If you are not a shy type, feel free to mail me here; micklplus@yahoo.com

Mind you, I am happily married so, I aint trying to toast you.

Yer right!

you just happen to be a happily married complete gentleman who specializes in rescuing damsels in distress.

violent:

Yer right!

you just happen to be a happily married complete gentleman who specializes in rescuing damsels in distress.

In as much as it is not a good thing to date someone who previously dated your sister, but this guy has been coming out clean. You heard about your sister from him and he even told your sister that you guys are presently dating, he never hid anything from either of you. To me, dude might be sincere but just a victim of circumstance. Its your call, so if you are comfortable with him just keep dating him. I wish you luck

Marriage will invariably come with its own challenges . I advise you to run from the obvious problems now. In as much as it might seem irrelevant now , such an act will forever haunt you. We are Africans, some other races condone such on the basis of love. However good or bad our own tribes/races are not at that level of free love yet -THANK God.
The gentleman who told you this might even be giving a very good excuse to part from you , and i will say good for him. Take the opportunity to cut your loss and move on.
Good and sensible decision keeps us , i not based on some lousy premise of nebulous love. What if he slept with your mum , will you think twice?
Another good guy with no shameful baggage will come along , hold on to your family , it is worth every sacrifice . You will need the family they will always be there if adversity comes- God forbid.
GOD WILL STRENGTHEN YOU .

Nigerians eh . . . We can like to pretend! What the heck is so special about the fact that the guy once slept with your younger sister? Is she not a woman? Is it because he told you? What of they both connived to lie to you? isn't that what your own sister wanted? The man even respected you enough to tell you before committing yourselves to each other.

Abeg don't let irrelevant things stop you from living your life jor.

@violent, u are truly violent!!! Ur violence is indescribable. LOL.

@190, nor mind violent jor. Lol

I SEE THE ROMANCE.

BUT PLEASE, WHERE IS THE DRAMA?

am lost

Firstly, seek the face of God b/4 you take a final decision on this issue, I quite agree with some posters/commentators that it is hard to stomach and could be an emotional drain, BUT there is nothing new under the sun, even in the bible,Jacob was married to Leah who is a sister to his wife(Pls. correct me if I'm wrong) A prominent First class Oba in Yorubaland impregnated and married the wife's younger sister,yet nothing happened.And I'm sure most of those who do not agree with you marrying the guy are from that prominent town in Yorubaland.It is difficult to find a woman who divorced her husband because the man has been misbehaving with her younger sister.(especially if the man is well to do)They will cover it up and life goes on, so, what are we talking about here.

^^^

If Jacob did it, does it make it right?

@jerri,
I appreciate and see the reasons why all these guys are telling you to dump your guy.My contribution will be in this form.I want to ask you certain questions.
(1).How serious is this guy?For me ,i believe that for him coming out to tell you about his relationship with your sister before yours with him commencing shows sincerity on his part.He might be serious aabout you.Every man including all these guys saying all sorts have failing in their lives.The whole idea of him sleeping with ur sister has left a bitter taste for you or your family members but if you are serious that the guy has changed and will never go back to eat his poo, u can give him a chance.In regards to your sister and her opposition,it clearly shows that she has ill feelings for the guy and maybe didnt like the way their relationship ended and wants to take a revenge out on you and your guy.
My take on this is for you to assess the guy very well.If u believe that the guy has really opened up to you, confess and you can extract sincerity from him, please go ahead and damn your sister cos she is living her life already.He shouldnt control your decisions and her previous act should be a basis for evaluation of your decision not the reason for taking what ever decision you wanna take.Ultimately,it a naughty situation you are in and i dont envy you but pray seriously about it and i wish you all the best in what ever decision you will take .

omg! i thought nigerians are cultured.

i am also happily married and 50 year old. i am telling you from exprience that this guy does not luv you at all, if he does why is he going to tell you that he has slept with your sister? he was trying to tell you that he does not need you; forget those that are saying because he is honest and telling you that he only slept with ur sister once cannot be true. if you go for this man he would certaily break ur heart because he has no moral values by sleeping with ur sister. another thing you should consider is that your sister did not want you to marry her because she knows the type of behaviour he has. what you may not know is that may be he has promised to marry ur sister and he dissapointed her. about ur family, who frowns at ur relationship, there are things they know about this boy that you you may not know so be careful look for another man. most importantly,  if you want to have a peaceful and lasting marriage repent of your sins, accept christ as your lord and saviour and be born again and you would find a good christian brother that would marry you

I disagree with a lot of opinions in here. Your story does not indicate in anyway that the dude does not love you. Yes he had some kind of brief relationship with your sister and as a result your sis doesn't approve of your relationship. But that isn't a big deal. Your sister is married, and is living her life. This is your own life, yours to live and enjoy. If you love this guy and he loves you, go ahead with it. Forget your sister's misgivings. She did not seek your approval to date her husband or to marry him. She made her choice and supposedly forsook all others, including your current.

