Permit me to rant a little but its become so hard to be a good girl. The pressure is too much. I feel like nothing works for me anymore because I'm not allowing myself to follow trends. Is there even any assurance that there's a reward for not doing bad things or will i grow old regretting my wasted youth that I did not use to have fun. The difference between my friends and I is always so clear. I honestly can't point out 3 of my peers (classmates, old friends new friends relatives) who uphold integrity like I've been taught to do. Everything is about money now anything to grab the bag. I try my best to be as independent as I can so I don't feel as much pressure to go into illicit dealings out of desperation but it seems like none of that is paying off. My first job was at the age of 17 the same year I finished my secondary school not necessarily because i needed the money then (i was still very young and very dependent on my parents) but because i was trying to build myself towards independence in fact during that period my older siblings were at home relaxing. I dedicated my time to only productive things.. No flexing no partying nada. I was all about work work work. I thought I was disciplinhg myself but in the long term I don't really see how that had helped. Anyway I left the job at the age of 18 because I was being used by my boss. A whole year of service and I'd only gotten paid for 3 months. Now to the present, I'm in my early 20's and I have a truckload of work experience which hasnt really been of any help to me. Recently, I attended a wedding not as a guest but for work purposes and I met some of my old schoolmates, every single person seems to be doing well from hair to clothes right down to their skin its obvious that these people are on bar. whether its illicit money oo or legit money i really dont know but what i saw was that this people were doing way better off than me. Its easier to say it's fake life when you see them on social media but when you come face to face with physical evidence there's obviously no denial...now this really got me thinking...is there any use maintaining this whole good girl thing? E no dey even pay. Besides in the long run its not like these girls can't settle down. and turn a new leaf isn't that eating your cake and having it back...what do I even have to gain from all this...moreover even the legit work I'm trying to do people have refused to regard it. Not because I'm not offering quality services oo but because I refuse to play dumb and satisfy their pervertous taste. At work, i often get advances from older men and married men which makes up a higher percentage of my customer base. This advances which i can easily manipulate to my advantage and monetize i turn down. On the other hand im aware that if i do decide to play along knowing fully well i have no intentions to reciprocate their feelings (which is technically scamming) i could make so much money not only for my business but for my pocket as well. Ater turning down several advances I decided to give it a try today. I gave an older man from work my number. As appreciation for giving him my number I received a shocking alert of over 30k. This is money that I will toil and toil for weeks in business I will not see but just for phone number I was gifted this? I really need some convincing at this point that good does pay. I don't want to waste away my beneficial years when I could be utilizing it.

You can eat your cake and still have it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Do what you have to do. At the end, it'll be you dealing with whatever decisions you chose.

You could find a way out or keep toiling and trying connect A to B.

Smartwork first, then hardwork pays nowadays

Wait for your time. Don't look at the fact your mates are doing better than you now. You don't know their way, you don't know the things they do to get their money. Just don't give up on yourself nor your Job


I understand you perfectly. But also know God's time is the best.

sounds like you are not happy with the way things are in your life, lemme remind you that you are in Nigeria, Things are hard and Even prayers are now hard too , how can someone say "dangote go be your friend "

anyway I believe your peace of mind and doing what make you feel happy is more important. The way i know it, if you want to do something, ask yourself if you can do the thing in the presence of any fvckin' human being.


There are people that derived peace, happiness, joy and money from doing bad things you can't even imagine and vice versa.

Lol.
Different strokes for different folks .

I use to be the party "rich" babe back in school.we were 6 in the room and I was the hot babe.
Lol.
Seen the good,bad ,ugly and worst more.

Don't feel pressured Honey.its totally not worth it.
Some of them are waaaay more ahead of me now . Successful careers ,more degrees ,good marriages ,kids , travelling abroad like it's so cheap...not just on social medias ,in real life too.

Good girls marry ...to good men and have happy endings.
I understand that pressure and feeling of "bad luck" .lol.
Use this time to work on yourself ,get degrees ,learn skills and be contented with the little you have.

I remember my friend(bedmate) then asked us to learn sewing during one long ASUU strike (then the Aluu 4 incidence happened too) so we had enough time ,I no gree oh .
Dear ,that fashion designing she learnt then is fetching her good cash now .she has a garment factory with employees.
If you want her to sew your clothes by herself,just keep 10/15k including me her friend.

