All these petty petty nonsense sef. My own mum at home will not allow an outsider wash her clothes so there is no way she will allow my brother's girlfriend wash her clothes. We don't know what spirit they are carrying and yet you want them to be touching her clothes anyhow.

Abeg a lady can pretend to be a good wife material before marriage by turning herself to a house girl, but once she is in the marriage she will turn to a boss lady. We seriously need to change all these yeye mindset

Your mum isn't cool. These are the kind of families I know I can't marry into. Instead of OP to have respectfully told his mother it wasn't right of her to expect his girlfriend to launder her clothes, he was there saying he'll talk to her.

Talk to her about what, oga?

It pains me when people see the truth and still remain blinded by sentiment.

Anigreat:









It sounds so ridiculous bro, but again, the girl didn't try at all. She should atleast try and help in the washing. Those are the things our mothers looked out for in a girl. Some will deliberately go to kitchen and start cooking, just to observe and see the girl's reaction, if she'll join them there to help. Failure for the girl to do so, they instantly mark her X . All these things are simple test, if the girl knows it, she'll just be playing along.

is ordinary dating .so because am dating one's son I should start washing, sweeping ,cooking etc.has he done introduction or pay dowry . what's the guarantee that after the whole wife material saga,the guy will marry her.

ststyreal:

Hmmmm!, our mothers shaaaa.... Dem too dey find fault
But if na me oooo, wey be say I like my fiance, I no go fit dey watch my mother in law, they wash clothes while I sidon dey watch her, I must make an attempt to join her in washing. Na so I take win my mother in law over despite all the brouhaha... But the wahala wey dey there be say once you start this Kain things with your mother in law, you must ready to continue am ooooo....
Just apologise to your mother and as well talk to your girl, so that she can make some amendment for the peace of the family. Marriage no easy shaaaa...

Thanks. I will do that

I wonder why girls do this, honestly. In a bid to be nice, be accepted, and be called a wife-material, they end up going overboard and doing unimaginable things. I can't imagine it. If wife materials were to be measured in yards for this, I will be found wanting.

OP, you come across to me as a "mama's boy". Your brain is laden with sentiments and it is pitiful that you don't know how to put your mum in her rightful position. If I knew your girl personally, I will tell her not to marry you. It is disastrous to want to continue a relationship on a path like this. It may never end nicely. More especially as your mum is already resenting her because she didn't participate in washing clothes she never wore with her. It is even more appalling to know that you have younger siblings who should do those chores but your mother will rather have a girl who you haven't even married to wash them for her. It's a choice and has never been a prerequisite.

The self-entitlement and audacity, though. If you can't stand up for your fiancee in whatever situation(even as minuscule as this), forget it, you don't deserve her. You are a red flag.

UyaiIncomparabl:

Talk o

ImaIma1:


I don't believe in eye service at all. Why would I go to visit my future MIL and she expects me to wash her clothes especially when she has children that can do it. It is wrong.

Even when my hubby took me to meet his mum in another state and we stayed for days, I hardly did a chore. He has younger ones. I think I cooked for them once but aside that, they didn't let me do any chore.

Since my husband had picked me to be his wife, why would his mum need to test me?

I can't believe you just asked the bolded.

Anything wrong in wanting the right partner for your kids?

Go ahead and criticize the MIL as you like, but in about 25 to 30 years from now, you would likely do the same.

Her approach might be wrong, but she has the right intentions.

1F30M4:
Your mum should be more bothered that she has 6 children right under her roof there and none of them could assist her with laundry but nooo she'd rather look for faults in your fiancèe and then tell you how she isn't the one for you

Omolomo went the first time, helped her with the laundry, even stood while washing, as per wife material 1000yards Mama still talk sey she no wash am well (to her own standard).. Sisi Iyawo decided to visit Mama again, this time alone so she can bond well with her dear Iya oko but she "apparently" forgot her "home training" at home and Iya oko isn't having all of that.. Matter don turn to "she DISRESPECT me ALOT" na wa ooo.. Naim be sey, in future, if something as little as not having same views with Mama, wahala go shele.. Today, your wife offended me o, tomorrow your wife offended me sha, next tomorrow your wife offended me ni, everyday your wife offended me ni sha but don't tell her o, she must find out on her own and apologize to me.. Edakun werriz the peace tori oloun smh I don't envy you at all at all.. Waiiit for the one that will pass all Mama's tests you hear, just don't be tired of waiting.

