CAPITALBEE:
Dilemma of a yearning heart!
Not true.

Love in recent times has been so defined with various adulterations. Therefore losing it's very essence and meaning.

AsherAmari:


Lol... Not true.

Imagine a man trying to woo a girl and he'll be like.. I "love" those hot legs. So, what if tomorrow, those hot legs are gone?? The "love" is gone.

bigpicture001:
@OP, I don't know about women and the treatment the y get from men. But it not fully wrong to blame it on women who have abandoned values men offer in relationships ND only Gage them by how deep their pockets is...

Little reason why men are filled with mentality of get monet-get women. Lots and countless ladies have dumped very genuine and secere men just for money sake.. What they never know is that a man can Trippe his huzle to make it so as not to lose his love.

Until women understand that money is not love, evil will continue to befall them. Let them continue! Na them go tire. A lot of bad blood stock up in jilted men who got dumped cuz they don't have much finance eleven when they are trying. ND when they mks it, they unleash slot of i-dont-care deceitful attitude to other women without remorse

AsherAmari:


Lol...
In as much as I agree with you on some of your points, I want you to know that the place of money can never be over emphasized in a relationship. However, both must believe in themselves and at least be sure of each others prospects before establishing a relationship.

bigpicture001:


You don't get it... Money is everything a lady believes in...aside money no iota of love is displayed. So men have learnt to be on their own and fight to get the money. Now whatever they dish out as attitude, u guys shod take...

South African men can relate better as all their gf. Abandoned them and went after nails guys because they can spend on them even if it's tru illagel means they get the money. They abandoned cultural, geographical compatibilities and went after money, hence the uprising against Nigerians.

My ex left me wen even severally boasting to her friends that am always there for her in her struggles, and care so much both physically, emotionally etc. But am still struggling to b on my feet as a man. Which am working seriously on.. We had like 98% compatibility, yet so abandoned the relationship for a richer guy.

Now two months later even without illegalities, I Don buy car, and upped my income to 200k monthly... Now sh would have to enjoy her money full relationship and endure some supposed intolerance from her by guy, cuz God knows I tolerated alot. ..

You see am. Screen the man and his ambitious attitude whilst still checking other factors... Don't make money all and all....

AsherAmari:


She just happens to fall into the category of those I said have lost touch of the true meaning of love and are busy looking for what is not lost.

It is well.

DDDEnterprises

The purpose of relationships have shifted from the proper path with the emergence of the modern and secularly inclined world.

bigpicture001:


The uprising thing is that sh has money.. Not a broke lady by any means... So found exactly what she is looking for in me. May times we are supposed at the level of compatibility, and aldou am older than her it's appears we grew up in same era and locality. We live same kind of films, have same mentality towards religion, love hard work, both believed in a lot of things together.

Tolerance from me to her was top notch as I see her as younger who still have some weeds to clear in her path. But shockingly I was dumped inky for reason of not having plenty money. Instead of heartbreak, I was angry at her. But no her life. I just have to leave like a defeated lion. Tank God I still own my life.

So went straight for a richer guy damning all consequences of compatibility... Women really don't want to call a spade a spade and say.. It's only money we care about shikina

Mah hear say dem tell person say e look like a monkey and hot altogether, and dah person go say thank you.

You must learn to love, true.

Nobody is ugly, fact.

AsherAmari:
author=chatinent post=101257529
No now. Not like you'll put it in an insultive way. Maybe teasingly.



Sure.


Never meant it that way.

AsherAmari:



Hmmm... Like I said earlier, the issue of money can not be overlooked. And women are naturally wired to like comfort. Even men like confort . So, She can be excused a little in that area.


What if I cite my own experience?
My last relationship which ended since 2016.

I met this guy in 2013. He had no job but had very high prospects. so I believed in him.

Along the line I got a job and we were still good together until he landed a job in Chevron few years after. Then he began to misbehave. Frolicking with different girls to the point I couldn't take it anylonger. So I called it quits.

