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Is This Abnormal? Is Something Wrong With Me? Pls I Need Your Advise. / Is There Something Wrong With Me? / ADVICE Plssssss, Is Something Wrong WITH Me.. ? (2) (3) (4)
Is Something Wrong With Me? by Nobody: 10:25am On Apr 16, 2011 |
Hello house, I've been meaning to put this on here and get your opinions. Dont know why I hv always hesitated. Is it unusual that I dont want to get married, but simply want a kid (or none) from a woman I wont live with? My expectation is that she'd be very independent/busy and we'll hardly have time for a 'marriage' sort of, for living together. There'd definitely be no name exchange too. If that's difficult to understand, I only mean Angela Merkel and Sauer's kind of relationship, or Oprah's engagement with Graham, or Sartre's with deBeauvoir (for the famous examples), or the many other unknown or un-heard of cases in some corners round the world. Is this out-of-place? |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by jaybee3(m): 10:29am On Apr 16, 2011 |
R u going to be committed to that girl of your dream or u r just looking for freedom to roam like a lion |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Nobody: 10:37am On Apr 16, 2011 |
of course, I will be committed. Possibly very committed. That 'living together' just scares me, kind of |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by slymm(f): 10:44am On Apr 16, 2011 |
sweetheart, aint nothing in the world wrong with you. Marriage is a sham, and a failed institution. If i were in a more developed society, i will def do without marriage. its crazy how you are expected to live with one man in a house all your life, be there when you are angry, irritated, i mean its crap! I like my freedom, privacy and to top it up, how the hell am i supposed to have sex with just one man for the rest of my life?, never! Not gonna happen. monogamy!, marriage!, , all overrated! |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Pweety4me(f): 10:51am On Apr 16, 2011 |
^^Dayumm girl! ever found love?no offeinse @Poster u need to really GROW UP!! Ur idea is simply, pityful & lacks proper structure, to each his own if ur woman is fine with that so be it, but if ur just scared of life long commitment then u need to really work on urself first! |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Nobody: 10:57am On Apr 16, 2011 |
Pweety4me:u get me totally wrong. By 'lifelong commitment' I am guessing u mean 'marriage'. but that's only too narrow. Lifelong commitment has never been a problem, really. I have so many other things am committed to and I'm pretty sure it'll be lifelong. I'm only wondering if I can do without just this one, and if that's normal at all. A number of people are sure successful with it (see my examples above). I was also wondering if other people get the same ideas. no offeinse |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Natasha2(f): 11:01am On Apr 16, 2011 |
marriage is one of the best things in the world I can hardly wait to become 19 so that i would get married, it is a very beautiful institution which God has made for man and I see no reason why people would say its a bottle neck or whatever |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Pweety4me(f): 11:03am On Apr 16, 2011 |
sauer:Lol So tell me why don't you want to get married? and how long ave u had this idea of urs in mind? |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Nobody: 11:21am On Apr 16, 2011 |
Pweety4me:How long? Pretty much since I could think at all! It's not the 'marriage' actually. I can afford it. But the fact that it's just too traditional and pedestrian. The whole party/celebration thing for one is almost nauseating whenever I think of it. Why celebration!? Then the r(ear)aising children together thing. Then the routine life that follows is pathetic, sortof. Then again, I am only crazy about women who are strong achievers, like condolezza rice or merkel or marie curie (yea, i know she got married, but she did live d larger part of her life alone), or deBeauvoir. Generally, i take serious interest whenever I read/see a determined and successful/intelligent single woman. So maybe these are the types am attracted to. Maybe. Finally, the thought of living for my work and having a companion who's also living for her work is actually more pleasant to me. |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Pweety4me(f): 11:29am On Apr 16, 2011 |
I think maybe you don't trust yourself, or perhaps u don't trust the future? or maybe it could be even the wom |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Natasha2(f): 11:32am On Apr 16, 2011 |
sauer: so because of there is raising of children you should not celebrate your happiness of love in a big way abi? what are you really scared of cos you are confusing me just point out what you are scared of |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Nobody: 11:34am On Apr 16, 2011 |
Pweety4me:That hasn't even occurred to me. But I'm not in a therapy session with you now, or am i? You are wrong. I do trust people, women too. I earnestly look forward to the future, whatever it holds. I think maybe I respect women too much to want to play games with them. |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by slymm(f): 11:40am On Apr 16, 2011 |
@op, almost everyone in this country will tell you to explain yourself, or eventually believe there is something wrong with you. I am sure you have the time to explain to them, so continue doing so. Just understand that no explanation you give will ever be enough. Listen to your heart, its your life, and you should do exactly as you please as long as you are hurting no one. Believe it or not, i know women who feel exactly as you do. I for one, wishes i coulld |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Pweety4me(f): 11:40am On Apr 16, 2011 |
sauer:Ahaaaaaa! that is it, your scared of commitment ok, your conscious/unconscious fear is that u may cheat on her so u in order to avoid or be able to do that without there being any lethal implications, you want to hide away from any major ties , that could lead into great distruction, plainly your scared of the marriage institution! I am CORRECT my dear |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by slymm(f): 11:46am On Apr 16, 2011 |
@op, almost everyone in this country will tell you to explain yourself, or eventually believe there is something wrong with you. I am sure you have the time to explain to them, so continue doing so. Just understand that no explanation you give will ever be enough. Listen to your heart, its your life, and you should do exactly as you please as long as you are hurting no one. Believe it or not, i know women who feel exactly as you do. I for one, wishes i coulld |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Nobody: 11:50am On Apr 16, 2011 |