The best thing is for the fiancee to avoid going to visit the woman except with her man. What is she looking for?

But some women can complain sha. I remember my friends in secondary school. Their grandma (father's side) came to spend hols with them. The first day they made eba for her, the woman complained that it was too soft.

The second day, she complained that it was too strong. On the 3rd day, the girls boiled water and put the garri, bowl and turning stick and went to grandma "grandma abeg come and turn your eba" . The womam shock but she understood them perfectly.

Not everyone can stomach all that kind of wahala. Imagine they did that to their grandma. One MIL cannot come and stress them unnecessarily.

Raalsalghul:


I can't believe you just asked the bolded.

Anything wrong in wanting the right partner for your kids?

[s]Go ahead and criticize the MIL as you like, but in about 25 to 30 years from now, you would likely do the same.

Her approach might be wrong, but she has the right intentions.[/s]

Raalsalghul:


I can't believe you just asked the bolded.

Anything wrong in wanting the right partner for your kids?

Go ahead and criticize the MIL as you like, but in about 25 to 30 years from now, you would likely do the same.

Her approach might be wrong, but she has the right intentions.

I can assess people without giving them funny tests. Because even the best of people could fail a test for whatever reason.

My mum didn't do any stupid tests for my brother's wife and they have been married for close to 15yrs. My mum would only advise and push you in the right direction and tell you " you are the one that will live with the person, not me. So pick wisely".

I didn't do chores in my inlaw's house and I am still married. So all these MIL expecting the girl to be a slave to prove that she's good enough for her son is a scam. Just the MIL trying to exact authority and complicate matters.

Syntaxbyte:


Talk o

There's nothing I will tell you now that hasn't been written already in the 1st and 2nd pages of this thread.

Solution; Tell your mum that your wife to be isn't a slave and if she needs her clothes laundered, your siblings should do that or just have them outsourced to people who wash clothes. You don't test people. That's so 1980.

If you brought an "Otedola's daughter" or even a basic caucasian girl, will your mother even tell one of these girls to wash clothes for her? No.

Be a man and do the right thing.

PrimadonnaO:
Your mum isn't cool. These are the kind of families I know I can't marry into. Instead of OP to have respectfully told his mother it wasn't right of her to expect his girlfriend to launder her clothes, he was there saying he'll talk to her.

Talk to her about what, oga?

It pains me when people see the truth and still remain blinded by sentiment.

And some guys here are saying there's nothing wrong with washing her MIL's clothes. If I were the babe, I would have gone to call one of the younger ones to come help the mum.

In fact, I won't even have any business going to visit without my man to avoid see finish.

ImaIma1:


And some guys here are saying there's nothing wrong with washing her MIL's clothes. If I were the babe, I would have gone to call one of the younger ones to come help the mum.

In fact, I won't even have any business going to visit without my man to avoid see finish.

Those guys are the kind of men I'll advise anyone who came to me to avoid. They'll watch you get humiliated and tell you to still smile.

There are certain things a would-be daughter-in-law is expected to do... but they should be entirely at her own discretion.

ImaIma1:


The best thing is for the fiancee to avoid going to visit the woman except with her man. What is she looking for?

But some women can complain sha. I remember my friends in secondary school. Their grandma (father's side) came to spend hols with them. The first day they made eba for her, the woman complained that it was too soft.

The second day, she complained that it was too strong. On the 3rd day, the girls boiled water and put the garri, bowl and turning stick and went to grandma "grandma abeg come and turn your eba" . The womam shock but she understood them perfectly.

Not everyone can stomach all that kind of wahala. Imagine they did that to their grandma. One MIL cannot come and stress them unnecessarily.

Yes o my dear, I love your friends dem way ooo.. Some women are like that, if I come across them, I go jus dey my dey.. I cannot comman kee myself oo

Collect ring from your fiance and propose to your mum.

