@topic
i know this is a very old post but i guess the major reasons have been dealt with save the reasons why many women are single at 30 yrs old,fair enough some might be single through no fault of theirs in which case GOD has a plan for them and it will surely happen,but there are also ladies who are single at 30 now solely through their own faults, its either they are looking for will smith with a fat bank balance,good job and also caring worships her e.t.c there are guys like that but few and far between so he has more girls to choose from,if he now eventually drops you,then the complaints start
there s this weding coming up next week of an uncle of mine in london,the guy had been with a girl for 5/6 yrs plus ,suddenly last year the girl said she cant marry the guy anymore and gave series of excuses,he begged her and even sent ppl to beg her but she didnt budge,luckily for him he met a girl and after 8 months they are engaged and gettn married next week,funny thing is that the ex gf s still single,and the guy she had all her hopes on(we later discovered there was another guy)dumped her and she s now asking the guy if he truely loves the wife to be, imagine what cheek!!

the advice ill give to girls is to have an open mind,dont be all arrogant or look down on any guy,be polite to every guy(we know 99% of nigerian girls are not)theres always a reason why a girl is single at 30 because a girl always,always hs a choice but more often than not they believe he is not up to standard, a friend of mine said she will only marry a guy who is in same family background,whose family is known,aller than her,must be rich,ambitious e.t.c must be a muslim,no ibo or hausa e.t.c guess how old she is going on 27, the day i adviced her to chill out with her preferences she wanted to pounce on me so i shut my mouth from then on

@Topic,i guess it wont be so easy for the ladies.am guessing oooo,i dont know,am not anywhere near 30.
Maybe its cos of a few mistakes they made hereNthere,maybe it was just nothing but rather than jumping into marriage with just any guy cos u want to be married,i guess its better to remain single but happy and fulfilled.

ifyalways:

@Topic,i guess it wont be so easy for the ladies.am guessing oooo,[b]i don't know,am not anywhere near 30.[/b]Maybe its because of a few mistakes they made hereNthere,maybe it was just nothing but rather than jumping into marriage with just any guy because u want to be married,i guess its better to remain single but happy and fulfilled.

How do we know ?

Queenisha:

How do we know ?

@Queenisha ur very funny

@ topic

Marriage isn't compulsory it's a lifestyle choice. But it is also an asset, our world would die out without procreation which is best when it's done within marriage.

It's best to wait for the right kind of partner and be happy than pick the first person that comes along and have it all end in misery.

@malaika you said you are not unhappy, however you piece of prose do come across that way. obviously there is no fire in your union, since you have no interesting story to impart to us. believe me i am not being disrespectful, but when i reach 30, i hope i will be able to stand on the top of the world and shout " I AM A HAPPILY MARRIED MAN". i think thats what a good marriage do to people.

You're very correct.

Queenisha:

How do we know ?

You could be a poster child for dysfunctional kids.

Single life at any age could be fun. It all depends on how one chooses to live. One thing i've realized, early enough fortunately, is to learn to live in the Now and just be happy. NEVER let people make your choices for you, and it is NOT noble to live your life for other people like we are made to believe. It's ok to die for people, if you want, but DO NOT live for them.

[quote author=Queenisha link=topic=678.msg2685525#msg2685525 date=1219288070]
How do we know ?

i know loads of women who married 'jerks' or the first person who proposed just because they were close to 30. It's pathetic really the pressure society puts on unmarried women

Irrespective of sex and/or age, it is better to be single, than to be married to the wrong person, but there are very few things in life that are better than being married to the right spouse (and being single is not one of them). What is the point of it all, if you have no one to share the moments with, the good, the bad and the ugly. Life is much fuller when you have someone to share it with.

Being single at 30 is neither something to be ashamed of, nor is it something to be proud of. It is just what it is - you are single at 30. Every single person should work towards finding the right person, and don't kid yourself that you don't need a partner in life (opposite sex or otherwise). Do not be like the fox in Aesop's fable, who upon failing to find a way to reach grapes hanging high up on a vine, retreated and said: "The grapes are sour anyway!". It is easy to despise what you  have not gotten.

