All Men Cheat But I Can’t Get Over The Psychological Trauma-Pls Advise

Good day, I am fuming and I need someone to help me calm down before I break my husband’s head. I mean it. I may be arrested for violence at this rate. And I don’t care. Maybe because I am too angry but can you blame me for being angry like this?

Early this year, I got a new sale girl in my shop. This girl is from Ekiti. She was a complete bush girl but very sharp. I taught her everything and before long, she started to manage my business very well. I could leave her to it and all will be fine.

Somehow, this girl started being too familiar with me and my husband. I thought its because we have taken her like our own daughter and we allow her enter our house, eat, handle business cash, make decisions freely. But the level of familiarity was annoying.

Some of the things I noticed was: she would be laughing with my husband or me without curtesy. I cant explain in detail but you know when an employee feels too relaxed in the presence of the boss? She can even be on the phone and we are calling her …she will not end the call but continue until she is done talking …

I called her and warned her about her change in attitude and she said she will change. Until last month,one day, I was talking to her and she practically walked out on me. What I was telling her was that she forget to make some important orders that would affect sales in the coming week, I was angry because those orders are fast moving and really bring good sales for us.

This girls was like,madam, I am very busy, I will do it later. I told her no…do the order right now…and next thing she said was,ma, please don’t disturb me, I already told you I will do it later na. My mouth went wide open at the effrontery. I called her and told her that if she does not apologize, she is fired.

This girl now said, that I dare not fire her otherwise, she will open my dirty secrets in public. Like what was she talking about? I dragged her by her shirt and told her she must reveal what she meant by opening my dirty secrets. I was so upset that I began to beat her up until she began to talk.

That was when she said, that ehen, is it not my husband that is chasing her, telling her to come and give him a head. That he likes it so much…that his wife used to give him a head but since he got infected, that I have not given him a head for months. Ah…mogbe. Like…what the heck?

That she told my husband that he needs to pay before she can do what he wants. That my husband promised to pay and she went ahead and gave him a head and he said she is not good. That she has no skills in giving orals. So,he will not pay her. That he has been telling him if he does not pay, that she will report him to me. That my husband then said she is a bush girl that does not know anything.

All these things she said, got me so upset that I beat the hell out of her ehen…I beat her and threw her out of my store. She began to beg for forgiveness and I told her she is a big fool. She can get lost for all I care.

On getting home and confronting my husband, my husband said he is sorry but it was the girl that came to him, flirting with him, promising to give him mind blowing s8x but he kept denying her. Then next thing, she started to beg him for s8x and he felt oral is not the same but that soon as she touched him, he realized it was wrong of him and he told he would never do that with her again.

Can you imagine how he thinks that oral is not really cheating? What if I go and give another man oral too? I knowhow much he enjoys oral so his stupid excuse is making me so mad. Now, am looking at this girl and me and wondering, what on earth would attract my husband to this dirty girl. I am not boasting but I am a very s8xy woman. I got what any man would want: looks, curves and s8x appeal.

I do all the bed room tricks and more. And this is what I get in return. I feel so disgusted at him. So, its true, if a man would cheat he would cheat even if he has the whole world given to him.

My only anger now is that he admitted he was happy I beat the girl and sent her away. That she was becoming unbearable for him. I feel like I should beat him the way I beat that girl but he is begging me, promising me heaven and earth… I have been so angry that I cannot let him touch me again. When we try to make love, I keep picturing that dirty girl sucking my husband’s balls and it puts me off. If he had even chosen a better looking slut….

Its been almost a month and I don’t know how to move past this issue. I am also afraid that if I hold out too long, then I maybe giving hubby reason to go and be foolish again. I need help…psychological help and advice on how to deal with this trauma of always feeling angry, wanting to beat my husband and the turn off I get when my husband tries to make love to me.

Please advise me…

SOURCE : https://livelystones.ng/2021/06/15/all-men-cheat-but-i-cant-get-over-the-psychological-trauma-pls-advise/

All men do not cheat! Men (and women) who cheat are pigs that have no respect nor regard for themselves so can not have any respect or regard for their partners!

Partners who respect and have regard for themselves should keep such people at arms length and always ensure a prophylactic is between them so one does not get infected with what their partner picks up roaming about.

I'll let others come tell her what to do about the sales girl if she doesn't already know she ought to be fired immediately. As for getting over your The Psychological Trauma? I'd consider dumping the lying cheating pig because you never know where else he's been poking and what he might bring home to infect you with!

