So, after marriage, life becomes somehow isolated. No friends around as usual, everything is gradually becoming just you and your partner. Especially if there's relocation to a new environment.

It's really fun doing everything together in love though. But sometimes I, it seems so many loved ones are so far away both physically and emotionally.

How do you overcome this? Especially making new friends with fellow young married ladies of your type? How did you build and create your new world in your marriage?
Pls share

Yeah, that is a time to change your friends to a mature friends,
Yeah after marriage you will be isolated that occur to me too,
But you just have to be strong, and choose advice that you take for your marriage.

I also experienced this. It was difficult though. I started going to church because it got to a point it's like I was lonely. If you don't visit your friends they will never visit you cause they feel you're no longer on their level. It is then you know God is your strength.

Same way you grew from a child to an adult....puberty and all took place, same way you will evolve. 1st year is usually hard but remain committed to the cause.
With time you will realize that your social cycle changes. You will get more comfortable with your kind and it gets more awesome by the way.

Oh and a bit more .... Same way u have met efulefus who didn't contribute to ur life as a single dude, u will meet some married couples who r efulefus too...don't be shocked, shake them off and don't allow them rub off anything u and your wife can't allows in your home. After a few years u may become stuck with just another couple or two u can count on and you guys bonded with.

I don't have friends anymore as I don't visit so they , too don't visit. I have enough taking my attention for now, raising my toddler's, attending to home chores, going to work and building a career, worrying about not having friends is the least ! My kids and my hubby are my friends for now , but I do have a healthy relationship with my colleagues

Goldbw122:
Yeah, that is a time to change your friends to a mature friends,
Yeah after marriage you will be isolated that occur to me too,
But you just have to be strong, and choose advice that you take for your marriage.

Your friends before marriage weren’t mature?
Does maturity come with marriage in all cases? I doubt.

khadaffi:
I also experienced this. It was difficult though. I started going to church because it got to a point it's like I was lonely. If you don't visit your friends they will never visit you cause they feel you're no longer on their level. It is then you know God is your strength.

If you could open up to your friends then, what would you have told them?

Darlingme:
Especially if there's relocation to a new environment.

-You can make new friends at work (if a new job is involved), Church, or join local activities in the new city.

-You can keep in touch with the friends you left behind via phone and video calls.

-You can make your husband your friend (which he should be anyway).

Happy married life.

To many Africans marriage is an achievement
So they see the need to cut of their single friends as they are seen as irresponsible... Scout for married friends

mariahAngel:


Your friends before marriage weren’t mature?
Does maturity come with marriage in all cases? I doubt.

Your friends before marriage weren’t mature?
What I meant was marriage wise.. Experience speaks faster than merely words.
Does maturity come with marriage in all cases? I doubt.
Yeah, you are right, there are other factors that affect, sha..

Thanks @all for sharing.

Pinkzebra:
I don't have friends anymore as I don't visit so they , too don't visit. I have enough taking my attention for now, raising my toddler's, attending to home chores, going to work and building a career, worrying about not having friends is the least ! My kids and my hubby are my friends for now , but I do have a healthy relationship with my colleagues

I wish I could develop that mind. Maybe with time. But right now, I missed everyone and wish everything could be the way it used to.

But it's okay. We're learning everyday

That moving away part is a big one. Extended family and some not so serious friends that might once in a while occupy your day usually become non-existent once you move away. If you don’t reach out, none of them will. And funny thing is that when you do reach out, they’ll ask why you haven’t called since .

You just make sure you really like the person you married because it’s going to be you and them for a long long time.

Here’s what works for me.

Plan lots of family activities and outings. Insert vacations and staycations whenever possible. Look I legit book hotel stays in locations that are a few minutes away from my house just to switch things up . Dress up and go there and pretend like you’re visiting from afar and see your city from a visitor’s perspective. Get creative babe.

Between raising the kids, building a career, planning and executing family activities etc. you won’t have a lot of time to feel lonely.

However, There are times when you will inevitably feel it. Call your friends, video chat with them ( you don’t have to visit), text them or chat on social media. If you have siblings, get closer to them even if not physically. I can be on the phone with any of my sisters for hours just doing laundry together and giggling over nothing. Before you know it, it’s bedtime.