Princessogaraya:

Oga shut up, want best for her son by washing cloth for her,does that qualify one to know who will be good wife or not.
I saw one thread that guy refused to give his girlfriend money to buy chicken for her mummy,men on nairaland all most crucify this girl that she is after his money.... person never marry

I pity innocent but foolish ass who will overwhelm and follow ur stinking opinion, opinion that you urself wont imagine try in real life

Princessogaraya:
woman are the problem of themselves.
we always take our female like slave all in the name of marriage.

let me ask you if are the one that visit her will you do anything there.....the answer is no because they will take as visitor,cook nice meal for you and serve you.

person you never marry,your mom don complain unnecessary.
I love the girl way never start what you can not finished.
let your mom understand that she is a visitor,she suppose to treat as a visitor and stop this our Africa mentality

You said it all, Op take this advice and talk to your mama

Fiscus105:


I pity innocent but foolish ass who will overwhelm and follow ur stinking opinion, opinion that you urself wont imagine try in real life

pls and pls don't ever come to my comment and I quote me again
Mr advice Sabi Sabi,he goat like you

So because she wants to marry you, your Mother should now turn your fiancée into a slave right?

Your mum comes to you to complain that your fiancée did not collect the clothes from her to wash and you as the man can’t ask your mum why your other 6 siblings; 4 girls (Don’t know how old they are; but they SHOULD help their mum to wash her clothes) and 2 boys did not make any attempt to collect the clothes from your mum to wash for her? They saw their mum carry her clothes to wash and NONE OF YOUR SIBLINGS DID ANYTHING TO ASSIST YOUR MUM IN WASHING THOSE CLOTHES. You have the AUDACITY to say you will ask your fiancée why she did not assist your mum in washing her clothes; for what exactly? The NERVE YOU HAVE to even think of asking your fiancée; ABSOLUTE NANSENSE.

I didn't see anywhere in your posts where you scolded your siblings for not washing your mum's clothes for her. Neither did I see anywhere that your mum scolded her other children for not helping her to wash her clothes either. It was only your fiancée that your mum decided to scold and not scold her own children as if they are blameless in this situation.

If I knew your fiancée, I will tell her to run as fast as her legs can carry her away from your family as it is obvious you are going to make life unbearable for her and turn her into a slave IF SHE MARRIES YOU. Very soon, your siblings will also give your fiancée their cloths for her to wash as well to TEST if she is a “WIFE MATERIAL OR NOT”.

In all, I blame your fiancée who is trying to do over-sabi; “I WANT TO BE LIKED BY MY MIL; THEREFORE I WILL SWIPE THE WHOLE COMMUNITY COMPOUND, WASH ALL THEIR CLOTHES AND COOK FOR THEM TO SHOW I AM A WIFE MATERIAL. More or less a slave if you ask me. Also there is no need for your fiancée to be going to your mums place ALL THE TIME AS IF YOUR FIANCEE HAS NOTHING DOING? EVER HEARD OF THE SAYING “FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT”? THAT IS WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING.

You come across as a mummy's boy and you really are not ready to settle down if you are asking to speak with your fiancée about her not washing your mother’s clothes. Instead of you to have asked your siblings why they did not wash their own mother’s clothes for her; you are here bringing the issue to NLand so that your fiancée can be condemned. I’m glad that the majority of people did not condemn her; but rather called you out and told you that it’s not compulsory for your fiancée to wash your mother’s clothes.

You never see woman we go sweep, cook, wash clothes join sef and do other things just to marry the man and then show her true colours after marriage? Maybe then your eyes go clear. You go know say no be by doing chores na em person go take know if na better wife na em e dey marry. Enough said.

TheeDetective:
So because she wants to marry you, your Mother should now turn your fiancée into a slave right?

Your mum comes to you to complain that your fiancée did not collect the clothes from her to wash and you as the man can’t ask your mum why your other 6 siblings; 4 girls (Don’t know how old they are; but they SHOULD help their mum to wash her clothes) and 2 boys did not make any attempt to collect the clothes from your mum to wash for her? They saw their mum carry her clothes to wash and NONE OF YOUR SIBLINGS DID ANYTHING TO ASSIST YOUR MUM IN WASHING THOSE CLOTHES. You have the AUDACITY to say you will ask your fiancée why she did not assist your mum in washing her clothes; for what exactly? The NERVE YOU HAVE to even think of asking your fiancée; ABSOLUTE NANSENSE.

