~Sissy~:

OP

the deed is done. however, you might want to get a second opinion on the test just to reassure you that it is indeed positive.

the next step is not how to tell anybody but how to take good care for yourself now and arm yourself with all the necessary reliable and accurate informations you lay your hand on regarding this disease and how to manage it.

i'd encourage you to visit/see a doctor and see when you can start treatment. the earlier, the better.

next is to change your lifestyle( diet, attitude towards everything, life and the disease inclusive because it can and will get discouraging at times) to accommodate your management of this disease.

telling your family will be hard because some people still see/think hiv as a death sentence, not everyone know that it is not transmitted by hand shake, sharing plate etc so do brace yourself for the stigma your might face/ if any) from your own family and others you might tell. there is no easy way per se to tell them you have HIV.

if i may ask how close/supportive is your family? because you will definitely need their support.

^^^ Best reply so far!

~Sissy~:

OP

the deed is done. however, you might want to get a second opinion on the test just to reassure you that it is indeed positive.

the next step is not how to tell anybody but how to take good care for yourself now and arm yourself with all the necessary reliable and accurate informations you lay your hand on regarding this disease and how to manage it.

i'd encourage you to visit/see a doctor and see when you can start treatment. the earlier, the better.

next is to change your lifestyle( diet, attitude towards everything, life and the disease inclusive because it can and will get discouraging at times) to accommodate your management of this disease.

telling your family will be hard because some people still see/think hiv as a death sentence, not everyone know that it is not transmitted by hand shake, sharing plate etc so do brace yourself for the stigma your might face/ if any) from your own family and others you might tell. there is no easy way per se to tell them you have HIV.

if i may ask how close/supportive is your family? because you will definitely need their support.

Nice advise. Also try to see a doctor and a good counsellor (HIV Counsellor) who can advise you on how to live a good life even with HIV. (This is if it is confirmed again and again that you're actually HIV +ve).

[QUOTE]Your life will never be the same[/QUOTE]
LMAO

prince_onx:

Tell which parent? Please don't cause early death for your parents oh if this is indeed a true story. This is a full grown man talking about getting married you guys should advise him if you have one and if he really have HIV, telling his folks comes later. Yes its good to tell your family but most african families are not very supportive in cases like this so follow your Doctors advise first (^{i.e if you truely have HIV})

Even a 50yr old need support from her family. This is a sensitive issue as its already is. Not all African Parents are like that.

He only have HIV. He didn't killed anybody. They should be able to understand.


Why is it that when we get admitted to hospitals our families visit us? Because we need more than medication to get cured. Support is essential in cases like this especially family support.

Offcourse they will get angry. Offcourse they will blow it out of propotion. I mean no parent would dance on hearing that their kid has HIV. But like they say, "family is family.' They will come to term with it. They will learn to deal with it and accept it which inturn will make things easier on the poster's side.

I advise you to get tested again at a different hospital/lab. Also seek counseling from a professional counselor as to how you should inform your parents and your girlfriend.

Make yourself understand that, having HIV is not and not a death sentence, understand and come to terms that u are HIV and live with it, go for regular check ups and get the right medication from doctors. and if im in ur shoes keep ur illness close to urself cos people in nigeria are not properly informed about HIV and they may see it differently. lastly, just live ur life and be happy , look for other fellow hiv positive people u can share and compare stories with for motivation and courage. Hiv dosent mean death sentence. You got it, live with it

@rokiatu:
Don't get me wrong am simply saying that telling them shouldn't be now. Figure out how to handle it like few people have advised above then if possible take them to one of the counseling appointment before telling them. immediate families of HIV/AIDS patient go through counseling too I hope its the same in naija cause like you said its not a pleasant news at all.
^{come to think of it, which will i even preffer between my family killing someone and coming home with HIV/AIDS em em em} _{think I'll preffer going to other people's house, ring the bell, take two steps back, salute their parents, hand them the flag and name tag and tell them their son didn't make it back than a soldier coming to tell my folks I didn't make it}   see what NL has turn me into, person dey talk of HIV I dey fool around  

My dear spread the news nt the virus please, thanks

[size=13pt]@OP[/size],

I'm no expert on this but will try on some advice.