It is a shame how much pressure our society brings to bear on ladies when it comes to marriages. In a way I understand the position of the elderly, since in their time (because of arranged marriages, polygamy, and lesser role of women in society) being single above thirty was a rarity. For younger people, I have no excuse for their behavior. Single ladies should not be criticized for what most likely wasn't of their choosing.

A side issue is that if there are indeed more single ladies than men,  would society not have to accept either 'single women' or polygamy.

Anyways if you are single at 30, don't foolishly rush into a marriage. You will regret it sooner, rather than later, if you marry the wrong person. Keep searching, and improving on what you have to offer to the type of partner you desire. Hopefully life will deal you the right card in the not too distant future.

Society makes women who are not married at 30 seem like outkasts. Just take your time until you find the person that you're compatible with, and you are sure you want to spend the rest of your life with, There is no age limit to marriage, some people marry young, some marry old. As long as you know your partner is right for you, go for it.

It is not about the society only, it more about bilogiocal clock for those who intend to have children. That is the source of the pressure mostly.

;d

where did your dig out this old thread from?

I will be 31 next month and to tell you the truth i am just beginning to enjoy life and enjoying the things i missed out on, what i mean is that i never leaved a wayward life, always faithful and caring in all my relationships and a wife material.I am still that same person but i see life from a clearer view now being a single person at this age.

Thank God my mother is a very understanding person and has advised me to be patient and careful especially at my age, really i don't know why am still single at this age but i know God has a reason for everything, even though i have a lot of admirers, i just seem to always meet the wrong set up of guys, the few times i go into the depressed state is when the feeling comes to me that i need someone to genuinely love me for who i am and not my looks or my money or when i feel like truly talking to someone i feel strongly for and trust but altogether I'm a happy person but feel i can be more fulfilled.

HI MY NAME VICTORSAMSON AM 27 IF U CAN MARRI ME I WILL BE HARP

Ladies, keep your fingers crossed, seek the face of God on this matter and enjoy being single cos marriage is not a bed of roses no matter how much you love each other, how much you have etc.
Marriage is filled with responsibilities.
I'm still Single at 32 but i yearn to get married this year and a lady of 30 will be an ideal choice cos she'll be mature mentally and know exactly what she wants in life.
I know many ladies that got married at 30+ and are enjoying their marriage.
God has plans for us all.
Most jump into marriage because of their age and later begin to regret it.
i used to date a girl who jumped into marriage because she said she was getting old (29+), she left me cos i wasnt rich enough(lived in a one room and parlour BQ, then) she later complained to me that her husband wasnt caring and that she hated her marriage.(the guy bought 2 cars for her o) yet, she says she doesnt enjoy her marriage.
My advice is to ask God for guidiance

biina:

Irrespective of sex and/or age, it is better to be single, than to be married to the wrong person, but there are very few things in life that are better than being married to the right spouse (and being single is not one of them). What is the point of it all, if you have no one to share the moments with, the good, the bad and the ugly. Life is much fuller when you have someone to share it with.

Being single at 30 is neither something to be ashamed of, nor is it something to be proud of. It is just what it is - you are single at 30. Every single person should work towards finding the right person, and don't kid yourself that you don't need a partner in life (opposite sex or otherwise). Do not be like the fox in Aesop's fable, who upon failing to find a way to reach grapes hanging high up on a vine, retreated and said: "The grapes are sour anyway!". It is easy to despise what you have not gotten.

It is a shame how much pressure our society brings to bear on ladies when it comes to marriages. In a way I understand the position of the elderly, since in their time (because of arranged marriages, polygamy, and lesser role of women in society) being single above thirty was a rarity. For younger people, I have no excuse for their behavior. Single ladies should not be criticized for what most likely wasn't of their choosing.

A side issue is that if there are indeed more single ladies than men, would society not have to accept either 'single women' or polygamy.

Anyways if you are single at 30, don't foolishly rush into a marriage. You will regret it sooner, rather than later, if you marry the wrong person. Keep searching, and improving on what you have to offer to the type of partner you desire. Hopefully life will deal you the right card in the not too distant future.

Gbam!!! Sooooooooooo true

didi-t:

I will be 31 next month and to tell you the truth i am just beginning to enjoy life and enjoying the things i missed out on, what i mean is that i never leaved a wayward life, always faithful and caring in all my relationships and a wife material.I am still that same person but i see life from a clearer view now being a single person at this age.

