If I know that babe, I will advice her not t marry you.
Can't deal with mommy's boy.

ImaIma1:
Shebi your girlfriend should have just sat down in her own house jeje. Now your mother is expecting her to wash her clothes to show that she's a wife material. Meanwhile you have younger ones.

What are the younger ones doing when your mum is washing? Why can't she call them to come and wash the clothes. Should your mum even be washing when she has children there. But she is not calling her own children disrespectful. It is your fiancée she wants to drag.

Let your fiancée to make herself scarce to avoid see finish.

I blame the desperate girl who want to marry by all means.
Eye service has killed many young marriages cos u will start hearing stuffs like" she or he changed after marriage
Mbok.


Why will I visit the mum in the first place?
Don't I have self respect?
Visit with your guy officially and go your way.
The way you present yourself is how you will be treated.
Full stop.

Owologbo:

Is like you didn't see where he said she helped her to wash once after waiting for some time, and she doesn't know how to wash ?

Omoge Pandoro: Good day ma, You are washing? ooo bring it let me wash it for you

Mama: Wash wetin please our iyawo no dey wash cloth oo. Don't worry about it my daughter.


You will not only earn her respect but you have also demostrated that you are from a good home period!

(she and her would be husband can buy washing machine.)

Mindlog:


I know you won't repeat same if the fiancée happens to be a Caucasian (white) lady, how would the OP's mother test the oyibo woman to detect good and respecfull future wife?

And you think that the mother is a fool ? ofcourse there are plenty ways to catch a fish

Nawa for your mummy sef.. Wife wey u never marry, she Wan turn to house help..
If u come marry her nko, she go become slave

Ridiculous. I feel bad for your fiancée for the type of mother-in-law she's about to have.

Cleanworld:


And you think that the mother is a fool ? ofcourse there are plenty ways to catch a fish

Her smartness made her do the laundry while her 6 other children do what? Such women rarely had/have happy marriage themselves thus feel justified at the displacement of their repressed pain and anger on women their sons are bringing into the family.

Her type would make sure the house is very neat and tidy before her son arrives with the oyibo woman and be at her best behaviour, to improve her son's chances of marrying the woman!

Eye service at its peak!

Your mama is a typical mother in law. The Patience ozokwor type.

Cleanworld:


And you think that the mother is a fool ? ofcourse there are plenty ways to catch a fish

No any plenty ways, that girl should not marry that guy period.

You have younger kids and you expect your son fiance to do your laundry for you, who does that?

Syntaxbyte:
Please advice me on this.

There is a girl we have been dating for 3 years now, and we seem to be in a good term wrh each other, so I introduced her to my Mum which she welcomed her nicely. And I have got to know her Mum too (not her Dad yet).
She has been visiting my Mum for a greet even without both of use go together. I will just be notified by her that she went there.

So, both of us went there yesterday (Sunday) for a greet. I saw my Mum attitude against her, not so nicely like before. I then begin to observe tightly but noting to hold up on.

That night, my Mum called me that she needs to speak with me (I realized that she's about to talk based the girl).

Mum: Good evening son, I so much love you but that's why I will not kept quiet.

Mum: Your fiancee disrespect me so much. The last time she came, we were washing clothes. She sat down a bit and stood up later to wash, but she didn't even eash it well.

Me: Ah,

Mum: Likewise today (Sunday), she saw me washing clothes and can't even collect it, what if there is a visitor in between?

Mum: Just Incase you see me not so nicely with her next time. You should know that that's the cause. She disrespect me a lot!

Me: Mum, am s sorry, I will talk with her

Mum: No, don't say anything to her concerning this. I will change against her whenever she comes, till she ask that "Why" and I will tell her.

PLEASE, advice me, I so much love my Mum. But I want this girl to be a wife she proves to be.

Please what can I do?

if i know the girl, i will advise her not to marry you.

descarado:

I blame the desperate girl who want to marry by all means.
Eye service has killed many young marriages cos u will start hearing stuffs like" she or he changed after marriage
Mbok.


Why will I visit the mum in the first place?
Don't I have self respect?
Visit with your guy officially and go your way.
The way you present yourself is how you will be treated.
Full stop.

Maybe she wanted to bond with her MIL, meanwhile the MIL wanted her to start doing chores.

See finish is a problem with inlaws. If she had stayed in her house, no one will call her disrespectful. She should only follow her bf when he's going there.

