It’s very common to hear that when a man wants to get married, he should get married to a woman who will support his vision. This belief presupposes that ladies don’t really have a vision of their own lives, all they do is get married to a man who has a vision. In extreme, it doesn’t matter whether ladies have their own visions, as much as they have a man of vision, it’s alright. Ladies, by this belief have been treated as secondary, and men placed at the center of universe.

However, this is far from the truth. It’s men-centric: The belief that men is more important. Ladies have accepted this themselves. Many do live a mediocre life,looking, as parasites, hosts to leach on. I believe many ladies have great visions, but with this belief, their visions have been stiffened in the name of looking around for a man of vision.

There’s nothing bad in a man and a woman having different visions. What matters is both visions are directed and constrained by what i call supravision(God). If your vision and mine is towards flourishing creation, difference isn’t a curse but a blessing. You don’t tell your wife to let go of what she feels called to do just to satisfy your own ego. If God is laying it in her heart to abandon her profession to join you, fine, but coercing her is an act of dehumanising her. love is a vulnerable power. It does not coerce. It does not make its way by violent force. It’s a relationship not because of man, but because of both man and woman. Ladies have been dehumanise by imposing men’s ways of life on them. I believe our ladies and women have wonderful visions, too. They are humans.

The second common mistake is an extreme belief that ladies need attention. Nothing is wrong with this without the extremism. But it has been taken to am extreme as though men don’t need attention at all. We are all humans. Something runs right in our veins all. And that is thirst for relationship,thirst for love. When you love someone, you give yourself wholly to them. This extreme belief has placed ladies at the center of the universe. And When people make themselves the center of the universe, they actually undermine the possibility of personal well-being and happiness. Improper self-love gets in the way of shared life together. Let’s be in devotion to one another. Let’s balance things up.

Source: https://newspremises.com.ng/two-of-the-mistakes-made-in-courtship-and-marriage/