Cultivate a hobby. Things like gardening (if you have a green thumb) shopping, content creating on social media etc can be great pastimes. In fact sometimes you won’t know when the day just breezed by. Go to yoga, a local gym in your area, or take your kids to a kid-friendly play zone.

I think it depends on the friends you had; if you were really close. My friends didn't change, neither did my husband's friends. I had the same friends an attended their weddings (the ones that got married after me, which was most).

There's no rule that says you have to lose your friends and focus on your spouse alone. Because after a while, you become lonely.

I still visit my friends and they visit me. We still hang out when convenient. Marriage shouldn't be a cage.

cococandy:
That moving away part is a big one. Extended family and some not so serious friends that might once in a while occupy your day usually become non-existent once you move away. If you don’t reach out, none of them will. And funny thing is that when you do reach out, they’ll ask why you haven’t called since .

You just make sure you really like the person you married because it’s going to be you and them for a long long time.

Here’s what works for me.

Plan lots of family activities and outings. Insert vacations and staycations whenever possible. Look I legit book hotel stays in locations that are a few minutes away from my house just to switch things up . Dress up and go there and pretend like you’re visiting from afar and see your city from a visitor’s perspective. Get creative babe.

You know, I was thinking about the topic yesterday and ways one can cope with the situation, and the bolded actually crossed my mind.

Between raising the kids, building a career, planning and executing family activities etc. you won’t have a lot of time to feel lonely.

However, There are times when you will inevitably feel it. Call your friends, video chat with them ( you don’t have to visit), text them or chat on social media. If you have siblings, get closer to them even if not physically. I can be on the phone with any of my sisters for hours just doing laundry together and giggling over nothing. Before you know it, it’s bedtime.

Cultivate a hobby. Things like gardening (if you have a green thumb) shopping, content creating on social media etc can be great pastimes. In fact sometimes you won’t know when the day just breezed by. Go to yoga, a local gym in your area, or take your kids to a kid-friendly play zone.

One of the reasons (I think) why friends will hardly reach out might be because they feel since that their friend is married, he or she no longer needs them, while the married friend will feel abandoned by friends.

mariahAngel:


You know, I was thinking about the topic yesterday and ways one can cope with the situation, and the bolded actually crossed my mind.

Game changer. Do it.

One of the reasons (I think) why friends will hardly reach out might be because they feel since that their friend is married, he or she no longer needs them, while the married friend will feel abandoned by friends.

That’s right. It’s such a cycle that someone needs to break it. It helps if the single friends know that their married friends don’t suddenly feel like they are better for being married. My friends know that I consider every woman equal. All that rubbish of according married women “more respect” because of marriage doesn’t fly with me.

Distance is the one that you can’t really help. You have to bear it and find ways around it.

Since I don't keep friends when single, so it's been easy going on that path after marriage, just talk with colleagues at work and it ends there, no time at all.

Okay

Darlingme:
So, after marriage, life becomes somehow isolated. No friends around as usual, everything is gradually becoming just you and your partner. Especially if there's relocation to a new environment.

It's really fun doing everything together in love though. But sometimes I, it seems so many loved ones are so far away both physically and emotionally.

How do you overcome this? Especially making new friends with fellow young married ladies of your type? How did you build and create your new world in your marriage?
Pls share

Depends on your personality. If you are an introvert, making friends or hanging out would be the last thing on your mind and it is also better for peace of mind.


I don’t know how people enjoy moving around and making friends with all the wahala attached to it.


As per family, you can always visit your family and get together once in a while.

Well I can't really say for now cos mine is brand new, but I still gist and hang out with my friends same as always, can't afford to live a boring life because I'm living with a man, but marriage is sweet sha

I am currently in that phase now... I practically Don't have friends lol... My phone doesn't even ring again... The only phone call I receive is just from my siblings and mom or my partner or my mom-in-law....
My WhatsApp chat is just dormant, I only view statuses, I rarely post sef.... Nairaland is what keeps me.... I spend more of my time here... Maybe when I get a job... I'll meet new maybe married friends...

What about we that have been alone since childhood?

Few good friends is always the best.