Thank God my mother is a very understanding person and has advised me to be patient and careful especially at my age, really i don't know why am still single at this age but i know God has a reason for everything, even though i have a lot of admirers, i just seem to always meet the wrong set up of guys, the few times i go into the depressed state is when the feeling comes to me that i need someone to genuinely love me for who i am and not my looks or my money or when i feel like truly talking to someone i feel strongly for and trust but altogether I'm a happy person but feel i can be more fulfilled.

Keep ur cool my sista and dont act desperate. Your man is just around the corner. Our good Lord does not sleep u know. You'll soon find a man that'll keep you happy and fulfilled.

For my sistas that are arrogant and proud, u better change ur way, else you may remain the way u are

Enjoy your life at 30 + and make good best of it; no matter ur marital status. The end of something is better than its beginning. It is better to be patient and have the best, than jump into something as a result of pressure from people and later regret it. Good luck

selencious:

Enjoy your life at 30 + and make good best of it; no matter your marital status. The end of something is better than its beginning. It is better to be patient and have the best, than jump into something as a result of pressure from people and later regret it. Good luck

Great advice, how i wish many ladies think that way

OH! God no, not this topic again. Life at 30 when you are not married, so what? Do I need a man next to me to validate my existence

I may have said this somewhere in one of the such topics, never match your life exitence against numbers, its a waste of time. This advice I got from my current colleagues both married females well over 50. I tend to listen better when elderly people speak because they've been here on earth longer than I have.

SA Lady:

OH! God no, not this topic again. Life at 30 when you are not married, so what? Do I need a man next to me to validate my existence

I may have said this somewhere in one of the such topics, never match your life exitence against numbers, its a waste of time. This advice I got from my current colleagues both married females well over 50. I tend to listen better when elderly people speak because they've been here on earth longer than I have.

Full Gbammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

So much has been said already,everybody has a point but one thing I want you all to realize is that getting married is not the main thing but getting married to the right person.I got married when I was almost 26,but now I wished I had stayed a little bit longer cos am married to a monster so to say.He didnt show me all of his character untill we got married,dat is y it is always good to have long courtship.We met 2002 Sept and we got married 2004.Most of those cpourting period,I was in school after which I went for NYSC and afta was d wedding.I didn't really take time to knowing him well enough.I started noticing some bad character in him after our introduction and I was like girl no going back cos the intro was done at Ilu. And it was a big one.So I was like it is not good to put my parents into shame and really I was thinking it is a bad thing to cut off a relationship after Intro.I wish I had known better my fellow Naira landers.I wanted to leave my parents house,wanted to be free and be on my own.I am first of my parents and my younger ones were always getting on my nerves so i was like getting married would be a solution to avoid their insults.Just imagine how immatured how I was.Well u can say I didnt really know wot I wanted or I wasnt exposed and all that.

After the wedding,I noticed that his idea of marriage was quite different from my own,for example he believes he doesnt have to hold me to sleep or face me to sleep.He was always turning his back at me.In short he believes he can do his own thing the way he wants not considering me.He neva wanted togetherness,we neva bonded.hope u are feeling me o.Anyway will continue my story later.Dont want u guys to get bored.I really want you all to learn.

showoff:

So much has been said already,everybody has a point but one thing I want you all to realize is that getting married is not the main thing but getting married to the right person.I got married when I was almost 26,but now I wished I had stayed a little bit longer cos am married to a monster so to say.He didnt show me all of his character untill we got married,dat is y it is always good to have long courtship.We met 2002 Sept and we got married 2004.Most of those cpourting period,I was in school after which I went for NYSC and afta was d wedding.I didn't really take time to knowing him well enough.I started noticing some bad character in him after our introduction and I was like girl no going back cos the intro was done at Ilu. And it was a big one.So I was like it is not good to put my parents into shame and really I was thinking it is a bad thing to cut off a relationship after Intro.I wish I had known better my fellow Naira landers.I wanted to leave my parents house,wanted to be free and be on my own.I am first of my parents and my younger ones were always getting on my nerves so i was like getting married would be a solution to avoid their insults.Just imagine how immatured how I was.Well u can say I didnt really know wot I wanted or I wasnt exposed and all that.

