If you want to help a person, you should help the person simply because you feel the person deserves your help. That way even if things don't work out perfectly with the person, you'll know you did the right thing. You'll be happy that you invested your resources into a worthy soul.

You are heartless. Why didn't you leave her when u were broke?

Imagine if you were the one who sponsored Chimanmanda Adichie through school, and she went on to achieve all these things.  Whether or not she marries you or whatever, you'll be proud of what you did.

@ op pls if u feel u cannot spend d rest of your life wit her, let her go otherwise if u marry her out of pity u will soon hate her and both of u will be miserable or u may just need space to value wat u have.Life is too short to manage anyone as a life partner.

If your heart is not in it let her go.The better man for her will come along she is still young. Do get out of the rship ASAP if that is your ultimate plan.

@andromeda Exactly. She is young, she will definitely survive. Don't waste her time. She can do better.

see all the hypocrites in here!!!!

are you all suggesting that this guy stays with this gal even though, NOW, he realizes that they aint a match?!
lets call him stoopid for not seeing the writing on the wall 5yrs ago, but at least, he will finally show his true colour to this gal.

yes, what the poster is doing is not "nice" but who in here has never used someone in their lives before to better themselves?! be honest!

my only beef with poster is that he claims to love her, while we can all confirm that he doesnt, if BS like the one he pointed is his reason for backing out

my name is sylvia, from calaba stay in ph and benin. a bit tall
very fair in complexion, sexxy shape not fat but very bursty with
tick and dark nipples.i need someone to suck my juicy pussy with a long
clitoris and i love sucking the cap of a dick.i need a loving, caring and strong guy for a hot sex. i luv sucking and fucking big dick 08039472657

^^^Wale has it gotten to this level?

I'm kinda in agreement with deniyor's comment. It took 5yrs. for you to realize she wasn't your "type"? Wow, ending this is not going to be pretty. You've been "dating" this young lady since she was a teenager so either way you go about it explaining it, she's going to be heartbroken. You two have quite a history together and you will have to understand if you decide to break things off with her that it's going to draw suspcions of your true feelings and motive of getting with her in the first place. It'll take some time, but it'll all past. She's still young and have some growing and maturing to do. She sounds like a good woman, so I'm sure she will bounce back on her feet if not sooner, than later.

But at the same time, no one have to remain in a unhappy non-compatible relationship just because of the kind things someone has done for you. But I would strongly advise, before you do anything, make sure you think long and hard about this. Which ever way you decide, DO NOT waver back and forth no matter what the outcome is. STICK to your guns. Last thing someone needs is their heart toyed with.

its like this house has misinterpreted me.i did nt say im leaving her, neither did i mention it dat im no longer in love with her. wht i asked for were ways to make things work out in a non-compatible relationship.
take this as an instance, when it comes to s3x, i love pre-intimacy, i love licking,sucking,kissing,touching,etc but these are the things she does nt crave for. and she is the type that wen she reaches climax once,that is the end of that round of s3x.
i want this house to know that i love her, and i love her so much.
wht im seeking for are ways to make things work out for good for the two of us so that by the time wen/if we finally get married, there will not be any reasons for any of us to seek s3xual pleasure from elsewhere.

U ll af say is d zexxxx na
well mk er understand ow u feel abt it

@dyt, the s3x was only an instance, and beside, i ve talked to her severally, i ve lectured her.bt no improvement

Den u nt doin it d ryt way
give er a very special head
mk er c reasons 2 wanna love n enjoy sexxx
my bf gave me reasons 2 always mk sexxx a priority

good2know:

its like this house has misinterpreted me.i did nt say im leaving her, neither did i mention it dat im no longer in love with her. wht i asked for were ways to make things work out in a non-compatible relationship.

You didn't sound like you wanted to work things out, you came across as someone who is seeing red lights already.

Anyways settle down and outline some of these incompatibilities if we are to give you better advise.

OP:
I'm not a proponent of sex before or outside of marriage. I say this with much humility because I didn't grow up with those ideas but realized a better choice through life experiences and later coming to know and accept Jesus into my heart/life.

However, I would directly ask her what issues she's having. Maybe she's just not be sexual or maybe there's some hidden insecurity because you are not married or it could be lack of experience. Sometimes a women feels freedom within a secure rship (i.e. marriage). When she feels love and security she's more likely able to release her love and expression thereof in double portions. pre-intimacy with some women starts a week-in-advance, so to speak. Meaning, how have you treated her long before the touching began? Believe me if you have not treated and warmed her properly then she will probably be cold as ice.

Whatever a man gives a woman, even the smallest seed, will multiply and grow to become a massive thing---[i]positive or negative. Tell a woman she has 5lbs to lose and she will think she's obese. Give her a sperm and she will produce a child that outgrows you. Give her a potatoe, a veggie, a leg of lamb and she will produce a soup that can be eaten for days.[/i]

@OP.A lot have been said.I only want 2 point out something-Love is a DECISION.Why?How?U can neva get a perfect partner.Just d way u neva av perfect situations/conditions,just d way u don't av all d money u need,jst d way u r nt perfect, All I'm saying in essence is dt in life, once it is something you want n u know it's good 4 u,U brave all odds to get it.This babe appears 2 me 2 b some1 who'll make a good companion.Think again.All d best.

otokx: such is life

I dey tell you...
wickedness at its peak.