This story isnt mine but for a worried soul

I married my wife eight years ago and we are blessed with two children. We have enjoyed peace in our home and never had any serious problems apart from one or two challenges which aren’t too much for our marriage to cope with.

I love my wife so much and I believe she loves me too; though we did not date before we got married.

Now there is one thing she does regularly which irritates me, she is fond of keeping male friends to the extent that she is still in touch with her old boyfriends. She takes their calls any day and any time. If I ask for the identity of the person she is talking to, she would say a friend she recently met on her way to either the market or any place.

She would add that the person knows she is married but doesn’t mind being her friend.

What has pushed me to seek your help is what happened recently. We were in bed around 10:30 p.m. as husband and wife trying to make love when she received a call.

After about 10minutes on the phone, she told me that it was her old boyfriend who called.

At that point, I didn’t say or attempt to do anything again with her. I simply turned my back on her and slept off. Though she has tried to explain to me that there is nothing going on between her and these men, I have advised her many times to stop keeping them but all fell on deaf ears. I am a kind of person that hates to talk too much and my decision now is to divorce her so she can have time to try those her so-called ‘just friends’.

fellow Niaralander pls help Him

You want to divorce her because she has male friends?choi!

This is sad but not new. Women love lots of attention. Even if they have the most adoring,caring and attentive husband in the world,its never enough 4 them. What you should do is let her understand you did not bargain 4 this. Ask her 2 put herself in ur shoes. How would she feel if old time gfs and ladies you "met on the way" kept calling repeatedly. Let her know that u cannot continue pretending "all is well". If she flares up while u are telling her this,something fishy is definitely going on that she aims to defend. If she continues recieving her calls,you have every moral right to end the marriage. Its things like these that send men to their early graves. Women MOST TIMES dont appreciate what they've got till they lose it. Personally, i cannot tolerate such nonsense in a serious relationship and this is a "marriage" we are talking about.

I think she keeps doing this because she already knows what U are capable of, I mean how active U are and also what U r upto. Ladies/women takes inactive guys/men for granted.

This doesn't really need divorcing, but your active, sensible, and action response towards her unacceptable behavior.

Though there is nothing wrong with being a gentlemen, but if it's too much, there are certain things your wife would be doing of which U won't be able to be in control of that situation or of her.

One just really need to be smart with women and handle them the way they required.

There is nothing wrong if your wife has male friends. But she has to be able to know were to draw the line. She should have at least some respect for you and your marriage. No sensible guy should call a married woman at that time of the night when he knows the woman will be with her husband , if he has anything 2 talk about he has morning, afternoon and evening not late in the night. And your wife should respect you enough not to have such a long conversation with the guy when you guys are together, even if she is talking with her female friends. You should let her know how you feel about the phone calls.

NONSENSICAL!
My wife does not have a single male friend. What has light and darkness got in common. Married woman should never ever again keep male friends. Male colleagues, Yes with restrictions. Male Friends, ABOMINATION. If you think I am outdated that is your problems. Your wife even mingle with her ex-boyfriends. Did she pay your dowry?

simpleseyi:

NONSENSICAL!
My wife does not have a single male friend. What has light and darkness got in common. Married woman should never ever again keep male friends. Male colleagues, Yes with restrictions. Male Friends, ABOMINATION. If you think I am outdated that is your problems. Your wife even mingle with her ex-boyfriends. Did she pay your dowry?

Chairman take it easy oooo. Anyway, I concur with ya.

simpleseyi:

NONSENSICAL!
My wife does not have a single male friend. What has light and darkness got in common. Married woman should never ever again keep male friends. Male colleagues, Yes with restrictions. Male Friends, ABOMINATION. If you think I am outdated that is your problems. Your wife even mingle with her ex-boyfriends. Did she pay your dowry?