Anigreat:









It sounds so ridiculous bro, but again, the girl didn't try at all. She should atleast try and help in the washing. Those are the things our mothers looked out for in a girl. Some will deliberately go to kitchen and start cooking, just to observe and see the girl's reaction, if she'll join them there to help. Failure for the girl to do so, they instantly mark her X . All these things are simple test, if the girl knows it, she'll just be playing along.

guy forget about pretence. What op needs is a wife that would add value to him financially and otherwise, take care of the home and not one that would be washing his clothes morning, day and night. I blame the girl, she wan do pass herself. Why not only go with op to your mum in law place. She wan do better daughter in law wey dey wake up sweep floor.

Anigreat:









It sounds so ridiculous bro, but again, the girl didn't try at all. She should atleast try and help in the washing. Those are the things our mothers looked out for in a girl. Some will deliberately go to kitchen and start cooking, just to observe and see the girl's reaction, if she'll join them there to help. Failure for the girl to do so, they instantly mark her X . All these things are simple test, if the girl knows it, she'll just be playing along.

I don't believe in eye service at all. Why would I go to visit my future MIL and she expects me to wash her clothes especially when she has children that can do it. It is wrong.

Even when my hubby took me to meet his mum in another state and we stayed for days, I hardly did a chore. He has younger ones. I think I cooked for them once but aside that, they didn't let me do any chore.

Since my husband had picked me to be his wife, why would his mum need to test me?

Mindlog:


Her smartness made her do the laundry while her 6 other children do what? Such women rarely had/have happy marriage themselves thus feel justified at the displacement of their repressed pain and anger on women their sons are bringing into the family.

Her type would make sure the house is very neat and tidy before her son arrives with the oyibo woman and be at her best behaviour, to improve her son's chances of marrying the woman!

Eye service at its peak!

thank you especially at bold

They make terrible mothers in law because they were okay with being disrespected because they are women. And they think other women should go through the same.

Cleanworld:


And you think that the mother is a fool ? ofcourse there are plenty ways to catch a fish

But washing is not included since she is not an African woman that they can turn into a slave

ImaIma1:


Maybe she wanted to bond with her MIL, meanwhile the MIL wanted her to start doing chores.

See finish is a problem with inlaws. If she had stayed in her house, no one will call her disrespectful. She should only follow her bf when he's going there.

You will bond when you marry. Don't be in a haste.
She and so many like her don't know that.
Even when you marry me and have siblings younger than me, I ain't washing nothing.
Never ever start what you can't finish.
U will live to regret it.

That guy should buy washing machine to solve the problem .
Chikena

Syntaxbyte:
Hmm yes.

But I have 4 sister and 2 brothers still leaving with my Mum.

I don't believe that my Mum supposed to be saying such.

Or maybe she don't want me to just continue with her?

Does it mean the girls can't wash her clothes?? I love the girl because she's not a pretender.

our mothers too get wahala. they can correct other people's children but can't correct their own children.

Anigreat:









It sounds so ridiculous bro, but again, the girl didn't try at all. She should atleast try and help in the washing. Those are the things our mothers looked out for in a girl. Some will deliberately go to kitchen and start cooking, just to observe and see the girl's reaction, if she'll join them there to help. Failure for the girl to do so, they instantly mark her X . All these things are simple test, if the girl knows it, she'll just be playing along.

but she helped her the first time, she said she didn't wash it well, the second time, she didn't help her out, another complain follow too.

Haba!!! she sh just stop going there frequently.

Syntaxbyte:
Mum: Your fiancee disrespect me so much. The last time she came, we were washing clothes. She sat down a bit and stood up later to wash, but she didn't even eash it well.

Mum: Likewise today (Sunday), she saw me washing clothes and can't even collect it, what if there is a visitor in between?

Mum: Just Incase you see me not so nicely with her next time. You should know that that's the cause. She disrespect me a lot!

Mum: No, don't say anything to her concerning this. I will change against her whenever she comes, till she ask that "Why" and I will tell her.

There is an expectation gap between what your mum thinks a daughter in law is and what a daughter in law actually is.

What if your fiancee had pretended to your mum so that she can be liked ?

If you want to have a happy marriage keep your mum and her mum and infact all in-laws and outlaws and ALL THIRD PARTIES out of your marriage.

And btw with your mums mindset, no woman will ever be good enough for your mum as she will always find a fault even where there is none.

