Terrier99:


How many single fathers do you see asking the new wife to pay the fees, feed, cloth and be responsible for the upbringing of the children of their Exes?
Try to dey use your brain.

DoggoneDogg:
I can date but I can't marry

NaijirianKing:
The number one trait of a toxic female is one who cannot see their own fault, and is always blameless.

This means that she cannot learn from her mistakes, because according to her, she doesn't make them. It's always everyone else.

One who doesn't acknowledge their mistakes can never learn from them, one who can't learn from their mistakes can never grow. A person who doesn't grow is forever stunted.

This is the biggest red flag of all. Avoid such toxicity.

NaijirianKing:
Hopefully younger women can see the mistakes of giving themselves to unserious men, and begin to respect themselves, and focus on finding a man who will marry them before starting down the road of indiscriminate fornication.

We need a return to traditionalism. Hopefully the younger generation of women can learn from the mistakes of this generation and move accordingly.

debbydams:
not all single mothers tho,we still have some with pride and dignity..it not necessary you take responsibilities of the kid,the kid has bn doinh fine before u came to the picture..not all single mother flirt with their baby daddy..

emsco:
Same reason i broke up with a Nairalander lady.. we are have been doing lovey dovey for about a month. WE got to meet severally and even plan on getting married only for her to tell me she has a son.
I ask why she didn't tell me when we first met but all she said was that shouldn't be a problem..
I had to run for my life, I'm a single guy that is not how I plan to live my life.

adanny01:


For your mind, na you sensible but cannot even read and understand.



Does the above look like people already in a relationship?

Grow up!

Nma3595:
If only our men start taking responsibilities for their actions, we wont have single mums every where. a woman who accepted her mistake and kept the baby is more honorable and well mannered than the man who took off and allowed her bear the shame alone. most guys who talk about single mums are actually the ones who get women pregnant and leave them. Dont crucify any single mum because you dont know her story.

placeofallure:


It's not a disease to be a single mother.

No man should be coerced into taking responsibility of a child who isn't his. Strictly, it should be of his own volition.

People change, total transformation.
Everyone should know that. So, it may not be poor judgement on their part

It's not all the time that a single mother has affiliations still with the baby daddy. Some don't even want to see the men anywhere around them let alone allowing him in the child's life.

Different strokes for different folks.

I am not a single mother but I have a thing for them.

AutoChick4U:
I think I'd make a great mom. I really don't tolerate nonsense in children so you can wallow in your negative reasoning. See all the negatives, concerns me not.

Gamesmart:


Then be a great mom on your own as a single mother if you want to be the only one to discipline your child.

Don't ask for a man to come and step-father by providing only and only the "great mom" can discipline him.

AutoChick4U:
Baba calm down I thought it was a bf and not a husband. Off course my baby's step dad will have every right to discipline her when wrong naw. One person no dey train pikin

Davash222:

Why do you have a thing for single mothers?

placeofallure:


In life, the race is not always to the swift, Time and chance happen to them all.
That's why.

Davash222:

You're one of the few sensible ladies here.

AutoChick4U:
Single dads? Where's d mother of the kids?

mikovo2002:
I am presently dating a single mother, she had never review the father of her son. All she always tell me is that she didn't know the wereabout of her child father. She put her son first. I am just like second fiddle in the house
She even bought a land in the name of her son bearing the child surname. She save her money for towards the upkeep of her child while my money is for us

MrBrownJay1:
the hypocrisy on this subject is that the majority who look down on these women will gladly date/marry Genevieve/Linda or the ex wives of Uncle Jeff (Bezos) and/or baba Bill (Gates)

AfroKnight:
Parts of the story have been altered cos affected parties might be nairalanders.

A while ago, I met a beautiful woman. She carry front, she carry back. Both in desirable proportions. I got her number and we got talking. We soon advanced to long calls, flirting and risqué jokes. Then she posted a boy on her WhatsApp status one day and the caption rocked me to my foundation. I asked and she confirmed that the little boy was her son. Okay.

“Where is his father?”

“He is not responsible. He is not involved in his son’s life. I take care of him alone.”

“Well, no problem”, I thought to myself. I reminded myself that it is not my dream in life to deal with the complications of raising a son who is not biologically mine, especially one whose father is still very much alive. So, I slowed down. Reduced calls until we drifted apart.

I told a female friend of mine about this and the way she looked at me ehn, I was wondering what I did wrong. She was so disappointed in me for refusing to date a single mother.

Well, I gave that friend of mine a piece of my mind. She had no right to project her concept of right or wrong or even chivalry on me! I am nobody’s saviour. I cannot pick up the responsibilities of another man who is alive and well. It is not only unfair but incredibly unjust to put a man on the spot by letting him find out you have a child after you guys have started flirting and even advanced in the talking stage of a budding relationship. I don dey feel you to the point of starting a serious relationship and I discover this? It is wrong.

And it is even more offensive that you would expect a man to just take it in stride.

Guys do not be shy to refuse if you don’t want.

Some guys are cool with it and that’s fine. If I’m not cool with it, don’t demonise me. It’s my choice.

Share your thoughts please.

emsco:
Same reason i broke up with a Nairalander lady.. we are have been doing lovey dovey for about a month. WE got to meet severally and even plan on getting married only for her to tell me she has a son.
I ask why she didn't tell me when we first met but all she said was that shouldn't be a problem..
I had to run for my life, I'm a single guy that is not how I plan to live my life.

lawkenoz:

Most times dead, divorced and remarried! Women will hardly abandon thier offsprings, a select few among the generality of the populace will leave the kids with the man, irresponsible men lead in that regard!

So when you see a single dad isn't it logical for them to be with single dad's who can understand thier circumstance better? Just saying!

Yoighaman:


Dating or getting married to a baby mama issa No-No. Don't care about what anybody says, opinion is a public toilet.

I like your style of writing though. Kudos bro.

Terrier99:


You suppose "konk" am for head.

cococandy:
Instead of answering yes or no to a definition that you created by yourself, you went in a tangential inconsequential rant.

By your own post, the woman slept with an irresponsible man who didn’t wait until marriage to have sex with her. Now I’m asking you, have you ever been an irresponsible man who didn’t wait until marriage to sleep with a woman?
It’s a simple yes or no question.

But we know how it goes. Once y’all’s foolish stance on anything that concerns women is questioned, you start creating hare-brained illogical theories to justify your hypocrisy.
I don’t need to go back and forth with you but by your own definition, if you have had sex with a lady who isn’t your wife, you’re one of the irresponsible men you mentioned.

JayCynic:


Talking of illogic, I've read through the thread and I can't seem to find any statement which suggests that sex outside of marriage makes one irresponsible, what actually makes one irresponsible is carelessly venturing into sex unprotected, knowing full well that the product of it is pregnancy and eventually a baby, as long as one consciously made the decision to be reckless with their sex life, they've made an IRRESPONSIBLE decision and they are irresponsible. No man should carry the responsibility for a woman's and another man's irresponsibility. Fix your shit yourselves. Period.

Victerica:


So sex outside marriage does not make one irresponsible?

Victerica:


So sex outside marriage does not make one irresponsible?

JayCynic:


Sex outside marriage does not make one irresponsible. Recklessness, thoughtlessness, inability to comprehend and act on the possible consequences of your actions is what makes one irresponsible.

lilvicky68:
If the man(father of the child) is still in the picture, Okafor's law comes to mind..

The problem isn't about taking care of another man's child because after marriage you should take the child as yours.. but sharing your wife with another man in the name of baby daddy..