After the wedding,I noticed that his idea of marriage was quite different from my own,for example he believes he doesnt have to hold me to sleep or face me to sleep.He was always turning his back at me.In short he believes he can do his own thing the way he wants not considering me.He neva wanted togetherness,we neva bonded.hope u are feeling me o.Anyway will continue my story later.Dont want u guys to get bored.I really want you all to learn.

pls continue. i am learning.

Like I was saying,we never seem to reason alike,he doesn't see things my own way and I don't see things his own way really his reasoning is very awkward.His thoughts are old school.I could remember one day I woke up in the midnight and was looking at him.I was like is it me that married dis man?How can?U know.When he is wrong he would never agree and say sorry,instead he will be arguing blindly.as in using Ogboju.I have one weakness,which is I dont know how to hide my feelings.I believe wen u offend me or do something wrong,i will tell u strait off.I might go on and on explaining myself until av said everything I have in mind,after which I will feel relieved and he doesn't want to understand that, that is me.Anyway I was like av married him already wot can I do?Let us continue to patch it. He was not caring not to talk of romantic.He doesn't know how to pet a woman.A times i will intentional frown my face u know,like wanting him to show affection and ask me wot is wrong with me,just to pet me,but he doesn't even know whether u are happy or not.No cuddling nothing.Just imagine his insensitivity.Imagine u calling somebody ur hubby,he would neva call to ask me if av gotten to the office or not when i leave home in the morning especially wen it rains.I will be d one calling him most of the times.We had several issues really,like him wanting to travel and not tell me beforehand.he might just tell 2 days to dat time.u know.It got to a point that he would just tell me sori i av an urgent biz call,am on d way am in Ibadan.Well he started behaving like a mafia,as if he is playing games with me.He will tell me he is going to A and A friend mit jst call me not 4 amebo sake.How are you?I saw ur hubby at another location and I asked him to greet u.hope he delivered my msg,u know.And he would not want me to challenge him.He keeps late night and he doesnt want me to complain.He will want to make love with me and he will never want to do pre-intimacy.U know.To be continued

showoff:

Like I was saying,we never seem to reason alike,he doesn't see things my own way and I don't see things his own way really his reasoning is very awkward.His thoughts are old school.I could remember one day I woke up in the midnight and was looking at him.I was like is it me that married dis man?How can?U know.When he is wrong he would never agree and say sorry,instead he will be arguing blindly.as in using Ogboju.I have one weakness,which is I dont know how to hide my feelings.I believe wen u offend me or do something wrong,i will tell u strait off.I might go on and on explaining myself until av said everything I have in mind,after which I will feel relieved and he doesn't want to understand that, that is me.Anyway I was like av married him already wot can I do?Let us continue to patch it. He was not caring not to talk of romantic.He doesn't know how to pet a woman.A times i will intentional frown my face u know,like wanting him to show affection and ask me wot is wrong with me,just to pet me,but he doesn't even know whether u are happy or not.No cuddling nothing.Just imagine his insensitivity.Imagine u calling somebody your hubby,he would neva call to ask me if av gotten to the office or not when i leave home in the morning especially wen it rains.I will be d one calling him most of the times.We had several issues really,like him wanting to travel and not tell me beforehand.he might just tell 2 days to dat time.u know.It got to a point that he would just tell me sori i av an urgent biz call,am on d way am in Ibadan.Well he started behaving like a mafia,as if he is playing games with me.He will tell me he is going to A and A friend mit jst call me not 4 amebo sake.How are you?I saw your hubby at another location and I asked him to greet u.hope he delivered my msg,u know.And he would not want me to challenge him.He keeps late night and he doesnt want me to complain.He will want to make love with me and he will never want to do pre-intimacy.U know.To be continued

hmmmmmmmmn!!! really on the other side. I feel your pains

At this age panic begins to set in for countless number of women.

Marriage, Marriage Marriage ! Why are we so worried?

There is something about the number 30 that strikes fear into any woman hoping to get married. The fear of negligence and sense of desperacy from men.