What if you get married to ANY woman and God forbid there is a delay in pregnancy, is this how your mum will start hounding your wife for what is essentially out of your wife's control.

Its your place now as THE MAN to choose the kind of home / marriage you want whether its one controlled by your mum or one controlled by you.

Btw, I am a man as well but what is fair is fair and a lot of Good marriages have been broken up by the unnecessary interference of Mum's and Dad's and In-laws in what is essentially none of their business.

mariahAngel:
Also, your mum might be a bit jealous, and that could be the reason she's beginning to find faults.
Just be patient with her...she'll get over it by the time you both give her grandchildren

What if the grandchildren don't come on time. Then what ??

Your mum never jam pretender .

I know a bros who was living in the UK and came back home to marry a lady. Before he took her to the UK, the lady will go to the guys village and sweep the whole of the guys family compound and be dancing with the guys grandfather and holding the grandfathers agbada so as to make the old man happy.

Fast forward to some years after bros took the wife to the UK and she turned into a menace to bros, she became uncontrollable and whenever bros touches her breasts during pre-intimacy, she will shout at him asking him if he thought he was touching his mothers breasts with his rough and callous hands.

So, your mum should pray she doesn't meet a prospective daughter in law who will deceive her with pretense and turn into a monster after marriage.

As far as the mother is also a woman like the fiancée, I nor kuku see any issues.
Both of them are supposed to be supporting each other and having each other's backs...but las las, the much touted female solidarity for one another na scam.

Women and their many never-ending issues...

Cleanworld:


Omoge Pandoro: Good day ma, You are washing? ooo bring it let me wash it for you

Mama: Wash wetin please our iyawo no dey wash cloth oo. Don't worry about it my daughter.


You will not only earn her respect but you have also demostrated that you are from a good home period!

(she and her would be husband can buy washing machine.)

Not as easy as you put it o.

I actually blame your girlfriend

What was she looking for up and down, everybody knows unnecessary visits yield incidents like this.

She should have been smarter.

'She washed one she didn't wash it well'
'She didn't wash at all' - are incidents that should NEVER have happened.

You have to be extremely smart, your head working in full capacity when it comes to in law issues because most times its your fault they are hunting for. Never give them that opportunity.

Syntaxbyte:
Hmm yes.

But I have 4 sister and 2 brothers still leaving with my Mum.

I don't believe that my Mum supposed to be saying such.

Or maybe she don't want me to just continue with her?

Hmmmm!, our mothers shaaaa.... Dem too dey find fault
But if na me oooo, wey be say I like my fiance, I no go fit dey watch my mother in law, they wash clothes while I sidon dey watch her, I must make an attempt to join her in washing. Na so I take win my mother in law over despite all the brouhaha... But the wahala wey dey there be say once you start this Kain things with your mother in law, you must ready to continue am ooooo....
Just apologise to your mother and as well talk to your girl, so that she can make some amendment for the peace of the family. Marriage no easy shaaaa...

MickzyDonald:
Our mother's mentality,must a daughter in-law to be collect the chores that are meant to be done by them, it's your chores nit theirs to do

Yes, she must. We are Africans and we remain so
Up till today, if imPatience Jonathan sees Goatluck's mother washing clothes, imPatience must collect it from her and wash, likewise Aisha Buhari.

Girls, when shopping for a husband, just search for one without a mother or sister and have peace of mind. I don't know why humans derive pleasure in making the lives of others miserable.

@OP, let me ask you a question: if you were dating an Otedola or Dangote's daughter, would your mom feel the same way about her?

Syntaxbyte:
Please advice me on this.

There is a girl we have been dating for 3 years now, and we seem to be in a good term wrh each other, so I introduced her to my Mum which she welcomed her nicely. And I have got to know her Mum too (not her Dad yet).
She has been visiting my Mum for a greet even without both of use go together. I will just be notified by her that she went there.

So, both of us went there yesterday (Sunday) for a greet. I saw my Mum attitude against her, not so nicely like before. I then begin to observe tightly but noting to hold up on.

That night, my Mum called me that she needs to speak with me (I realized that she's about to talk based the girl).

Mum: Good evening son, I so much love you but that's why I will not kept quiet.

Mum: Your fiancee disrespect me so much. The last time she came, we were washing clothes. She sat down a bit and stood up later to wash, but she didn't even eash it well.

Me: Ah,

Mum: Likewise today (Sunday), she saw me washing clothes and can't even collect it, what if there is a visitor in between?

