It is truly not easy to take care of teenagers. Those who have teenagers they care for can probably relate, and those who do not can have an inkling of what its like.

I am a senior sister and second mother to my 14 year old youngest brother, and 15 year old male cousin. They are such characters that they each deserve their own section. Here goes:

Troublesome Teenager Number 1, My 15 year old Cousin: I love my cousin, but he is a serious case. When he came to live with my family, I resolved not to touch him or discipline him extensively. People staying with others tend to bring up accusations of abuse, anything you do to them is attributed to the fact that they are not your immediate family. As a result, I and my brothers handle him like an egg.

The boy took ample advantage of this. From being sullen and disciplined, he became very wild. Many times he would take offence to the slightest correction. He also goes out when he likes, picks whatever he wants from the kitchen and watches movies on my laptop from dawn till dusk. Answers me back as he likes from time to time. My brothers are his role models but if I correct him, that's where the problem lies. I think he feels I cannot and should not tame him. The funniest thing he ever did was starting to act up after he was told that the only reason I was not touching him was so as not to create issues between his mom and us. He became bolder and even tried to deepen his already deepening voice.

Whenever his mom comes around, he turns me to his enemy. He starts to perpetuate the notion that he is a victim of abuse. The last time his mom was around, he started shouting at me at his whim and when I got angry one day and slapped him, his mother finally made him a celebrated hero. She almost took him home by midnight that day, because the image of an abused boy that she wanted so badly had finally been portrayed to her.


Troublesome Teen Number 2, my 14 year old brother: I love my little brother as well. I tried to raise him like people raise kids abroad. Talking to him gently when he misbehaves, explaining to him, punishing by taking things away or just small reprimands....

That shii didn't work. He became the most troublesome little boy I knew. Whenever his friends are around, he wants to show off to them by talking over me, ignoring my demands. I started to discipline him but before long, he knew how to run to the neighbors house, taking the cane from me, and running outside where the discipline would become a spectacle. Sometimes he even yells at me too. He has tried to beat a few adults who tried to beat him. But they gave him a good beating

Since when he was small, 'he wants what he wants.' If I don't give him something, sometimes he would go and take it. Sometimes I would catch him. Time and time again, even with warnings, things still disappear at will.

When any kid around him is being bad, he wants to do two times what that kid is doing, and be loved for it. He feels that is love. From the time that my cousin came around, and we told him that we cannot touch our cousin, else it would be termed as abusing a family member from another mother.....he has taken it as proof of love that however we pardon our cousin, we must pardon him. He copies what our cousin does, does worse, and always defends himself with the fact that we leave our cousin, we dont spare him.

Now we have come to the last part, my experience with these two kids combined...


The Terrible Two: The two of them constantly answer me back, laugh and joke and even encourage me to come and punish them. They feel no amount of beating from me can break them, maybe because I am a woman. However, they have full fear and respect for the males around them. If i try to talk to them they act as if someone or something insignificant is talking. Few times though, they try to calm the wild spirits inside them, and behave.

Things still disappear at home, and even if we are the only ones at home, they both co operate and deny everything. The co operate to disrespect me. They start joking and laughing right after I'm done with my long warnings or advice talks. They tell me to come and punish them, that they will enjoy the punishment. They have turned my laptop to their permanent TV, day, night and midnight, i cant use it. If i hide it, they find it, turn it on, play whatever on it as early as 5 am till 12 or 1 on weekends. They put games there, got a game pad and play till thy kingdom come, all without my consent. They don't answer me, they do what they like when they like.

They are only tame at school. These are not kids that are meek. These are tall versions of Aki and Pawpaw that are already as tall as me at the moment.


This morning, my mom called me and told me that handling these teens is all about patience.

If you have had difficulties with teens, you can talk about your experience, to make this more interesting and educative. If you were a troublesome or troubled teen, you can also share.

Ciao!

The truth in this is that you have time to rattle with them

Password your Laptop

Distance yourself from them if possible

Engage the men at home to discipline them not you

Because of your familiarity with them, they have understood you more than you have for them

So they can even predict your next line of action

IamNumeroUno:


I have two with me, 15 and 11, all boys.

Easy way to handle them? Master the art of speaking really really few words. I mean, very minimal. Speak to them only if it is extremely necessary, else, don't speak to them at all. Yet, keep doing your part as the older sibling.
Buy them what can afford just leave it for them in their various corners or however, drop the gifts when they are out for school. Let them come to you ALWAYS, not the other way round.

NEVER send them on errands again, I can't over stress this part. Get up and do your work. If you're the "chef" of the house, do all your cooking alone, don't worry, it won't last long, but have it in mind that you may do this more than 5 months, depending on how well you do this. Cook, dish for them, don't bother ask them to go get their meals. Just eat yours. Never drag the remote with them. This part is tough, especially, if you have "Zeeworld" or the rest to follow. You can follow the episodes on YouTube if you can afford it. If they know how important the programme is to you, yet you don't bother them anymore, the magic would begin.

You say they like games. Don't lock your laptop just yet, it would cause them to resent you.
I would recommend that you learn how to play PS games. Don't let them teach, NEVER let know you are learning to play. This is your family, you must develop yourself in a way that helps you develop them too. Learn the game if you like, this just to add flavour to your dominance when the time comes.