One got a marriage proposal from a guy abroad(his mum recommended her ) and married immediately after Nysc.they are almost 10 years today now ,with kids and doing well.this was a girl that survived on 7k per month feeding allowance in school , without boyfriend oh.

The other one is married to a pastor .

Where are all the blackberries,the brazilian weaves ,the trendy clothes I wasted my time running after?.
I'm doing well for myself (still broke abeg)and I'm married BUT not as much as I would have done if ,if,if,if and plenty IFS.

Where are/were all the men booking flights upandan? Paying me monthly salaries and I felt like the Queen of Niger delta
Chasing after the new hot girls once they're tired of you. There will ALWAYS be younger girls prettier than you , they just use you and discard eventually.


I remember asking my sister(another testimony of good girl with a happy ending till forever) for a favor one time and she said "every action has good or bad consequences ,face yours and never helped.
That word stuck till date.

I graduated sef was by luck .

Not disputing the fact that some 'bad' get happy endings. It's a whole diabolic and dark world I can't talk about for some ...while others are just God's GRACE,Mercy and good fate.



This is a letter from my older self to my younger self .

Focus, learn,live and pray!
Best of luck.

poshestmina:

Thank you very much for your post, this particular one has really encouraged me

You are free to do whatever you want to do in life, but you are not free from the consequences of it.

I understand your write-up, because I am facing similar stuff. Even at times some of relatives call me mumu for being honest, truthful and being a good boy. But I don't let that get to me cause I know where I am going in life.

Lastly, do what's right and don't let anyone pressure you at all, be it your friends or anybody. Do the right thing and be consistent with it. God sees your heart.

N.B :Learn to network and be informed.

poshestmina:
Lol.
Different strokes for different folks .

I use to be the party "rich" babe back in school.we were 6 in the room and I was the hot babe.
Lol.
Seen the good,bad ,ugly and worst more.

Don't feel pressured Honey.its totally not worth it.
Some of them are waaaay more ahead of me now . Successful careers ,more degrees ,good marriages ,kids , travelling abroad like it's so cheap...not just on social medias ,in real life too.

Good girls marry ...to good men and have happy endings.
I understand that pressure and feeling of "bad luck" .lol.
Use this time to work on yourself ,get degrees ,learn skills and be contented with the little you have.

I remember my friend(bedmate) then asked us to learn sewing during one long ASUU strike (then the Aluu 4 incidence happened too) so we had enough time ,I no gree oh .
Dear ,that fashion designing she learnt then is fetching her good cash now .she has a garment factory with employees.
If you want her to sew your clothes by herself,just keep 10/15k including me her friend.

One got a marriage proposal from a guy abroad(his mum recommended her ) and married immediately after Nysc.they are almost 10 years today now ,with kids and doing well.this was a girl that survived on 7k per month feeding allowance in school , without boyfriend oh.

The other one is married to a pastor .

Where are all the blackberries,the brazilian weaves ,the trendy clothes I wasted my time running after?.
I'm doing well for myself (still broke abeg)and I'm married BUT not as much as I would have done if ,if,if,if and plenty IFS.

Where are/were all the men booking flights upandan? Paying me monthly salaries and I felt like the Queen of Niger delta
Chasing after the new hot girls once they're tired of you. There will ALWAYS be younger girls prettier than you , they just use you and discard eventually.


I remember asking my sister(another testimony of good girl with a happy ending till forever) for a favor one time and she said "every action has good or bad consequences ,face yours and never helped.
That word stuck till date.

I graduated sef was by luck .

Not disputing the fact that some 'bad' get happy endings. It's a whole diabolic and dark world I can't talk about for some ...while others are just God's GRACE,Mercy and good fate.



This is a letter from my older self to my younger self .

Focus, learn,live and pray!
Best of luck.

@Bolded, Uniport Babe spotted!!!!

