AGONIES OF MONOGAMY AGAINST POLYGAMY

by Chief Tola Adeniyi, a former MD of Daily Times.

Society must rethink this issue of pretentious monogamy vis-à-vis polygamy so that in the not-too-distant future we do not end up with millions of unmarried women whose life style would be worse than prostitutes’ and millions of children whose fathers would be nowhere to be found.

The article is designed to expose the hypocrisy and pain associated with embracing false notions which are really not observed by any culture in the world, and to advise those who erroneously sentence themselves to a life of sadness and emptiness because they were deceived to believe that there is some utopia somewhere called monogamy.

I am very much aware that this article will generate a lot of controversy most especially from those who live holier-than-thou life and have continued to deceive the world that they are upholders of a doctrine that is not supported by true and enlightened interpretation of any religious doctrine.

My Greek, Italian, Russian, British, American and other Caucasians routinely visit their other wives [called by other names] with whom they have children. But back in the homes shared with the one carrying the ring, they are monogamists!
If God had wanted humanity to be monogamous He would not have made the pigeon the only monogamous creature. The cultures that practice polygamy had always known that at any given time, the number of available marriageable women far out number available men plus the fact that an 80-year-old man, if he has money, is still very much in the market whereas a 60-year-old woman may not be that lucky. The biological limitation to a woman’s productive age is also a factor. Why should a woman therefore remain on the shelf till age 45 when she could jolly well get married as second or fourth wife to a man *who can afford to share life’s responsibilities with her*? Why should a woman leave a man with whom she is No 1, simply because he took a second wife and end up being numberless in the hands of several men with whom she naturally shares bed just because of some doctrine she hardly understands?

All the women who should go and marry but are saying they do not want to share their man with another woman in a polygamous setting, are sharing current boyfriends with several other women. Where is the logic?

The argument that children in a polygamous house are always at each other’s throat does not hold water. Many siblings of monogamous families are sometimes known to have had worse and irresolvable or irreconcilable squabbles with dirty bitterness over inheritance or even other matters than children from different mothers.

The agony suffered by both men and women in the hand of unnatural laws and doctrines is too stifling for comfort. In 2002, five hundred and two Reverend mothers were reported to have died while procuring abortion in Rome (alone). Nigerian Tribune wrote an editorial on the unfortunate incident. And stories of Reverend fathers having children and sodomising young men in their care are legion! Why the hypocrisy? Why should the world continue to live the life of Ostrich?

A well known Nigerian journalist hide his other wives from his wife because his religion would not permit of it and his wife, living in monogamy should not hear of it. At his funeral service programmes, 9 wives surfaced and the woman parading the ring collapsed. It was the grace of God that prevented double internment that day!

Mitterrand, the former French president was discovered to have side attachment with 2 kids after he died. Meanwhile French laws restrict man to only one wife. Arnold Schwarzenegger who was married to JF Kennedy's sister had a troubling home. He disclosed to the wife that the male child the former house maid was carrying about was actually his son. That day the Kennedy lady did not sleep in that house. She parked out of the house that night with her 3 kids. She cannot tolerate to share her husband with another woman. She is there with no other man.

So, over to those whose opinion is hinged on whatever reason to rethink. This is becoming a wild fire that will leave no home in no distant time.

Oga it's your choice whether or not you want to be polygamous...

Everyone wants to have their cakes and eat them too.
Na una sabi.

Would the author of this write up be happy to share his wife with her male admirers outside? If yes then his write up is fair, if no, then he is madd. Married women have admirers, but a good wife should try and overcome temptations, same as a married man should overcome temptations. Very soon, we will hear news about how a side chick stabbed the foolish author and emptied his bank account, non*sense.

LordFaraday:

Why should a woman leave a man with whom she is No 1, simply because he took a second wife. She cannot tolerate to share her husband with another woman. She is there with no other man.

LilMissFavvy:
Would the author of this write up be happy to share his wife with her male admirers outside? If yes then his write up is fair, if no, then he is madd. Married women have admirers, but a good wife should try and overcome temptations, same as a married man should overcome temptations. Very soon, we will hear news about how a side chick stabbed the foolish author and emptied his bank account, non*sense.

The reason why a man has the right to marry another wife and not the woman is cos a man is the head of the house whether you like it or not. Man hunt for babes, man marry the woman, man pay bride price, man is expected to take care of the home, secure the home, run the home, work hard and keep the home too. Give those rights to a woman and see how it turns out. If you can try been a man for a day then you’d understand.
Men will always hunt, have kids and won’t want their names forgotten, but women don’t care.
Man is polygamous in nature, but most men like to live in denial. Any man that tells you he controls himself, look deep and you’ll find he has a gf or a side chick somewhere.

