A fictional story that depicts the harsh, nature-imposed realities faced by too many women.

An original story by me.

.............


"Mum, my stomach hurts. It really hurts, like someone is punching my abdomen. I feel like throwing up. And why are there so many pimples on my face?" I asked, looking at the mirror.

"It's okay Dear. You are becoming a woman," my mum responded. I wondered how that was possible since I was just 10. She didn't say anything else nor give me any further information. "I was becoming a woman", that was all I needed to know.

I was 10, but smart. I knew what menstruation was, but nothing prepared me for what the next ten years would do to my life and body.


I woke up the next day to such intense abdominal pains that I thought I was going to die. I had never experienced cramps before, and as my mother's first female child, I had never seen anyone else suffer the same fate.


My heart skipped a couple of beats when I saw the large stain of blood on my light-blue bedsheets. I was bleeding... heavily.


"Nne, thank God for you o! Ah ah, but this is too soon na. You're just 10. Too young!" Mum said as she walked into my room. I was in tears and confused. I'd read that most girls would have their first periods between 12 and 16. Why was I bleeding at 10? I'd been having pimples too early, from the age of 7. Pubic hair at the same age.


Why didn't no one ever explain to me that I had "precocious puberty"? Puberty too early.


My periods were always so heavy, and they often lasted seven days. I would only consume useless Paracetamol tablets and go to school, and my friends would eventually have to carry me, hands and legs, to the school sick bay. They were mostly confused because I was the first in my group of primary five girls to see her period.


I would throw up, deal with blinding headaches, endure painful diarrhoea, and then the cramps. For me, the cramps were debilitating. In later years, I learned that some girls would encounter their periods with no pain. Some wouldn't even feel it. But for others, the pain could lead to hospital visits.

The female body acts up differently for every woman, and mine wanted to snuff the life out of me.


But why didn't anybody ever tell me about Ibuprofen or Felvin? Why did I spend years consuming just Panadol during my periods and eating pain like it was food? I suppose I was lucky, because many girls wouldn't even get access to Panadol.

A girl who lived as a house help from across my street endured cramps as bad as I did, but she would stand on her feet for 24 hours, working and cleaning, despite the pain.


.......................


"Tufiakwa! See how blood is coming out of this one like a slain animal. So disgusting..."

I turned and noticed that my light-yellow sportswear had been stained with a patch of blood. I was 15 then, in SS2, and boys from my class were giving me disgusted stares and making the most unspeakable jokes.

Why doesn't the ground ever open when you need it to?


It wasn't their faults, I now realize. Periods are so demonized that when a certain non-profit
organisation came to share pads and educate girls at my school, they asked all the boys to leave. When the biology teachers taught about menstruation, the boys would make jokes and laugh and no one would reprimand them. They were never cautioned or taught to respect women, so why should they suddenly grow up to be decent men?

That day was particularly bad, because the cramps were killing me and when I walked up to my sports teacher to complain, he told me to shut up and get in line for long jumps.

"Sir, I am on my period and my stomach hurts. I am suffering, please let me go to the class and lie down," I pleaded with tears in my eyes.


"That's none of my business. You are a woman. It's normal. You must endure. Women's bodies are built to endure," he replied without looking at my face.

I wanted to tell him that even women in their 30s would never get used to cramps. The pain comes in full force every single time, and all you can do is manage. Women's bodies do not have a higher pain threshold than those of males. We do not have special batteries for enduring pain. We are just stuck with it, and we must cope. After all, people die from labor pains, don't they?


But I swallowed my words, and got in line. I cried silently as they pain wove through me, but I had no choice.


The next year, I stayed off school for a whole month because I had surgery. My body had acted up again and I developed a large but benign breast tumour. It was painful, scary, and was starting to get too obvious. I thought I had cancer, and I also learned that a small percentage of young women would develop breast cancer in their teenage years.


