Good day Nairalanders! last week i went to do correction of name in port Harcourt customary court, so after clearing what took me there I decided to visit one of my lawyer friend who's currently working there for the past one year now. So on getting to his office we were discussing when he showed me a hip of file that's about to sign for divorce, I was shocked cause the file I saw was more than 1thousand. I try asking him why all the divorces he couldn't give me genuine answer..
that made me so scared of marriage, because of my curiosity I have to research to get at least a little knowledge why marriages crash so i realized the marriages of this days are base on sight(money, sweet shapes, sexy this and that), husband and wife don't have this agape love for there partner..

let here from the PROs!!

Let me book space first.... I have a lot to say but I no get strength to type, make I find food chop first .

Feminism.

No strength to deal with bs

Many factors are responsible. Some of them are:
- Socio-cultural factors such as diminishing norms and values;
- Economic factors such high rate of unemployment; high inflation rate
- Wrong priorities such as frivolous spending;
- Negative impact of some ideologies such 'feminism'

I know nothing!

Idamond:


Good day Nairalanders! last week i went to do correction of name in port Harcourt customary court, so after clearing what took me there I decided to visit one of my lawyer friend who's currently working there for the past one year now. So on getting to his office we were discussing when he showed me a hip of file that's about to sign for divorce, I was shocked cause the file I saw was more than 1thousand. I try asking him why all the divorces he couldn't give me genuine answer..
that made me so scared of marriage, because of my curiosity I have to research to get at least a little knowledge why marriages crash so i realized the marriages of this days are base on sight(money, sweet shapes, sexy this and that), husband and wife don't have this agape love for there partner..

let here from the PROs!!

I'm no professional, so I'm sorry to disappoint you but you're going to hear from me @ let's hear from the pros

So here's the thing, there's a wide variety of reasons why a marriage ends down the divorce lane, but I'm going to be brief you on the most common causes;

1) Ignored Red flags; I often tell people that earlier in a relationship, the feeling of Love in ones heart clouds the logical reasoning in ones brain. In other words, the reason love is said to be blind is because it tends to make us to overlook the flaws in our partners. These flaws can be that very nimbus that tilts a long term relationship/marriage down the divorce lane, because when the mirage of love fades away, the main question is "can you live with your partners flaws?". Trust me, those flaws are often present earlier in the relationship, they're often glaring; most people choose to deliberately ignore them, some vehemently believe that their partner will change in time as the love waxes stronger, but let me tell you the truth; Any flaw you see in your partner today in your partner will be amplified by a 100 during the course of marriage; be it an anger management issue, a religious inclination (an atheist, agnostic, a fanatic), a spendthrift, a womaniser, a firth, and so on. So the answer is simply a question; if these obvious/ not so obvious flaws are amplified in my partner by a 100, will I be able to stay or will I walk out? This question alone during courtship can make or break a long term relationship


2) Postpartum/Postpregnancy changes; pregnancy is a journey towards motherhood, and childbirth brings about the joy of parenthood, but sometimes, the pregnancy brings about changes in women that Men do not understand. Some adapt to these changes, others can't just cope. A typical example is something will call Postpartum depression in women after child birth. Men should be educated about these things, and that's why I'm a strong advocate of men attending antenatal clinics with their wife especially during the third trimester of pregnancy.

3) The rush to put a ring to it; "my friends are getting married, I have to get married". Marriage is now a competitive sport that everyone's jumping into simply because everyone is doing it. This applies to both the male and female gender. Every weekend, there's a least two of your guys getting married; this puts a subconscious pressure on you, that you rush into it without adequate planning; if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Like all commitments, you should have short term goals, medium term goals, long term goals; a timetable for how you want the ship to sail. Rushing blindly into the river of marriage without having a map to guide you through the navigation of the storm will wreck you in little to no time

4) Modernization of our generation with a tilt towards gender equality and equity; I'll start this on a weird note; Sex. Sex is a primary instinct, and like other social animals, we use sex to bond and procreate. The male social animal has females and their children that flock around him, depending on food, shelter and protection. If a male social animal conquers another male in a fight, that defeated male gives up his territory including his females to the victorious male. This was true in ancient times for the human race too until modernization came into place; the daughters of Eve ate yet from another tree of knowledge of good and evil; a knowledge that's punishes the institution of marriage. The primary instinct of men is to be polygamous in nature (hell no, this is not an excuse for "cheating".. it's just a reality) and the earlier this is recognised by our woke generation, the better this modern contract called marriage will survive. Yes, you heard me right, contract. During the relationship, Always discuss these things; it may sound weird, but in reality, it'll go a long way. If you decide to leave your polygamous nature as a Man, and through self discipline, you want to stick to one partner, then you must discuss this with your partner. If in the long run, you betray your words, then the onus is on you. However, if you as a Man decide to lay with another woman, please do it with caution as the modern generation of women are unforgiving. I repeat, unforgiving. Men have sex to dominate, to release the tension, as sports. Women on the other hand have sex to be dominated, controlled, taken or won over. A man who's having carnal knowledge of another woman will be so furious seeing his wife under another man because his subconscious tells him he has lost

A woman who sees her husband on another woman however feels that that woman has something better to offer than her. Her brain tells her ; what do I lose if I leave this marriage? Will I lose my security if I exit? If she's still dependent on the man, she'll have no reason to leave. So kings, please remember, she has to have the feeling of security from you, and only you. You've to monopolize it. There's no equality in this. The rib will dessicate without the main body, and that's how it's supposed to be. The moment you let her assume a position of equality or its resemblance, it's over.

