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In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 - Family - Nairaland

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In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by daylay7(m): 6:02am On Apr 23, 2021
I was wondering why we were raised to be a provider in a marriage. Responsibility should be shared 50/50 but here in this part of the world, it is the man that must provide everything. I was speaking with a woman the other day and she told me out-rightly that it is the responsibility of the man to pay all the bills. I feel if I'm paying the house rent, my woman should be able to pay the children school fees. But No, it is the man's responsibility here. I don't think it is like that in Europe.
So, why can't we imbibe the European culture? It was on the app that a woman built two houses from her earned money without her husband knowing and yet, he pays all the bills including the womans' need and many more.
Why can't we share the bills in a union/marriage? Is it fair enough for the man to carry all these burdens?
Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by LeoThaGreat(m): 7:01am On Apr 23, 2021
In mathematics, there's something called "Collect like terms together."
I believe men who thinks financial responsibility should be shared should marry a lady who shares their belief.
Also, men who thinks a lady should be financially dependent on a man should marry ladies with similar mindset.
There's no manual for marriage. As long as husband and wife and on the same page, outsiders can go to hell.
There are couples that split the bill and are happy. There are families the man provides everything and are also happy.
Don't go ahead to marry someone who you're not sure of what they think about financial responsibilities and other responsibilities at home.
Shalom

32 Likes 4 Shares

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by Cutehector(m): 7:25am On Apr 23, 2021
Topic for discussion
Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by bdchange(m): 8:34am On Apr 23, 2021
It is easier to say lets copy the European culture in terms of sharing responsibilities in marriage. But are u also ready to give power to women in marriage and other benefits accrued to them in those European countries you want to copy. If I list them now, then you will see an african man saying it is not our culture to do such. Please just stick to what work for you and your spouse.

37 Likes 2 Shares

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by eyinjuege: 9:52am On Apr 23, 2021
Responsibilities are not only financial.
Both should contribute financially, both should contribute in housekeeping of the home I.e cleaning the home, cooking/feeding members of the family, both should equally look after the children e.g this week you're responsible for bathing, dressing kids, dropping and picking up from school, homework etc while the other partner does same the following week.
There are many more responsibilities in a family that should be shared tbh.

28 Likes 2 Shares

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by Biglittlelois(f): 10:12am On Apr 23, 2021
@daylay7 I hope you're satisfied with the three comments above.....

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by turasumon(f): 10:44am On Apr 23, 2021
eyinjuege:
Responsibilities are not only financial.
Both should contribute financially, both should contribute in housekeeping of the home I.e cleaning the home, cooking/feeding members of the family, both should equally look after the children e.g this week you're responsible for bathing, dressing kids, dropping and picking up from school, homework etc while the other partner does same the following week.
There are many more responsibilities in a family that should be shared tbh.


I totally agree with you. Men want women to share in their responsibilities but they don't share the women's responsibilities. if we share the financial responsibilities of the home 50- 50, then we should also share domestic responsibilities. Both of us will be cooking turn by turn, bathing the kids and other domestic responsibilities. You can not expect me to to do part of ur own without you sharing mine.

PS: I believe that women should work and earn money.

but their contributions to the home should be voluntary.....same for the man, he should help with chores and not forced to

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by MsPetty: 4:31pm On Apr 23, 2021
The comments so far is satisfying.

6 Likes

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by cococandy(f): 4:44pm On Apr 23, 2021
grin
Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by pocohantas(f): 4:51pm On Apr 23, 2021
Biglittlelois:
@daylay7 I hope you're satisfied with the three comments above.....

Hahahahaa. You no well!! grin

1 Like

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by HornyTave: 5:00pm On Apr 23, 2021
My question to you as a man to man in 21st century is ' Why you wan marry, wen be prison ', when you can have a baby mama and still flex life till you're 50 and marry a gal who's younger than your Chil?
Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by HornyTave: 5:00pm On Apr 23, 2021
My question to you as a man to man in 21st century is ' Why you wan marry, wen be prison ', when you can have a baby mama and still flex life till you're 50 and marry a gal who's younger than your Child?
Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by Alexaonfleek: 5:04pm On Apr 23, 2021
HornyTave:
My question to you as a man to man in 21st century is ' Why you wan marry, wen be prison ', when you can have a baby mama and still flex life till you're 50 and marry a gal who's younger than your Chil?
Na for mouth this kain thing dey sweet

8 Likes

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by HornyTave: 5:10pm On Apr 23, 2021
Alexaonfleek:
Na for mouth this kain thing dey sweet

