@ poster,
     It's painful when you think somebody is painting your life with the brightest  colour of love , they pretend they care but they've nothing to offfer ,but are highly intrested in there selfish interest ,  but you are commited and give all it takes to love.
    There is nothing new beneath the sky , keep it all to yourself , don't allow any rat to smell and never do as if you know anything ,deny yourself of allowing the power of love waxing stronger in you to avoid heart break ,you've to  prepare your mind for it. Do things to make  him find the relationship more intresting for him , but caution your own emotion and make him do those he promised he will do.
     Then dance  to the tone of his piano  and if he needs you ,he will stay and if he doesn't let him go , your destiny is not in his hands.

You have to be very careful in dealing with this issue. Honestly most men are trickish. I can not conclude whether he really wants to marry you or the other girl. I would suggest you confront him.

Like olababe said, he might fooling the other girl and not you.

secondly, Since he has introduced you to his mother, have you been visiting his mum? Did you notice any changes from his mum?

I still suggest you hear from the guy. Be bold enough to ask him. By now you should know when he is telling you the truth and when he is not. If you are convinced he is fooling you, end the relationship and move on. It is not the end of the world ok.

Fly,
Carefully play along with her. Get all you want to get from him. There is a level of committment he will make in you, he will not be able to go back. If you confront him now, he will accuse of infidelity and all worth not. If he demand for sex, give it to him whole heartedly. You can even be the one to ask for it, but u know what u have in mind and where u are going.
If u have gotten most of what u want, if he calls it a quit, you will not loose.

Thank you all.

@poster,
use your head!

You can get what you want from him only if he loves you. I believe what you should be doing now is to be visiting the guy's parents as often as you can. I'm telling you, once you root urself in the hearts of his parents and brothers and sisters, you are in a better position than the other girl. You will not be in the position to fight again, his own people will fight for you. I could remember years back when my brother brought a certain girl and introduced her to us as a wife to be, but as things went on, he saw another girl and was trying to marry this new girl. So, the former girl who is now his wife used to visit my mum, helping her in some domestic works, filling my packet with some cash and I declared my support for her. The day the new girl came with my brother, my mother was at home discussing with some women who came to see her, and this new girl greeted them. These women who had already knew the former girl pretended as if they didn't hear the greeting of this new girl charged against her. Can't you greet? Who are you by the way? But I greeted, said the girl. when did you greet us now? You mean we don't have ears again? Look let today be the last you will come here, our son has somebody he wants to marry etc. That's settle everything. They were looking for any opportunity to state their position, and they did just that. So, make his people your own people. With their people on your side, the guy can't go against you. That's the secret.

ebos:

You can get what you want from him only if he loves you. I believe what you should be doing now is to be visiting the guy's parents as often as you can. I'm telling you, once you root yourself in the hearts of his parents and brothers and sisters, you are in a better position than the other girl. You will not be in the position to fight again, his own people will fight for you. I could remember years back when my brother brought a certain girl and introduced her to us as a wife to be, but as things went on, he saw another girl and was trying to marry this new girl. So, the former girl who is now his wife used to visit my mum, helping her in some domestic works, filling my packet with some cash and I declared my support for her. The day the new girl came with my brother, my mother was at home discussing with some women who came to see her, and this new girl greeted them. These women who had already knew the former girl pretended as if they didn't hear the greeting of this new girl charged against her. Can't you greet? Who are you by the way? But I greeted, said the girl. when did you greet us now? You mean we don't have ears again? Look let today be the last you will come here, our son has somebody he wants to marry etc. That's settle everything. They were looking for any opportunity to state their position, and they did just that. So, make his people your own people. With their people on your side, the guy can't go against you. That's the secret.

Abeg what are you saying? This can't be applied for everyone.

FlyLyde:

We would like to make it clear at this juncture that FLY only happens to be the friend through whose email the trick message was sent and whose profile is been used by the original poster whom though is a Nairaland user would like to keep her identity private. You would do well to not crucify FLY asking questions like 'why are you talking about marriage at eighteen' of which I don't even consider an 18 yr old too young to know what they really want in life. Thank you all. We believe that we will no longer see replies questioning the age of the poster who is old enough to do what YOU do!

What I'd advice you to do, is to take your cool. I tell you, if this guy is really in love you, he'd come for you. If not, tarry and enjoy yourself, discovering yourself. While he flirts, you might even get to know that afterall, you twop weren't made for each other.

I happen to fall in to suc categories. My date left for school, but before she left, we had a beef. This continued for more than six months. Although I tarried, she didn't even care. Then a txt message came one day, that she misses me. It fell on dumb ears and she got angry.

Suddenly, fireballs started travelling either ways and at the end, we had to reslove that we weren't made for each other. I just couldn't go out with a girl with such pride and lack of attitude.