5) allowing external influences to affect homely decisions can destroy your home. Fights happen, and when internal conflicts are resolved among conflicting couple, bonds gets stronger. External influences tends to weaken marital bonds in the long run


6) lastly, shit happens, people fall out, life happens. At times, don't overthink it. Just take your L in peace


I've a whole lot more to say, but I gatu run.

Cheers.

Gp

Marriage na scam, what the woman will gain,esp whe money is involved.

E be like say na this generation devil tay land successfully

Just because broken marriages and divorces are high in this generation doesn't mean that your ancestors were happily married -- even though they didn't legally divorce, they may have been psychologically divorced

Justbehave:
Feminism.

If you look closer, Feminism is a symptom of a bigger underlying problem

Most feminists are daughters whose moms were abused -- physically, emotionally, and/or financially

wudpeka:
Many factors are responsible. Some of them are:
- Socio-cultural factors such as diminishing norms and values;
- Economic factors such high rate of unemployment; high inflation rate
- Wrong priorities such as frivolous spending;
- Negative impact of some ideologies such 'feminism'

I know nothing!

If you look closer, Feminism is a symptom of a bigger underlying problem

Most feminists are daughters whose moms were abused -- physically, emotionally, and/or financially

bepositive11:


If you look closer, Feminism is a symptom of a bigger underlying problem

Most feminists are daughters whose moms were abused -- physically, emotionally, and/or financially

And they carried such bitter experience and enters another man's house and start misbehaving. No man,I repeat man will take such ill behaviours from his wife. Our ladies here thinks that being a feminist means dragging right with their husbands. Divorce set into such homes because they will never agree together. It is a fact that women of this generation thinks that a real man is only those they can manipulate to do their biddings and once you are not such a man,then they see you as evil and wicked.

Idamond:


let here from the PROs!!

Marriage like any other human relationship has its fault, stop making it look like there is something special. All these nonsense fears ,like is anyone forcing u to get married?thats if u even have the money

Justbehave:
And they carried such bitter experience and enters another man's house and start misbehaving. No man,I repeat man will take such ill behaviours from his wife. Our ladies here thinks that being a feminist means dragging right with their husbands. Divorce set into such homes because they will never agree together. It is a fact that women of this generation thinks that a real man is only those they can manipulate to do their biddings and once you are not such a man,then they see you as evil and wicked.

You sounded like you're married ,lol.so apt you made sense.The worse part is inability to agree over a certain thing.

Justbehave:
And they carried such bitter experience and enters another man's house and start misbehaving. No man,I repeat man will take such ill behaviours from his wife. Our ladies here thinks that being a feminist means dragging right with their husbands. Divorce set into such homes because they will never agree together. It is a fact that women of this generation thinks that a real man is only those they can manipulate to do their biddings and once you are not such a man,then they see you as evil and wicked.

To be honest, toxic people attract each other.

Feminists are toxic regardless of what made them that way, but it's only toxic men who attract and stay with women like that

You may say that people change, but more often than not, people show glimpses of their true colours before marriage but they often get overlooked

Even those so called "good men" are in fact toxic because they don't know how to assert their boundaries. Or they've been blinded by the thought of the woman caring about them because they have low self esteem. These are just a few examples

Toxic people attract each other. Men who attract feminists need to take a look at themselves. They're part of the problem

bepositive11:


To be honest, toxic people attract each other.

Feminists are toxic regardless of what made them that way, but it's only toxic men who attract and stay with women like that

You may say that people change, but more often than not, people show glimpses of their true colours before marriage but they often get overlooked

Even those so called "good men" are in fact toxic because they don't know how to assert their boundaries. Or they've been blinded by the thought of the woman caring about them because they have low self esteem. These are just a few examples

Toxic people attract each other. Men who attract feminists need to take a look at themselves. They're part of the problem

All you wrote is one of the reasons is bad to take relationship advice from a woman.

Justbehave:
All you wrote is one of the reasons is bad to take relationship advice from a woman.

Please stop making generalizations. All men and women are not the same. Some are wise, some are not

I used to be a toxic person myself. It was a hard pill to swallow. It's very easy to blame everyone else but ourselves for things that go wrong in our lives but until we learn how to take responsibility and correct our behaviour, we will keep making the same mistakes

Lack of proper home training from both partners and lack of proper sex education "for most of these people divorced on the ground of adultery and egoistical domination of one spouse over another".

bepositive11:


Please stop making generalizations. All men and women are not the same. Some are wise, some are not

I used to be a toxic person myself. It was a hard pill to swallow. It's very easy to blame everyone else but ourselves for things that go wrong in our lives but until we learn how to take responsibility and correct our behaviour, we will keep making the same mistakes

I agree