You should be matured enough to handle a relationship by now. You should know that there should be some seperation btw your relationship and your family. You should tell your sister to mind her business and her marriage. It is your life. You will be the one to live with whoever you choose not your family. You will also be the one to suffer loneliness or pain if you made the wrong choice.

So my dear, choose based on whether the guy is the one for you, not what your family feels or who has slept with who. We all have pasts. Thats why its called a past. Focus on the present and the future.

@poster.
Dont mind these piple telling you about quiting, the truth is i have even done it when i was younger and adventurous ''though not proud of it today'' , but if i have mind of telling you the truth then you must be very special.
I will try and create a mental pics from my own scenerio, i am dying for elder sis one who was proving hard to get until i began to doubt if things will out between us.
Younger sister seduces me until i snap, mine was two or three times but found out she is a flirt. So, i have to move on.
Elder sis relaxes, and younger sis was mad wit elder sis becous she came back for more Bleep and was denied.
So, if he got the bolls to tell you the truth, then just accept it.
What if he didt tell you, or what if you had heard the gist from someone else.

Jeri dear,

I believe your mind's made up. All this extra gist is meant to confuse you. Am free and searching, alongside other cool dudes I know.
Reach me on tomapatricks@yahoo.com, there is always a man out there for you. That is, if you don't over paly your hard to get game again.

CHEERS!

Only Dogs return to their vomit

Bad enough you returning to your vomit who now doubles as your sister's vomit

.

.

Jerri:

I sincerely thank you for this response, that was my same thought when he told me, I wish he told me on phone before I went home, I guess things will have been a lot different. But truth be told, I appreciate him for coming out to tell me. My sister was mad @ him for saying anything at all. 2007 was the first time they met after we all left to different locations in 1996. She met him at a wedding, walked up to him, they exchanged #s and it so happened that they made out one nite few days after their meeting. Last year was the first time they met after the incidence,

They only made out . I don't believe that. With all the fuss your sister is making, and your guy feeling the need to mention a relationship with your sister, I think there are half truths. Either way, it doesnt even matter.

,

.

.

Tiana155:

Think about FAMILY VALUE. He has slept with your sister is a lifetime-stigma, that will always be at the back of your mind whelther you like it or not, even though you said you stil love him. And if you want to go ahead with him just because you are in a desperate need to have a man in your life. FAMILY VALUE is very important. Dont let your man cause pain between you and your sister, find a way to make peace with your sister and listen to her. Goodluck.

Tiana, family values will live on, but trust me am tired of this desperate tag, I am not!

Akainzo:

@jmaine, thanks for the sense of maturity.

@OP, the world doesn't end because someone you love once had a tryst with a relative or a close friend. Yes it is hard to stomach and could be an emotional drain, but once you accept that your love for him is greater, things can only lead to more happiness.
Nothing says the two of them would get back together again and nothing says they wouldn't, but all the same he loves you enough to open up to you, and that can only be because he truly and genuinely loves you.

The choice is yours but make it sensibly.

True talk, thanks

.

deniyor:

I disagree with a lot of opinions in here. Your story does not indicate in anyway that the dude does not love you. Yes he had some kind of brief relationship with your sister and as a result your sis doesn't approve of your relationship. But that isn't a big deal. Your sister is married, and is living her life. This is your own life, yours to live and enjoy. If you love this guy and he loves you, go ahead with it. Forget your sister's misgivings. She did not seek your approval to date her husband or to marry him. She made her choice and supposedly forsook all others, including your current.

You should be matured enough to handle a relationship by now. You should know that there should be some seperation btw your relationship and your family. You should tell your sister to mind her business and her marriage. It is your life. You will be the one to live with whoever you choose not your family. You will also be the one to suffer loneliness or pain if you made the wrong choice.

So my dear, choose based on whether the guy is the one for you, not what your family feels or who has slept with who. We all have pasts. Thats why its called a past. Focus on the present and the future.

