tensazangetsu20:

Probably for the west. Nigeria has always been in hard times yet we no develop.

Are you saying that if men should take a backseat and women take charge that things will be different?

Because from the handful of examples (however small) I've seen, it's still same result.

Uncontrolled birthrate

Ethnocentrism/tribalism

Nepotism

Religion

Will you honestly look at these reasons and tell me that men are the only gender responsible for the above highlighted?

Your darling daddy Buhari made us the poverty capital of the world: [b]remember both men/women campaigned for him, both men/women voted him.

Gerrard59:


Yeah, it is not depending on a product you don't control the price for 80% of national revenues but na pegging as if the Hong Kong dollar is not pegged or the South Korean Won is not artificially devalued to boost exports or the Bank of Japan does not continually interfere with exchange rates to boost exports. He said na pEgGiNg




Buhari, who I won't be surprised you campaigned and voted for in 2015, has been doing same since for almost seven years and Nigerians got poorer than ever before and had economic growth reduced to that of 2010 even though the population has increased.



You are a citizen of the world's poverty capital, because you live in say Lekki drinking soakaway water or sniffing soot filled oxygen in PH does not make you a rich person. By global standards, you are a poor person. It is a fact and does not care about your feelings.




If Nigerians were as rich as South Koreans, the Emiratis would not have banned Nigerians. But as poor people, they know it has brings no economic consequences to them. It is why the strength of the Nigerian passport has plummeted from 70+ countries to 46 within the past ten years. No one gives visa free privileges to poor people

Richy4:

if u were living in face me I face u, u go sabi find trouble... U were gifted in pushing people's buttons

Gerrard59:


The women who have held positions pivotal to Nigeria's development are infinitesimal compared to the number of men. The final buck stops at the table which a man controls. Okonjo Iweala had Jonathan while Zainab Ahmed has Buhari.

cc: Zooposki

Gerrard59:
Unless y'all opposing this thread point out one developed/functioning society created by women or the vast majority of those involved were women, you have no point whatsoever. Also, if you are so pained by the thread, tell fellow Nigerian men to at least create a functioning society and put women at the back seat. If "gender inequality" rankings are anything to go by, Emirati, South Korean and Japanese men have done so.

Create a damn functioning society and dictate what your women should do or behave. Again, men create the society, women integrate into it.

Gerrard59:

However, for Nigerian women to indulge in prostitution as a means to eat/survive, it tells us one thing – Nigerian men have failed their women.

TarOrfeeek:

Firstly, the socio economic building or construction of a thriving society, why is it men who are to blame that Nigeria failed. A country that was even created by a woman immediately after hot sekz.

Your postulations are wrong. You belittle women by claiming their decisions to trade sexual favors for food comes from a weak mental makeup.

Nigerian women are among the most unfaithful in the world (Durex studies). For a gender that relishes sex, utilising same activity to amass resources will only come naturally. And its not a man's fault.

Orphan, invalid or superhero - Nigerian women can do ALL things except accept responsibility for their own inherent flaws.

Tueh

SeaTrade:

Nigerian men are doing very well,I mean very well.You are not just able to meet up with the productive ones because they wouldn't roll with a nonentity like you,hence you use your unproductive circle(your likes) to judge Nigerian men.

Zooposki:


We are talking as a collective and not as individuals. Nigeria is a shithole country ravaged by all vices of criminal activities perpetrated by mostly the men.

Gerrard59:
I think I should break this down for those who are yet to grasp the meaning of this thread.


As a man, you are expected to provide for your family, giving the best you can offer. It is why your wife married you – she believes you can provide that comfort she desires. You do this for them (inclusive of children), this makes you proud as a man because you are living up to your responsibility. In return, you expect to be respected and adored; if you wish, you dictate rules and what you want to be enshrined which would be followed by members of the household. You expect your children to obey your instructions and as the prize, you choose who you want as wife and can demand if she must be a virgin or within a certain age range. You can do this because you are the man and want your household to be what it is. You can even set rules that your wife should dress like Deeper Life women, remain indoors and not speak back at you, she would mostly likely do these things because you have done your part. You can even marry another woman and she would not object because in return, you have provided the basics and her children live a prosperous life and have a bright future based on what you as the man - her husband – has laid down. You are the security in times of danger. Because of this, there exist consequences for ill-actions she (inclusive of the children) commits and you ensured she suffers them.