No man has the right to marry another wife, unless he had informed his wife during courtship that he will practice polygamy, so that she chooses if she wants such, majority of ladies would of course quit. Husband and wife are builders of the home, though I accept that a man leads, being the one who leads dosen't mean he has the right to make decisions that will affect his wife negatively. You are polygamous in nature, speak for yourself alone, some are decent.

sameoldguy:


The reason why a man has the right to marry another wife and not the woman is cos a man is the head of the house whether you like it or not. Man hunt for babes, man marry the woman, man pay bride price, man is expected to take care of the home, secure the home, run the home, work hard and keep the home too. Give those rights to a woman and see how it turns out. If you can try been a man for a day then you’d understand.
Men will always hunt, have kids and won’t want their names forgotten, but women don’t care.
Man is polygamous in nature, but most men like to live in denial. Any man that tells you he controls himself, look deep and you’ll find he has a gf or a side chick somewhere.

sameoldguy:


The reason why a man has the right to marry another wife and not the woman is cos a man is the head of the house whether you like it or not. Man hunt for babes, man marry the woman, man pay bride price, man is expected to take care of the home, secure the home, run the home, work hard and keep the home too. Give those rights to a woman and see how it turns out. If you can try been a man for a day then you’d understand.
Men will always hunt, have kids and won’t want their names forgotten, but women don’t care.
Man is polygamous in nature, but most men like to live in denial. Any man that tells you he controls himself, look deep and you’ll find he has a gf or a side chick somewhere.

I'm not polygamous in nature. Those that claim they are, are just looking for varieties, if you understand what I mean. And there's no sense in that because yoruba adage says 'oju la n do, Bleep o ya to'.

LilMissFavvy:
Would the author of this write up be happy to share his wife with her male admirers outside? If yes then his write up is fair, if no, then he is madd. Married women have admirers, but a good wife should try and overcome temptations, same as a married man should overcome temptations. Very soon, we will hear news about how a side chick stabbed the foolish author and emptied his bank account, non*sense.

You think polygamy for a man & woman is same?

Polygamy not adultery (without kids) where either party chops & clean mouth to maintain the 'monogamous' front?

@OP:

Moot article.

There is nothing stopping people who want to practice polygamy in Nigeria today from doing so.

The idea that polygamy stops or curbs adultery is false: Alhajis with ten wives is still sampling small girls at UNILAG.

Married women are still side chicks to married and single men.

The very process of polygamy is adultery but let's not even go there.

I don't have problems with polygamy oooo but what I have to say is that Shebi its the penis that'll rise for another woman other than his wife that will be looking forward to go polygamous but what if e no dy rise for any other woman nko?only the few of us who tie our wrappers to the right knows what I'm talking about. You can debate on this for all I care.Iyaebe have spoken.

Iyaebe:
I don't have problems with polygamy oooo but what I have to say is that Shebi its the penis that'll rise for another woman other than his wife that will be looking forward to go polygamous but what if e no dy rise for any other woman nko? you can debate on this for all I care.Iyaebe have spoken.

Iyaebe fun ara e!

bukatyne:

Iyaebe fun ara e!

lol eka ro omo mi

Exactly!

Because it's becoming a norm these days that women have other side guys outside their homes.

Why should these same laws restrict women from having other partners? They shouldn't be allowed to suffer agony in the hand of the unnatural laws when they feel the need to have several other partners.

So, a man can have like three or four other wives, whilenthe wife can have like 2 to 4 other husbands.

Polygamy sounds a lot better than baby mamas, single parents, and divorced people. If that's what it takes to put more people in functional households, why not?

LilMissFavvy:
No man has the right to marry another wife, unless he had informed his wife during courtship that he will practice polygamy, so that she chooses if she wants such, majority of ladies would of course quit. Husband and wife are builders of the home, though I accept that a man leads, being the one who leads dosen't mean he has the right to make decisions that will affect his wife negatively. You are polygamous in nature, speak for yourself alone, some are decent.

