GboyegaD:


We know the issues and we can choose to build an ideology/identity and change our name. Nobody will do for us that which we can do by ourselves.

I think it was lord Lugard that said that northern and southern Nigeria would never miss together just like oil and water, therefore, i don't have any hope of this country getting better except we go our different ways.

Initially, I thought OP has four children. However, upon reading ensuing comments, it's apparent that he intends to procreate four children notwithstanding Nigeria's present conditions. Highly pitiable and pathetic.

Anyone in Nigeria who intentionally gives birth to more than three children (this is even up for debate) admist the country's conditions is mentally impaired, no ifs or buts.

It’s relative.
There’s the environment to consider, right diet, standard shelter and quality schools as well.
What works for someone on this thread might not work for you.
You are the one to weigh your options, considering the times we live in.

It’s none of my business though, but I think if you really want the best for those kids, try not to have up to 4.

My apologies to those who already have that number of kids.
Unless a parent is heartless, I’m not sure anyone would want to have the number of kids that he might not be able to cater for.

AloneTK:
It’s relative.
There’s the environment to consider, right diet, standard shelter and quality schools as well.
What works for someone on this thread might not work for you.
You are the one to weigh your options, considering the times we live in.

It’s non of my business though, but I think if you really want the best for those kids, try not to have up to 4.

My apologies to those who already have that number of kids.
Unless a parent is heartless, I’m not sure anyone would want to have the number of kids that he might not be able to cater for.

Gerrard59:
Initially, I thought OP has four children. However, upon reading ensuing comments, it's apparent that he intends to procreate four children notwithstanding Nigeria's present conditions. Highly pitiable and pathetic.

Anyone in Nigeria who intentionally gives birth to more than three children (this is even up for debate) admist the country's conditions is mentally impaired, no ifs or buts.

The thread asked how much to take care of a family of four and you left the question to start answering how many children should i have, make una check una selves o especially with the way you use words like mentally impaired or wicked.

abouzaid:


The thread asked how much to take care of a family of four and you left the question to start answering how many children should i have, make una check una selves o especially with the way you use words like mentally impaired or wicked.

Relax.
Remember I said it’s RELATIVE.
You need not feel offended.
If you live in a village, and do not care about eating the right kind of food, and if you see nothing wrong in living in an unhealthy environment in terms of infrastructure and fixing the kids up at any mushroom school, then, the whatever you have in mind is MORE than enough.
The cost of raising a family in Lagos can never be compared to what is the case in Ibadan for instance.

Even though you tied your question to a family of “6”, you felt uncomfortable by my comment.
Apologies!
I have tried not to mention family size. I do hope I have touched on the area of interest now.

GboyegaD:


Ok ooo. I understand it because I had friends who grew up in such conditions however, whoever choose that in this age and time is wicked and inconsiderate.

Assuming your salary is 50k with three children and your wife has no contribution financially,
What kind of apartments will you be going for,
Three bedrooms ?
Two bedrooms?
Mini flat of room and parlour?
Just a room in face me?

Pls pick your choice let me know if it's choosen as wickedness or inconsiderate

frozen70:


Assuming your salary is 50k with three children and your wife has no contribution financially,
What kind of apartments will you be going for,
Three bedrooms ?
Two bedrooms?
Mini flat of room and parlour?
Just a room in face me?

Pls pick your choice let me know if it's choosen as wickedness or inconsiderate

Why will I with such an earning have such size of family? Children are a result of actions of two grown up and we shouldn't keep encouraging what isn't right. If one doesn't have the wherewithal, one shouldn't do it.

GboyegaD:


Why will I with such an earning have such size of family? Children are a result of actions of two grown up and we shouldn't keep encouraging what isn't right. If you don't have the wherewithal, don't do it.

He was thinking this same way, when he was a Batchelor until he got married and change the narrative
Same thing with few people

Na wá foriti those shouting 40k in this current economic situation of the country.
Family of 6 will spend nothing less than 200k

frozen70:


He was thinking this same way, when he was a Batchelor until he got married and change the narrative
Same thing with few people

Well, that is a possibility. Most times, we all do things out of our selfishness anyways.

abouzaid:


The thread asked how much to take care of a family of four and you left the question to start answering how many children should i have, make una check una selves o especially with the way you use words like mentally impaired or wicked.