Now tell me, why should this be different in nation building?

ValCon888:
The rantings of an ignorant, pussy-whipped man.
A simp and a simpleton suffering from the simplex virus.

Gerrard59:
I think I should break this down for those who are yet to grasp the meaning of this thread.


As a man, you are expected to provide for your family, giving the best you can offer. It is why your wife married you – she believes you can provide that comfort she desires. You do this for them (inclusive of children), this makes you proud as a man because you are living up to your responsibility. In return, you expect to be respected and adored; if you wish, you dictate rules and what you want to be enshrined which would be followed by members of the household. You expect your children to obey your instructions and as the prize, you choose who you want as wife and can demand if she must be a virgin or within a certain age range. You can do this because you are the man and want your household to be what it is. You can even set rules that your wife should dress like Deeper Life women, remain indoors and not speak back at you, she would mostly likely do these things because you have done your part. You can even marry another woman and she would not object because in return, you have provided the basics and her children live a prosperous life and have a bright future based on what you as the man - her husband – has laid down. You are the security in times of danger. Because of this, there exist consequences for ill-actions she (inclusive of the children) commits and you ensured she suffers them.

Now tell me, why should this be different in nation building?

you have provided the basics and her children live a prosperous life and have a bright future based on what you as the man - her husband – has laid down

cococandy:
Many men like to talk about how women don’t build civilization. How women are weak. How we can’t handle power and that’s why all our leaders have been majority men. Now you’re being asked to take responsibility for the society you’ve created (and rightly so) and all I hear are deflections. Which one is it?

descarado:

In ti's very issue, I will very much love to blame the men only but reality is that it takes 2 to tango.
Our when are not better either.

Britain, America, China, Japan, South korea etc has very male dominated society back in the days, worst than what our women have ever experienced. I think in France, men have official concubine. Wives duties is to sew clothes and give birth and just stay in the house while the concubines are highly travelled, respected and influential etc. Courtesans were officially trained. They are women with power and respect. The reason a mere mistress was able to name a country Nigeria and no hell was raised. In China or Korea, women have little or no value. But you know what?
These women fought with everything in them. Read books or watch historical movies( real events that were adapted into movies from books) and see how far these women went to make history.
They fought a male dominated society, fought and fought and look at them now. They are still fighting.
In Nigeria,our parents even fought more than us.
Do we fight at all? (Mothers from childhood has already made his male child superior to her daughter. Its still mother's that train these oya and they turn out this way. After seeing how their husbands treated them, they still trained their sons to take the footsteps of their fathers.)
Why?
Cos our men are using psychological warfare on us through religion. Not that they practice what they preach but because it gives them power to control women hence their popular quote. Submission.
Society and culture has embraced it subconsciously that women see their husbands as mini gods instead of human and partner.

When women collectively push for their rights, heaven will not fall.
Men will have no choice either but to succumb. But, have we ever done that in our various families not to talk of society?
Hmm.

cococandy:
In our society, Women who fight are vilified.I blame those who take a back seat but at the same time, I don’t blame them. They choose to be non-confrontational. To fit in. To avoid being labeled as feminists and what have you. Honestly It’s easier. they don’t have to deal with the venom that inevitably comes your way when you’re woman who is known to question the status quo. Nobody really likes stress sha

Our society places premium on female docility. That’s what makes a good woman to us. Sometimes other women will drag you down because you’re too vocal. Too opinionated. Too much in general. It will be hard for us to collectively as you said push for our rights when amongst us we have those who value male validation over the best future for the coming girls and women.

descarado:

That is thr Cross of the matter. Women in other countries were vilified,killed, made outcast but it paid off.

We allowed our society to place that docility on us.
We allowed society to dictate.

It's not even culture but imported religions. Now we mix that with cultur and say that's how it was during the old. Even if it's cultural, culture evolves.
We are just going in circles.
Society shame you if you decide to be a single mum. Decide not to marry. Even a divorced lady is always evil. Our fellow women hail and praise men because they butter their bread. No gift, no boyfriend. We are our own problem cos we are very lazy( sorry to use this). An average naija woman want to sit at home and watch TV while maid do everything for her and oga credits her account.
It's not the man's fault here. We don't want to be independent. If naija women change, our men will adjust. Check history.
No change in this world if women don't fight for it.

cococandy:
In my experience Nigerian women are not lazy. If I know 20 women, maybe 2 of them are stay-at “-home moms. And that in itself isn’t an easy or lazy job.
But we still value traditionalism (in theory. Economic reality is very different) as a family concept where the man is the provider and the woman is the care giver. I wouldn’t ascribe it to laziness if women who consider themselves traditional women abide by this format. Personally I don’t encourage it.
But I do agree that if we collectively as women want to enact change, we can do it. We just have to value that more than staying “in our place”.

