₦airaland Forum

Davash222:
Ask 99.7536% of Nigeria single mothers about the father of their child/ren, this is always their response.

Does it mean they are foolish or blind to open legs for irresponsible men?

When dating a single mom, always remember, her child comes first before you. Also remember, the father of the child has 100% access to her kpekus.

Godspeed to all prospective Single mothers' attendees.

Terrier99:
Joseph wanted to break up with Mary before the Holy Spirit told him not to.

How many single mothers can the Holy Spirit appear to their husbands not to dump them?

lovchalice:
I beg to differ. There are many reaspns why a wpman can judge a man wrongly and later realise her mistake
And its better to walk away baby and all
But it's wrong of you to assume that the woman will still be sleeping with the irresponsible man
Yes their child comes first because they got this children in pains
And they know that they're the only ones that can trulylove these kids
And there's an element of guilt knowing your child will suffer the consequences of your mistakes
And yes i was a single mum

Davash222:
Ask 99.7536% of Nigeria single mothers about the father of their child/ren, this is always their response.

Does it mean they are foolish or blind to open legs for irresponsible men?

When dating a single mom, always remember, her child comes first before you. Also remember, the father of the child has 100% access to her kpekus.

Godspeed to all prospective Single mothers' attendees.

MrBrownJay1:
and so what? the love a mother has for her child is different than the love she has for you? are you saying that your needs will be equal to that of a child (regarding this woman)?! are you saying that you would want to compete with this child for his mother's attention?!



there is ALWAYS a 3rd party in any union, whether it be her mother, her friend, her ex, her siblings or her family. get with the program...


... and so what? do you expect a woman to be depending on you, so that you can manipulate her like a remote toy? any woman in your life can exit at any given time (whether a virgin or single mother), unless you tie her to the bedpost every morning as you leave for work.



... suspect you of what exactly?!?!?

MrBrownJay1:
A) in Nigeria/Africa, it is a well known fact that men frown upon single women. IMHO, it is down to insecurities and misplaced ego but that is a whole different subject for anotherday.

B) why would you care where the loyalty of a mother lays? if you'd viewed that woman as a whole (aka her and her baby) then down the line your loyalty would also be linked to that child. the important question would be: is that the problem you may have OR the baby being a confirmation that some other dude had sex with your possible "woman" before you?

i really dont see where the problem is...

Easy5265:
I experienced all of this. To make matters worse she didn't have a job. I was a fool sha.

jiboladhino:
We guys are hypocrites castigating single mothers , but when it comes to single fathers we have no problem with them dating single girls abi .... Nigerians and double standard

sylve11:
This comment is so so funny.

Gosh, this man must have had it the hard way.

J2381:
Ignore that human.

Whether that story is altered or not, it still speak of the reality many Nigerian men face when it relates with single mothers and how they tend, like aways tend to push the responsibility of raising a child that isn't yours on whoever they're dating.

To me that is very mischievous. It's something I've seen an experience not just once but many times.

In all fairness, a single mother should let it out straight on that she's a single mother if and when she meets a guy who she feels is developing interest in her. Period.

Romanoff:
Yet, if you tell both male and female to stop fornicating, they will come for you.

Many are having premarital sex and children are one of the consequences of premarital sex.

You people frown at people doing abortions but won't marry a single mum or won't abstain from sex.

If your partner gets pregnant for you, na una go first say make she abort am, yet, some of you won't marry a woman who has done abortion before.

Una no see say this premarital sex thing no worth am las las?

MODFIED

Women, from the response my comment is getting, it's safe to say you're on the receiving end.

These guys won't marry you with a child, they won't marry you if they know you've had an abortion or abortions, they won't marry you if post pills mess with your fertility.

Is it not best to close your legs till you get married?

The posts about dating or marrying single mothers should be a deterrent, cause them plenty for Romance section. They will quote Okafor's law for you as a reason to not marry a single mother.

Ladies, close leg o.

AfroKnight:
Parts of the story have been altered cos affected parties might be nairalanders.

A while ago, I met a beautiful woman. She carry front, she carry back. Both in desirable proportions. I got her number and we got talking. We soon advanced to long calls, flirting and risqué jokes. Then she posted a boy on her WhatsApp status one day and the caption rocked me to my foundation. I asked and she confirmed that the little boy was her son. Okay.

“Where is his father?”

“He is not responsible. He is not involved in his son’s life. I take care of him alone.”

“Well, no problem”, I thought to myself. I reminded myself that it is not my dream in life to deal with the complications of raising a son who is not biologically mine, especially one whose father is still very much alive. So, I slowed down. Reduced calls until we drifted apart.

I told a female friend of mine about this and the way she looked at me ehn, I was wondering what I did wrong. She was so disappointed in me for refusing to date a single mother.

Well, I gave that friend of mine a piece of my mind. She had no right to project her concept of right or wrong or even chivalry on me! I am nobody’s saviour. I cannot pick up the responsibilities of another man who is alive and well. It is not only unfair but incredibly unjust to put a man on the spot by letting him find out you have a child after you guys have started flirting and even advanced in the talking stage of a budding relationship. I don dey feel you to the point of starting a serious relationship and I discover this? It is wrong.

And it is even more offensive that you would expect a man to just take it in stride.

Guys do not be shy to refuse if you don’t want.

Some guys are cool with it and that’s fine. If I’m not cool with it, don’t demonise me. It’s my choice.

Share your thoughts please.