And that to me is the issue. Why should someone, seemingly mentally normal, aspire to have four children in present day Nigeria?

What for?

frozen70:


He was thinking this same way, when he was a Batchelor until he got married and change the narrative
Same thing with few people

Vasectomy;
Abortion;
Postinor;
Condom;
Varied female contraceptives. Family planning doctors are available. The Internet is free. Planned Parenthood and Marie Stopes exist in Nigeria.

Ignorance is not an excuse.

Gerrard59:


And that to me is the issue. Why should someone, seemingly mentally normal, aspire to have four children in present day Nigeria?

What for?

please, can you stick to the topic? thank you.

abouzaid:
what we are suffering in this country today was the same fate suffered by our fathers, the problem of this country is structural, in the words of Awolowo " There is no true Nigerian just as we have a French or italian... Nigeria is a mere geographical expression created by the British for their own diabolical (evil) intentions.", therefore, i dare to say that Nigeria have never worked, Nigeria is not working and Nigeria would never work.

The bold doesn't give you the right to misbehave and go around procreating like a foolish person.

Will it cost you too much to apply common sense?

Gerrard59:
Initially, I thought OP has four children. However, upon reading ensuing comments, it's apparent that he intends to procreate four children notwithstanding Nigeria's present conditions. Highly pitiable and pathetic.

Anyone in Nigeria who intentionally gives birth to more than three children (this is even up for debate) admist the country's conditions is mentally impaired, no ifs or buts.

Left for me, I'd say we cap it at two. Sometimes, we need to be extreme.

Raalsalghul:


The bold doesn't give you the right to misbehave and go around procreating like a foolish person.

Will it cost you too much to apply common sense?

Please, stick to the topic.Thank you.

Raalsalghul:


The bold doesn't give you the right to misbehave and go around procreating like a foolish person.

Will it cost you too much to apply common sense?

frozen70:



It's a room and parlour with kitchen and toilet included on the apartment

It doesn't have effects on the kids because they will sleep in the parlour

This is poverty for christ sake

GboyegaD:


If this is true, it means we prefer quantity to quality.

abouzaid:
I think it was lord Lugard that said that northern and southern Nigeria would never miss together just like oil and water, therefore, i don't have any hope of this country getting better except we go our different ways.

Will going our different ways solve the issue? For me, i will say NOOOOOOOOO
Splitting nigeria into smaller fractions won't solve nada, i mean NOTHING.
Check out smaller african countries like gabon (small country with a lot of oil), sierra leone, liberia, togo, benin rep, gambia, equitorial guinea with a population of 1.2m people yet suffering(Ogun state alone is 5m people yet has alot of oil) etc
They are all a bunch of failures. The problem with africa is the mentality, it is more of the human software than the hardware or physical.
The average black man is short-sighted, myopic, will sacrifice a long term and regular gain for instant gratification.
A black man is a disease

AloneTK:
It’s relative.
There’s the environment to consider, right diet, standard shelter and quality schools as well.
What works for someone on this thread might not work for you.
You are the one to weigh your options, considering the times we live in.

It’s none of my business though, but I think if you really want the best for those kids, try not to have up to 4.

My apologies to those who already have that number of kids.
Unless a parent is heartless, I’m not sure anyone would want to have the number of kids that he might not be able to cater for.

At the bolded - it is not even about giving birth to the number of kids you can take care of, it is about adding human error to the condition.
Who told us we will get to 40 or 50 or 70? is there any guarantee for that? in worst case scenario, if we die let's say 45 years old, can the other partner quietly take care of the kids on ground without much feeling the loss of the other partner?