GBAM!!

oooopppsss , you wife and i have something in common. I dated a guy who dumped me like hot coal because he couldnt stand the fact that i had male friends, a lot of male friends . thankfully i am married to a lovely man who doesnt seem to mind. when we started dating, i was afraid of picking their calls when im with him and this actually upsets him. later he told me that he though i was double-dating. my husband knows all my male friends especially the ones i keep constant touch with, this includes my ex-es; some have even forged good relationship with him and have helped each other. some cases, they have even sidelined me o , some even call him when they cant reach me, my own bad reach like that . we had a serious talk, where he told me that he doesnt mind at all but made me understand that i will be at the losing end if he suspects anything, which is the simple truth

which would you prefer? that you know about this men and what they are in her life or she keeps them secretly. I think you should talk to her seriously, dont shout o! let her know that even though you are not the talking type, you simply dont like this, and let her know how you feel. as for the picking a call in the night from her ex-boyfriend when you are about to be intimate with her, THAT IS A NO-NO

you need speak up. for me, after my talk with my husband, ol boy, i respect myself o! i still have my male friends o! but i respect my husband.

Some women are such hypocrites!!!! imagine some of their response, sooooooooooooo, if you see or find or hear your husband or boyfriend with strings of juicy looking girls including his Exs, mingling and jingling with them, you would hug him and shout hurray ? haba !!!!! you girls are the most insecured, jealous and extra suspicious creature on this planet earth !!!!!!

@Poster,

Word of 9ice - "What kind of friendship can be between a dog and a lion" , correct her and if she doesn't change, she can as well have all the freedom she wants without the marriage !!!!! shikena !!!! total rubbish !!!!! can you imagine the excuses women give ? " I like lots of male friends my foot!!!!!!"

OP,

You too should start keeping a bevy of female friends and let them even call you at night sext with them and do it in her face.

Even call some of them darling, Honey etc

dayokanu:

OP,

You too should start keeping a bevy of female friends and let them even call you at night sext with them and do it in her face.

Even call some of them darling, Honey etc

Kai!!! This no go bad o! I think picking calls late at night and chatting with them is a No no!!! The ex that called late at night or any man that calls a married woman late at night does not have respect for that marriage or the husband. There shoukd be boundaries in every freedom

//

Hmm Evilspirit! Evilspirit!! evilspirit!!! how many times did i call u. Leave that woman alone. U are the reason she is behaving like that.

is she from west or? God will help.

Divorce her jooooor, she must be a Nigerian am sure, Nigerian babes home or abroad smh.

chaircover:

I think that couples should respect one another. They should also stop for a minute and try to wear the other persons shoes and see how it feels. How would I feel if my husband and I are about to get frisky and some ex-girlfriend calls him and he goes off and takes a half hour call.

Nothing wrong in having friends of the opposite sex, but only if you carry your partner along, your partner doesn't feel sidelined and is the type who feels confident enough to trust you not to do anything silly and if the friendships with the opposite sex are not encroaching on your relationship with your own partner.

I have male friends that I mainly met at work and in the line of my business, but my husband knows of every single one of them. Nothing is done behind his back and a lot of them including their wives have become family friends. Same thing applies to his own female friends. There is a place for things done in moderation.

We do not keep ex's as friends.

Gbam!

are we talking of lover or just friend?

can we differentiate between the two pls

The man should also be querried for not listening to the truth or is he cheating too,

evilspirit:

This story isnt mine but for  a worried soul

I married my wife eight years ago and we are blessed with two children. We have enjoyed peace in our home and never had any serious problems apart from one or two challenges which aren’t too much for our marriage to cope with.

I love my wife so much and I believe she loves me too; though we did not date before we got married.

Now there is one thing she does regularly which irritates me, she is fond of keeping male friends to the extent that she is still in touch with her old boyfriends. She takes their calls any day and any time. If I ask for the identity of the person she is talking to, she would say a friend she recently met on her way to either the market or any place.

She would add that the person knows she is married but doesn’t mind being her friend.

What has pushed me to seek your help is what happened recently. We were in bed around 10:30 p.m. as husband and wife trying to make love when she received a call.

After about 10minutes on the phone, she told me that it was her old boyfriend who called.

At that point, I didn’t say or attempt to do anything again with her. I simply turned my back on her and slept off. Though she has tried to explain to me that there is nothing going on between her and these men, I have advised her many times to stop keeping them but all fell on deaf ears. I am a kind of person that hates to talk too much and my decision now is to divorce her so she can have time to try those her so-called ‘just friends’.

fellow Niaralander pls help Him

There is noting wrong in a lady having lots of male friends, probably she flows easily with males.
but what i think is she does nt know when to draw the line, that is where respect [/b]comes in.
what is to b shared with another male friends that can not b shared wth your spouse [b](thats d communication link).
I am not saying u shld b suspicious, she may mean no harm. Talk to her and try to share your opinion on the problem. Ask if you can likewise contribute to what she talks to others abt ( cos this is a relationship, no longer abt u but us).