Thankfully, it wasn't cancerous. I went for the surgery, and since my tumour was so big, they made a large undercut. The scar is still there - ugly, glaring, and imposing. The pain I endured during recovery is not one I would wish my worst enemy, but that was the first of many.


.......................


"I'm so sorry Dear, but the transabdominal scans show that you have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. PCOS happens when your ovaries are enlarged, inflamed, and you have small cysts growing on the outside. That's why your periods hurt so much and you have facial hair..."


I had just turned 20 and was finally diagnosed with the main reason for my life-altering menstrual pains. PCOS. It was also the same reason why I had bits of masculine facial hair and body acne. Pimples didn't just affect my face - they affected my neck, arms, and back.


I also learned there was no cure. I could either be placed on birth control pills to regulate the menstrual pain or I had to get pregnant. It is believed that menstrual cramps stop after a woman has her first child - but not all women. I had graduated to taking Morphine injections at the hospital during my periods.


My mum was scandalized when I told her about the doctor's options.


"Birth control kwa? What nonsense? They want to use their stupid medical advice to spoil this girl. Please start getting ready for marriage. It is better to be married early and have a baby than to be taking birth control while unmarried, so you will now spoil yourself..."

She didn't understand. I couldn't blame her. Her generation had a very different idea of modern realities. Her chastisement caused me to dispel with any ideas of getting the birth control behind her back.


So I continued suffering during my periods. I suffered, and suffered, and suffered, until real depression came knocking, so much that I almost became suicidal. My body's realities had always caused me to be depressed, but that time, that year, I found myself nearly slashing my own wrist one month. But my guts failed me.


Every month, I endured menstrual pain so raw that it almost drove me to taking my own life. Many of my friends suffered as well. Many would rely on NSAIDs during periods and we would all help each other out, but for me, the pain was irreconcilable.

I hated my issues. I deemed them wicked, and I wondered why it had to be me.


........................

Continuing...

[Continued]


Fast-forward to five years later. I got married at the age of 25 to a man I loved, luckily for me . He was gentle, kind, and really understood how my body worked.


Whenever I was on my period, he would call the tech agency where I worked and tell them his wife was sick. He would massage my belly and lower back with hot water pads. He would call the neighborhood pharmacist to our house three times a day to give me injections. He would prepare fruit salads and warm oats for me. When I gained my strength a little, he would take me on a walk to flex my muscles.


He was God-given, and truly, God knew I needed him.


A year after getting married, further tragedy struck me.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis and told I had to manage it before a pregnancy would take. Endometriosis is a condition whereby the tissue that grows within the uterus begins to grow outside of it as well.


Most women either have PCOS "or" endometriosis, two independent conditions characterized by abnormal and debilitating menstrual pains, irregular periods, heavy flows, and other wicked symptoms.


Sadly, some women would suffer both at the same time - twice the pain, twice the chaos, twice the suffering, and now, endometriosis had joined PCOS to affect my chances of getting pregnant. I was told that women with mild to moderate endometriosis could get pregnant without treatment, but those with severe conditions would require correctional treatment - which is highly unpredictable.


My husband was my rock. When people asked where our first child was, he would tell then to mind their businesses and leave a young couple to plan their lives as they chose. He told his mother of my condition and she supported me so heartily, and together with my own mum, my support system was solid.


I eventually got on hormone correction treatments and luckily, I got pregnant.


Well, scratch the "luckily". Exactly 11 weeks gone and I miscarried. HOW After waiting for nearly two years, my body came through with its wickedness again and I miscarried my child. When I found out my baby was gone, I wailed myself into unconsciousness. I remember waking up in a yellow-colored hospital room. The color flashed me back to that day, at the sports field, wearing my yellow sportswear, when my period had nearly seized me.


I had suffered too much, and I had married someone's son and dragged him into my suffering. But my husband was half my life, and I soldiered on because he was always there.


