Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please - Romance - Nairaland
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Ldr / Long Distance Relationships LDR / LDR Is Not For The Faint-hearted? (2) (3) (4)
| Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Jaychand: 11:51pm On May 01, 2011 |
Hi all, I honestly need some serious advice from you guys. I'll also try to make my story as short as I can. I am in relationship with this babe and i love her sooooooo much and i honestly want to marry her soonest (both families have known each other) buh recent developments has been scary or prolly i have been thinkin too much. She started her work with a oil n Gas firm in Naija almost the same month i left Nigeria for an official assignment , its been fun all the way, communication wasn't a problem, we chat, make trunk calls almost everyday. The Dilemma She 's got this boss who is also single and he is ready to marry and all that. Dude has been buggin her which she keeps telling me BUT i discovered that each time, everyday, we talk on phone or chat, she keeps telling me dis n dat about the guy, we can talk for 20 mins and she can take 15mins out of it to talk about this same guy. This dude calls her every-night when she's about to sleep even after leaving same office. We've fought over this over and over but she keeps saying she knows what she's doing and she knows the guy's girl friends and all that. i recently notice she's always on guard to anything i say, always trying to cover up something with the way she talks, i mean she's not free again. This dude was planning to get a new property early this year and of all peeps, he sent her to go pay for him which i know she wudn't do for just any guy. Only for her to tell me later that she s going to spend one saturday last month at this guy's place to help him pack his stuffs to the new property, Imagine that, i tried her number all through that day buh it was switched off only to give me some excuses later in the night. INTENTIONS I do trust her buh m having a serious doubt these daiz. Now I'm thinking of getting a very close girlfriend here just to spite her so she can think twice as she doesn't sense any harm in what she s up to. I'm also thinking of totally reducing the calls, I hope this is fair and any suggestion |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by 190: 11:56pm On May 01, 2011 |
shes gone! Forget bout her, move on bruv |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by BABE3: 12:01am On May 02, 2011 |
Jaychand: FILE!~~ Dont TOSH IT!!! ehn. You want to copy Nigerian movies abi? You'll just be complicating matters! My Advice for you is; catch her Red-handed first. Have a tangible case of infidelity at hand! Then the rest is up to you!  |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by ShyOne(f): 12:08am On May 02, 2011 |
@ OP You already know enough about the guy to set him up with a well endowed, attractive female relative of yours. Instead of wondering what is going on - occasion an "accidental meeting" between him and one of your attractive female relatives and or attractive female friends. Disinterest the guy in your girl and then see how/if she changes her availability/access to you. |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Ekpoma1: 12:20am On May 02, 2011 |
I'd advise you look for another gal and stop chasing a lost sheep. The guy don fcukkk am turn turn aready. Imagine she was with him all thru d nite and her phone was switched off. |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by 190: 1:34am On May 02, 2011 |
BABE!: ROTFLMFAO!! im stealing this~ |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by 190: 1:35am On May 02, 2011 |
Ekpoma1: I trust my boys I trust my boys |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Odunnu: 3:06am On May 02, 2011 |
Errm Poster, I dont get the part about saturday. Did she spend saturday night with the guy? Gurls can sabi fall hand sha, why should she switch off her phone nah?mcheeew |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Jaychand: 8:40am On May 02, 2011 |
BABE!: Thanks Babe, but i'm not in Nigeria so i cant catch her red handed Shy-One: I used that one on her to introduce her female friend to this guy, of which she did and her friend got laid by this same guy, yet she knows all these |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Jaychand: 8:47am On May 02, 2011 |
Ekpoma1: Yeah, i'm making up my mind buh she ddnt spend the night there, she went to the guy's house in the morning only for her phone to be available when she got back home in the night, Odunnu: She spent the whole day there , but that doesnt change anyfin sef. what can happen in the night is bound to happen during the day too. The painful thing is that she made a joke someday that if she hasn't been in any relationship she wudda accepted the guy and all that. |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Scooby1(m): 9:19am On May 02, 2011 |
Jaychand: This is heartbreaking! i dont envy you, my advise would be to talk to her seriously if she is not serious about the relationship to let you know so you can move on. |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by esteduca(m): 9:24am On May 02, 2011 |
I keep saying LDR don't work. My personal experience is that at least. In your case I believe she is trying to say something to you. Maybe she wants you to break so she can follow her road. |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by beknown(m): 10:06am On May 02, 2011 |
Jaychand, Your relationship with her will not be the same as you are not in Nigeria now. Your telephone calls are useful if you will be away for less than a week. As you know, many Boss in Nigeria tend to take their female employees for a 'ride'. I will not be surprise if your supposed girl is enjoying the game now because she is thinking about not losing the job. She may have got the Oil and Gas job through the influence of the Boss. The Boss may or may not be serious with her for long term relationship, do not dwell on that. Do not cry over spilt milk. Although she will come back after the game, you may not be interested then. Move on with your life and avoid distant relationship. Forget that your family and her own are beginning to get familiar. The fact remains that you are not married to her now. |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by 190: 10:11am On May 02, 2011 |