Thank you!

[b]Listen, your sister is a cheat any day. She wants the guy and what she did is an eye opener to you. If the guy is mean and bad, he would have hidden this issue from you and continued his act with your sister. But this became a burden and the only way he could erase it from his mind if he truly loves you was to make it open.  Yes he betrayed you but it was your sister who betrayed you most. Yes, your family matters most but your sister's attitude is nothing to write home about. If she can betray you, she can as well kill you if she has her way. You see, you are a treat to her now and you should be careful 'cos her present attitude will go a long way to fore warn you to be careful with her. Esau and Jacob in the bible were blood brothers but Esau killed Jacob. When devil has sown a seed of discord within the family through your sister, there is nothing you can do than to be careful and run from her because she has been taken over by the devil. Even if you ended up not marring this guy of yours, if you get a new one, keep him away from her and disclose this issue to any other guy in your life. Always be open with your new person with this issue. That is what this guy in question did by letting you know of this secreet. The guilt kept him away. He is better than the devil you don't know. No 2 perfect people on the face of the entire world. Why I am saying this is because what happened to you is an eye opener and a blessing in time to come, not to trust anybody around rather trust yourself alone but give people a chance and also watch them.Be quick to see, but less to talk.
Be careful. If you still want to marry the guy, if you are in Nigerian take him to the synagogue church of all nations or go there yourself and find out from God, if the man is your true husband. Tell God to give you your own husband. Even when you go there, this issue will be resolved and your family re-united.
What possessed your sister is an evil spirit and only deliverance will see her through and bring her out of this mess. She is possessed. Seek the help of God in choosing who to marry. The taste of friendship is not the taste of marriage.  I love your courage. From your explanation and write-up, you are a beautiful woman inside and any man worth his onion would want to have you. But note, devil do not go to where there will not be any peace. Devil must have known that this Youngman will be the perfect man on earth for you and has sown this bad seed through your sister. If actually you want this guy, luck yourself in your inner room, put yourself unclothed in the presence of God and cry to him and ask God questions and tell him that if this man belongs to you, He should show you signs that will make this marriage hold or brake,  God said, He will have Mercy on whom He wants to have Mercy on. It is out of grace we are saved and alive. Dear, you should note that you are a beautiful woman and at 30yrs, you are not old and I have seen that you are not desperate and some people mentioned here. Love is all about understanding. People should not choose a husband for you, rather you ONLY must choose one for yourself. I wish you the best and pray to God to see you through. It may look rough now, but I know that God will see you through. It is better that things are happening now than when you have already sealed your marriage. Goodluck [/b]

violent:

Yer right!

you just happen to be a happily married complete gentleman who specializes in rescuing damsels in distress.

You guys wont kill me with laughter ooo. ha ha ha ha ha ha

I think you will go with this guy, you have obviously made up your mind and believe him to be a sincere person. Its a big deal that he has been with your sister but thats life. He couldnt have forseen the future that u will end up together neither could you. Your sister is now happily married and you say this is the kind of man you have alwys prayed for the rest is history.

Quick Question: Where is ti written in the bible that "thou shall not marry you sister's ex?"

If it is not, where do people get this idea from that is an absolute taboo to marry your sister's ex?

I am sorry, but that is pretty dumb. He is an ex. Don't you have ex's too? So what if he did not tell you and you never know till you die, will that make you love him less or have a bad marriage?

Anyone could have been his ex, it just happened to be your sister.

beejaei:

Quick Question: Where is ti written in the bible that "thou shall not marry you sister's ex?"

If it is not, where do people get this idea from that is an absolute taboo to marry your sister's ex?

I am sorry, but that is pretty dumb. He is an ex. Don't you have ex's too? So what if he did not tell you and you never know till you die, will that make you love him less or have a bad marriage?

Anyone could have been his ex, it just happened to be your sister.

Duh!. . .it doesn't have to be in the Bible to be right or wrong,  . .for instance, there's no part of the bible that forbids having séx with children, you just don't do it, why? cos it's wrong plain and simple!!!!

I happen to have experienced dating an ex's  close friend; even though initially they were both cool about it, things soon turned sour, today, they are far from being best of friends, and I feel terrible being the ásshole at the center of it all. . .it gets a lot uglier if two sisters are involved!

there are far too many guys out there, why make things a lot more complicated for yourself and your sister?  cos of love? screw that shyt!. . . .

<<<<<+>>>>>>