Exactly 2 years and three months later, my baby girl was born. My rainbow baby, the child that God said would save me from suffering, pain, and torture. The child that rendered my endometriosis inactive and took out everything called menstrual cramps. When my periods started again after her birth, the flow was still heavy, but there was no more pain...


I named her Divine, because, truly, she came from Heaven.


................


Why did I only learn about "episiotomy" when I was already pregnant? How did I not know about some women requiring cuts on their birth canals to allow passage of the babies?


I had an episiotomy that took forever to heal. My baby needed more room to come through when I was labour. They gave me an epidural, an injection that numbs the lower part of the body and cancels out labour pain. You can still feel yourself pushing but without the pain.

They gave me further anesthetic and then cut my v*Gina in a small sideways line. And then my baby came out - pink, wrinkly, and just perfect . They stitched the tear and gave me oral painkillers.


But when the anesthetic work off, the pain was mad. I couldn't sit, I couldn't walk, I could only lie down flatly. I was so scared of walking and tearing out my stitches. I was in pain... too much pain, yet again.


As I was healing, I had to battle the reality of breastfeeding. It was quite painful for me at the beginning as it was my first time, but my body was already so used to fighting pain. My n*pples were so sore, and my baby was feeding so much that I could barely keep up. My husband wanted to put her on baby formula so I could rest, but I refused. I was going to breastfeed her no matter what it took.



Eight years later, two kids in total (my second born through Caesarean section), at the age of 37, my periods became so ridiculously heavy -much more than before. My stomach had gotten more rounded after my kids, but this time, it got so big that I almost thought I was pregnant again. But I was not. I was also urinating so much more - at least 20 times a day. Not exaggerating. Why then?


Oh, I had fibroids. Yet another female issue.


One person, all these problems. It was as if my body was hell-bent on seeing me suffer. I had fibroids now, non-cancerous growths in my uterus. Most of the women in my family had suffered fibroids, and it's believed to be largely genetic.


I went for the surgery and the growths were taken out, but due to my age, I was told there was a possibility of it regrowing. The doctor recommended a hysterectomy, total removal of the uterus, if I was done having kids. I rejected the option. I was done having kids but I didn't like the thought of it.


I was lucky, and it never grew back - at least not seriously. I endured the ridiculous pain of post-surgical recovery, from the same kind of cuts that women who had Caesarean sections to birth their babies would go through. Deep cuts that would slice every layer of skin and hit the uterus. After the anesthetics wore off, it was pain so raw that it had no description.



11 years later, as I turned 48, menopausal symptoms came. This time, I was prepared for the drama my body would display. I was mentally, emotionally and physically ready to withstand it, and so, I pushed on.



My hair started thinning, my heart began palpitating, I had joint pain, I had hot flashes so severely that I could bathe at least five times a night, I had total reproductive dysfunction, I was peeing too much, I endured constipation, incredible fatigue, insomnia, severe headaches sometimes, I gained a lot more weight and eventually, my period stopped coming entirely.


My body endured this overhaul until it my symptoms began to reduce in intensity and after about 7 years, it normalized.


My body had endured almost five decades of indescribable pain and suffering, and for what, all because I am FEMALE. Nature made it so, and all we can do is live it out. Not all women go through all this, but many endure so much.
All the while still having kids, going to work, building homes, running families... Women truly deserve a break .


May 28 is #MenstruationHygieneDay2021. A day to speak out about period suffering, period stigma, and period poverty. Stop shaming women over their periods. Periods don't make us "unclean" or "impure". It should not be taboo to talk about your periods. Do not treat women who are bleeding like vermin. Be kind, be caring, be sane.


Love.

I read every line of it
Women are amazing

Your story made me teary. You're a strong woman.

DWJOBScom:
I read every line of it
Women are amazing

Exactly Brozay! Women are amazing.

Cc Lalasticlala
Mynd44
Dominic

duchessvikki0:
Your story made me teary. You're a strong woman.

