Growing up I've always want to please my parent, as a Christian of which we were thought that children should obey their parent so that their days might be long but then it has always been sometime of depression over the years. I've always want to open up to people but they'd say i shouldn't stop doing the best to make them happy but my toxic trait cant let it go anymore now I'm stucked to move on with life.

Just look in between... there lies your solution

Calm down,get their blessings and move on someday.
Dont be a disobedient child.
May GOD see u thru.

I understand your feeling.

But don't ever neglect or disappoint them.

Think if this is between you (parent) and your biological son, and the son takes a bad decision on you, how will you feel?