Though it took me years to try getting into one or two other "relationships" again but then I discovered it's no longer worth it as what we now have is a mirage of the original thing. Babies in adults skin.


Just take it that, you were never meant to be.

chatinent:



All right.

.

Sonnobax15:

These days,I just dey concentrate on my hustle..

I spend not less than 10-12 hours of my everyday hustling my asss out inside a bakery day-in day-out,just to be a man......And it has always been so for over a year na..


The truth is that, nobody go ever dey dey for you from the moment dey think your hustle ain't paving way for your success..

Even now self,my babe don dey use cold dey ask me why I no dey package Yahoo join,like say I don ever complain about brokenness to her before

Relationship of nowadays is just vice versa.......No more big deal self....

bigpicture001:


If you had stayed, he would still end up with you... Lemme tell you, lack of money for may years restrict guys from fulfilling their emotional fantasies.. So when the unlock hey comes, it's normal he misbehaves for sometime, Tuface did same, many of them. But in d end when it's time to settle, granted there was a good girl from the beginning.. Men tend to go back to them...

Men are not like women who easily flush old struggles with a partner in the toilet.. Especially wen no new girl helped them get the financial balance they sought..

I excused my ex then that weneva I get financial balance, sh wild tolerate me for 6months to womanise... I hav never enjoyed my life..always planning...sh understood and agreed.. ND knows am serious..

U just took it too serious.. But am sorry abt how it ended anyways

DDDEnterprises:
Your concern is appreciated.

There are various reasons why relationships don't last or aren't credible these days.

The first is the purpose. The purpose of relationships have shifted from the proper path with the emergence of the modern and secularly inclined world.

Before, most of the time if not all of the time, during the ages of conservatism and religious consciousness, men and women only thought of themselves being together within the confines of marriage. It was a together-forever affair.

So whenever a man would court a woman, with that mindset, the courtship or "relationship" appears to be serious and real because they are courting each other with the intention of being together forever in matrimonial union and not just to satisfy carnal desires.

But today, people date for different reasons aside from that purpose. Many people do not have that intention while dating rather it is only to satisfy their desires. So you can expect that such relationships will break anytime from the point after which the purpose for which they stated dating has been satisfied.

So people date for money, for sex, for satisfying the inclination for romance with another person and so on. So once all these has been satisfied, the union could break anytime especially when those things they desire don't seem to come anymore.

But I know that it's not everytime that a relationship isn't founded on the intention of possible matrimony that the union doesn't last. There may be people out there without such intentions but their relationships still stay strong for years.

I'm saying it's generally one of the reasons that causes the problem even though there may be exceptions.

...........

As for what you said though about loving someone despite not having some certain qualities, you may be right but you may not be totally right.

Love and affection for something, some times, if not even all the time doesn't just develop without a cause. Rather love and affection or even hatred stems or arouses due to a particular property that catches your interest in something.

If you love someone, you love them for something. there's something about them that fascinates and attracts you. If we could just develop love for anyone regardless, you would have noticed that people will opt for just marrying anyone they find. But if you observe humanity, you will realise that it is not so. Rather, people mostly develop love for someone because of something that attracts or interests them in that person.

So it's quite expected that when that quality disappears or is lost, the love someone has for that person - which developed as a result of that lost quality - may fade away. It's quite normal.

But what is now left is for the person to be disciplined and be patient; having a mature mindset that understands that calamities and problems are part of life and we can't always get to maintain our desires forever and he disciplines himself to continue being in the union with the other partner who has lost what he desires. But if he or she chooses to opt out, especially when he cannot cope, then that's their choice and they have the right and freedom to that.

All what I've said stems from the very tiny knowledge in my head. And I stand to be corrected.

rex444:
Love is dead ....... But I still believe everyone has that one person they click with .

AsherAmari:


Click with on what bases? For their selfish reasons and personal gains? That's my concern.