Two of u shld go on a retreat or vacation together like Paris , Brazil or calabar. Do all it takes to bring back the fire of your love and that of GOD
Congratulations

So you and ur employee is riding ur husband gbola

Madam be calming down.. just give him another chance if you keep denying him sex He might go out and cheat again

Time heals all wound

After all it's for better for worse

If all men cheat, who do they cheat with? Oga change that stupid topic. And go tell the woman to better decide fast and take action. Never let this thing fester. She even seem like a lucky woman to me since her husband is admitting his mess-up and willing to apologize. Agidi pipo like us will deny the accusation with fire and thunder and still demand an apology from the two ladies.

Nice fiction

Most men will cheat, more likely to as you go higher up the social ladder and levels of influence. Fight it or Accept it, make your peace and move on.

ONLY A WOMAN THAT MARRIED AS A VIRGIN SHOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT THE HUSBAND CHEATING. IF YOU KNOW YOU DID NOT MARRY A VIRGIN HOLD YOUR PEACE. THE BRIDE PRICE MEN PAY FOR A WOMAN IS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR HER VIRGINITY, MEN DON'T KNOW THEIR RIGHT THAT IS WHY WOMEN ARE SCREAMING CHEATING CHEATING. IF MEN DECIDES TO MARY ONLY VIRGINS THEN THE END TO CHEATING.
THE TRUTH MUST BE TOLD
IF ALL LADIES DECIDES TO BE VIRGINS THEN NO MAN WILL CHEAT EXCEPT WITH A MARRIED WOMAN.

I don talk am teehhh...you cannot tame a leopard into losing its spots. A man that sleeps around before you wedded him will continue sleeping around after wedding him. It's that simple. Your sexy body can never guarantee faithfulness just as wealth and sexual prowess does not guarantee a wife's faithfulness...faithfulness is an attribute of a purified soul and not the result of social engineering! Your husband needs deliverance in the name of Jesus, meditation on the word of GOD and the indwelling of GOD's Spirit outside this forget it he will cheat till "thy kingdom come"!

Not all men cheat. It is possible that your husband just made a mistake. Everyone can make mistakes, and the most important thing is that he sincerely repents. I understand from your message that you have a very explosive character. But try to have a quiet talk with your husband and solve the problem. Perhaps the spark in relationship will return

Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them

Casham:
If all men cheat, who do they cheat with? Oga change that stupid topic. And go tell the woman to better decide fast and take action. Never let this thing fester. She even seem like a lucky woman to me since her husband is admitting his mess-up and willing to apologize. Agidi pipo like us will deny the accusation with fire and thunder and still demand an apology from the two ladies.

You never jam FBI babe.
I don't confront based on suspicion, I will catch you red handed and bring witnesses.

I've grown past that though, ordinary men no dey move me again.

Richy4:
I feel really bad sometimes when women who were hurt immensely cannot vent enough anger as they wanted because they were afraid the man will totally abandon them....
If she took some time off from her matrimonial duties in the bedroom because she was angry, the man will continue from where he stopped according to the writer....I feel really blessed being a man....No wonder some women were really fighting this gender stuff... e no balance at all...

They have been brainwashed to believe that all men cheat and have therefore accepted to set very low standards for themselves and their relationships/marriages.

efficiencie:
I don talk am teehhh...you cannot tame a leopard into losing its spots. A man that sleeps around before you wedded him will continue sleeping around after wedding him. It's that simple. Your sexy body can never guarantee faithfulness just as wealth and sexual prowess does not guarantee a wife's faithfulness...faithfulness is an attribute of a purified soul and not the result of social engineering! Your husband needs deliverance in the name of Jesus, meditation on the word of GOD and the indwelling of GOD's Spirit outside this forget it he will cheat till "thy kingdom come"!

Any Man that sleeps around while single can never be satisfied by one woman

Never

It's already in born

To avoid sexual misconduct
It must be a carefully disciplined life
God helping the man

Na only God's help

Richy4:
I feel really bad sometimes when women who were hurt immensely cannot vent enough anger as they wanted because they were afraid the man will totally abandon them....
If she took some time off from her matrimonial duties in the bedroom because she was angry, the man will continue from where he stopped according to the writer....I feel really blessed being a man....No wonder some women were really fighting this gender stuff... e no balance at all...

From another angle

Most of we African men are first/seconf generation monogamist

The battle is something within the blood line for most African males

Our grandparents, even some parents were polygamist

So it's a lifelong battle for a man to tame his sexuality
What is even helping small is Christian doctrine

That's what is restraining many men

It not it will be something else

djon78:




Any Man that sleeps around while single can never be satisfied by one woman

Never

It's already in born

To avoid sexual misconduct
It must be a carefully disciplined life
God helping the man

Na only God's help

How some of you people come up with such claims as if they were scientific facts baffles me. I could equally claim that a man who has not explored his sexuality while single will never be satisfied in his marriage. Both statements are baseless opinions, not more, not less.