Thanks angel, but it's fiction. Although some women go through worse in real life.

Yeah, I have seen one or two.

Hi Dear, @micielito, you have a pm

@alexaonfleek

Hey girlie. Replied your last PM

@brightfuture24 message replied

brightfuture24:
@alexaonfleek

Hey girlie. Replied your last PM

Brightfuture24 i needed enough permission before i could get to you,regarding your post on writing....Please i really need your help on that for my eldest sister.

Dshocker:


Brightfuture24 i needed enough permission before i could get to you,regarding your post on writing....Please i really need your help on that for my eldest sister.

Hi. I'll address writing soon okay?

brightfuture24:
Hi. I'll address writing soon okay?

I will really appreciate if you do so

Please i need help, my Scutum sack is too large and long and also my joystick which has been affecting my movement, i feel too shy to talk about this with a medical practitioner. is there any home remedy to apply to reduce my largeness?

brightfuture24:
Hi. I'll address writing soon okay?

I don't mind paying,so you can groom/coach her...Please don't get me wrong,i know its not about money,but to show you how serious and committed she can be.
She lost her job,when she relocated and had to go meet her husband from Lagos to Jos.

She is intelligent and adapts quickly.

Dshocker, Oweniwe, Conpat, Alexaonfleek, Geminita

Hey guys, in regards to our writing convos, please check my last diary update and let me know on the diary section chat so the others can see it and not come bothering us later.

Thank you.

[

brightfuture24:
Dshocker, Oweniwe, Conpat, Alexaonfleek, Geminita

Hey guys, in regards to our writing convos, please check my last diary update.

Thank you.

Seen...
WhatsApp is preferable

Brightfuture24 i think whatsapp will be preferably better...How can i send in the number so you can add it to the group?

Dshocker:
Brightfuture24 i think whatsapp will be preferably better...How can i send in the number so you can add it to the group?

I'll email you. Please send your comment in the diary chat section so we can count app votes.

brightfuture24:
I'll email you. Please send your comment in the diary chat section so we can count app votes.

I already chose whatsapp

Tomtween1, bro, I see you, no need to send emails okay?

brightfuture24:
Tomtween1, bro, I see you, no need to send emails okay?

okay... Thanks

Diary, help me say, "God abeg o". Lol, I haven't had the strength for serious relationship for the past two years, and even now, but nahhh! I gats rear head small this time. This particular guy be like an edible Adonis. I really do feel like eating him up sometimes. Cannibalistic tendencies, not a fuccking joke embarassed. See spec nau. Tall, as in, talllll! Dark-skinned like... mwah! Full beard, broad gym body, extremely intelligent, and he has bastard money wink. He has actually done a first degree and is my classmate about to conclude his second degree. An original businessman, odogwu in every sense of the word, yet taking academic work seriously. A Southeastern king on fleek wink. You need to see how our class guys respect him. They hang on every word he says, live by everything he does. We weren't very close at the start of our academic journey and let me be honest, I only started crushing on him in this 500L. Very early in my academic journey, I swore to myself that I would never date a classmate or a schoolmate or anything of the sort, because I hate gossip. He himself is very lowkey, very private, and has always kept school girls at bay.

But this attraction be like electromagnet, every fiber of oestrogen to every streak of testosterone, cell to cell, e strong die tongue

But one thing with me is that I don't like deceiving myself. This guy is so private that you can't read his energy, and I'm also very private toward my classmates that he claims he can't read my energy as well. We can't figure each other out and it's making us... hesitant. You know, unsure, uncertain. For starters, I know he has a lot of "shawties" strangling themselves like fools across all his DMs. Like, literally dying. He's not just very rich but he's also classy, super-clean, and oh mi God, he too fine. I dey use am do eye candy grin. I never knew I was a sucker for looks but mba nu nu... This one choke.
Anyway, I know he's a hot cake so I'm trying to protect myself. I'm very careful with my emotions cos I don't like to fall like a fool. I may be very attracted to him but an old women's trick I learned early is to not let a guy get that advantage over you. Nigerian guys, especially.