AsherAmari:


Hmm.. this is sad.
How can she be advising you on such? What she fails to understand is, one day she might be used as the lamb for sacrifice.

That kind if girl will push you into robbery. Just be careful.



There was no way I could have stayed. Not with all the diseases in town. Good riddance.



Apt.

bigpicture001:


No.. U don't get it... Am. The one suggesting it to her... ND begged her.. ND she aggreed

AsherAmari:



Exactly my point.

Many have even lost touch of the truth meaning and definition of love and are prophesing lust all over the place.

Imagine a man trying to woo a girl and he'll be like.. I "love" those hot legs. So, what if tomorrow, those hot legs are gone?? The "love" is gone.

I saw a documentary of a man who had no legs but he's happily married with a son. The woman saw something beyond the legs that drew her to him. Now, that is true love.

Kondomatic:


The reason most relationships, friendships and marriages pack up these days is most times because of this "ME FIRST MENTALITY" that most people have.

People these days don't care about you. They have 100% interest in only them and about them.

It's not always ABOUT YOU.

When I do things for people, outsiders, I do it without expecting anything in return but if I am picking a friend, I pick one that will be USEFUL because I will be USEFUL.

Take time and think about this.

In most relationships, it's usually one person doing everything to make it work and another person doing exactly the opposite.

When the one doing the right thing eventually gets tired, the azhole will say "you've changed" and that's the end of the relationship.

Our relationships suck because we think we are more important than the other person.

Ask a man to define a real woman and he will define a servant.
Ask a woman what she wants in a man and all the things she will list will involve serving her needs.

Why? We believe the other person doesn't matter.

Everybody wants Miss or Mr right but truth is that marrying the right person won't guarantee successful marriage, marriage lasts when you marry the right person and you're a right person.

Friendship/relationship is beautiful when you are with a good person and you're a good person.

It takes two like minds to tango.
Selfishness destroys a lot and selfishness now has a new name "self love".

I avoid people that preach self love.
They're evil

They're selfish

And selfishness ess kills marriages and relationships, prolly why the Bible said in Philippians 2:4
I quote "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."

Now imagine this marriage where a man is working for the interests of the woman and woman is working for the interests of the man.
Beautiful huh?

The reason we cheat on our partner is because we believe that our sexual satisfaction is more important than their happiness/feelings. ME FIRST.

The reason we haven't called our partner even though we've not spoken for a day is because we believe they should be the one to call. ME FIRST.

The reason you won't submit to your husband until he proves his love? ME FIRST.

The reason you want submissive wife but cannot show love? ME FIRST.

I could go on but let me end it here.

bigpicture001:


If you had stayed, he would still end up with you... Lemme tell you, lack of money for may years restrict guys from fulfilling their emotional fantasies.. So when the unlock hey comes, it's normal he misbehaves for sometime, Tuface did same, many of them. But in d end when it's time to settle, granted there was a good girl from the beginning.. Men tend to go back to them...

Men are not like women who easily flush old struggles with a partner in the toilet.. Especially wen no new girl helped them get the financial balance they sought..

I excused my ex then that weneva I get financial balance, sh wild tolerate me for 6months to womanise... I hav never enjoyed my life..always planning...sh understood and agreed.. ND knows am serious..

U just took it too serious.. But am sorry abt how it ended anyways

AsherAmari:



Hmmm... Like I said earlier, the issue of money can not be overlooked. And women are naturally wired to like comfort. Even men like confort . So, She can be excused a little in that area.


What if I cite my own experience?
My last relationship which ended since 2016.

I met this guy in 2013. He had no job but had very high prospects. so I believed in him.

Along the line I got a job and we were still good together until he landed a job in Chevron few years after. Then he began to misbehave. Frolicking with different girls to the point I couldn't take it anylonger. So I called it quits.

Though it took me years to try getting into one or two other "relationships" again but then I discovered it's no longer worth it as what we now have is a mirage of the original thing. Babies in adults skin.


Just take it that, you were never meant to be.