Hathor5:


They have been brainwashed to believe that all men cheat and have therefore accepted to set very low standards for themselves and their relationships/marriages.

The battle to brainwash more women is still happening and consistently too. You see low IQ dudes going around public forums vomiting word for word false information they saw some frustrated misogynist dishing out and now that’s all they know.

I’m wondering if they keep repeating it in order to convince ladies to believe them or maybe they are actually trying to convince themselves.

cococandy:


The battle to brainwash more women is still happening and consistently too. You see low IQ dudes going around public forums vomiting word for word false information they saw some frustrated misogynist dishing out and now that’s all they know.

I’m wondering if they keep repeating it in order to convince ladies to believe them or maybe they are actually trying to convince themselves.

Maybe it's a combination of both.

But they will shamelessly demand loyalty from their spouse. Any woman who enables such attitudes and behavior has herself to blame.

Hathor5:


How some of you people come up with such claims as if they were scientific facts baffles me. I could equally claim that a man who has not explored his sexuality while single will never be satisfied in his marriage. Both statements are baseless opinions, not more, not less.

The only thing that man may do is hide it from his wife
Which many do
Some of them that are chronic
And can hide it very well
Even if you tell there wife to swear
They will vouch for them


You are a woman
You can not understand the experience from a man's angle


The only thing that even makes men behave sexually is religious ingrained teachings
That's the only thing

djon78:



The only thing that man may do is hide it from his wife
Which many do
Some of them that are chronic
And can hide it very well
Even if you tell there wife to swear
They will vouch for them


You are a woman
You can not understand the experience from a man's angle


The only thing that even makes men behave sexually is religious ingrained teachings
That's the only thing

You are not the spokesperson for all men so speak for yourself.

RealNakupenda:


I have been so angry that I cannot let him touch me again. When we try to make love, I keep picturing that dirty girl sucking my husband’s balls and it puts me off. If he had even chosen a better looking slut….


Its been almost a month and I don’t know how to move past this issue. I am also afraid that if I hold out too long, then I maybe giving hubby reason to go and be foolish again. I need help…psychological help and advice on how to deal with this trauma of always feeling angry, wanting to beat my husband and the turn off I get when my husband tries to make love to me.

Please advise me…

SOURCE : https://livelystones.ng/2021/06/15/all-men-cheat-but-i-cant-get-over-the-psychological-trauma-pls-advise/

Does this mean that she would felt better if he cheated with an MGBN winner or Most beautiful girl in an ekiti state beauty contest?

Sex to most men is simply just sex, without any classiness involved. it's hard for women to grasp this.

Sometimes i wonder why God created men and women to cohabit, when we actually think and behave very differently. It's a constant battle every one has to fight, it pisses me off so much.

The best way to solve a cheating problem is before marriage, not after. You just have to hope and pray they don't do it again.

truthsayer009:


Does this mean that she would felt better if he cheated with an MGBN winner or Most beautiful girl in an ekiti state beauty contest?

Sex to most men is simply just sex, without any classiness involved. it's hard for women to grasp this.

Sometimes i wonder why God created men and women to cohabit, when we actually think and behave very differently. It's a constant battle every one has to fight, it pisses me off so much.

The best way to solve a cheating problem is before marriage, not after. You just have to hope and pray they don't do it again.

Another one selling his truth as universal.

But this thread is not just about what sex means to some or as you authoritatively claim 'most men' but about adultery aka shitting on your spouse (=family) whom you promised to love and honor and remain faithful to. So it's not about biological differences but a matter of principles and (family) values.

capnies:
ONLY A WOMAN THAT MARRIED AS A VIRGIN SHOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT THE HUSBAND CHEATING. IF YOU KNOW YOU DID NOT MARRY A VIRGIN HOLD YOUR PEACE. THE BRIDE PRICE MEN PAY FOR A WOMAN IS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR HER VIRGINITY, MEN DON'T KNOW THEIR RIGHT THAT IS WHY WOMEN ARE SCREAMING CHEATING CHEATING. IF MEN DECIDES TO MARY ONLY VIRGINS THEN THE END TO CHEATING.
THE TRUTH MUST BE TOLD
IF ALL LADIES DECIDES TO BE VIRGINS THEN NO MAN WILL CHEAT EXCEPT WITH A MARRIED WOMAN.

Gbammmm...100% true! If more families and churches insist on men marrying virgins soon the ladies will sit up and zip up. This will end cheating effectively...

