I had a sleepless night,I’ve been trying so much not to see a big deal in what happened between my boyfriend and I last night but the more I tried my best on it the more my mind continue telling me it’s a red flag.

The relationship is just five months and we’ve been good since then,he lives in another state,though just an hour drive to my place,we don’t see frequently but that isn’t a problem cause we are both always busy with business. He’s caring,jovial and also someone who will always tell me “look babe,this is the problem between us ,and can we iron it out instead of you giving me cold attitude?” ,he’s a very understanding guy,he do assist me financially ,not that I am a liability,but helps me with my business and I do help him also,in fact I love lending him money cause he will always pay me back in triple folds.

Three days ago,he told me he will be attending a wedding engagement that very day,it was very unusual of him ,cause he do tell me about all his movements but this particular one sounded impromptu,he apologised and said all his friends were around and he dont want to disappoint them. We talked on video call and I sensed everything was good. Few minutes to 9pm ,I messaged him and he told me they were still in town (at a bar) drinking and that he won’t be going home anytime soon that I should go to bed and sleep. He snapped a picture of what they were drinking and sent me,I saw one bottle of malt with straw and immediately I sensed a woman was with them. Initially,he told me it was just four of them on the table,all boys,I put it straight to him that a woman was with him ,he said no and I told him who drank malt amoung them,it was then he said a girlfriend to one of his friends,I smiled and sent him goodnight.
He replied the message with “do you think I am cheating?” I replied “who am I to know what exactly you are doing outside by this time? Good night boo”” I switched off my phone and slept off. Note-this is the first time I will ever think of it that he is having another affair.

Yesterday was Saturday and he told me he will be attending the church wedding and reception,we talked on video call again and he was updating me about his movements from church to reception and from reception to bar again with his friends. He said he will be staying late again that I may go to bed if I want to sleep, I told him “ humm,shaa maa rora” it means “humm ,just be careful” immediately he replied with
“do you think I have a woman here today again?
If Naa when I still dey bear my name (his name) you met me,walahi you go don shout tire.
I go don Bleep one of your friends self “
I was very shocked but I managed to type really,and he replied with “yes,you for don collect and I no go leave you self, but I am calm now,so put your mind at rest and don’t think I am cheating “
I was very heartbroken,though he sounded like he was actually playing,I’ve been trying to erase my mind off it and see it as a joke but at the same time my mind has be telling me it was a clear red flag since a cheat will always remain one

Experience guys,what do you think about this situation?

If I say you should leave him now..

Who would be supporting you financially??

Hanty he wasn't bragging, he only told u what he used to do in time past, and he did that politely and also to assure u that he's not that person anymore.

Guys who easily open about their past are sincere.

What about u don't u have a past? How many of ur past/body counts have u told him? Can u be bold Enough to tell him about it?NO..!!

No go put fire wey u no go fit calm,

Relax and enjoy your relationship, no dey form saint because u ain't...

lilvicky68:
If I say you should leave him now..

Who would be supporting you financially??

Like I said earlier,I have my own work,I am a business woman,I can feed and clothes myself without stress

lilvicky68:
If I say you should leave him now..

Who would be supporting you financially??

Must you loud it

AdesewaAde:
I had a sleepless night,I’ve been trying so much not to see a big deal in what happened between my boyfriend and I last night but the more I tried my best on it the more my mind continue telling me it’s a red flag.

The relationship is just five months and we’ve been good since then,he lives in another state,though just an hour drive to my place,we don’t see frequently but that isn’t a problem cause we are both always busy with business. He’s caring,jovial and also someone who will always tell me “look babe,this is the problem between us ,and can we iron it out instead of you giving me cold attitude?” ,he’s a very understanding guy,he do assist me financially ,not that I am a liability,but helps me with my business and I do help him also,in fact I love lending him money cause he will always pay me back in triple folds.

Three days ago,he told me he will be attending a wedding engagement that very day,it was very unusual of him ,cause he do tell me about all his movements but this particular one sounded impromptu,he apologised and said all his friends were around and he dont want to disappoint them. We talked on video call and I sensed everything was good. Few minutes to 9pm ,I messaged him and he told me they were still in town (at a bar) drinking and that he won’t be going home anytime soon that I should go to bed and sleep. He snapped a picture of what they were drinking and sent me,I saw one bottle of malt with straw and immediately I sensed a woman was with them. Initially,he told me it was just four of them on the table,all boys,I put it straight to him that a woman was with him ,he said no and I told him who drank malt amoung them,it was then he said a girlfriend to one of his friends,I smiled and sent him goodnight.
He replied the message with “do you think I am cheating?” I replied “who am I to know what exactly you are doing outside by this time? Good night boo”” I switched off my phone and slept off. Note-this is the first time I will ever think of it that he is having another affair.

Yesterday was Saturday and he told me he will be attending the church wedding and reception,we talked on video call again and he was updating me about his movements from church to reception and from reception to bar again with his friends. He said he will be staying late again that I may go to bed if I want to sleep, I told him “ humm,shaa maa rora” it means “humm ,just be careful” immediately he replied with
“do you think I have a woman here today again?
If Naa when I still dey bear my name (his name) you met me,walahi you go don shout tire.
I go don Bleep one of your friends self “
I was very shocked but I managed to type really,and he replied with “yes,you for don collect and I no go leave you self, but I am calm now,so put your mind at rest and don’t think I am cheating “
I was very heartbroken,though he sounded like he was actually playing,I’ve been trying to erase my mind off it and see it as a joke but at the same time my mind has be telling me it was a clear red flag since a cheat will always remain one

Experience guys, what do you think about this situation?

