Why Girls Like Bad Boys
Girls are attracted to the unpredictability and dominance of bad boys.
You can employ the positive traits of bad boys to get girls without being mean.
"I loved the idea of being successful with women, but I hated the idea of mistreating people, David DeAngelo "

question
Hey,

A really quick question: I met this girl and I wussed the whole thing up. In just two short months, she's back with her old "bad boy" boyfriend, who she said paid her no attention. I smothered her with attention and was nice. So why can't I get her back?
responds
you're telling the story of my life. More specifically, the story of the "old" me, before I learned everything that I know, and now teach to other guys.

You see, for most of my life, I was the nicest of the nice guys. But after continuing along the same path -- and getting the same lousy results with women -- I realized something that literally changed everything for me. I realized that it's really the "bad boys" who do, in fact, attract the hot women.

Why?

It's basically because selfish, "jerk" behavior, as unhealthy as this might sound, often triggers the precise emotions in a woman necessary to make her feel irresistible attraction. Sarcasm, unpredictability, ball busting, playing hard to get, and all kinds of other "illogical" things, they succeed every time where "being nice" fails.

So, back to the "old" me.

I had a dilemma: I loved the idea of being successful with women, but I hated the idea of mistreating people, being mean to them, lying and misleading, and so on.

I mean, deep down, I want to be a good guy. So I decided that there must be a way to make this work -- to attract women like a "bad boy" without being an abusive, lying jerk. And, after spending years learning from the naturals -- men whose success with women seems absolutely effortless -- the good news hit me.

There is a way to make this work, but it would require that I set aside my current ideas just long enough to entertain some new ones. When I learned to do this (as you must), I discovered I really could have the best of both worlds: I could be nice to women on my own terms, and also give them what they really want and what really attracts them.

You with me?

My realization was that women don't choose who they feel attracted to. It's something that just happens -- an emotional response to certain things men say and do.

In other words, women don't choose to feel the emotion called "attraction" for jerks any more than you choose to feel the emotion called attraction for beautiful women. Sure, some women do feel attraction for extremely handsome men, but it's been proven that they feel a much stronger attraction to specific personality traits and behaviors than they do for physical looks.

So what is it about the "bad boy" that creates this powerful, uncontrollable attraction in women?

Let me answer first by telling you what it’s not.

It's not that women are attracted to the abusive, mean, negative part of the "bad boy” personality. I think that these jerks just happen to also possess several associated, attractive qualities that are so powerful they literally make women blind to the abuse. Women rationalize away and excuse the abusive behavior because they want these other qualities so badly: unpredictability, uncontrollability, challenging dominance.

When presented correctly, they trigger the natural attraction mechanism inside of women. And "bad boys" have taken these natural qualities that are so attractive to women and made an art out of them.

But what does this mean to you, JT?

David D. explains how nice guys can pull off that bad boy charm next.


I often recommend coming at this like a substance abuse problem."

Well, the most important thing is that it means you can still be a good guy and attract women at the same time. First, you'll have to learn how to flirt in a different way and become a little more comfortable being challenging to women. But in the end, you'll find that this will get you what you want and still allow you to treat women on your own terms.

Oh, and it also means that, instead of being the guy who women talk to about their relationship problems with their bad boy boyfriend, you can become the guy they're dating and sleeping with.

Awesome.
question
Hi,

I downloaded your e-book a little over a month ago, have read it a few times, and I must say it has definitely made me want to change my approach to meeting women.

I'm naturally funny and sarcastic except when it comes to beautiful women. Then I am a pretty shy, wussy guy. I really need to change that. Any advice to avoid having my suppressed wussiness peek through? Thanks, you are the man!


responds
Excellent timing, Chris. This really relates to the bad boy question above, so this is a great time to answer it.

Listen, so many guys tell themselves that, if women aren't attracted to Wussies, then why do they accept invitations to dinner, gifts, flowers, and attention from wussy guys, only to reject them later on?

Well, let's think about this:

1- Free food is free food, and free gifts are free gifts. I mean, when the price is right, it's right, right?

2- Women say to themselves: "I really should date a nice guy instead of all these sexy jerks that I've been seeing. I'll let Mr. Wussy Man take me out to dinner a few times and maybe I can learn to like him."

3- If a woman doesn't have anything going on at all, dinner with a Wussy (and a constant stream of compliments and attention) is better than nothing.

4- Men are notorious for showing their non-Wuss side early on, but then somehow turning into a raging Wuss Boy as the relationship progresses.

So, Chris, what can you do to keep your inner Wuss from peeking through?

I often recommend coming at this like a substance abuse problem. The first step is admitting that you've been acting like a Wuss, accepting yourself as you are and making a commitment to yourself to improve from here on out.

You need to learn how to evict your inner Wuss and get down to the business of learning how to create attraction in a woman. It's not magic, and it's not voodoo. It doesn’t require looks or money. And I've proven time and again that almost any man can learn how to do it.

So run, don't walk, to educate yourself about the basics of creating attraction (either with my teaching or elsewhere) and you'll never have to worry about your inner Wuss peeking through again. Period.