Your 20's are about test driving your emotions, test driving men and defining self. The adjectives used to define Mr. Right at 20 generally include smart, tall, fun, handsome, ambitious, great car and awesome in bed.  At twenty, a year is a very long time and for most women, the person she is at 20 is drastically different the woman she becomes by 30.

By 30, Mr. Right grows up, puts on a few pounds and has better things to do with his time than drink beer, work out and live just for the moment. Now at 30 you  realize substance exceeds aesthetics and a guy with six-pack abs usually spends too much time in the gym and too little time involved in the world around him.

The new adjectives now reflect your own maturity and  include more concrete ideals such as integrity, a passion for living, principles, goal-oriented, considerate and loving.   By thirty, you realize it’s not whether you want him, it’s whether he wants you. At thirty you sometimes forget what year it is because time now goes by so fast.

Here is the good news if you're in your 30's and still waiting,
Of course no amount of maturity stops the panic.  If you're still single you begin to wonder if there is something wrong with you.  Why is it so many women who are not attractive, smart or funny seem to have no problem finding Mr. Right?  Don't men like women with brains, looks, a sense of humor and well honed maternal instincts?  If so, where are they!

In truth, your Mr. Right is probably thinking the same thing about you.  Where are you?  It's hard to believe, but there is actually a shortage of healthy, mentally-sound, non-addicted, heterosexual thirty-something females looking to get married. Once you reach 35, male or female, only 50% of the dating pool is healthy.  Healthy means no addictions, mental diseases or other impediments to a successful relationship.

In conclusion, if you're still single, live life to the fullest. Enjoy your designer stuff and go out the more. Attend social gathering and put on more friendly smile.  Use your initiative and don't allow your pastor to hook you up with someone. You're too precious for that (you're a peculiar person to God). Never go into a relationship with a brother that went to his pastor b4 coming to you. Adam chose his wife without help from no one. Let the lucky person be attracted to you without sentiment or share of pity.

God bless

The society make it horrible for ladies at 30 >

bee444:

Marriage, Marriage Marriage ! Why are we so worried?

There is something about the number 30 that strikes fear into any woman hoping to get married. The fear of negligence and sense of desperacy from men.

Your 20's are about test driving your emotions, test driving men and defining self. The adjectives used to define Mr. Right at 20 generally include smart, tall, fun, handsome, ambitious, great car and awesome in bed. At twenty, a year is a very long time and for most women, the person she is at 20 is drastically different the woman she becomes by 30.

By 30, Mr. Right grows up, puts on a few pounds and has better things to do with his time than drink beer, work out and live just for the moment. Now at 30 you realize substance exceeds aesthetics and a guy with six-pack abs usually spends too much time in the gym and too little time involved in the world around him.

The new adjectives now reflect your own maturity and include more concrete ideals such as integrity, a passion for living, principles, goal-oriented, considerate and loving. By thirty, you realize it’s not whether you want him, it’s whether he wants you. At thirty you sometimes forget what year it is because time now goes by so fast.

Here is the good news if you're in your 30's and still waiting,
Of course no amount of maturity stops the panic. If you're still single you begin to wonder if there is something wrong with you. Why is it so many women who are not attractive, smart or funny seem to have no problem finding Mr. Right? Don't men like women with brains, looks, a sense of humor and well honed maternal instincts? If so, where are they!

In truth, your Mr. Right is probably thinking the same thing about you. Where are you? It's hard to believe, but there is actually a shortage of healthy, mentally-sound, non-addicted, heterosexual thirty-something females looking to get married. Once you reach 35, male or female, only 50% of the dating pool is healthy. Healthy means no addictions, mental diseases or other impediments to a successful relationship.

In conclusion, if you're still single, live life to the fullest. Enjoy your designer stuff and go out the more. Attend social gathering and put on more friendly smile. Use your initiative and don't allow your pastor to hook you up with someone. You're too precious for that (you're a peculiar person to God). Never go into a relationship with a brother that went to his pastor b4 coming to you. Adam chose his wife without help from no one. Let the lucky person be attracted to you without sentiment or share of pity.

God bless

Ahhhhhh! where have you been all my life. You are an emoticon with a light bulp above his head. Stay as smart as you are,