Mine is a different story, but you can still draw experience from any story.

Just take your time to think and make decisive decisions.

Know that you must know first, then you like then you love. have you gone through this process? reflect

ebos:

You can get what you want from him only if he loves you. I believe what you should be doing now is to be visiting the guy's parents as often as you can. I'm telling you, once you root yourself in the hearts of his parents and brothers and sisters, you are in a better position than the other girl. You will not be in the position to fight again, his own people will fight for you. I could remember years back when my brother brought a certain girl and introduced her to us as a wife to be, but as things went on, he saw another girl and was trying to marry this new girl. So, the former girl who is now his wife used to visit my mum, helping her in some domestic works, filling my packet with some cash and I declared my support for her. The day the new girl came with my brother, my mother was at home discussing with some women who came to see her, and this new girl greeted them. These women who had already knew the former girl pretended as if they didn't hear the greeting of this new girl charged against her. Can't you greet? Who are you by the way? But I greeted, said the girl. when did you greet us now? You mean we don't have ears again? Look let today be the last you will come here, our son has somebody he wants to marry etc. That's settle everything. They were looking for any opportunity to state their position, and they did just that. So, make his people your own people. With their people on your side, the guy can't go against you. That's the secret.

this may or may not work. There have also been instances where the girlfriend was loved by the family- she cooked, cleaned, visited, stayed weekends ( even when the boyfriend wasnt home), went the whole hog. The mother pushed the girl's case, but the guy still married someone else anyway. A guy will marry who his heart desires, in most instances. It depends on the person.

i have to disagree with seun

play along, but of course if someone comes along who is better dump him quick. Play along and by God's grace if u make it to the US, and get ur green card and or work permit, let him go quick quick. at 18 u should start thinking about ur future adn if it means coming to the US, and establishing ur self then do it. what he is doing is very wrong. and no one will look down on u for what u did, once htey know hte whole story

Better let him continue the plans for you to travel then upon getting there let him know that you know about his games then leave

The fact that he would ask to meet your family gave you false hopes which is malicious.

Btw people, not everyone is telling the truth about their ages on Nairaland.

@TOH
You and your big grammar sef ! I tire o sweetheart !

MAYBE HE LOST INTREST IN YOU OR YOU DID SOMETHING HE DIDNT LIKE

move on and forget the guy. He's obviously enjoying the ride.

Your dignity should be your elite priority, and i say end this "relationship" you have with this guy.

DO NOT continue with the games. If it's just the US thing you have in mind, let me tell you this: The US is extremely overated. Its not just about getting there, a lot of things come into play that determine how your stay in the US ends up looking like. You might even end up being more miserable in the US compared to the happy life you had back home. And please, don't think I'm just some ignorant person who doesn't know what he's talking about, I'v seen a lot of situations to back this statement up.

Like a previous poster in this thread said: If it's God's will that you get to the US, you will. And when that time comes, the process will be so slick that you wouldn't even know when you've reached the place. You definitely wouldn't have to go through some lowlife who makes you compromise your own self-worth.

With all that said, staying with him is not the way. End it as soon as you can.

Leave him and don't let the idea of green card and schooling in the US fool you.

Dont bother playing games, life is too short for pranks, move on your still very young, why are you bent on marrying now?

Besides if you check well you'll find out that he has probably been with the other girl for years, like he says you are a crush. The other girl has probably been through thick and think with him, maybe thats why she say she will always be faithful.

Believe it girl your a sidekick to him.
Time to gather yourself and move on.
Try having some fun and get the idea of marriage out of your system for now.

girl, lets be frank wit u. i know u've read so many replies but first and foremost hav u asked urself wat u really want
1. in a relatioship
2.ur spouse
3.in life.
this will help you make up u mind . these are questions that only you can sincerely answer.
well from wat i read i feel u are still too young for such commitment,then ur emphasy on travelling and schooling abroad gets me to doubt even ur own intention towards him. are u sure that if he provides u with all these and u r in the states u no go tire for am.see my girl, na two way thing. make up ur mind on wat u want now and wat ur desires are.if na the opportunity of travelin, then play the fool but if na true love then open ur mouth to talk so that if its not gonna work out between the two of u, u can get wounded now while the cut no go deep so as to heal.
but all thesame, games no dey pay because if hes also playing games wit u i wonder who go win and who go lose. i dont want u too lose oh because the truth is that it is easier for the chick too lose especially if him dey straff you. abi wetin remain again after that. DIGNITY YA TE PI KE NAN.
P:S in all things shine ur eyes.