Because you're lazy and need someone to inflate your deflated self esteem
Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by Bodyodour: 5:47pm On Apr 23, 2021
eyinjuege:
Responsibilities are not only financial.
Both should contribute financially, both should contribute in housekeeping of the home I.e cleaning the home, cooking/feeding members of the family, both should equally look after the children e.g this week you're responsible for bathing, dressing kids, dropping and picking up from school, homework etc while the other partner does same the following week.
There are many more responsibilities in a family that should be shared tbh.
lol. Let me see the kind of reply men here will give to this.@daylay7, come see oo.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by cococandy(f): 5:55pm On Apr 23, 2021
HornyTave:
My question to you as a man to man in 21st century is ' Why you wan marry, wen be prison ', when you can have a baby mama and still flex life till you're 50 and marry a gal who's younger than your Child?
why do want to have secx with someone who’s younger than your child?

4 Likes

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by HornyTave: 6:00pm On Apr 23, 2021
cococandy:
why do want to have secx with someone who’s younger than your child?

Answering this would make me as stupid as you. so I'll pass

1 Like

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by cococandy(f): 6:09pm On Apr 23, 2021
HornyTave:


Answering this would make me as stupid as you. so I'll pass

Doesn’t sound great does it?

12 Likes

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by faithugo64(f): 6:19pm On Apr 23, 2021
You want to copy the European culture of sharing the financial burden 50/50, that is not a problem. But then, hope you wouldn't mind your wife copying the way they treat their husbands too?
Hope you will not start shouting that she is turning you into a houseboy?
Or you just want to copy the way they pay bills?

Listen OP, just do what works for you and your partner. Marry someone who shares this same mindset and you will be just fine or better still marry a white woman.

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by Alexaonfleek: 6:43pm On Apr 23, 2021
HornyTave:


[s][/s]Because you're lazy and need someone to inflate your deflated self esteem[s][/s]
Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by crackhaus: 7:34pm On Apr 23, 2021
Dear OP, don't kid yourself...
There's no where in the world that a woman would agree to share all financial responsibilities 50/50, I dare say this.

I could make an exception for families where the husband and wife have decided not to birth kids. A woman in this union may just (emphasis on may) agree to do 50/50, but then it'd still be rare.

Women are simply not built to want to split financial responsibilities straight down the middle – doesn't matter how modern or exposed she is.
You could very well meet exceptions to the above generalization, but they will all be non-african women.

If it's a naija woman you're looking for to split bills/share financial responsibilities 50/50 with you, then sorry oo. cheesy
Our wonderful sisters believe that opening their legs for you entitles them to your money (lots of it), not to mention when they now have children for you... ohh trust me, it's a mountain of gold sef they expect from their men for pushing out babies.

Any woman (like some above) who tells you to share in the housekeeping, child raising, and chores, so that they can share the financial responsibility with you 50/50, is lying to you oo. NA TRAP!
You will just end up doing plenty housework, and still see yourself spending the most money. LOL! No such thing as 50/50 when it comes to money in a naija woman's handbook... Better make peace with this fact and learn how to be following dem with brain.

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by mutter(f): 7:41pm On Apr 23, 2021
Some women even contribute more than 50 if the circumstances call for it..
A marriage is about being one and being there for one another.
What would the woman be doing with her money of it doosent go into her children and husband?

10 Likes

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by daylay7(m): 6:36am On Apr 24, 2021
Thanks for this piece
LeoThaGreat:
In mathematics, there's something called "Collect like terms together."
I believe men who thinks financial responsibility should be shared should marry a lady who shares their belief.
Also, men who thinks a lady should be financially dependent on a man should marry ladies with similar mindset.
There's no manual for marriage. As long as husband and wife and on the same page, outsiders can go to hell.
There are couples that split the bill and are happy. There are families the man provides everything and are also happy.
Don't go ahead to marry someone who you're not sure of what they think about financial responsibilities and other responsibilities at home.
Shalom

1 Like

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by daylay7(m): 6:37am On Apr 24, 2021
I am sure many will be interested in them. Can u pls share?
bdchange:
It is easier to say lets copy the European culture in terms of sharing responsibilities in marriage. But are u also ready to give power to women in marriage and other benefits accrued to them in those European countries you want to copy. If I list them now, then you will see an african man saying it is not our culture to do such. Please just stick to what work for you and your spouse.
Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by daylay7(m): 6:39am On Apr 24, 2021
Parenting is a responsibility as well.
eyinjuege:
Responsibilities are not only financial.
Both should contribute financially, both should contribute in housekeeping of the home I.e cleaning the home, cooking/feeding members of the family, both should equally look after the children e.g this week you're responsible for bathing, dressing kids, dropping and picking up from school, homework etc while the other partner does same the following week.
There are many more responsibilities in a family that should be shared tbh.
Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by daylay7(m): 6:40am On Apr 24, 2021
Biglittlelois:
@daylay7 I hope you're satisfied with the three comments above.....
We are getting there
Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by daylay7(m): 6:42am On Apr 24, 2021
turasumon:



