Good day nairalanders,
There is this thing I have come to see recently and if you care to know why,it is the issue of getting pressured to get married.I have seen most young people getting undue pressures from friends,family and even church people begin to look at you like "When will it be,we are expecting your invitation soon',I personally don't think it is right pressuring people to go into marriage,I honestly think that the issue of marriage is basically optional.

I am not saying that marriage is bad,but making it look like an 'achievement' or that something is wrong with you when you are not married or thinking in that direction is most times wrong.

It is because of some of these pressures has made some persons get into marriages that they are unhappy being into today,because they want to belong to the married crew,they want to look or belong to a class,or just because they want to please some people whom may not even be there to know how far after the marriage .

Yes,marry if you can but don't let it be because you are pressured to do so,and don't allow yourself to be seen as a failure if you are not married, it is not an achievement I repeat it is not an achievement.

Plan your life,get a clear direction of your purpose,be open to relationships but be discreet,pray and be on the look out also for a potential mate that will work with you to achieve both of your purposes together, remember marriage is for a lifetime, don't be deceived to go into what you may regret tomorrow, calm down.

whether I'm getting married or not
I don't know..
What I know is I will get my ass off this nation by God grace before I think about having a child...
I think that's the best way to help my unborn kids from this no-love/no-joy country..

Marriage is quite overrated imo, infact in many cases its evil and lots of people would remain healthy and alive if they'd remained single and have a child or two with some guy/lady. It's a black market 'cause someone you courted and you think you know for years might/( infact understandably) actually be pretending. Ain't that scary?

Poor men will always complain about marriage why Rich folks don't complain . men are the problem especially Nigerian men. Tueh!

orohbiro:
Poor men will always complain about marriage why Rich folks don't complain . men are the problem especially Nigerian men. Tueh!

All these still won't bring back your lost body counts

That was how I and my friend went to drink at a beer parlor one day and at a nearby table two other guys in their mid 30’s were discussing loudly. One was yabbing his friend about his single status etc saying he should have gotten married and children by his age etc. that without kids he isn’t a real man. That children are the legacy a man can ever have before his death etc the discussion was so funny I had to chip in.

I asked the married one that (heaven forbid) what if his friend married a wrong woman to live with him unhappily for years and couldn’t escape without divorce? What if he marries a good woman but he gives birth to a child that was a spawn of devil who committed atrocities, always had police problems and drags the family name in the mud at every opportunity? What if their kid was an slowpoke? What of those parents who raised and trained their kid till nysc level only for untimely death to snatch the child away at that moment? Would all these unfortunate happenings make your friend to become ‘less than a man or a man without a legacy’?

The married one continued defending himself saying that a child is a must before he can regard any guy as a man. That if a guy didn’t have a kid to feed that he would not respect such a man etc. I then asked him one last question...

I told him I have a nephew who is 17 years old in secondary school still under his parents but unfortunately got a girl pregnant and she gave birth to a kid. Now that kid is 2 years old and lives with the mom and her family but on some occasions they bring the kid to visit the fathers family. If you see the kid he’s a replica of the father from head to toe. I asked him that according to what he’s telling his friend he will consider that young guy as a real man and relegate his friend to a lesser man just because the teenager was able to have an erection and have sex without protection at a certain time in his life?

The guy was just staring at me lol

I told him good legacies are not always kids because kids can make or mar you. Some devilish kids even kill their parents knowingly or otherwise. Legacies are things which a man does and he is remembered for like inventing or creating new and revolutionary stuff, doing positive humanitarian works, living a wholesome life that everyone can see and commend.

Let’s face it a bad marriage or kid can ruin a mans life. For example if mark zuckerberg on Facebook had a bad kid and he later passes away the child can run the Facebook empire into the ground just a few years later. Or if I as a father had a terrible son he could go into my files and take my C of O to a landed property and sell it off for peanuts at my back for whatever reason he likes.

Marriage is not a do or die affair. Kids are not proper legacies of a man. Michael Jackson was the greatest musician of our century who was married and has kids but today nobody remembers his wife nor kids for anything except blowing his cash

Micheal Jackson’s legacy will live on but apparently not in his wife, kids or through his marriage.

Davash222:

All these still won't bring back your lost body counts

were big goat get out!

Davash222:

All these still won't bring back your lost body counts

big goat get out!