BRATISLAVA:
Some prefer to believe lies.

A story clearly concocted to suit your fancy has been raised and so you are an eager participant. Even when you know it's a made up story.

If you see another concocted story that doesn't suit your fancy, it will be a lie to you that men chase after single women a lot and actually marry them.

These fictional situations are concoctions brewed by teens and under 25s trying to express their hate and create a following.

The most complicated bullies who don't know what they really want and aren't all that themselves are single men.

sirblend:
What is "Okafor's law"?

Romanoff:
Yet, if you tell both male and female to stop fornicating, they will come for you.

Many are having premarital sex and children are one of the consequences of premarital sex.

You people frown at people doing abortions but won't marry a single mum or won't abstain from sex.

If your partner gets pregnant for you, na una go first say make she abort am, yet, some of you won't marry a woman who has done abortion before.

Una no see say this premarital sex thing no worth am las las?

MODFIED

Women, from the response my comment is getting, it's safe to say you're on the receiving end.

These guys won't marry you with a child, they won't marry you if they know you've had an abortion or abortions, they won't marry you if post pills mess with your fertility.

Is it not best to close your legs till you get married?

The posts about dating or marrying single mothers should be a deterrent, cause them plenty for Romance section. They will quote Okafor's law for you as a reason to not marry a single mother.

Ladies, close leg o.

Oyin2212:
You're a wise man, God bless you. You've avoided hellfire on earth and may your days be long. Amin.

CHoccolaTE:
I don't know why women get upset when men say they cannot date single moms or marry single moms. It's a fact of life that most be dealt with, sad fact, but fact all the same.

If you are a single mom get enterprising and do your best to provide for your kids or kid.

Men are more selfish than women naturally, a woman can invest her time and emotions in raising the children of a single dad but lailai, men will not do the same. They always put their needs and comfort first.

CHoccolaTE:
I don't know why women get upset when men say they cannot date single moms or marry single moms. It's a fact of life that most be dealt with, sad fact, but fact all the same.

If you are a single mom get enterprising and do your best to provide for your kids or kid.

Men are more selfish than women naturally, a woman can invest her time and emotions in raising the children of a single dad but lailai, men will not do the same. They always put their needs and comfort first.

AfroKnight:
Actually you lack the understanding of what you are writing about. You are so conceited you cannot see the nonsense you’re saying.

adanny01:
Those girls are naive. When i was dating, most girls told me, but in most cases, i suspected before they said it. There was no fix rule or time to say it. Saying it on the first date has proven to jinx the relationship.

In most cases, I was never in need of a serious relationship with those girls that had a child. So when the revelation came, I cared not.

The two that were eligible, one was a virgin when i met her and the other I can swear she wasn't the type.

If you can read people, you will never fail to notice that she gave birth before. Abortion, you will not know, but a child is not easy to hide if you are not carried away.

Unless you don't know how to read a woman.

legallyminded:
@TheGidRedpiller the war against simphood is where we're gaining ground gradually.

Romanoff:
Yet, if you tell both male and female to stop fornicating, they will come for you.

Many are having premarital sex and children are one of the consequences of premarital sex.

You people frown at people doing abortions but won't marry a single mum or won't abstain from sex.

If your partner gets pregnant for you, na una go first say make she abort am, yet, some of you won't marry a woman who has done abortion before.

Una no see say this premarital sex thing no worth am las las?

MODFIED

Women, from the response my comment is getting, it's safe to say you're on the receiving end.

These guys won't marry you with a child, they won't marry you if they know you've had an abortion or abortions, they won't marry you if post pills mess with your fertility.

Is it not best to close your legs till you get married?

The posts about dating or marrying single mothers should be a deterrent, cause them plenty for Romance section. They will quote Okafor's law for you as a reason to not marry a single mother.

Ladies, close leg o.

MrBrownJay1:
many think that, by getting to know her 1st, you may change your views about single mothers, when you finally get to discover that she has a child. dont blame her, blame African society for that, as these women are looked down upon.

AutoChick4U:
Now this is where communication is very important. A single mom who still sees, talks to d baby daddy is a suspect. Besides the lady in this your story is a very dumb fvck.

Many single moms are not in contact with their baby fathers and managing alone just like me. Theres minus zero possibility of such happening in my case anyways

Lollittaa:
ignored

lawkenoz:
Where you say Zero possibility men hear potential possibility? That connection to the child's father is always there whether you choose to use it or not. It's a door and it opens both ways, if you don't use that connection he might decide to use it, and then showing up and causing problems for you and your family when you least expect.

I had no qualms if they were keeping tabs and in communication at first, after all it's his kid and if it was up to me I wouldn't support keeping the kid away from him if he was interested. But she claimed he abandoned the child, and was not in the picture so I thought no communication whatsoever was going on in that regard, I was prepared to deal with that eventuality anyways but still got burned.

Once you have a kid with someone there's always an eternal connection, you might not use it but he might and will eventually, all these complications might not be worth it for a lot of dudes.

I wouldn't call her dumb cuz I have no idea about thier history, all efforts to bring up the matter about their relationship always made her cry and emotional I had to just let it go. Some people are just weak around certain people especially when they share a lot of history and a kid, all sorts of things could go wrong and I wouldn't advice any young man who wants long term peace to go for it.
The potential risk involved isn't worth it....let single dad's and single moms have each other, that's a better deal in my opinion!

luminouz:
Chocolate coloured BS...

theForth:
As how it should be!