If  I have enough "kush" I would be down with my wife staying at home and en-joyyy. The sole reason for people allowing their wives to work is to assist in the upkeep of the home. So it depends largely on your ability to shoulder the home's responsibilities.

I dont like the idea myself but will prefer to have a biz of mine own, so as to take proper care of my children.

McDoe:

If I have enough "kush" I would be down with my wife staying at home and en-joyyy. The sole reason for people allowing their wives to work is to assist in the upkeep of the home. So it depends largely on your ability to shoulder the home's responsibilities.

I've heard that line from several men a good number of times.
100% of the time what they really mean by their wives "staying at home ad enjoying" is that she should count herself a full time house girl.
It is men like you who will not lift a finger to help in the house simply because while you are busy "working hard" to provide for the family, she is busy "staying at home and enjoying" with all the dishes, laundary, cleaning the house, doing the family shopping, cooking 20 meals a day, taking care of 5 kids, managing the bills and then staying strong enough to satisfy the master in bed. What a way to "stay at home and enjoy".

I'd rather marry a career woman.

@davidylan
You are generalising. If you prefer a working woman it doesn\t mean anyone that does not is a slave driver in disguise.

davidylan:

I've heard that line from several men a good number of times.
100% of the time what they really mean by their wives "staying at home ad enjoying" is that she should count herself a full time house girl.
It is men like you who will not lift a finger to help in the house simply because while you are busy "working hard" to provide for the family, she is busy "staying at home and enjoying" with all the dishes, laundary, cleaning the house, doing the family shopping, cooking 20 meals a day, taking care of 5 kids, managing the bills and then staying strong enough to satisfy the master in bed. What a way to "stay at home and enjoy".

I'd rather marry a career woman.

I disagree with this. Cleaning the house, doing the laundry, dishes, shopping, cooking, and caring for kids is just as important as working a 8-5 job. I don't see why someone working a full-time job should be guilted into doing more work at home. Perhaps the issue is the incorrect belief that "staying at home" is going to be a bed of roses. It is not . . . unless you hire maids to do all the work for you. There is work involved, just like there is work involved with . . .going to work. So what exactly is the big deal? One person works at a traditional job, the other person works at home.

tufia kwa, chei, house wife ke? puhleeeeeeeeeeeese
being a house wife doesnt make the woman a lesser being.
i mean being a house wife is a full time job and no mean fit.

i hear some guys saying working woman and house wife, u go help for house work so.
abi u think is easy. she goes to work and comes home to continue working
u as a man comes back from work and sits in front of the tv watching football.

anyway as for me i dont mind being a hse wife as long as there is plenty dosh to spend. hse wife is a job
too and he will pay me salary. i keep myself busy spending his cash, tending our kids and making the hse a home,
a haven.

boredom is not an issue. chekena

workin mom is beta,that way the mind wont be idle.

A working woman who hastn't lost her housewife characteristics would be appropriate

Well what about having a two year old, working full time, studying in the last year of my degree, cooking three meals for the day/evening/night, cleaning, attending to the child. I am not entitled to a home help. I am white lady. Do you think a naija lady work work full time, raise A child, study and do all the household chores??

Leilah:

Well what about having a two year old, working full time, studying in the last year of my degree, cooking three meals for the day/evening/night, cleaning, attending to the child. I am not entitled to a home help. I am white lady. Do you think a naija lady work work full time, raise A child, study and do all the household chores??

Yes!! big time more than an average American lady. Even a typical village woman with 10 children has a business, takes care of her home (no laundry machine or dish washer or car to go shopping) etc. So Leilah, you are yet to jam a typical naija woman, smile. They can do more than you are presently doing. No offense to your current role.

Leilah, u only have to deal with teh husband and the kids and school and cooking, nigerian woman has to deal with all that and as well as the in-laws and at same time her own parents, i am not saying you not trying, all i am saying is that, it aint easy and i think most of the brodas are starting to come around and respect what the ladies are doing and even helping big time.

Poster: I still blv that either a stay home Mom or wife or going to a 9 - 5pm job, it is all not easy, cos staying home with kids is not easy, it is boring, it will drive the woman crazy, i think it is easier to go to work than staying home with kids, changing dem diapers, feeding them and all that. so we need to give cridt to dem ladies.

I'm not comparing myself to a naija lady and I don't intend to behave like one (although I do a lot more than most white women would) thats not what I'm trying to find out. What i am trying to establish is:

If a lady works full time and studies and has children and does all the cooking and cleaning is there any form of help available from the husband? or does he sit there waiting to be looked after all the time? I mean the woman obviously has her own money because she works, so if she works and gets her own income but still has to raise kids, cook, clean, run all the errands etc etc. So, where does the husband come into this? I imaged that the lady would perform all these duties given that the husband is the sole provider, so whats the position? generally, would he not offer some help given that he NOT the SOLE PROVIDER and if so what help would that be?

Leilah, aint saying ur husband is a king in your kingdom, however, he is living it, cos there is nothing wrong in the man helping out, he could be looking after the kids while u cooking, or washing the dishes while you cooking and the kids are telling u some nice story.

Well it depends; she mustn’t be a full time house wife. She has to be engaged in something; not just sitting at home all day. A woman who sits home 24 / 7 isn’t the ideal product for a wife.

I love and cherish hard working women; not lazy ones.

Leila - it depends on the man. Some Nigerian men are bone idle in the house. Some do a lot. Same as any other group of men (but I think most of them try not to do much).