Hathor5:


Another one selling his truth as universal.

This here is not just about what sex means to some or as you authoritatively claim 'most men' but about adultery aka shitting on your spouse (=family) whom you promised to love and honor and remain faithful to. So it's not about biological differences but a matter of principles and (family) values.

Your believe or disbelieve won't change realities of life, I didn't say men should go ahead and start cheating on their spouse. I said it's just Sex to them. So stop attacking me for speaking my own opinion. I don't know why you want to silence my voice by all means.

There is biological differences between men and women in regards to sex, your anger doesn't change it.

I get that people have the responsibility to be faithful to their spouse, It is something they have to be conscious about, If they are passive about it, they will surely cheat. If your male spouse is cheating, it is your duty to hold him accountable but doesn't change the fact that men do not necessarily tie sex to love.

I am neither preaching to you or trying to change your mind, so whether you believe it or not, it is irrelevant.

truthsayer009:


Your believe or disbelieve won't change realities of life, I didn't say men should go ahead and start cheating on their spouse. I said it's just Sex to them. So stop attacking me for speaking my own opinion. I don't know why you want to silence my voice by all means.

When you decide to state your - as you have correctly termed it - opinion online, people will react and respond to it. You can speak out as much as you want and I will react as it suits me. It has nothing to do with me trying to silence you.

There is biological differences between men and women in regards to sex, your anger doesn't change it.

I get that people have the responsibility to be faithful to their spouse, It is something they have to be conscious about, If they are passive about it, they will surely cheat. If your male spouse is cheating, it is your duty to hold him accountable but doesn't change the fact that men do not necessarily tie sex to love.

I neither preaching to you or trying to change your mind, so whether you believe it or not, it is irrelevant.

Here we are again. It's totally irrelevant whether there are biological differences or not. The wedding vows do not take any biological differences into account. Both spouses vowed to stay faithful.

Or have you ever heard a husband say that he will stay a little less faithful on his wedding day because he doesn't tie sex to love.

Honey, I will stay faithful on most days but on some days, you know, biological differences. The other woman does not mean anything to me so let me fvck around a little bit. Be so kind.


Maybe it's ok for your wife to cheat if she is one of those women who can draw a line between sex and emotion?

Is it less of a crime if after the act she tells you something like: 'Baby, don't take it so hard. I didn't feel anything for this man other than an orgasm.'


Do you people listen to yourselves?

Hathor5:


When you decide to state your - as you have correctly termed it - opinion online, people will react and respond to it. You can speak out as much as you want and I will react as it suits me. It has nothing to do with me trying to silence you.




Here we are again. It's totally irrelevant whether there are biological differences or not. The wedding vows do not take any biological differences into account. Both spouses vowed to stay faithful.

Or have you ever heard a husband say that he will stay a little less faithful on his wedding day because he doesn't tie sex to love.

Honey, I will stay faithful on most days but on some days, you know, biological differences. The other woman does not mean anything to me so let me fvck around a little bit. Be so kind.


Maybe it's ok for your wife to cheat if she is one of those women who can draw a line between sex and emotion?

Is it less of a crime if after the act she tells you something like: 'Baby, don't take it so hard. I didn't feel anything for this man other than an orgasm.'


Do you people listen to yourselves?

I don't know why you are pointing fingers at me. I am not your spouse, neither am I the one cheating on you. You are simply projecting what is going on around you as If I am responsible for that. If you are upset that someone is cheating on you and justifying it, take it out on them.

I said my opinion, Men and Women think differently as regards sex. Women mostly tie love to sex while men don't necessarily do, that is it.

If a man is cheating in marriage, it is most definitely problem of indiscipline and it must have started before marriage. She would have noticed all the while and kept mute.

I don't need validation from you regarding my opinion, so you can stop trying to fight me on this.

truthsayer009:


I don't know why you are pointing fingers at me. I am not your spouse, neither am I the one cheating on you. You are simply projecting what is going on around you as If I am responsible for that. If you are upset that someone is cheating on you and justifying it, take it out on them.

I said my opinion, Men and Women think differently as regards sex. Women mostly tie love to sex while men don't necessarily do, that is it.

If a man is cheating in marriage, it is most definitely problem of indiscipline and it must have started before marriage. She would have noticed all the while and kept mute.

I don't need validation from you regarding my opinion, so you can stop trying to fight me on this.

You must be very touchy for you to bring my spouse into the discussion.

Hathor5:


You must be very touchy for you to bring my spouse into the discussion.

Yes, because you are simply projecting. My opinion doesn't need your validation.