Hotonions:
Permit me to rant a little but its become so hard to be a good girl. The pressure is too much. I feel like nothing works for me anymore because I'm not allowing myself to follow trends. Is there even any assurance that there's a reward for not doing bad things or will i grow old regretting my wasted youth that I did not use to have fun. The difference between my friends and I is always so clear. I honestly can't point out 3 of my peers (classmates, old friends new friends relatives) who uphold integrity like I've been taught to do. Everything is about money now anything to grab the bag. I try my best to be as independent as I can so I don't feel as much pressure to go into illicit dealings out of desperation but it seems like none of that is paying off. My first job was at the age of 17 the same year I finished my secondary school not necessarily because i needed the money then (i was still very young and very dependent on my parents) but because i was trying to build myself towards independence in fact during that period my older siblings were at home relaxing. I dedicated my time to only productive things.. No flexing no partying nada. I was all about work work work. I thought I was disciplinhg myself but in the long term I don't really see how that had helped. Anyway I left the job at the age of 18 because I was being used by my boss. A whole year of service and I'd only gotten paid for 3 months. Now to the present, I'm in my early 20's and I have a truckload of work experience which hasnt really been of any help to me. Recently, I attended a wedding not as a guest but for work purposes and I met some of my old schoolmates, every single person seems to be doing well from hair to clothes right down to their skin its obvious that these people are on bar. whether its illicit money oo or legit money i really dont know but what i saw was that this people were doing way better off than me. Its easier to say it's fake life when you see them on social media but when you come face to face with physical evidence there's obviously no denial...now this really got me thinking...is there any use maintaining this whole good girl thing? E no dey even pay. Besides in the long run its not like these girls can't settle down. and turn a new leaf isn't that eating your cake and having it back...what do I even have to gain from all this...moreover even the legit work I'm trying to do people have refused to regard it. Not because I'm not offering quality services oo but because I refuse to play dumb and satisfy their pervertous taste. At work, i often get advances from older men and married men which makes up a higher percentage of my customer base. This advances which i can easily manipulate to my advantage and monetize i turn down. On the other hand im aware that if i do decide to play along knowing fully well i have no intentions to reciprocate their feelings (which is technically scamming) i could make so much money not only for my business but for my pocket as well. Ater turning down several advances I decided to give it a try today. I gave an older man from work my number. As appreciation for giving him my number I received a shocking alert of over 30k. This is money that I will toil and toil for weeks in business I will not see but just for phone number I was gifted this? I really need some convincing at this point that good does pay. I don't want to waste away my beneficial years when I could be utilizing it.

Send me a pm

This is my advise for you....you can be a good girl,but at the same time.use your head and be smart when it comes with handling men.for me,I dont ever succor to any lady having sex for money or dating married men,but you can exploit those married men for money since na money dem dey claim to get and want to spend.i know a lady in Abuja who deals with these married men who want to spend on her ,they end up spending and spending till they are tired and did not see any coochie.sometimes I follow her to the hangouts spots and sit far away and sip my own beer.see,this lady made more than 2m from one stupid foreigner who just dey spend anyhow begging her to be his gf.the man said he made close to 50m last dec from his company in Nigeria.right now he has seen that she is not interested and he is begging to buy a car for her only if she have sex,but this lady is principled and told him its over.use your head my dear,be smart.To make money in naija now no be beans o.who those married men and oyibo wan report to now,den no force you na,na you say you wan spend money,so keep spending till you tire...lol

Aaaaarghmed:
This is my advise for you....you can be a good girl,but at the same time.use your head and be smart when it comes with handling men.for me,I dont ever succor to any lady having sex for money or dating married men,but you can exploit those married men for money since na money dem dey claim to get and want to spend.i know a lady in Abuja who deals with these married men who want to spend on her ,they end up spending and spending till they are tired and did not see any coochie.sometimes I follow her to the hangouts spots and sit far away and sip my own beer.see,this lady made more than 2m from one stupid foreigner who just dey spend anyhow begging her to be his gf.the man said he made close to 50m last dec from his company in Nigeria.right now he has seen that she is not interested and he is begging to buy a car for her only if she have sex,but this lady is principled and told him its over.use your head my dear,be smart.To make money in naija now no be beans o.who those married men and oyibo wan report to now,den no force you na,na you say you wan spend money,so keep spending till you tire...lol

I don't support this, those men might later set her up or attack her with diabolical power. It's better to be smart but not to be dubious in dealing.

You see the money, but do you see the whole picture? These women who build a life of being dependent on men often have nothing of their own. These are women who are often abused as well, physically and sexually. And the day the guy leaves them, they're worse than where they started. There's also the fact that this sort of lifestyle has a profound psychological effect. And I don't even want to discuss how bad that can be.