He doesn't sound like he is cheating. I don't believe he is.
He sounds like he is testing your tolerance for cheating (just in case) so he can gauge the consequences. Seems when he was the cheating type he was used to ladies that "shout tire" so perhaps he is trying to draw out a reaction beyond "hmm, just be careful"

Have you been having this feeling of unease before now or it just began?

AdesewaAde:


Like I said earlier,I have my own work,I am a business woman,I can feed and clothes myself without stress

Na so una dey talk

You can't have peace with a woman in your life, be it gf, wife, mother or sister.

Men without women in their life live longer and die achieving greatness.

From everything you said, am not trying to judge you but you need to chill. I mean the way you’re tackling the guy is just too much. Cut him a slack Biko! Guys drink malt too.
I don’t drink alcohol, it’s got to be wine or soft drink and that includes malt or I take just water and watch drunks do their thing. That’s not enough ground to say he is cheating, you are only telling him he would have cut ties with his friends if he marries you for peace to rain.

Shokoloko:


He doesn't sound like he is cheating. I dont believe he is.
He sounds like he is testing your tolerance for cheating (just in case) so he can gauge the consequences. Seems when he was the cheating type he was used to ladies that "shout tire" so perhaps he is trying to draw out a reaction beyond "hmm, just be careful"

Have you been having this feeling of unease before now or it just began?

Thanks a lot
The feeling started two days ago,this is my first time of suspecting that he is cheating

raymondhillmimi:
From everything you said, am not trying to judge you but you need to chill. I mean the way you’re tackling the guy is just too much. Cut him a slack Biko! Guys drink malt too.
I don’t drink alcohol, it’s got to be wine or soft drink and that includes malt or I take just water and watch drunks do their thing. That’s not enough ground to say he is cheating, you are only telling him he would have cut ties with his friends if he marries you for peace to rain.

Hummm
I got this clearly

Ur own self dey ur body. So, a man can't hang out with his male friends and their gfs in peace, just because he is dating u? Haba! I don't blame u, i blamed him for being too sincere with u. People like u don't deserve a good man. U deserve a deceitful man.

lilvicky68:

Na so una dey talk

If I am jobless,I will tell you I am
I think I have a post here on NL where I said I don’t have a job then

In that case, its too early to suspect. And if you do suspect, please its too early to voice your suspicion.

Tone down the detective thing You have money of your own; you sound like a young smart lady.

If he is a cheat it will show up a little later.

I'm foreign
I don't understand

AdesewaAde:

If I am jobless,I will tell you I am
I think I have a post here on NL where I said I don’t have a job then

Women always need financial support whether jobless or jobful

Shokoloko:
In that case, its too early to suspect. And if you do suspect, please its too early to voice your suspicion.

Tone down the detective thing You have money of your own; you sound like a young smart lady.

If he is a cheat it will show up a little later.

ok o

lilvicky68:

Women always need financial support whether jobless or jobful

You know spending your man’s money taste different

Truvelisback:
Ur own self dey ur body. So, a man can't hang out with his male friends and their gfs in peace, just because he is dating u? Haba! I don't blame u, i blamed him for being too sincere with u. People like u don't deserve a good man. U deserve a deceitful man.

Sorry eh

lilvicky68:

Women always need financial support whether jobless or jobful

On the contrary, a lot of mothers are actually the breadwinners. Women are not taught to voice out when they own property.
Long ago, I had a colleague who was shyly accepting congratulations for the car her husband bought, until the car dealer came to the bank to cash the last balance of her cheque and it bounced.

lilvicky68:

Women always need financial support whether jobless or jobful

Bro, you get wahala oo, you sha dey threaten the lady

Shokoloko:

On the contrary, a lot of mothers are actually the breadwinners. Women are not taught to voice out when they own property.
Long ago, I had a colleague who was shyly accepting congratulations for the car her husband bought, until the car dealer came to the bank to cash the last balance of her cheque and it bounced.

Women are breadwinners when the men are not..
And once the man takes his responsibility back.. the same women start asking for financial assistance from the men..

So it's right to say women always need financial assistance whether jobless or jobful..

Na hide- and -seek , the two of una dey play so.

PUSSYHOE:
You can't have peace with a woman in your life, be it gf, wife, mother or sister.

Men without women in their life live longer and die achieving greatness.

I feel you pain
use this akon song dey calm
Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody for my own
Oh, I'm so lonely
I'm Mr. Lonely
I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody for my own
Oh, I'm so lonely

awesonjr:

I feel you pain
use this akon song dey calm
Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody for my own
Oh, I'm so lonely
I'm Mr. Lonely
I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody for my own
Oh, I'm so lonely

Lmao

Shokoloko:

On the contrary, a lot of mothers are actually the breadwinners. Women are not taught to voice out when they own property.
Long ago, I had a colleague who was shyly accepting congratulations for the car her husband bought, until the car dealer came to the bank to cash the last balance of her cheque and it bounced.

No be ole alot na harlot. Only very few women are.

awesonjr:

I feel you pain
use this akon song dey calm
Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody for my own
Oh, I'm so lonely
I'm Mr. Lonely
I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody for my own
Oh, I'm so lonely

I am not in pain.

PUSSYHOE:
You can't have peace with a woman in your life, be it gf, wife, mother or sister.

Men without women in their life live longer and die achieving greatness.

Olohun

If you say so

PUSSYHOE:


I am not in pain.

PUSSYHOE:

I am not in pain.

but u are lonely

So why did he lie at first that it was just him and the guys?

Olumighty123:


Bro, you get wahala oo, you sha dey threaten the lady

He isn’t threatening me,he is entitled to his own opinion