I am not speaking for myself. Like I said, men are polygamous in nature, only a man who wants to deceive you or stay monogamous cos of what people would say are the “decent ones”.

babajeje123:

I'm not polygamous in nature. Those that claim they are, are just looking for varieties, if you understand what I mean. And there's no sense in that because yoruba adage says 'oju la n do, Bleep o ya to'.

are you married yet sir? If Yes, then please answer this question. Do you see yourself looking at other women’s body in a sexual way and wished you had her? Forget decency and say the truth

sameoldguy:
are you married yet sir? If Yes, then please answer this question. Do you see yourself looking at other women’s body in a sexual way and wished you had her? Forget decency and say the truth

Married for 9 years, my wife has what other women have and much more. So the truth is I haven't caught myself looking lustfully at other women.

babajeje123:

Married for 9 years, my wife has what other women have and much more. So the truth is I haven't caught myself looking lustfully at other women.

Ok

How many Nigerian men (especially those not of the faiths that allows many wives) truly wants to marry more than wife and have more children in today's Nigeria?

Many would prefer to be married to one wife and still have sexual relationships with other wonen without the commitment of marriage to those women. Do they really want more wives associated with more kids or yearn for more sexual partners for chop and clean mouth?

Iyaebe:
I don't have problems with polygamy oooo but what I have to say is that Shebi its the penis that'll rise for another woman other than his wife that will be looking forward to go polygamous but what if e no dy rise for any other woman nko?only the few of us who tie our wrappers to the right knows what I'm talking about. You can debate on this for all I care.Iyaebe have spoken.

Going traditional.

I don't see any benefits of poligamy. In poor countries perpetuate the cycle of poverty. A lot of children who born in poverty and poor conditions

What are the benefits of polygamy? It brings unnecessary and avoidable jealousy and rivalry. It takes away a man's peace as you are always having scores to settle between the wives and children. It multiplies your problems, one wife one problem, multiple wives multiple problems. Your responsibilities increase geometrically and so you work your ass off to meet with financial obligations, this may reduce your life span as a result of stress. These are some of the benefits, it worth trying though.

Those that say they are polygamous in nature are those that can't control their dicks and lack contentment with what their wives have.

Iyaebe:
I don't have problems with polygamy oooo but what I have to say is that [b]Shebi its the penis that'll rise for another woman other than his wife that will be looking forward to go polygamous but what if e no dy rise for any other woman nko?[/b]only the few of us who tie our wrappers to the right knows what I'm talking about. You can debate on this for all I care.Iyaebe have spoken.

Small small madam o

Sure it's not by force. But the modern society and d western world so much discouraged polygamy as if it's an evil practice and making monogamy a good practice

Oga it's your choice whether or not you want to be polygamous...

The advocates of polygamy often start their argument with pretense as if they cared about unmarried women (they do not need your concern) and children born out of wedlock (in the 21st century where unwanted pregnancies can be prevented or these children still raised decently).

It's funny though because monogamy benefits men a lot but keep dreaming your wet dreams of harems.

In polygamous societies too many of you will end up without one woman.

I am really amazed when I see women comparing themselves with men. There are lots
of differences between the two. Anatomical, mentally and emotionally. We are all human but we ain't the same at all. Women can compare themselves with other women and men can compare themselves with other men

LilMissFavvy:
Would the author of this write up be happy to share his wife with her male admirers outside? If yes then his write up is fair, if no, then he is madd. Married women have admirers, but a good wife should try and overcome temptations, same as a married man should overcome temptations. Very soon, we will hear news about how a side chick stabbed the foolish author and emptied his bank account, non*sense.

I can't see anywhere in my write up where I compared men with women. What caught my attention was the way the author sounds, like every woman is supposed to accept polygamy. Don't deceive yourself thinking that some women would not wish to have a taste of other men, vice versa. Self discipline is what is needed. Or Is that too difficult to understand? That was why I asked if he can bear to share his wife.

LordFaraday:
I am really amazed when I see women comparing themselves with men. There are lots
of differences between the two. Anatomical, mentally and emotionally. We are all human but we ain't the same at all. Women can compare themselves with other women and men can compare themselves with other men

No. Not every woman are supposed to accept polygamy. Yes there are some women with very high libido can't blame them for that.

LilMissFavvy:
I can't see anywhere in my write up where I compared men with women. What caught my attention was the way the author sounds, like every woman is supposed to accept polygamy. Don't deceive yourself thinking that some women would not wish to have a taste of other men, vice versa. Self discipline is what is needed. Or Is that too difficult to understand? That was why I asked if he can bear to share his wife.

And we've heard reports about some men that shares there wives I think they call them swindlers.

LordFaraday:
No. Not every woman are supposed to accept polygamy. Yes there are some women with very high libido can't blame them for that.