slymm:thax. that's comforting. Anyways, am just looking for trouble. Pweety4me:I have actually been reading Pweety's comments on nairaland and didn't know you can be this penetrating. YOu studied psychology or wat? or are you just skilled at drawing attention to the invisible in other's replies? The marriage insitution does not scare me; it disgusts me. It's too mundane, too routine, too clearly defined for a world that revels in ambiguity. I should be committed to this woman in the end, but won't consider marriage. A number of nigerian girls will never understand this though. |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Natasha2(f): 12:03pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
@sauer you got every thing all wrong you want to place marriage as at what others are saying it is you can always make a difference because people think marriage is cumbersome doesn't mean yours will be like that don''t be a pessimist |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Pweety4me(f): 12:06pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
sauer:Lol my dear i'm just being dramatic, and psychology has nothing on me! [s]I don't wish to get married either (not complety but had my own thoughts sha), i know what you mean but culture & nature being that i am woman has not given me an optionnn [/s] But seriously, u need to really search within your heart & mind find what you want, there is nothing wrong with you naturally but there could be some things wrong mentally that u have not come to realise, search within your soul very well. . .and speak to those that KNOW you best i think that will help also keep a close relationship with GOD!. U still really young? |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Nobody: 12:17pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
Pweety4me:as you wish Am not so young. Just completed university and in my early twenties. The last girl I talked to wasn't so into this, so we parted ways. She had claimed at the beginning she didn't want to get married. Maybe my independence is getting the better of me. Perhaps it's strange, but am just so certain this is what I want. My parents are so going to be furious, but then it's not their life. Natasha,,:I wont call myself an optimist, but am not a pessimist either. Just take life as it comes. |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Pweety4me(f): 12:20pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
^^^Brother unquote & requote me again, i edited my post! By the way about the girl?i do not get it?u said she didn't want to get married so what idea did she not agree with? & early 20's is young my dear, it is YOUNG! |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Nobody: 12:28pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
Pweety4me:okay. how old are you? I only know older people call younger people young. We spent time together then. She did say she didn't think much of marriage. Wont marry. And all the likes. I guess she changed her mind. Now I realise her earlier decision was only because she had suffered much in a past relationship. I should have know. The women who dont think much of marriage are those so absorbed in their careers/work to think much of marriage (I kinda like that, at the risk of repeating myself). |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Natasha2(f): 12:33pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
@saur getting married doesn't and wouldn't change anything trust me it all depends on how you want to plan your future I for one i'm a very ambitious person so definitly I want to get married to someone who is equally ambitious as I am. You love a girl and want to be with her then all of a sudden if you get married things would change how? fine you would have children but why don't you just view marriage as a legal and spiritual right one does to have their partner think of it as just a way to show the world you have chosen your wife or huzzy and then every thing will still fall into place |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by obowunmi(m): 12:34pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
@ OP, I agree with you, no one wants or needs a leech for a woman or a free-loading witch, who wants to hang out with you all the time disturbing and crowding ya space. |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Pweety4me(f): 12:35pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
sauer:Are you trying 2 worry me?WHAT ABOUT YOU?ARE YOU NOT MOTIVATED TO MAKE MONEY FOR URSELF?A CAREER?u need to stop this gloomy fascination with 'independant', 'work driven' women abeg ooo, na dem u want chop?where do u fit into the picture?or u want to be a play/boy or slave for them?talk something i dey hear! My age is insignificant my deary |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Nobody: 12:51pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
Pweety4me:na u sabi really . Am not sorry am fascinated with 'work-driven, independent' women. Yes, na dem i wan chop really. |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Nobody: 12:52pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
Natasha,,:I know a lot of women whose ambitions died naturally with their marriage |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Natasha2(f): 12:58pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
sauer:that doesn't mean mine or yours will die if we get married stop placing your own life on other peoples foundation always believe the fact that you are different for the fact that it happened to mr A doesn't mean it will happen to you |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Pweety4me(f): 1:03pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
sauer:Dem money? Dis guy no make me call u dat word o. . . |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Nobody: 1:56pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
Natasha,,:You do have a point. But the world will offer you bright hope only to cloud it with doubt and uncertainty. That arrangement is just what am much more comfortable with. What if you cant find a man equally ambitious? or sympathetic to your ideas? Will you go it alone? or does anything indicate you must find such person? Pweety4me:of course not. Am not interested in dem money. only in worthy companionship. For 'dat word' you have no need to |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Pweety4me(f): 2:03pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
sauer:Worthy or wealthy? I think u might ave a problem but i don't ave time now to see to it, so just HELP urself and take note of previous advises. Enjoy ur weekend. |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Natasha2(f): 2:50pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
sauer:I have already found him though we might not get married like he thought, we will help each other achieve our dreams that i'm sure of, |
Re: Is Something Wrong With Me? by Africanqueen2(f): 3:33pm On Apr 16, 2011 |
I totally understand you man, check out the words/phrase used to describe marriage 'web of union' 'bond' 'wedlock' 'chains' etc, but raising up a child alone ain't funny, its not advisable. God knows why he said a man and woman should come together and be one. the child needs both parents not a mother who hardly ve time nor a father who's scared of living with his mother, what effects do you think it will hve on the child? |
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