I found bad boys repulsively disgusting and they need to build more concentration camps for them.

Bad boys rock while nice guys are considered as weak. They are losers. Nice guys finish last.

Bad boys end up in jail and shot first do not believe the hype good guys finish last.

You can't learn to be a bad boy, you can only learn to stop taking female shyt!

It's very disgraceful when men turn themselves into doormat in the hopes that they'd get laid!

read my sexual diaries nd see wht being nice cost me. now i dont take poo from no woman

As much as we won't want to believe it, but nice guy finish last . I had to learn that the hard way, but since I turned into some sort of a monster, the ladies won't let me be . Maybe it's because ladies see hard guys as father figures to correct them or the ladies need for protection . How this works out for them beat sh*t out of me

Women love the BAD boys,its just a fact of life.
Bad boys get all the p-ssy.
Better check the statistics.
Above all,while good guys pay for it,bad boys hit it for freeee!

I met a girl sometime ago, asked her out she agreed,and by the end of the second day we were deeply in love, and inseperable. I gave her my heart, told her truth abt me, and all other good things, but I couldn't believe it when on the third day she said she doesn't want me again.

I was sick all tru dt day, couldn't believe it even tho I know that i have always been a bad guy and have never been treated that way. I went back to her again on the fifth day, and told her that all I have been tellin her abt me was all lies and i never loved her, that she was just one of my targets, and i was just tryin to use her.

She was so suprised and followed me to my house askin me foolishly y i wanted to use her. Guys !!! i ended up sleeping with her 45mins later and even 3 times that day.Imagine all the stupid "shakara". I wanted to make her so specia, but she never wanted anythin good, and uptil date she is still looking for me, even tho she knows i have another girl. What a waste

tiniyata:

I met a girl sometime ago, asked her out she agreed,and by the end of the second day we were deeply in love, and inseperable. I gave her my heart, told her truth abt me, and all other good things, but I couldn't believe it when on the third day she said she doesn't want me again.

I was sick all tru dt day, couldn't believe it even tho I know that i have always been a bad guy and have never been treated that way. I went back to her again on the fifth day, and told her that all I have been tellin her abt me was all lies and i never loved her, that she was just one of my targets, and i was just tryin to use her.

She was so suprised and followed me to my house askin me foolishly y i wanted to use her. Guys !!! i ended up sleeping with her 45mins later and even 3 times that day.Imagine all the silly "shakara". I wanted to make her so specia, but she never wanted anythin good, and uptil date she is still looking for me, even tho she knows i have another girl. What a waste

That's women for you.

girls don't intentionally loves bad guys, they just love liars who deceive them by telling lies, sugar-coated mouths etc & this is what they can get from the badt guys.

Truth and been good doesn't earn u the right chick, but been real bad. Trust me cos i am a living witness

I love it when most women get with these "bad boys" and find out that alot of them are actually BAD boys. They beat them, abuse them and for some reason it seems to turn them on. And then they try to mould them into whatever idea of man they want (i.e. a man they want to control), they act shocked that they won't change.
It cracks me up because these women literally get what they ask for here.

I'm still wondering why women love the bad boys

Insert Quote
I met a girl sometime ago, asked her out she agreed,and by the end of the second day we were deeply in love, and inseperable. I gave her my heart, told her truth abt me, and all other good things, but I couldn't believe it when on the third day she said she doesn't want me again.

I was sick all tru dt day, couldn't believe it even tho I know that i have always been a bad guy and have never been treated that way. I went back to her again on the fifth day, and told her that all I have been tellin her abt me was all lies and i never loved her, that she was just one of my targets, and i was just tryin to use her.

She was so suprised and followed me to my house askin me foolishly y i wanted to use her. Guys !!! i ended up sleeping with her 45mins later and even 3 times that day.Imagine all the silly "shakara". I wanted to make her so specia, but she never wanted anythin good, and uptil date she is still looking for me, even tho she knows i have another girl. What a waste Cool

what a waste really.

pls any girl that is treated roughly by insensitive guy should not worry but add me on 2go for real love. Erm, Add larry266. Boys also invited but be the one to pay huh

@OP

this reminds me of when i was still very young.
when i just finished my school cert. i fell in love with this girl.
although i knew she liked me, i couldn't fathom why she didn't wanna go out with me.
instead she opted for a more experienced or in your terms BAD BOY type.

i was devastated,
now looking back at all that happened, i can see vividly where i went wrong.
i was not exactly every teenagers dream, then, and after trying to find love all to no avail, i decided to go the way of my friends.
but after a series of no strings attached relationship, i knew this was not what i wanted.

so the question now became how do i get my ideal girl without loosing myself in doing so.
then i met a friend though late now, who revolutionized my way of thinking.

women don't want a yes sir man, they want a man who can prove that he knows what he is doing.
they want a man who can be himself around them, they want a man who has a strong opinion of himself.
but most time possessing these traits makes you look like a BAD boy to the mr nice guys out there.

so my first step was to work on my self esteem, i created a strong opinion about myself and my values, i generally re branded my personality.
i learnt how to say my mind without being afraid if the babe was gonna approve of it or not.

thats when everything changed.
therefore i believe, that women are not looking for the bad boys, they are just looking for a man who can show that he has the ability to take the initiative, they want a man with a strong opinion, no matter how foolish that opinion is.

and after i learnt all this, same girl who said that she would not date me because i lacked the power to express myself 10yrs ago now tells me she loves me because i hit the nail on the head. but of course that ship has sailed, long ago.

women know when they do something wrong, and your inability to correct them, makes you the MR NICE GUY.
truth is every woman loves a nice guy who would treat them right, but with a strong opinion.