If you know that you have not cheated on her and that you have been faithful to her all the time  of your marriage, then it is left for you to decide if you can put up with her behaviour or not.  I don't know who is the bread winner in the family.  Women tend to take their husbands for granted when they start to earn substantial income.  It gets into their head so much and sometimes some of them forget that they came into the marriage with absolutely nothing.

it doesn't mean

Na now i dey come ooo, wetin una dey discos?

just slap her anything she takes any of thier calls, then she will know how serious you are, don't just sit there like mugu and act as if  everything is ok. something maybe going on,

@ op
I understand what you going through. Give her the threat that u want a divorce if it continues and see her reaction. If she argues with you and insist on keeping male friends then there is a problem. I don't see any reason why a married woman will make male friends on her way to market etc. if it was at work place, it is understood. No reasonable man will call a married woman for 10mins at night if there is no hidden agenda.

pawa4ul:

No don't do anything! Abi you said she took the call by 10:30pm while you were trying to arrange for love making. The next one will be by 11pm when you are already inside, and she will push you away to take the important calls that matter to her.
She knows that you can tolerate such rubbish that is why she is doing it anyway.
My friend, open your eyes. If they are open and you still seem blind, then use onions to wash them fast.
Guys, can you imagine your wives taking a call by 10:30pm and proudly/boldly telling  you to your face that it was their ex-guy that called. I hate to imagine the action that will follow.

You need to be firm when dealing with a woman lest she take you for granted. She probably told the guy that he can call her anytime. She ll will tell him my Hubby is understanding. @ POSTER WAKE UP B4 THEY NACK U APACKO

kl2020:

just slap her anything she takes any of thier calls, then she will know how serious you are, don't just sit there like mugu and act as if  everything is ok. something maybe going on,

On point. If i were in your shoes, though i wont slap her but take the phone from her and talk sense into her head. After all you married her

Continue to replace her sim card until she repent. if she raised any eye brow,sit her down and talk to her on how u feel. Do u let her know how deeply u love her ? Do u show her love? Do u call her regularly when u are not with her ? All what she need is extra attention , love , care, Not divorce. "ORI BIBE KO NI OGUN ORI FIFO".

lily0231:

Continue to replace her sim card until she repent. if she raised any eye brow,sit her down and talk to her on how u feel. Do u let her know how deeply u love her ? Do u show her love? Do u call her regularly when u are not with her ? All what she need is extra attention , love , care, Not divorce. "ORI BIBE KO NI OGUN ORI FIFO".

He should not go to work again ? @ OP READ THE RIOT ACT. LEST U RE NOT MAN ENOUGH

9icelag:

You need to be firm when dealing with a woman lest she take you for granted. She probably told the guy that he can call her anytime. She ll will tell him my Hubby is understanding. @ POSTER WAKE UP B4 THEY NACK U APACKO

true, once a married woman keeps too many male friends, know that it is a problem

I am loving these last comments

ritux:

@ op
I don't see any reason why a married woman will make male friends on her way to market [/color]etc. if it was at work place, it is understood. No reasonable man will call a married woman for 10mins at night if there is no hidden agenda.

yes o! even tennagers dey do smal shakara sef. I think there is more to the story that will make the man not to say anything even at the point of going to his promise land. I still talk with my ex o! but the guy or any guy knows better than to call me at night up to action time. i know my husband wont mind but because i respect him , i will not pick that call.

pawa4ul:

[color=#990000]No don't do anything! Abi you said she took the call by 10:30pm while you were trying to arrange for love making. The next one will be by 11pm when you are already inside, and she will push you away to take the important calls that matter to her.
She knows that you can tolerate such rubbish that is why she is doing it anyway.
My friend, open your eyes. If they are open and you still seem blind, then use onions to wash them fast.
Guys, can you imagine your wives taking a call by 10:30pm and proudly/boldly telling you to your face that it was their ex-guy that called. I hate to imagine the action that will follow.

kai!!! truth is always bitter sha. Enough said. be the head of your family, be firm in setting boundaries and respect is very key. I dont think she knows that you really dont like it maybe you dey tell her with a smile on your face. dont beat her sha but be very stern.

.