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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? (6234 Views)
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Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by xynerise: 9:19am On May 24, 2011 |
I feel envious when I see my parents playing love despite their ages. My dad married my mum without knowing who she really was yet they love themselves to the fullest. The say courtship is good but today despite the number of years you spent with a partner in courtship, is either she marries someone else or she misbehaves when you marry her. Why? 1 Like |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by iyatrustee(f): 9:22am On May 24, 2011 |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by 190: 9:24am On May 24, 2011 |
Hope u aint trying to bash the female gender here cos most times, i tend to think its a global problem and not necessarily directed towards one of the gender I would like to date a lady for at least a year before thinkin of marrying her she could have other idea's but i guess the innocence was what sustained our parents marriages rite now, the males and the female go head on head on who should be the head of the house and this result in such relationships hitting the rocks |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by iyatrustee(f): 9:31am On May 24, 2011 |
190: best sentence you have constructed in a long time which is completely true 190: dat is where the problem lies! dating for 1yr or more in the process defiling our bodies and eventually get tired of the same body long before marrying the lady. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by Wislet(f): 9:36am On May 24, 2011 |
190:Also, wat is supposed to be enjoyed IN marriage is enjoyed OUT OF it, cooking,cleaning, wat have u, So, wat makes it intriguing or new? Thirdly, the full understanding of or respect toward marriage doesn't seem to be there. Fourth, we marry for the wrong reasons- she's busty, fat behind, figure eight, etc. And not for quality-can keep house and home, from a good, reputable family, respectful,etc. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by MMM2(m): 9:55am On May 24, 2011 |
op in d olden dayz money waz not involved in marriage, so let say is part of development in a country. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by afrobaby(f): 10:21am On May 24, 2011 |
If you say most of our parents stayed in marriage for a longer period or never divorced, I can accept that, but that they love themselves more, I don't totally agree with that, reason being that most of our parents especially the mothers stayed in marriage and pretend to love their husband because of the children, they don't want the stigma of a single parent or living without a husband, many of them endured the pains and agony of marriage for the sake of their children, not for any other thing I am not in support of the rate of divorce nowadays either, but really courtship is not what determines ow marriage will end, |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by xynerise: 10:27am On May 24, 2011 |
^I am sorry if your parents are divorced, that one concern them. I gave example of my parents. Who cares about yours? |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by afrobaby(f): 10:33am On May 24, 2011 |
and what makes u think my parents are divorced, I guess u are myopic, nairaland is for a broader point of view, not from one's experience only, my parents are still married after over 40 years of marriage, and guess what, they didnt do blinddate or give me ur daughter so my son can marry him, the way it was done for ur mother, my parent had a normal courship, lol I just read thru ur past posts and I understand u are still a small boy with a small brain |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by moonraker(m): 10:35am On May 24, 2011 |
If u ask me, i think its too much MTV that destroyed the whole real LOVE thingy, My parents have been married for 50years and they are still together, One can only Pray hard to God to help our present generation, |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by xynerise: 10:42am On May 24, 2011 |
@afrobaby. Na me you dey call small pikin? . I dey feed your mate for house if you dont know. I dont want to derail this thread. You get luck say today na Tuesday. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by Dyt(f): 10:52am On May 24, 2011 |
Walks in singin i can transform ya |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by delicious1(m): 11:03am On May 24, 2011 |
Because society has made us all to conform. The innocence of Love has been sacrificed on the alter of new media. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by Onchedu(m): 11:06am On May 24, 2011 |
They didn't read as many m&b's (if any) as we do, neither did they pay as much attention to Hollywood as we do. Their ambitions were simple and tailored to be centered around family values & home. They understood better the concept of prioritizing & accepted better that there is a time for everything. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by Onchedu(m): 11:15am On May 24, 2011 |
Society can't do anything to us unless we allow it to. Our parents believed in making it work. They took pride in keeping healthy relationships, we're so liberal we accept divorce even before we become man & wife. Sadder than they are as we are, we still think they are 'old school' & that is supposed to be an offensive description. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by Dsense(m): 12:31pm On May 24, 2011 |
OP. Mentality has varied . . .Unfortunately our females have stepped up |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by Dyt(f): 12:34pm On May 24, 2011 |
N d males v stepped down |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by rully2: 12:53pm On May 24, 2011 |
I guess they were not as open eyed and money conscious as we are right now |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by Dyt(f): 12:59pm On May 24, 2011 |
I wonder y u men all cm ere n den type wit dose ur perforated fingers dat all we gals know its moni y den nt jst mk sm moni enuf of all dese craps abeg mk una go get lyf jor |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by rully2: 1:07pm On May 24, 2011 |