Based on our conversations and what I could infer, he places me on this very high pedestal in his head, so much that he thought it was a joke when I agreed to go out with him the first time. He sees me as some sort of gold standard and I think he feels the same insecurities I feel about having other options so he can't take this seriously.
Essentially, it's a mess grin. Go forward, we no know. Go backward, we no fit. Stand one place, leg don dey burn. And it's funny how we both have the same interest in Afrobeats. I love Nigerian and South African music so much and that's something we actually bonded over. I'm a Burna boy fan and na him carry Wizkid FC for head, so it's always an argument grin.

We did say we weren't going to be exclusive right now. We are just "vibing". Also, our academic journey is almost over. Graduating Jan/Feb, everybody go go their way undecided. I have such massive plans for my future and the last thing I need right now is to go and fall like a fool for anybody and start making my plans around him. Hell the fucck no. He's also talking about bigger expansions and diversifications after graduation, so I know he's also not interested in drama. I'm glad everything's lowkey cos I don't want my parrot classmates gossiping like the bastards they are grin. But if they do find out, pe, the guy is someone I'm PROUD to be associated with, and I know I'm not an embarrassment either. Na here I know say I be true sapiosexual. All the guys I've ever been attracted to have one thing in common - INTELLIGENCE, and they speak impressively well. I can't stand dumb, basic people.
Anyway sha, make we just dey vibe. Nobody "NOSE" tomorrow, and life's too short to be sitting around wondering. Do that shit today. If e work out, Chineke daalu. If e scatter, make e scatter. Person no go die.

Brightfuture24

Don't worry God go grant your heart desire towards love..For him to have asked you out means he also felt something for you.

@snillocer

Mail for?

Dshocker:
.

Brightfuture24

Don't worry God go grant your heart desire towards love..For him to have asked you out means he also felt something for you.

Abi?? No worry, I go soon come update you

brightfuture24:
@snillocer

Mail for?

Kindly borrow me a minute of your time. I need to have a brief discussion with you outside the forum please.

brightfuture24:


Abi?? No worry, I go soon come update you

Brightfuture24 if you permit me to say;Age they say is just a number,and anyone can or could get help from anybody,irrespective of their age difference...You specifically chose 25 "minded individuals" to guide them on writing professionally,all because they want to make a living from it.In other words;you are their mentor and they look up to you.I want to point out the fact that you have to be serious about it and also be consistent on it,because inconsistency kills the spirit.

God be your guide.

Dshocker:


Brightfuture24 if you permit me to say;Age they say is just a number,and anyone can or could get help from anybody,irrespective of their age difference...You specifically chose 25 "minded individuals" to guide them on writing professionally,all because they want to make a living from it.In other words;you are their mentor and they look up to you.I want to point out the fact that you have to be serious about it and also be consistent on it,because inconsistency kills the spirit.

God be your guide.

This is what a professional writer would call "a solid piece of advice with a very rude undertone".

Thank you Sir, even though I mentioned that we have until till the end of the week to send out mails and I wonder where the inconsistency talk is coming from. If you understood how painfully busy I am, you would encourage me to take it easy. I knew what I was getting into it and I'll see it to the end. Thanks again.

brightfuture24:
This is what a professional writer would call "a solid piece of advice with a very rude undertone".

Thank you Sir, even though I mentioned that we have until till the end of the week to send out mails and I wonder where the inconsistency talk is coming from. If you understood how painfully busy I am, you would encourage me to take it easy. I knew what I was getting into it and I'll see it to the end. Thanks again.

If i sounded rudely,am sorry for that.I was only trying to advise or make a suggestion,because you barely come online...And i understand you are busy,trying to round up with school.
I also want you to know that you are an inspiration to all of us and we believe in you.