Mum: Just Incase you see me not so nicely with her next time. You should know that that's the cause. She disrespect me a lot!

Me: Mum, am s sorry, I will talk with her

Mum: No, don't say anything to her concerning this. I will change against her whenever she comes, till she ask that "Why" and I will tell her.

PLEASE, advice me, I so much love my Mum. But I want this girl to be a wife she proves to be.

Please what can I do?

as men sometimes we marry for the wrong reasons, eg someone who can look after your old parents, therefore you want someone you parents approves aka most of the time a woman your mum can say jump and she would ask how high

i dont want you look into your mother or girlfriend but i want you to look at this at wider view someone who is looking from outside, i think this example would give you the clear view , from the moment you started to remember things as a child how many times did you see your grandmother (your daddys's mother) bossing your own mother around ? then from the age you started secondary school up to now how much separation is there between your mother and her mother-in-law. Most likely they have now learnt to love & live together from a distance aka mother-in-law doesnt expect her daugher-in-law to be helping her all the time and they all mind their own business in their respective homes not bulling and abusing each other

So mother in law have the tendency to do the same harm their own mother-in-law did to them during dating or early years of marriage, this is done under tradition eg charming mother in law to be by doing house chores during visits. There is nothing wrong with it aslong its not abuse, the danger is would she complain eg mother in law to be is abusive and she really loves the guy? i believe its a tricky situation it would be hard to complain to the boyfriend but am sure she wouldnt want to see the mother in law once married

Some mother in laws take your wife as maid and they know that its really hard for her to complain because she doesnt want to loose the man and those 1st years of marriage most men believe so much in their parents and it takes more years for the man to really take control of the direction of their mariage without mum or daddy making decisions or taking decisions for mum/daddy approval

in simple terms, look at your owm mother how much contact does she have with your grandmother(her mother in law), when i say contact i mean how much your grandmother nose is in your mother's business. Everyone wants to run run her own house without being told what to do or doing chores for other women.

Your mum should be more bothered that she has 6 children right under her roof there and none of them could assist her with laundry but nooo she'd rather look for faults in your fiancèe and then tell you how she isn't the one for you

Omolomo went the first time, helped her with the laundry, even stood while washing, as per wife material 1000yards Mama still talk sey she no wash am well (to her own standard).. Sisi Iyawo decided to visit Mama again, this time alone so she can bond well with her dear Iya oko but she "apparently" forgot her "home training" at home and Iya oko isn't having all of that.. Matter don turn to "she DISRESPECT me ALOT" na wa ooo.. Naim be sey, in future, if something as little as not having same views with Mama, wahala go shele.. Today, your wife offended me o, tomorrow your wife offended me sha, next tomorrow your wife offended me ni, everyday your wife offended me ni sha but don't tell her o, she must find out on her own and apologize to me.. Edakun werriz the peace tori oloun smh I don't envy you at all at all.. Waiiit for the one that will pass all Mama's tests you hear, just don't be tired of waiting.

How did you know the devil is a he?

Syntaxbyte:
Please advice me on this.

There is a girl we have been dating for 3 years now, and we seem to be in a good term wrh each other, so I introduced her to my Mum which she welcomed her nicely. And I have got to know her Mum too (not her Dad yet).
She has been visiting my Mum for a greet even without both of use go together. I will just be notified by her that she went there.

So, both of us went there yesterday (Sunday) for a greet. I saw my Mum attitude against her, not so nicely like before. I then begin to observe tightly but noting to hold up on.

That night, my Mum called me that she needs to speak with me (I realized that she's about to talk based the girl).

Mum: Good evening son, I so much love you but that's why I will not kept quiet.

Mum: Your fiancee disrespect me so much. The last time she came, we were washing clothes. She sat down a bit and stood up later to wash, but she didn't even eash it well.

Me: Ah,

Mum: Likewise today (Sunday), she saw me washing clothes and can't even collect it, what if there is a visitor in between?

Mum: Just Incase you see me not so nicely with her next time. You should know that that's the cause. She disrespect me a lot!

Me: Mum, am s sorry, I will talk with her

Mum: No, don't say anything to her concerning this. I will change against her whenever she comes, till she ask that "Why" and I will tell her.

PLEASE, advice me, I so much love my Mum. But I want this girl to be a wife she proves to be.

Please what can I do?

must she help your mom wash?