You need to fix your mind and put it in a strong and stable state.

You have to try and be strong. Its a disease and not a death sentence. Its particularly painful when a lot is demanded from you by your family in the sense of starting a family etc.

Do a re-test and if its confirmed in the former affirmative then you decide when to start taking medication. Try meditation and exercising too. Try and live a normal life as best as you could.

You know the kind of family you come from so, you decide how best to manage the issue as regards communication.

Good luck.

ovwigho1:

My dear spread the news nt the virus please, thanks

There is a time and place to be funny seriously

@rokiatu- last week, when i did my HIV test and i pasted the result, you rudely asked what the big deal was. Well, it was a big deal for me, just so you know. Why dont you get tested n know what yours is. I can identify with this guy.

Pornodude:

@rokiatu- last week, when i did my HIV test and i pasted the result, you rudely asked what the big deal was. Well, it was a big deal for me, just so you know. Why dont you get tested n know what yours is. I can identify with this guy.

hahahahahha and so you had to attacked me on here?

Well I didn't know you were offended. Sorry abt that. For your info, I do know what mine is. Thanks for your concern all is well.

@poster- let me give you just one advice: GO TO ANOTHER CLINIC AND GET TESTED AGAIN. Hiv virus is not a virus that is easily picked up. Looking at your story, my advice is that you should get another test. Last month i read a story about a man who had been on retroviral detox medication for hiv for about 9months only to find out he wasnt positive. Reason- expired hiv test kits were used for his test. The man almost killed someone at the former clinic for making his life a living hell. Take another test.

Why were you sleeping around without condom?

Anyway, take heart. Take your HIV drugs regularly, there are worse things that could/'should' have happened to you.

Go check your hepatitis status, trust me, that is a worse infection than HIV, especially for someone living in Nigeria.

It is not the end of the world.

Craig D:


I then vow to be careful frm then on bcoz i had unprotected sex wt abt three different girls before  that and i hv seen my con.dom burst in two different occasions wt a LovePeddler i bleep in a brotel bt yet i didn't get d virus,ths happened around d year 2000-2004.
In d year 2006,i met ths girl and we became intimate friends and we later started having protected sex bt after a while i then made another mistake by having unprotected sex wt her and we both loved it since we trust eachother bt we didn't do any HIV test to knw if we are safe. I later went for a job interview and passed and that was in 2007 a year into our relationship and my company demanded for a compulsory HIV test result frm a government hospital. I didn't went for d test immediately because am nt sure of myself bt i knw dat my girlfriend was d only girl i hv bn havin sex wt after my first test and that was my vow,to keep to only one girl. 

Why does your employer want to know your HIV status?

Are you porn star? Travel cross-continent a lot? what do you do?

rokiatu:

hahahahahha and so you had to attacked me on here?

Well I didn't know you were offended. Sorry abt that. For your info, I do know what mine is. Thanks for your concern all is well.

no shaking.
I remember it took me about 1hour to gather up courage to tear the envelope n peek at the result. When i saw it, my spirit was raised n i bought beer for a few guys in my neighbourhood without telling them the reason for the beer. I felt immense relief. I thank God for it. I can understand what the poster is feeling cos i went through a bit of it b4 opening my enveloped result.

Pornodude:

@poster- let me give you just one advice: GO TO ANOTHER CLINIC AND GET TESTED AGAIN. Hiv virus is not a virus that is easily picked up. Looking at your story, my advice is that you should get another test. Last month i read a story about a man who had been on retroviral detox medication for hiv for about 9months only to find out he wasnt positive. Reason- expired hiv test kits were used for his test. The man almost killed someone at the former clinic for making his life a living hell. Take another test.  

true. exactly what I had in mind.

go to a different clinic and have the test taken again.
if it turns out that you are really positive, then I will first get started on anti-retrovirus drugs. get your regimen set up and then next try to find a way to break the news to people.

there are new medications out now that HIV is no longer a death sentence. but it's still a pain to live with.