Good guys balances me. The Bad Girl club doesn't have shit on me. If I was a cast on that show they would have one good episode and the rest is a blur.

Good guys are important and bad boys are reckless.

Kingsleyinfo:

@OP

this reminds me of when i was still very young.
when i just finished my school cert. i fell in love with this girl.
although i knew she liked me, i couldn't fathom why she didn't wanna go out with me.
instead she opted for a more experienced or in your terms BAD BOY type.

i was devastated,
now looking back at all that happened, i can see vividly where i went wrong.
i was not exactly every teenagers dream, then, and after trying to find love all to no avail, i decided to go the way of my friends.
but after a series of no strings attached relationship, i knew this was not what i wanted.

so the question now became how do i get my ideal girl without loosing myself in doing so.
then i met a friend though late now, who revolutionized my way of thinking.

women don't want a yes sir man, they want a man who can prove that he knows what he is doing.
they want a man who can be himself around them, they want a man who has a strong opinion of himself.
but most time possessing these traits makes you look like a BAD boy to the mr nice guys out there.

so my first step was to work on my self esteem, i created a strong opinion about myself and my values, i generally re branded my personality.
i learnt how to say my mind without being afraid if the babe was gonna approve of it or not.

thats when everything changed.
therefore i believe, that women are not looking for the bad boys, they are just looking for a man who can show that he has the ability to take the initiative, they want a man with a strong opinion, no matter how foolish that opinion is.

and after i learnt all this, same girl who said that she would not date me because i lacked the power to express myself 10yrs ago now tells me she loves me because i hit the nail on the head. but of course that ship has sailed, long ago.

women know when they do something wrong, and your inability to correct them, makes you the MR NICE GUY.
truth is every woman loves a nice guy who would treat them right, but with a strong opinion.

yeah; no matter the consequence, nice guys have to be assertive and act like men. Who would want to date one who acts like the opposite sex?

?

Mrs Chima, thumb up!

But the truth is that ladies like Mrs Chima who prefer the good guy are hard to come by.

I only recently met another nice lady here on nairaland.

On a more serious note, bad guy rule. Its the reality facing our world.

Over 70% of naija chicks would prefer bad looking swaggerlicious guy over the mr. Nice guy.

I am personally talking from experience but I don't intend to change who I am just because the world does not accept me.

Most of these girls who prefer this kind of guys do not know what they want. They would prefer a guy who doesn't call them more than once a month to the one that calls over 100 times a day,says I love you a million times, spend money them etc.

Know this, I am even happy at the increasing rate of the bad guy domain. Why? Because, if a lady does not want me because I chose to be nice to her, I simply let her be with her bad guy and move on. Hopefully, when the bad guy starts dealing with her, she gets to miss me in the long run. But then, I would be gone.

This was the case between me and my ex and today, she regrets ever treating me that way. Some bado don use and dumb her tire only then did she realized that she had allow gem slip through. She's has apologize severally but its too late to cry when the head is off. Beside, I don't have plans for someone that has been used countlessly.

I was being nice with another, giving calls and even bought some gift for her. Omo, I started seeing those trait of typical naija girl and i being an old soldier, withdrew and put a stop to all that. For about four months, I neither called her nor text. Only for her to call me that she's missing me. Really? I even met with her some days back at my friend's(her cousin) place and after a while she she asked me to see her off to her house and that she's hungry and I pretended not to hear anything like that. I followed her but never gave a dime. A few minutes after I left her at the gate of her house, I took a bike off to nice a "mama put" and had very good delicious meal with fried turkey and malt.

I knew she was hungry, very hungry but I've learnt not to be cheap and also place them where they belong. Even if she had to die of hunger I don't care. I remember even a few months back when she called me from lagos that I should help with transport fare to come back to Benin. I had the money but refused to give it. I simply told her I don't have. There's nothing I hate as when someone take you for a ride.

But I don't wanna be a bad guy. Its even harder to tell lies like a bad and I don't like the idea of playing on people's intelligence or emotion 'cos my consciences would almost kill me if I do.

I now prefer spending my money on myself..

I just love me.

Floxyluv: I dont prefer good or bad guy/girl, i prefer someone being who they are, and not trying to be someone else, because they feel, i'd be impress by doing so.

floxy, I don pursue u tire u no wan gree me chance. Y na. I beg give me ur email or number 2contact u na.

2sexy:

floxy, I don pursue u tire u no wan gree me chance. Y na. I beg give me ur email or number 2contact u na.

I sent you a PM, check your inbox.