If a man with 4 kids die today, can is wife comfortably carry on the family without she sleeping around, the children dropping from school, turning to prostitutes or militants or thieves or boko haram or pipeline vandalisers or yahoo boys etc
Humans act first before thinking and not the other way round.
Also, i noticed we have a human error of projecting today's condition into the future without adding any external factors - e.g a man who gets employed today and start earning 150k a month, will use that as a yard stick and project it into the future by thinking andd acting like this - he will get married this year, plans to have 3-4 kinds within the next 8-10 years and he believes by then, he would have had his masters or phd and gets a pay rise or a better job from another company to sustain his family.
Well, as life will have it, it is not always a straight line graph as we forecast. He may lose his job before then due to company downsizing or non-favourable govt. policy or stiff competition from other companies, he may get dropped out due to health issues he didn't forecasted(he will place the blame on village people who have seen his future and wants to cut it short), accidents are possible, death is a possibility, even losing his invested money is an option he didn't factor into the equation. Alot of things ay derail all our plans but the average black man believes people like us worry alot and should live life today and God will take care of tomorow because tomorrow or the future belongs to God.

frozen70:


Assuming your salary is 50k with three children and your wife has no contribution financially,
What kind of apartments will you be going for,
Three bedrooms ?
Two bedrooms?
Mini flat of room and parlour?
Just a room in face me?

Pls pick your choice let me know if it's choosen as wickedness or inconsiderate

A man earning 50k and wife not earning with 3 kids is a stupid man without no plans or discipline.
He deserves the kind of life or hardship that befalls him.

emmaodet:


Will going our different ways solve the issue? For me, i will say NOOOOOOOOO
Splitting nigeria into smaller fractions won't solve nada, i mean NOTHING.
Check out smaller african countries like gabon (small country with a lot of oil), sierra leone, liberia, togo, benin rep, gambia, equitorial guinea with a population of 1.2m people yet suffering(Ogun state alone is 5m people yet has alot of oil) etc
They are all a bunch of failures. The problem with africa is the mentality, it is more of the human software than the hardware or physical.
The average black man is short-sighted, myopic, will sacrifice a long term and regular gain for instant gratification.
A black man is a disease

Your last statement couldn't have captured it more but watch how some people will come to blame the white man.

busola500:
As Nigeria Is it now let me say 40k will be manageable for them

so just about N1,300 for the whole family in a day? Are you leaving in Nigeria?

emmaodet:


Will going our different ways solve the issue? For me, i will say NOOOOOOOOO
Splitting nigeria into smaller fractions won't solve nada, i mean NOTHING.
Check out smaller african countries like gabon (small country with a lot of oil), sierra leone, liberia, togo, benin rep, gambia, equitorial guinea with a population of 1.2m people yet suffering(Ogun state alone is 5m people yet has alot of oil) etc
They are all a bunch of failures. The problem with africa is the mentality, it is more of the human software than the hardware or physical.
The average black man is short-sighted, myopic, will sacrifice a long term and regular gain for instant gratification.
A black man is a disease

You nailed it man. People always think it's about breaking into smaller factions. The mind of average Nigerians is not upright.

emmaodet:


Will going our different ways solve the issue? For me, i will say NOOOOOOOOO
Splitting nigeria into smaller fractions won't solve nada, i mean NOTHING.
Check out smaller african countries like gabon (small country with a lot of oil), sierra leone, liberia, togo, benin rep, gambia, equitorial guinea with a population of 1.2m people yet suffering(Ogun state alone is 5m people yet has alot of oil) etc
They are all a bunch of failures. The problem with africa is the mentality, it is more of the human software than the hardware or physical.
The average black man is short-sighted, myopic, will sacrifice a long term and regular gain for instant gratification.
A black man is a disease

word on a marble.. Even almighty South Africa in the hands of a black man is facing crisis

emmaodet:
[/b]

At the bolded - it is not even about giving birth to the number of kids you can take care of, it is about adding human error to the condition.
Who told us we will get to 40 or 50 or 70? is there any guarantee for that? in worst case scenario, if we die let's say 45 years old, can the other partner quietly take care of the kids on ground without much feeling the loss of the other partner?