On a given weekend, while there are playing, tell them that you would love to play the best among them. Say this with calm and mature demeanor. Handle the pad and flog the hell out of one. Play just one game and drop the pad. Walk out like a boss. Teenage boys hate to be dominated by older female siblings. Dominate them with your mind without breaking a sweat.

Do things that are obviously their chores in their presence. Never grumble nor utter a word. At first, they would laugh and make jest, but as time passes by, they would begin to grow consciences and begin to feel guilty. The day any of them tell you "I am sorry for not doing this sister or whatever they call you" then the battle is halfway won.

The key point here is that, let them ALWAYS come to you, never go to them, NEVER.

And pray for them too. You will be fine. Don't let these boys ruin your happiness.

... I've been cracking up
so hard here. Look at how these kids are making we the adults to scamper about. Lol

Thanks to the Internet these
young teenagers have been cornered.

Ishilove:

No wonder they come to Nairaland to act the fools

Yup!

That's why I've learned to
develop empathy towards
younger people's exuberance
and rudeness offline and
online.

The stubborness and risk-taking
can only be managed till the
Pre-frontal Cortex nerves get
connected fully at about 25
years of age. This brain process
or nerve connection is even
faster in females than in boys.

I nearly fell off my chair when
I first read that 2004 Newsweek magazine, and it is still in my
library collection.

Ciao.

Konquest:

... I've been cracking up
so hard here. Look at how these kids are making we the adults to scamper about. Lol

Thanks to the Internet these
young teenagers have been cornered.

Hahahaha

Konquest:

Hey! What's the latest with those
2 lovable brats?


My younger sister's son who just
clocked 17 was already giving out stubborn vibes from the ages of 15-16 towards his mum just like your younger bruv and cousin did to you.


He's tech savvy and at the age of 14 he could do awesome things with mobile phones and would grab his mum's laptop without permission to watch movies and more. While being punished he would ask for
forgiveness since he is the first born... The nerve!


I read years back in a 2004
Newsweek magazine that the
nerves in the Pre-frontal Cortex of boys are not fully developed until the age of 25! This was regarded
by the scientists who used brain
scans as the main reason for the trigger in the anti-social and risky behaviors by teenagers especially the boys.


The Pre-frontal Cortex in people
regulates social skills!


Last but not least, have you
started achieving success with
the awesome strategies given
to you here on your tread?


Thanks for the hilarious and awesome thread.

Ciao.

hello

I'm glad you enjoyed this funny thread. I'm also glad that you put down some facts about the teens you know. It makes me feel that I'm not alone. Well, my teen brother and cousin are good, stubborn as usual. This morning my teen brother raised hell because we told him we would not be giving him the 35 000 meant for his lesson fees. He wants to pay the money by himself. He doesn't want my mom or I to follow him to school. It would not be cool you know (lol) . He wishes with all his heart that the boys, the men, were at home. Was shouting at us that women have issues. Well, he can wail forever, but I cannot give him that money as I will be held accountable for anything that happens to it.

The other one is also stubborn, won't stop calling people the funniest names I've ever heard...has no issue with bad words too...

They'll grow out of it.

I used the solutions suggested to me here, and though these kids are still 'strong heads', I actually control more now. I learnt how to use those things they like to make them behave.

Thanks for asking about them, and discussing the issue... you have such a nice attitude.

ghettochild:
First off.. your cousin shd leace. E no get mama ni?
Make e go trouble him mama na..
As par ur younger brother...
The earlier u guys in the house start handling him with iron hand.. the better
Bring soldiers to come give dem good drilling..
Change ur laptop password..
If things go missing. Find soldiers wey go carry dem go barracks mk dem go flex there for 2 or 3 days...
Please just do this n it has to be in agreement with the older males in d house

My mother has already threatened to get police the next time fish gets missing from the fridge, because we don't know the cat that is eating everything..

Lappy is now in my control... any day they misbehave they start reminding themselves that I won't give them the laptop...

Thanks jare. You have helped a lot.

frozen70:


The truth in this is that you have time to rattle with them

Password your Laptop

Distance yourself from them if possible

Engage the men at home to discipline them not you

Because of your familiarity with them, they have understood you more than you have for them

So they can even predict your next line of action

Thanks sis. That's what I am doing now. Much love from me to you.

This is late, but anyway,

To everyone that has contributed since this got to front page, I have to say I am immensely grateful. I have gotten a lot of support and help here. You are all so amazing.

purples25:


Thanks sis. That's what I am doing now. Much love from me to you.

Thanks dear

purples25:


My mother has already threatened to get police the next time fish gets missing from the fridge, because we don't know the cat that is eating everything..

Lappy is now in my control... any day they misbehave they start reminding themselves that I won't give them the laptop...

Thanks jare. You have helped a lot.

You welcome

ghettochild:

You welcome

How's our ex doing ,I mean aishat rene

[quote author=olamide0147 post=102099626]
How's our ex doing ,I mean aishat rene[/quote
Na past tense..
Dunno her whereabouts
We no longer communicate

[quote author=ghettochild post=102117899][/quote]
I really miss her pink tight pussy

olamide0147:

I really miss her pink tight pussy

You b bastard..

ghettochild:

You b bastard..

Lmao so you think na only u dey Bleep her for naija, u don't even surprise how I know rene she lives in visalia Califórnia with her lil daughter am sure she's grown now