Gbam!!  |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Phate07(m): 10:29am On May 02, 2011 |
Jay, that guy is driving your car for you in your absense! Do you want to come back and meet a second-hand car?  I think you should find another girl and move on with your life. Simple. |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by CrudeOil1(m): 10:49am On May 02, 2011 |
Long distance relationships are problematic. You might lose your relationship sooner than you can imaging if you don't go back to Nigeria and sort it out. |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Goldieluks: 11:09am On May 02, 2011 |
Some very good advise up there I think you should pray to God,to give you the right partner for a wife. For the blessing of God added no sorrow,(Prov 10:22) |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by 190: 11:12am On May 02, 2011 |
Goldieluks:  |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Goldieluks: 2:27pm On May 02, 2011 |
190: stop this already.  |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by 190: 2:36pm On May 02, 2011 |
 what happened to my goldieeeee |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Goldieluks: 2:38pm On May 02, 2011 |
190: Nothing happened,am still me, but a little different me |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by obowunmi(m): 2:40pm On May 02, 2011 |
Money pass money, level pass level --- she's long gone my friend. |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by 190: 2:43pm On May 02, 2011 |
Goldieluks: *sighs*  |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Nobody: 2:45pm On May 02, 2011 |
@ jay dnt take any rash decision. She is prolly enjoying the attention as most gals would.why dnt u fastforward your plans to marry her instead of talking and talking I.e if u luv her and trust her.after all d hard wrk dnt just quit like that. |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by IZUKWU(m): 3:17pm On May 02, 2011 |
No .Womam, no cry. Body no be firewood ,ldr are problematic come home and pay her bride price and put magun on that waste and watch out. |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by 190: 3:17pm On May 02, 2011 |
IZUKWU: [size=18pt]CRAMPED STOMACH FROM LAFFTA!![/size] |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Jaychand: 7:00pm On May 02, 2011 |
beknown: Thanx, buh its not about money and keeping the Job, I got her the job(Well Payin), Hi all, i seem to have a joker buh it sounds awkward, I've always known her to be a Virgin and once i get home and she ain't one no more then shes gone with the mind |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Mcleo007(m): 7:14pm On May 02, 2011 |
@op, I feel ur pains bro. To be sincere with u, d gal has a thing for the dude. You knw some guys know how to play this game better than others. A good flirt/playa (even when the gurl is aware of his many chicks) will always attract some so-called decent ones. The guys knw how to wriggle their way through. I believe ur gurl falls in dt category. My advice, stop calling her. I believe she calls u less often than u do (that's how u knw she's drifting away from u). |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by TruMantra(m): 10:54pm On May 02, 2011 |
Here's what you need to do; The Strategy Change the dynamics of your relationship. You need to throw her a curve ball. She don see you finish and so she's out to have a little fun, enjoy attention from this fellow and she isn't even doing a good job of hiding it (fortunately for you). The Tactic Cut off communication completely without any warning. Dont call, dont text, no FB or BB messages. You sound like you talk to her everyday, so give it a couple weeks or more. Make sure it's for a period that will have her worrying, doing the calling, sending the messages. It'll be hard, heart wrenching perhaps, but you're a man . . . bite the bullet and it'll pay off. If you somehow take her call without knowing it, be polite but distant. When she asks why you're different, dont give a reason. Make an excuse and get off the phone quickly. It's all about who comes out tops in the mind game and if you can persuade yourself that she's already gone you'll be able to be brutally efficient at blanking her. The Result She'll have to make a decision. That's what you want. Dragging out the end is pointless and if she's gonna stay with you, she needs to know that you will not tolerate philandering. She'll either decide her boss is the one or she'll come to the point where she decides that he's not worth losing you over. There is one other scenario though - she could "wise up" and start keeping much more away from you. . . . eating her cake and having it. But it's a risk worth taking. |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by davoice1: 3:15pm On May 03, 2011 |
@ Tru Mantra, BRAVO |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by Dyt(f): 6:18pm On May 03, 2011 |
Dats d ish wit ldr i m in2 one s i cld atleast tell a bit of wat she s goin thru dere r tyms one ll jst nid b a man,nt sexually bt a companion sm1 u can always call n yh he s all dere she MYT nt v anyth wit him Op,y nt tell er abt it yh |
| Re: Loosing My Love To Ldr : Honest Suggestions Please by horny4u(f): 6:48pm On May 03, 2011 |
I think you are being paranoid and your imagination is running anti clockwise. You need to trust her until proven the joke she made about going with him if she were single was insensitive but proves to me that she is trying to get you jealous, worked up and crazy. Calm down and shower her with attention and she will soon stop feeding you with ibanuje stories. I honestly doubt she has a boss chasing her and what not , She is only trying to put you on your toes so you donot run off with some one in a totally wrong way and she needs to grow up. |
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