I didn't see anywhere in your posts where you scolded your siblings for not washing your mum's clothes for her. Neither did I see anywhere that your mum scolded her other children for not helping her to wash her clothes either. It was only your fiancée that your mum decided to scold and not scold her own children as if they are blameless in this situation.

If I knew your fiancée, I will tell her to run as fast as her legs can carry her away from your family as it is obvious you are going to make life unbearable for her and turn her into a slave IF SHE MARRIES YOU. Very soon, your siblings will also give your fiancée their cloths for her to wash as well to TEST if she is a “WIFE MATERIAL OR NOT”.

In all, I blame your fiancée who is trying to do over-sabi; “I WANT TO BE LIKED BY MY MIL; THEREFORE I WILL SWIPE THE WHOLE COMMUNITY COMPOUND, WASH ALL THEIR CLOTHES AND COOK FOR THEM TO SHOW I AM A WIFE MATERIAL. More or less a slave if you ask me. Also there is no need for your fiancée to be going to your mums place ALL THE TIME AS IF YOUR FIANCEE HAS NOTHING DOING? EVER HEARD OF THE SAYING “FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT”? THAT IS WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING.

You come across as a mummy's boy and you really are not ready to settle down if you are asking to speak with your fiancée about her not washing your mother’s clothes. Instead of you to have asked your siblings why they did not wash their own mother’s clothes for her; you are here bringing the issue to NLand so that your fiancée can be condemned. I’m glad that the majority of people did not condemn her; but rather called you out and told you that it’s not compulsory for your fiancée to wash your mother’s clothes.

You never see woman we go sweep, cook, wash clothes join sef and do other things just to marry the man and then show her true colours after marriage? Maybe then your eyes go clear. You go know say no be by doing chores na em person go take know if na better wife na em e dey marry. Enough said.

True talk

African mothers and their old mentality.

The girl is not a slave. Her not showing interest in washing the cloth shouldn't be a yardstick to know good wife.

I like the girl already.

UyaiIncomparabl:


There's nothing I will tell you now that hasn't been written already in the 1st and 2nd pages of this thread.

Solution; Tell your mum that your wife to be isn't a slave and if she needs her clothes laundered, your siblings should do that or just have them outsourced to people who wash clothes. You don't test people. That's so 1980.

If you brought an "Otedola's daughter" or even a basic caucasian girl, will your mother even tell one of these girls to wash clothes for her? No.

Be a man and do the right thing.

Exactly!. African mothers flex their muscle on not well to do spouses of their children.

Karleb:
Collect ring from your fiance and propose to your mum.

Damn Bruv!

PrimadonnaO:
Your mum isn't cool. These are the kind of families I know I can't marry into. Instead of OP to have respectfully told his mother it wasn't right of her to expect his girlfriend to launder her clothes, he was there saying he'll talk to her.

Talk to her about what, oga?

It pains me when people see the truth and still remain blinded by sentiment.

He's obviously mummy's boy .

Mindlog:


Her smartness made her do the laundry while her 6 other children do what? Such women rarely had/have happy marriage themselves thus feel justified at the displacement of their repressed pain and anger on women their sons are bringing into the family.

Her type would make sure the house is very neat and tidy before her son arrives with the oyibo woman and be at her best behaviour, to improve her son's chances of marrying the woman!

Eye service at its peak!

Eye service or inferiority complex?

Syntaxbyte:
Please advice me on this.

There is a girl we have been dating for 3 years now, and we seem to be in a good term wrh each other, so I introduced her to my Mum which she welcomed her nicely. And I have got to know her Mum too (not her Dad yet).
She has been visiting my Mum for a greet even without both of use go together. I will just be notified by her that she went there.

So, both of us went there yesterday (Sunday) for a greet. I saw my Mum attitude against her, not so nicely like before. I then begin to observe tightly but noting to hold up on.

That night, my Mum called me that she needs to speak with me (I realized that she's about to talk based the girl).