Bin money conscious does not only apply to the ladies, men too are money conscious. its a general thing. A guy wants to get married, he needs to check if the lady's background is well to do and since no guy wants a liability, he would prefer to marry a working lady wit stable income. Girls on the other hand want a secured future. I'm not sure every girl would want to marry a jobless guy or one with very little means of income. Then we have the parents. Most parents pray for their children to marry a fulfilled and accomplished man, so where does that leave those who do not totally match the criteria. Its not one sided, everyone is involved! |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by MrsChima(f): 9:55pm On May 24, 2011 |
Dyt: Unfortunately and sad. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by Nobody: 12:08am On May 25, 2011 |
As per the topic, the type of relationship our parents had back then was not even; women had almost no choice but to stay in a marriage for fear of being ridiculed by the society, given that the stigma of being a single or divorced parent was much more pronounced. And now with the new age of feminism, women have realized that they could be much more than being just a housewife, much more than being just a helper, and much more than being just a spectator; unlike before, they can now be their own bosses and they do not have to subscribe to the norms of society. They want to be accorded the kind of latitude men have historically received by virtue of their gender. It is not easy being a subordinate in a relationship, especially when someone tells you that you were created to be a helper, instead of an equal partner. Women are simply choosing the option they never had, a better one. If men were in their shoes, we would do the same! For those saying that men have stepped down, I beg to differ. The men of today are far better than the men of yesterday. Oh yes we are! Those chivalrous, gentle, prince charming type of men only exist in Disney cartoons and fable stories. Those men of old were completely misogynistic, treated women like garbage, and ruled the world like they were gods. If those men were better, why did women have to fight for equal rights? Anyone who says that men have become worse is not only an id[i]i[/i]ot , but is also not conversant with history. The men of today are tame, absolutely tame, compared to the men of old. Do women think they can actually pull that feminist crap against those men? I laugh in Kungfu-Chinese. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by BABE3: 4:14am On May 25, 2011 |
omo_to_dun: Awe, thou don contradict yaself. At topic: It's because "we" watch too much movies(Hollywood especially). And then "civilization", "Rights", "too much Liberty", "Facebook", "BlackBurry" "2go"--e.t.c all add to the whole thing. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by Nobody: 8:07am On May 25, 2011 |
BABE!: That wasn't a contradiction at all. The first-wave feminist movement began in the 18th century and only a few women had the temerity to stand up for their beliefs as opposed to today when every Jane and Tamika claim to be feminists because they watch Oprah. Before these time---the 18th century---heads would have been rolling; even slaves couldn't get their freedom, how much more women? I am beginning to doubt your intelligence. No wonder you are getting [b]B[/b]s on your literature exams. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by 190: 8:20am On May 25, 2011 |
omo_to_dun your next beer on me For the first time u have spoketh like the trueth son of your father-eth and made probably the most truthfully truth in your lifeth so far |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by Nobody: 8:21am On May 25, 2011 |
Thank you my brother! And thanks for using style to yab me. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by iyatrustee(f): 8:28am On May 25, 2011 |
omo_to_dun: |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by 190: 8:28am On May 25, 2011 |
omo_to_dun:na you start am |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by BABE3: 8:37am On May 25, 2011 |
omo_to_dun: OTD, Why the low-blows now--? It hasn't gotten to that yet~ take chill pills. As for my B, not Bs- --I had a B without studying (a literature exam for that matter). I give myself props abeg. Doubt my intelligence? I'm happy for you. Upon the mini history lesson you gave me, you didn't still convince me that you didn't contradict yourself. When I said contradiction, I wasn't talking about your whole idea in general. I was talking about those two sentences specifically. They really don't make sense together. Take a moment and look at them again. Hopefully. you'll see where I'm coming from. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by Nekai(f): 8:40am On May 25, 2011 |
@OP, I kind of agree. All this long dating and picking and choosing and loooove business is overrated. How many couples break up after dating for years only to marry other people soon thereafter. One of my instructors was an Indian woman that had an arranged marriage. They were happy together, even over 25 years later. She said that they had no unrealistic notions of true love and compatibility, and that family compatibility and prayer played a greater role. Also when divorce isn't something that is an option you can be satisfied with what you have. I'm not pushing arranged marriages but I think that the divorce rate comes from the fact that people these days suffer from chronic dissatisfaction, instead of having an attitude of gratitute. For example, teens often spend years wishing they were older and trying hard to appear more grown up, only to find that being a 'grown up' isn't all pure fun like they imagined and that it would have been better that they enjoyed their youth instead of wasting time coveting something that they couldn't even comprehend. I think life is like that. |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by 190: 8:42am On May 25, 2011 |
Nekai: True True Your next Tampoon on me |
Re: Most Of Our Parents Married Without Courtship But They Luv Themselves More That Us Today. Why? by Nekai(f): 8:48am On May 25, 2011 |
190: |
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