.

descarado:

I have read a publication on this. Women are compelled to work in naija. This doesn't mean all women anyway. If giving a choice, majority will love to stay at home.

A well known fact. Money is a determinant here. Whoever controls the money controls every other thing. Why is it that from the moment we are of age, we see men as milking machine?
Boyfriend, husband, even guys on friend zone.

What I'm trying yo say is when we srt being independent, we will have some power be it house or society. For now, it's just few. And those that are not to such level will pull you down if you want to fight for them.
We are our problem. Other societies have evolved.

Hathor5:
[s]Nigerian men want to be leaders/heads/captains without accountability.

They destroy the economy, blame in on the youth who is lazy.

They loot the country's resources, it's the white man and neocolonialism.

They cheat. It's the wife's fault.

Side chick kills them, also the wife's fault.

Children hate them, mother turned them against the father.

They rape, it's the victim's clothes.

Moral decay, it's the slay queen they patronize.

Divorce rate, feminism is to blame.

They can't control themselves but it's the female gender that is illogical and emotional[/s].

Hathor5:
Nigerian men want to be leaders/heads/captains without accountability.

They destroy the economy, blame in on the youth who is lazy.

They loot the country's resources, it's the white man and neocolonialism.

They cheat. It's the wife's fault.

Side chick kills them, also the wife's fault.

Children hate them, mother turned them against the father.

They rape, it's the victim's clothes.

Moral decay, it's the slay queen they patronize.

Divorce rate, feminism is to blame.

They can't control themselves but it's the female gender that is illogical and emotional.

Hathor5:


I agree with many points you have raised here but a few.

However, you and Coco are missing the point in this discussion.

For now men are leaders and as such they should take responsibility for the state of the country.

Could more women be leaders? Sure. Should women fight for a more egalitarian society. Most certainly.

But as long as men are the heads/captains/leaders they have to learn to take responsibility and should be held accountable.

If we go by your line of argument Buhari should be justified to refuse to take any responsibility because other parties have not won the election.

cococandy:
In my earlier post, I addressed one of the OP’s point which is that men should take responsibility for the society they have created. I think that part of the OP is spot on (I don’t necessarily agree with everything he said). But yes men are responsible for how we as a society are today because they have been leading.

The rest of it is what normally follows when the thread evolves to include more talking points.
Also I don’t agree with all descerado’s points. The issues we have as women who are affected by men’s poor leadership is certainly not easily solved by women being more independent.

descarado:

I have read a publication on this. Women are compelled to work in naija. This doesn't mean all women anyway. If giving a choice, majority will love to stay at home.

A well known fact. Money is a determinant here. Whoever controls the money controls every other thing. Why is it that from the moment we are of age, we see men as milking machine?
Boyfriend, husband, even guys on friend zone.

What I'm trying yo say is when we srt being independent, we will have some power be it house or society. For now, it's just few. And those that are not to such level will pull you down if you want to fight for them.
We are our problem. Other societies have evolved.

cococandy:
In our society, Women who fight are vilified.I blame those who take a back seat but at the same time, I don’t blame them. They choose to be non-confrontational. To fit in. To avoid being labeled as feminists and what have you. Honestly It’s easier. they don’t have to deal with the venom that inevitably comes your way when you’re woman who is known to question the status quo. Nobody really likes stress sha

Our society places premium on female docility. That’s what makes a good woman to us. Sometimes other women will drag you down because you’re too vocal. Too opinionated. Too much in general. It will be hard for us to collectively as you said push for our rights when amongst us we have those who value male validation over the best future for the coming girls and women.

Hathor5:


I agree with many points you have raised here but a few.

However, you and Coco are missing the point in this discussion.

For now men are leaders and as such they should take responsibility for the state of the country.

Could more women be leaders? Sure. Should women fight for a more egalitarian society. Most certainly.

But as long as men are the heads/captains/leaders they have to learn to take responsibility and should be held accountable.

If we go by your line of argument Buhari should be justified to refuse to take any responsibility because other parties have not won the election.