oh no

first and foremost i will also like to know at wat age u are going thru all this.
secondly make sure u dont let him get u as u are getting tru with his lies or else he will also look foe a gam plan to nail u and u will fall for him over again
thirdly if things like infidelity is arising and u guys are not in the country together then pls dump him. dont make urself cheap a better and responsible guy will always come ur and also pls try to make a life worth living without a guy building it for u.
so many women that are from poor backgrounds have made it real big so make out or work out good life for urself in this country
stop believing u cant make anytin good for urself in this country
if u cant make it in nigeria trust u cant make it over there too
have self dignity and let men respect you
leave him b4 he leaves u
be the pro of the game

If u really thinK about it, it is the American Visa u are in love with and not the Guy. That is the problem with Nigerian girls they hear a guy is from abroad and they just fall for him not knowing that there are richer, better guys in Nigeria even if not rich, they have potentials nobody knows the future u know.

Get totally rid of the guy and pretend he has EVER ever existed and pray to GOd. U have a very bright future America or no AMERICA.

CHEERS

Hey girl,

Try as much as you can to make sure the guy take you to the US of A and Finger his left eye after getting to the state u hear me?

Hi Fly,
I understand your predicament. But one thing i need you to understand is that there is more to life than a green card. I understand that everyone just one to live the American dream but you never can tell what is in future for you. A better thing might just be waiting for you in future that you will look back at today and thank God. Like seun said, there are traffickers out there.Do not trust anyone.
I love America so much that wish i were a citizen. But my girl, your pride as a woman shouldn't be toyed with OK

SEUN SORRY ABOUT UR PRESENT CONDITION WITH YOUR SO-CALLED MAN,WELL I HAVE AFEW ADVICE TO LEND YOU,IF YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE PLAY ALONG LET HIM FINISH HELPING YOU ATLEAST THAT WILL GET YOU SOMEWHERE WHEN HE FINALY DUMPS, YOU SORRY ABOUT MY LANGUAGE,BUT THATS THE TRUTH BABY GURL,SINCE HE WANTS TO PLAY WITH UR HEART LET HIM KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE NIGER GIRL.
SAMUEL.

all 4 green card?

@poster, play along until u get what u want.men cheat all the time i geuss he still loves u, maybe he wants to play around with the other lady and my dear he will tell her anytin to keep gettin into her pant that does not mean he loves u less.

I think all he's trying to say is in milder terms 'you is the fall-back-chick' or in stronger terms 'you is a sideline ho'. You should take the hint and leave him, so long to all your pain and heartache. He's may be the first but he ain't gon' be the last man in your life. You've still got a whole life to live.

I can bet the girl is getting more confused. Nairaland is fast becoming a confusion centre although i pray not.

confront the guy, tell him what u know, save urself ur pride & dignity. who knows it might result to what u want but even if it dosn't, ur heart will always be justified and his would be questioning.

Go girl

Guys like that would like to take something or ideas of such to entice the interested, but two things here you brought out , one: THE LOVE FOR THE GUY and two: THE TRAVEL TO US.

listen, many will take this as an opportunity and it wil work out well for them, but to some reverse might turn out to be the case, but all the same,

for me i won't play long with him on that level , reason that his promise might not really be purely genuine, because he's being practical doing it,
My advice to you is to one: pray so you don't make a costly mistake and two: think about your believe but if you've got something at hand, use it .

the old say,"what your hands can do can never decieve you"

for me that's it

People,

I guess i was a little dissapointed at some of the responses i read up till i saw Seun's response on this topic. I wonder why people think she can fake loving him asnd just tag along with the plan all in the name of getting a GREEN CARD.

Young lady, if you love your life you will flee now that you still have the time. Like Seun adviced, it doesn't have to be loud and rowdy - you can break up with him amicably and move on with your life.

My only worry is that you sound like you have given the GREEN CARD gist a thought and now you are caught in a web of indecision. In summary, its purely your call - the decision is yours to make.

Kind regards

We can give all the advice we deem fit but its up to you to make a decision, If you really are 18,then chances are that you're the one being played.I suggest you wait for him to come back, show him all the evidences you have been able to gather and see his reaction.
As for playing along,i totally disagree,theres no telling what will happen if you do.Just remain positive,whats yours will come to you.
God bless you.

GUY,U PPLE ASTONISHED ME,HOW CAN U GUYS TELL HER TO PLAY ALONE WITH A GUY LIKE THAT,WHY NOT TELL HER TO DO THE RIGHT TIN THAT ENDIN IT NOW B4 ITS TO LATE ,THERE IS REALLY NO NEED 4 HER 2 DO THAT OK,SO PLZZZZZZZZZZ,THE GUY MIGHT WANT 2 GET BACK @ HER WEH SHE GETS THERE OK,SO HONEY U CAN MAKE EVEN WITHOUT THAT GUY U WILL STILL TRAVEL IF U REALLY WAN 2