This man has been living with HIV for over 2 decades!

He must have a cure.

Hi, my advice is you should go to a general hospital or federal medical center and get a confirmatory test, cos thats when u can be certain that u've the virus.
Its the duty of nurses and counsellors there to go give u pre and post test counselling
As corcerning telling ur parents, well u know them better than any person on nl, so just take your time before making your decision so as not to cause them any medical conditions which rather worsens the scenario.
I feel for you cos i know what its like although thankfully i'm not positive, my brother brace your self, wash yourself up and eat something you need ur strenght and in most cases its not the virus that actually kills the patient but rather depression and opportunitistic infections, so eat and be healthly so as to build your immune system
ask God for forgiveness and healing, remember all things are possible in Christ

zstranger:

Why were you sleeping around without condom?

Anyway, take heart. Take your HIV drugs regularly, there are worse things that could/'should' have happened to you.

Go check your hepatitis status, trust me, that is a worse infection than HIV, especially for someone living in Nigeria.

It is not the end of the world.

what is fun in sexx with a condom on ? Abeg the guy is just unlucky and he got himself in this rubbish.Anyways,he should just look for another HIV+ lady to marry and live goes on.

@all, am really happy for all your good advice to me.i cried all nite bt woke up ths morning reading your replies and i just felt a bit relieved because of your encouragement.God wl bless u all.
Concerning breaking d news to my parents is my biggest problem here and my fiancee too,dnt u think dat she may leave me and disclose ths secret to her family and it wl spread frm there. Secondly,if i breakup wt her wat wld be my reason to gv for d breakup wen confronted wt my parents? They love her as their own daughter and were happy dat i hv finally got a wife and a good one. I wl be 33 in  june nt a boy anymore bt suppose to be a father,these words were wat d always confront me wt weneva i visits them.
The issue of going for another test is wat i wl do nxt week to confirm,bt i did ths one on a good federal govt. Hospital where many people and to -be couples get tested in preparation for their wedding. I may nt actually doubt d result bt am stil confused hw i got it. As i said,i neva engaged in penetrative sex since my former gf left me and she's negative. I hv neva done any blood transfusion only that i use public clipper for cutting my hair,my mind is racing every places and i cn remember anytime i hv penetrative sex since then even wt a protection.
I called my sister whom i confide my top secret wt at nite and she said it might be an attack that such do happen,cn i believe ths?.

Na wa oooooo pls take heart nd move on with ur life people normally say dat wen der is life der is hope.

@craig d- from what you have said, i can draw 2 inferences- 1. There was a mistake in ur test result, i.e you might not be hiv positive. It might be a mistake, hence get tested again. 2. If you contacted hiv, forget about penetrativ sex. I dont think you contacted it via that means.
Approved govt hospital or not, get tested again. The lab scientist must have mixed up your result. Personally i dont think you have hiv.

@craig d- contrary to popular belief, hiv/aids isnt such an easily contractible disease. It is even rarer than the chicken pox or yellow fever disease. The possibility of contracting it is very very slim. Most sufferers usually hav a lifestyle that warranted directly or indirectly the contact. Just calm your mind n do another test as soon as possible. More than 50% of infected people live in the north-east and north-west of Nigeria. The south, east and west infection sufferers are spread thin around the states of there regions, so the risk is more reduced down here. Forget about the shaving clippers used on you- i dont think this is what happened. The most likely means of your infection was from that LovePeddler you bleeped, but at even that, whores are often tested and they are careful.
If possible, get tested again today n im 70% sure you would be negative. Tkia my dear man.