I bet i prefer a working woman once there enough time for her to help run the family smothly.
Also extra income might be needed wen things goes tough economically, u neva can tell

Well, in my opinion, I would love to be a working class mamma but if it is a job that does not allow me to see my children and my sweet husband, I would not hesitate to kiss that job goodbye. I would not mind sacrificing my many years at primary, secondary school and my B.A Hons for my family. Life is all about making compromises.

Well, as for me i want to be a part-time house-wife and a business woman ,as know matter how busy im at work i still want to have enough time to spend with my husband and kids and i definately do not want a full house-keeper,weekly cleaner is ok and thats all.

Finacially,i do not want to be in a situation where i will keep asking my husband for money whenever i need it,so i will also work hard to be finacially secured and to contribute to the family.

A working woman please, no matter how stress full, two salaries are better than one. And y should the woman suffer in doing all the house work, house work is tiring ppl.

God forbid me 2 be a house wife 2 any man. this problem arise from the men that are wealthy.
after passing thru the university stress and sleepess nights, a man will tell u 2 sit at home look after his kids while he work all the money.

there should be a writing agreement even b4 marriage, NO HOUSEWIFE-SHIP

There are seasons in every relationship. No woman wants to be a full time housewife, but when the children start coming some sacrifices have to be made. Societal and cultural expectations mean that it is mostly women who stay at home at such times and the man remains the breadwinner. It's only on the rare occassion that the man does the school run and with a lot of grumbling too. My sister is a stay at home mum, although she owns a salon which she hardly goes to because of the demands of raising three young boys. I see her husband take her for granted all the time. Jobs are few and far between, so not every woman can have a career or even that family business which is the ideal situation. I see how much my sister does everyday, running up and down in Lagos traffic trying to get one or two other things going so that she can have some of her own money. Her life exhausts me and her husband comes home with a dour attitude and never appreciates anything she does. It's sad, when you are a full time housewife. Everybody takes you for granted. But that's the situation many a woman finds herself.

Quite funny most men I am sure want a working woman, yet SOME of these men will still argue the woman should do all the housework and looking after kids and them instead of them sharing the responsibilities and rights. Anyway I am happy atleast they value a woman who works, some years ago that in itself would have been an abomination. Slowly we are progressing, it can't move fast enough though!

Next stop FEMALE PRESIDENT FOR NAIJA!

me personally i would want to own my own business (which is on the creative side) but on the other hand have time for my husband and family as a whole. i dont mind cooking and light cleanin wiv the help of a maid. but i have promised myself no one will feed my family and bring up my kids for me, God forbid!! house help will know her/ his level o she/he will do onli certain things while il handle the rest like preparing most of the meals e.g soup and other serious dishes but she/he can turn " ebba", lolll but no serious cooking for my family.
so yes il have time to do both but my family COMES FIRST!!! and if i have to quit certain things to take care of home, il do it in a heartbeat!!!

May be if i tell you this story you will know what men are capable of being.

A lady got married and had two kids but the man died few years later thank God she was working and she was able to take care of her chidren without her in-laws effort.she re-married and the new husband is another thing else to the extent of stopping her from going to work which really affected her and she had to pull out of work.she had two children for this man and still she is the only one taking care of this children.

Another lady have a plan of working before her marriage but the job was not coming forth and the fiance encouraged her that they should get married that her problem will be his problem which is a good promise not long enough they were faced with the challenges of having children and through all she has to give-up her work for them to have children but all through things have been manage manage she has to beg for money so which do you now prefer?

I cannot be a housewife. It's too much work for me! Stronger women can handle it but me? -no!

Here in Canada, women get 1 year off of work (paid) to care for the children. At the end of the year, I was so tired. Returning to work was a relief.

In our country, it is also common for fathers to take several months away from work to help with newborn babies. My male workmates who opted to stay home ALL said the same thing: "Ah, it's so nice and relaxing to be back at work!"

My husband stayed home with our daughter for a week. Then he came to me and said, "Having children is SO much work. It's rewarding but too much work. I don't think we can have 6 kids afterall. I'm done." hehe, after a week!

No, I'd much rather have a career. It's so much less work and you actually get appreciation.

I have to work, even if it is part time. With the constant rise in the cost of living, both husband and wife should work even if one person works part time outside the home. In the event that one spouse gets laid off, the family won't find themselves on the street.

@ post

Definately a working woman Although I'd like to be able to take a career break when children come into play, but I can NEVER be a full time housewife. My mum did it and I never heard the end of it, of how bored and lonely she was  So career woman all the way 

working mother

i work in a bank presently, and it seems m the only one( mother) complaining that i need anoda job or a biz that will give me control over my time and enbale me to have time for my husband and 14 month old daughter (and other kids to come .)

m always on the fone to know how my daughter is doing and anytime my helper doesnt pick up the fone i go crazy with panic ,

other women here in my office seem comfortable with the idea of leaving the house very early and coming back late, and sometimes having to work weekends .

hhmm, some have up to 3 children and they are still here !! wow

one even asked me , "how can you resign ? you want to go and be waiting on your husband at home abi ? hhmm, don't try it ooo "

it gets me confused i dont seem to understand and that s one reason m still here cos it seems m the one witjh the wrong attitude,

well, before the end of this year i m setting up my biz and resigning from this time deprivingwork that i dont even enjoy doing,

i wont be a full time house wife, i m too intelligent for that,

but i love my family too much to continue like this

@nenyenwato I can imagine how stressful a bank can be. I spent time there and I can tell you there are few fond memories except for missing the people I worked with.

Its even more dangerous for a young marriage. Little time to develop the intimacy they need.

working women all the way. I didnt suffer four years of university for nothing. I dont need a college education to be a wife and raise kids.What if something happens to the man and he cant work then what?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGlXhzbAloM

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