If a man with 4 kids die today, can is wife comfortably carry on the family without she sleeping around, the children dropping from school, turning to prostitutes or militants or thieves or boko haram or pipeline vandalisers or yahoo boys etc
Humans act first before thinking and not the other way round.
Also, i noticed we have a human error of projecting today's condition into the future without adding any external factors - e.g a man who gets employed today and start earning 150k a month, will use that as a yard stick and project it into the future by thinking andd acting like this - he will get married this year, plans to have 3-4 kinds within the next 8-10 years and he believes by then, he would have had his masters or phd and gets a pay rise or a better job from another company to sustain his family.
Well, as life will have it, it is not always a straight line graph as we forecast. He may lose his job before then due to company downsizing or non-favourable govt. policy or stiff competition from other companies, he may get dropped out due to health issues he didn't forecasted(he will place the blame on village people who have seen his future and wants to cut it short), accidents are possible, death is a possibility, even losing his invested money is an option he didn't factor into the equation. Alot of things ay derail all our plans but the average black man believes people like us worry alot and should live life today and God will take care of tomorow because tomorrow or the future belongs to God.

Walai bros you have my mindset. I think just like this but a lot of people call me a pessimist. Once I get into a good position in life I always have an exit plan and prepare for the worst case scenario and that has helped me a lot. The same scenario you spoke about happened to my Uncle. He was a safety officer at one of the major international oil companies. Immediately he got a job he ran to get married. No consideration for further certifications to make him indispensable nothing. Gave birth to 3 kids unfortunately that job is gone and him and his wife and kids are seriously suffering in the village. It's insane. They can go weeks without eating.

I remember when I got my first good paying programming job I am a computer programmer. My aunt called me to get married immediately I told her I can't do it. Marriage isn't even in my trajectory till my 40s and I dont even want to get married in Nigeria. I started writing foreign exams on that job and developing myself further. When I lost that job it took me 2 to 3 weeks to get another one of even higher pay. Imagine if I just relaxed. You can never relax as a man O. You must continue to add value to yourself or suffer the consequences.

tensazangetsu20:

Walai bros you have my mindset. I think just like this but a lot of people call me a pessimist. Once I get into a good position in life I always have an exit plan and prepare for the worst case scenario and that has helped me a lot. The same scenario you spoke about happened to my Uncle. He was a safety officer at one of the major international oil companies. Immediately he got a job he ran to get married. No consideration for further certifications to make him indispensable nothing. Gave birth to 3 kids unfortunately that job is gone and him and his wife and kids are seriously suffering in the village. It's insane. They can go weeks without eating.

This has always been my greatest fear! And that's why I chose to go into Tech! Cos that's , for now the surest secured Career one can have with very minimal job losses. My greatest fear is being comfortable today then going broke and suffering tomorrow , watching my kids and wife suffer. so for this sake I'm learning Software development , and my main Goal is moving to a more predictable economy. And economy where in case things go south , there is some sort of Government assistance so that at least what I and my family would eat won't be some sort of food for thought!

It hurts me so bad when I see someone in need and I can't help out! So with Tech , being in an advanced economy eg Europe etc I would never be in lack and my marriage go sweet!

lordally:


This has always been my greatest fear! And that's why I chose to go into Tech! Cos that's , for now the surest secured Career one can have with very minimal job losses. My greatest fear is being comfortable today then going broke and suffering tomorrow , watching my kids and wife suffer. so for this sake I'm learning Software development , and my main Goal is moving to a more predictable economy. And economy where in case things go south , there is some sort of Government assistance so that at least what I and my family would eat won't be some sort of food for thought!

It hurts me so bad when I see someone in need and I can't help out! So with Tech , being in an advanced economy eg Europe etc I would never be in lack and my marriage go sweet!

Tech is the only industry that has job security. If you lose your job you can always easily get another but in oil and gas and banking once you lose your job it's finished. That's why you see a lot of those high earners doing canada express entry. They know once the job is gone they are finished.

tensazangetsu20:

Tech is the only industry that has job security. If you lose your job you can always easily get another but in oil and gas and banking once you lose your job it's finished. That's why you see a lot of those high earners doing canada express entry. They know once the job is gone they are finished.

I I'm interested in digital marketing graphics design and video edit please where do you recommend I learn from

Mowii:
I I'm interested in digital marketing graphics design and video edit please where do you recommend I learn from

YouTube or Udemy.

emmaodet:
[/b]


Also, i noticed we have a human error of projecting today's condition into the future without adding any external factors
Alot of things ay derail all our plans but the average black man believes people like us worry alot and should live life today and God will take care of tomorow because tomorrow or the future belongs to God.

You literarily voiced my thoughts!
Humans hold the key to their future.