I totally agree with you. Men want women to share in their responsibilities but they don't share the women's responsibilities. if we share the financial responsibilities of the home 50- 50, then we should also share domestic responsibilities. Both of us will be cooking turn by turn, bathing the kids and other domestic responsibilities. You can not expect me to to do part of ur own without you sharing mine.

PS: I believe that women should work and earn money.

but their contributions to the home should be voluntary.....same for the man, he should help with chores and not forced to
That's not fair. What if both share the responsibility including the financing of the home?
Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by daylay7(m): 6:46am On Apr 24, 2021
Mehn! you did save the day. Thank you
crackhaus:
Dear OP, don't kid yourself...
There's no where in the world that a woman would agree to share all financial responsibilities 50/50, I dare say this.

I could make an exception for families where the husband and wife have decided not to birth kids. A woman in this union may just (emphasis on may) agree to do 50/50, but then it'd still be rare.

Women are simply not built to want to split financial responsibilities straight down the middle – doesn't matter how modern or exposed she is.
You could very well meet exceptions to the above generalization, but they will all be non-african women.

If it's a naija woman you're looking for to split bills/share financial responsibilities 50/50 with you, then sorry oo. cheesy
Our wonderful sisters believe that opening their legs for you entitles them to your money (lots of it), not to mention when they now have children for you... ohh trust me, it's a mountain of gold sef they expect from their men for pushing out babies.

Any woman (like some above) who tells you to share in the housekeeping, child raising, and chores, so that they can share the financial responsibility with you 50/50, is lying to you oo. NA TRAP!
You will just end up doing plenty housework, and still see yourself spending the most money. LOL! No such thing as 50/50 when it comes to money in a naija woman's handbook... Better make peace with this fact and learn how to be following dem with brain.

1 Like

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by NoToPile: 8:58am On Apr 24, 2021
crackhaus:
Dear OP, don't kid yourself...
There's no where in the world that a woman would agree to share all financial responsibilities 50/50, I dare say this.

I could make an exception for families where the husband and wife have decided not to birth kids. A woman in this union may just (emphasis on may) agree to do 50/50, but then it'd still be rare.

Women are simply not built to want to split financial responsibilities straight down the middle – doesn't matter how modern or exposed she is.
You could very well meet exceptions to the above generalization, but they will all be non-african women.

If it's a naija woman you're looking for to split bills/share financial responsibilities 50/50 with you, then sorry oo. cheesy
Our wonderful sisters believe that opening their legs for you entitles them to your money (lots of it), not to mention when they now have children for you... ohh trust me, it's a mountain of gold sef they expect from their men for pushing out babies.

Any woman (like some above) who tells you to share in the housekeeping, child raising, and chores, so that they can share the financial responsibility with you 50/50, is lying to you oo. NA TRAP!
You will just end up doing plenty housework, and still see yourself spending the most money. LOL! No such thing as 50/50 when it comes to money in a naija woman's handbook... Better make peace with this fact and learn how to be following dem with brain.



Loool grin @ bolded

But then there are men who spend most ( if not all) the money and still do house work. cool

This OP only wants to share bills, he doesn't want to share chores,it does make sense if he wants his financial burden relieved he should also relieve his lady's domestic burden that should balance out the European system he is quoting.

4 Likes

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by turasumon(f): 1:12pm On Apr 24, 2021
daylay7:

That's not fair. What if both share the responsibility including the financing of the home?

if he is willing to share her responsibilities, then sharing his shouldn't be an issue.
Every couple should just go for what suits them

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by descarado: 5:59am On Apr 25, 2021
.

1 Like

Re: In A Marriage, Responsibilities Should Be 50/50 by crackhaus: 3:56pm On Apr 25, 2021
NoToPile:


Loool grin @ bolded

But then there are men who spend most ( if not all) the money and still do house work. cool

This OP only wants to share bills, he doesn't want to share chores,it does make sense if he wants his financial burden relieved he should also relieve his lady's domestic burden that should balance out the European system he is quoting.


Their reward is in heaven... grin

3 Likes

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