you married a single mother with a boy of
two years and did every tradition to take the lady and the child .


after some years later you now give birth
to a male child , now who will be your first
son ?

remember if you impregnant a girl without
paying her bride price , the child belongs to
the family of the girl and the new husband
have an option to take the child

The one u gave birth to is ur first child except u adopted the other one, paying someone's dowry doesn't mean their children is urs, until u legally adopt the child, it isn't urs

I sorry for man wen go go near my son say na becos he marry he mama. Me da i have son and i am taking care of him sending money weekly. You will now come from no where to take my son away from me. I no get time to dey go court o. Na instant judgement you go receive from unknown forces... #nshitaru

Define Son.

Most traditions here approve it , any girl that got pregnant at of wedlock , the child belongs to girls family unless you marry the mother or you paid her bride price before , some were in imo state any girl you impregnanted , the bride price becomes double and that is if the family wants to give you the child

richmond500:
The one u gave birth to is ur first child except u adopted the other one, paying someone's dowry doesn't mean their children is urs, until u legally adopt the child, it isn't urs

SGANIVA:
Most traditions here approve it , any girl that got pregnant at of wedlock , the child belongs to girls family unless you marry the mother or you paid her bride price before , some were in imo state any girl you impregnanted , the bride price becomes double and that is if the family wants to give you the child

Even if u marry the mother, d child isn't urs.
That's just a tradition but if the real father take u to court, u will loose that child, except u legally adopt the child

One of my friend from uraukwu in anambra state , from a popular family that I will not mention there names here , the daughter got pregnant for a guy from another tribe , the family denied them access not only to the child but even the daughter insisting there daughter will not get marry from another tribe .

you impregnanted a girl doesn't mean the child is yours , do you know someone can marry your girl friend you live with and take your supposed child . igbo's will understand better .

I asked who will be the first son because when doing the traditional lite, you have an option to marry the mother only or to complete the traditional lite which gives you an opportunity to take the child along ,if you did everything the child is yours .

This is common in some igbo culture

You are wrong, sleeping with a girl you are not legally married to and getting her pregnant doesn't give you any right to the child , on what ground will you be claiming the child , as your wife ? traditions and customary laws still exist and what if the family of the girl decides to keep there child and marry off there daughter to another man .
In ezeagu in enugu state, and some communities in Igbo land, you can only marry there daughter as the will keep there child

richmond500:
Even if u marry the mother, d child isn't urs.
That's just a tradition but if the real father take u to court, u will loose that child, except u legally adopt the child

Please oo am still waiting for an answer to my questions

Who will be your first son
You married a single mother with a male child, after some years you now give birth to a male child .

remember when doing the traditional lite, you did everything and take both the child

You have to legally adopt her child according to the law then he becomes your child. And according to law your first child. Some men wait to have their own child or children before legally adopting the woman’s child. If they do that, in the eyes of the law, their children comes first before the legally adopted children.

We are too rigid otherwise, what does the position mean? 1st son or 10th son, what is the difference?

first son really means a lot, your first son is your representative when you are not around or gone at large , with many responsibilities, power and authority in the family

GboyegaD:
We are too rigid otherwise, what does the position mean? 1st son or 10th son, what is the difference?

SGANIVA:
first son really means a lot, your first son is your representative when you are not around or gone at large , with many responsibilities, power and authority in the family

Well, I don't believe in that and can't fault your belief. At the end of the day, everyone has their lives to live irrespective of position.

One question though, those without sons, what is their fate? I need to understand this in the light of your position.

SGANIVA:
first son really means a lot, your first son is your representative when you are not around or gone at large , with many responsibilities, power and authority in the family

That belief is gradually dissolving with the present dispersal of families, where family members migrate to different destinations and most times when the parents that band the siblings together have passed on and wealth/properties have been shared (if any) the siblings tend to focus on their own nuclear families building their own legacy for their own children, that one's elder brother is their father's first son increasingly becomes less consequential to them as they longer live in a physical communal setting where they need to continually defer to him on issues or the kinsmen summoning them to reprimand them for disregarding the "authority' of the first son.

It is even worse when they regard their late father as not being a good and responsible father to them, what does the first son want to "represent"?

I respect your believe also , people without sons knows how to go about it as I haven't been in such situations before . but if I have a wicked brothers or uncles ,I must surely do something when am alive

GboyegaD:


Well, I don't believe in that and can't fault your belief. At the end of the day, everyone has their lives to live irrespective of position.

One question though, those without sons, what is their fate? I need to understand this in the light of your position.

What if the man is very influencial , people like Tonimas oil and gas,ojukwu's , Young, mko abiola etc will the influence of the first sons ever be inconsequential ?

Pavore9:


That belief is gradually dissolving with the present dispersal of families, where family members migrate to different destinations and most times when the parents that band the siblings together have passed on and wealth/properties have been shared (if any) the siblings tend to focus on their own nuclear families building their own legacy for their own children, that one's elder brother is their father's first son increasingly becomes less consequential to them as they longer live in a physical communal setting where they need to continually defer to him on issues or the kinsmen summoning them to reprimand them for disregarding the "authority' of the first son.

It is even worse when they regard their late father as not being a good and responsible father to them, what does the first son want to "represent"?

SGANIVA:
What if the man is very influencial , people like Tonimas oil and gas,ojukwu's , Young, mko abiola etc will the influence of the first sons ever be inconsequential ?

My focus has been in general terms whether the man was influential or not. Most of those names you mentioned, how many of them has their first sons been exceptional after the demise of their father?

I know someone (Igbo) who did both his traditional and Church wedding without the involvement of his elder brother (first son) who had always threatened the younger brother that he would not as the first son (as their parents have passed on) inform their kinsmen and organize them to go see the younger brother's bride to be family. The other siblings and some kinsmen overruled the first son' irrational mind and also with the support of their ikwu nne (maternal side) the younger brother got married both traditionally and in Church without the presence of the first son.

People are becoming less obligated to birth order rather who the individual is, the positive impact the individual is generating etc.

Your son is your son...
Leave another man pikin for him. You've taken the wife already.




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