Furthermore, by deciding to do that, you may not realize it, but you're dragging society, and women into the gutter. Why? You're normalizing exploitation. Call it whatever you want, but it's tr4fficking. And you're making men more confident and capable in abusing women financially and physically. You're supporting oppression of women, and teaching young women that it's acceptable. You're basically promoting a Chinese society where women are barely treated as human. I don't think you want to have a hand in that.

Respect yourself.

Hotonions:
Permit me to rant a little but its become so hard to be a good girl. The pressure is too much. I feel like nothing works for me anymore because I'm not allowing myself to follow trends. Is there even any assurance that there's a reward for not doing bad things or will i grow old regretting my wasted youth that I did not use to have fun. The difference between my friends and I is always so clear. I honestly can't point out 3 of my peers (classmates, old friends new friends relatives) who uphold integrity like I've been taught to do. Everything is about money now anything to grab the bag. I try my best to be as independent as I can so I don't feel as much pressure to go into illicit dealings out of desperation but it seems like none of that is paying off. My first job was at the age of 17 the same year I finished my secondary school not necessarily because i needed the money then (i was still very young and very dependent on my parents) but because i was trying to build myself towards independence in fact during that period my older siblings were at home relaxing. I dedicated my time to only productive things.. No flexing no partying nada. I was all about work work work. I thought I was disciplinhg myself but in the long term I don't really see how that had helped. Anyway I left the job at the age of 18 because I was being used by my boss. A whole year of service and I'd only gotten paid for 3 months. Now to the present, I'm in my early 20's and I have a truckload of work experience which hasnt really been of any help to me. Recently, I attended a wedding not as a guest but for work purposes and I met some of my old schoolmates, every single person seems to be doing well from hair to clothes right down to their skin its obvious that these people are on bar. whether its illicit money oo or legit money i really dont know but what i saw was that this people were doing way better off than me. Its easier to say it's fake life when you see them on social media but when you come face to face with physical evidence there's obviously no denial...now this really got me thinking...is there any use maintaining this whole good girl thing? E no dey even pay. Besides in the long run its not like these girls can't settle down. and turn a new leaf isn't that eating your cake and having it back...what do I even have to gain from all this...moreover even the legit work I'm trying to do people have refused to regard it. Not because I'm not offering quality services oo but because I refuse to play dumb and satisfy their pervertous taste. At work, i often get advances from older men and married men which makes up a higher percentage of my customer base. This advances which i can easily manipulate to my advantage and monetize i turn down. On the other hand im aware that if i do decide to play along knowing fully well i have no intentions to reciprocate their feelings (which is technically scamming) i could make so much money not only for my business but for my pocket as well. Ater turning down several advances I decided to give it a try today. I gave an older man from work my number. As appreciation for giving him my number I received a shocking alert of over 30k. This is money that I will toil and toil for weeks in business I will not see but just for phone number I was gifted this? I really need some convincing at this point that good does pay. I don't want to waste away my beneficial years when I could be utilizing it.

You are right in asking these questions, but you are too young to understand the answers.

What your parents taught you is still very valid in this country that has turned upside down.

What you are doing wrong_
1. Measuring yourself by others
2. Making only short term plans

1. The people you think are doing well ste carrying all kinds of problems, concealed in their fine clothes. Some cannot sleep, literally. Some cannot eat, not becsuse they cannot afford it. But they are not able to eat food and enjoy it. These are things you probably take for granted. Finery hides the ugliness in people. Some of the people you met are corpses. Some of the people you met are successful, and evil. Some are successful and not engaged in evil.

Being a bad girl will not necessarily make you rich. Rather it will make you loose self worth and lean towards prostitution. When you ever walk that path there is a point of no return. Where you now can only dream of being the worlds most famous pornster and nothing else.

2. If your goal is to make more money, then you have no goal. Never chase money directly, chase things of value that will bring you money along the way. Chasing money makes you a mere hawker. If you started working at 17, where are you going now?
What is you plans for the future?
Where and who do you want to be in 3 years, 5 years 10 years?
If your answer is sounding like "I want to be a very rich lady in Abuja in 3 years time" then you have no plan you are just working hard with out direction.

A good answer should sound like
I want go pass my medical residency in 5 years
I want to complete my MBA in 3 years
I want to open my first hair salon NY year end

Have long and short term goals which align with each other. Never chase money directly , else you will be wasting your time.

Money should not be your focus at 20s, rather getting the skills and experience that you need to build your dream . What are your dreams. You spoke so much about where you have toiled, but nothing about where you want to be.