. . . Did u ask us for advice when u dey do chuku-chuku? U dey enjoy am alone and now yawa don gas, u dey do talk like a responsible man. Sorry

With deep respect to all the other posters especially those whose opinion negate mine, you have no obligation to tell your family. We all know that it is the "stigma" that kills the HIVer even faster than a bullet. The average uninfected man would do anything to dissociate himself from someone declared as an HIVer, even you the poster must have been like this before now. HIV cannot be transmitted my a hand shake, hugs, kisses, sharing the same kitchen utensils e.t.c. that is the fact on paper by WHO and other big names in the Med world, people have their own theories and beliefs about the matter entirely and would hold on to it with their lives, Your spouse should know and you both should decide if the families should be told or not.


You should see a health practitioner with specialty in HIV treatment and management. depending on when you got the virus there are changes that must happen over time. Make sure u keep in touch with your doctor for help when these changes start.

Even though am in d Middle of Writin my Exams, i cant help but Reply u.

Am Sorry about ur Status. Trust Me i Know a lil bit about how u Feel Right Now. U brain wil keep Tellin u that Death is Near. I used 2 b Obsessed about Not Catchin HIV so Every Time i Go 4 d Test d Anxiety Kills Me.
First off Sex is Not d Only Way 2 Catch HIV. Pin, Public Clipper & a Whole lot of other ways Exist. D Probability is just low Compared 2 Sex.
U can Catch it Tru Oral, Anal & Normal Sex. U myt want 2 inform al d Girls U have had Sex Wit. Sometimes d Virus doesnt Show Until 3 - 6 Month afta Infection, For Some Piple it is Longer than That.
My advice: Go 2 a General Hospital, Take d Test Again. If it is +, Sign up Early 4 thier HIV programme. U wil get 2 Talk 2 piple who can help u Tru it. Infact u wil see other healthy & happy piple Livin wit d Virus.
2: Dont Tell ur Fiance or Ur Parents or anybody 4 dat Matter 4 d Tym Bein, Let ur Fiance take d Test, if she is Clean, Come up wit a Reason why u have 2 Break up Wit her. U know ur Fiance beta dan i do. Wil she stay if she knows u hav d Virus? (in my opinion: Very unlikely) pls, let her move on,

Where do you people come up with this stories?? I bet you just lay up on your bed and think, what kind of story can i make up today on NL? You got the job today, you did the test today, you dated you ex-girlfriend today, you left your girlfriend for another woman today, you went for the test today and you discover that you are HIV positive TODAY!! Wow! you belong in the book of world records!

Or u myt b Lucky, d Girl myt Decides 2 stay. (if dat happens, i wil believe in Tru Love)
Remember Stigmatization kills Faster than HIV, Dont tel a Soul, Piple dont Really know how 2 Keep Secret & its nt thier Fault if they descriminate against u. They are just scared & ignorant of d Disease.
Take ur Tym until u ar Calm 2 Break d News 2 ur Parent. It cud be Years 4rm Now but Pls start d Antiretroviral Programme Now. It extend ur Life Span. Dont b 2 scared, u Wont Die. So Many oda common Disease Kills Faster than HIV. Malaria & d lyks kil more piple every Year.
U myt even b among d Lucky Piple dat Carries d Virus bt it wil just b stagnant in ur body. There ar Rare cases like that.
I have a lot 2 tel u but I have a paper Right about Now but U Can Drop Ur Fone No. I Wil find Time 2 Cal u Hope.

Sweet T:

Where do you people come up with this stories?? I bet you just lay up on your bed and think, what kind of story can i make up today on NL? You got the job today, you did the test today, you dated you ex-girlfriend today, you left your girlfriend for another woman today, you went for the test today and you discover that you are HIV positive TODAY!! Wow! you belong in the book of world records!

are you sure you are alright? if u have nothing meaningful to contribute to this thread just move away.