Mum: Good evening son, I so much love you but that's why I will not kept quiet.

Mum: Your fiancee disrespect me so much. The last time she came, we were washing clothes. She sat down a bit and stood up later to wash, but she didn't even eash it well.

Me: Ah,

Mum: Likewise today (Sunday), she saw me washing clothes and can't even collect it, what if there is a visitor in between?

Mum: Just Incase you see me not so nicely with her next time. You should know that that's the cause. She disrespect me a lot!

Me: Mum, am s sorry, I will talk with her

Mum: No, don't say anything to her concerning this. I will change against her whenever she comes, till she ask that "Why" and I will tell her.

PLEASE, advice me, I so much love my Mum. But I want this girl to be a wife she proves to be.

Please what can I do?

Respect both parties and put them in their place. Your fiance should reduce the unnecessary visits and make your mom understand she is a wife not a maid. To avoid the issue your mum is having, but he a washing machine or join funds with your mom to buy her a washing machine.

Why do mother in law not have problems when the son visits and does nothing? Why try to make a woman less than a man?

Is her 6 other children sextuplets who are still toddlers, reason she expects a visitor to be part of the laundry chore?

Should that lady stupidly continues such visitations, bent to allow such servitude and finally marries the OP, those siblings would always be bold enough to go to "their brother's house" and expect the wife to serve and clean up after them while OP keeps quiet because he fears his siblings will report him to their mummy if he stands up for his wife.

OP, you are not mentally ready to get married. For there to be "peace" between your mother and the woman you are eventually going to marry, make sure it is your mother that picks a woman for you, one that has passed all her tests.

Pavore9:
Is her 6 other children sextuplets who are still toddlers, reason she expects a visitor to be part of the laundry chore?

Should that lady stupidly continues such visitations, bent to allow such servitude and finally marries the OP, those siblings would always be bold enough to go to "their brother's house" and expect the wife to serve and clean up after them while OP keeps quiet because he fears his siblings will report him to their mummy if he stands up for his wife.

OP, you are not mentally ready to get married. For there to be "peace" between your mother and the woman you are eventually going to marry, make sure it is your mother that picks a woman for you, one that has passed all her tests.

You dey mind am?

Syntaxbyte:
Please advice me on this.

There is a girl we have been dating for 3 years now, and we seem to be in a good term wrh each other, so I introduced her to my Mum which she welcomed her nicely. And I have got to know her Mum too (not her Dad yet).
She has been visiting my Mum for a greet even without both of use go together. I will just be notified by her that she went there.

So, both of us went there yesterday (Sunday) for a greet. I saw my Mum attitude against her, not so nicely like before. I then begin to observe tightly but noting to hold up on.

That night, my Mum called me that she needs to speak with me (I realized that she's about to talk based the girl).

Mum: Good evening son, I so much love you but that's why I will not kept quiet.

Mum: Your fiancee disrespect me so much. The last time she came, we were washing clothes. She sat down a bit and stood up later to wash, but she didn't even eash it well.

Me: Ah,

Mum: Likewise today (Sunday), she saw me washing clothes and can't even collect it, what if there is a visitor in between?

Mum: Just Incase you see me not so nicely with her next time. You should know that that's the cause. She disrespect me a lot!

Me: Mum, am s sorry, I will talk with her

Mum: No, don't say anything to her concerning this. I will change against her whenever she comes, till she ask that "Why" and I will tell her.

PLEASE, advice me, I so much love my Mum. But I want this girl to be a wife she proves to be.

Please what can I do?

You have to confront her to know why she acted on what your mum has complained about

Loving a woman is one thing and being a wife materials is another thing

frozen70:


You have to confront her to know why she acted on what your mum has complained about

Loving a woman is one thing and being a wife material is another thing

I don't understand. Confront her for what exactly? Is washing clothes for her prospective mother-in-law her duty? And how does washing clothes for her prospective mother-in-law make her a wife material?

UyaiIncomparabl:


I don't understand. Confront her for what exactly? Is washing clothes for her prospective mother-in-law her duty? And how does washing clothes for her prospective mother-in-law make her a wife material?

You won't understand and I don't need to explain