Hello everyone...I'm in dire need of your critical and honest opinions. It is going to be a long read, I deeply apologize in advance.

My relationship of about four years ended a week ago and the circumstances surrounding the break up were highly unforeseen, everything happened too quickly.

So my boyfriend and I have been together for about four years, we were very intentional about each other. Our love was a very deep one, we connected on a lot of levels, shared mutual friends, I know his family and he knows some of mine and we hardly had issues save for the usual petty squabbles which we resolved ASAP.

But the whole trouble started less than 3 weeks ago. We had our usual conversations the Sunday preceeding the week everything went downhill, everything was absolutely well between us. By the following Monday evening, I tried reaching out to him to catch up on how his day went, he didn't answer his phone. I chatted him up but his response was very unlike him. I thought he was just stressed from work and would get back to himself in no time.

However, he failed to do as I expected and I became very worried and disturbed, this was already going to 2 weeks. I had to call him up one night and asked him to tell me what ever the problem is, I honestly felt he was going through some deep stuff. He later got in touch with me and promised to come by my place the next day so he could explain himself in person.

He came as promised, he appeared very gloomy and was far from his normal self. We got talking in his car, he kept saying he doesn't understand himself anymore and he messed up badly this time around.

He dropped the news that he had something with another girl in that space of less than two weeks. He said it was going to be an innocent hangout but he can't even tell how everything went down eventually, the girl later slept over at his place.
He broke down in tears, told me that he couldn't stand the guilt of what he did, didnt want to drag me into the mess and that was why he couldn't bring himself to talk to me or act like nothing happened.

There's a more disturbing side to what he later told me. He said he had what seemed like a spiritual attack in the middle of the night. Apparently, the girl was in the house when it happened (he stays in the house alone). According to him, the inverter in the house went off and he left the room where they were together to sleep in one of the sitting areas in the house because of heat. He was asleep when he sensed something very heavy and unusual, he opened his eyes and right in front of him was a dark, tall and hairy creature. The thing kept staring at him and he felt being drained, couldn't move or say a word till it walked away. He was completely scared, he summoned strength, stood up , ran into another room and made some frantic calls to their church priests and they prayed with him. He insisted it wasn't a dream, that he was wide awake when he saw what he saw. He also added that he looked into the room the girl was sleeping, she was still asleep and most likely didn't know what happened to him.

He told me he hasn't been himself since that experience and would genuinely not have told me anything but he has been really scared.
I got really worried at this point and had ask who the girl is. He finally opened up that he met her last year, they chatted for a while but they somehow lost contacts since last year, only for them to reconnect not too long ago this year, hence, the initial hangout. I asked how well he knows her but he broke down again and said he barely knows her, doesn't know her school or anything.

I was completely heartbroken and wondered how he could soil four years in less than 2 weeks. We cried together and he pleaded with me, that I have done nothing but loved and stood by him throughout the years.
At that point to be honest, I was pained but I was less concerned about the fact that he cheated on me, I was deeply scared and worried about the attack. He said he has been having some routine prayer sessions and he also asked me to pray with him in the car, I did pray for him with all of my heart. He thanked me profusely and burst into another heart-rending crying session. I had to console and encourage him, that he should try to draw closer to God this period and he is going to be fine again.

Since the night he told me everything, we've just been checking on each other and he said he's been indoor a lot since then and still can't sleep or stay alone in the dark.
Now to the very ending part of my tale, I asked him to come around my place last night. He came and whilst we were talking, his phone rang and he got out of the car to receive the call. He came back in to the car and again, his phone rang and he had to tell me the girl was the one calling. I became very livid and surprised that he's still in touch with her even after the whole attack episode cos we can't even tell where it came from.

I asked him to show me her name, he succumbed. My people, my boyfriend saved this girl's name and added kissing emojis. Something he never ever does, he is the type that saves every contact with their full name, including his siblings. Save for the nicknames he saved my number and his bro with, I hardly saw nicknames on his contact list talk less of adding emojis. I knew that was the height of it all and asked him how, he said it was the girl that took his phone and saved her number like that. I'm like, what? In a space of how many weeks and she's got that kinda control on you already?

I told him the action any right thinking person would have taken after the attack would be to, atleast keep away from her and even me cos who knows where it all came from. He said he tried cos he hasn't even been getting jobs since this whole thing started but the issue now is, the girl is claiming she's pregnant for him and has been all over him, professing love and all in the space of less than 3weeks. According to him, he has told just a friend apart from me..he hasn't informed any of his siblings and been keeping to himself, trying to figure how he got into all the mess.

I know my story doesn't add up cos he could be lying about everything. But then, this guy is someone I can vouch for his integrity and bluntness, he'd never stoop so low and start telling all these scary lies just to do away with me. It costs him absolutely nothing to just tell me, he's done with us and walk away.

We knew we were completely done with each other last night and I'm just thankful that I didn't get myself into any mess with him, no bad feeling at all. I feel more of pity for him cos this incident could totally change the course of his life, he is a struggling young guy still trying to find his right footing in life. I'm more worried that he hasn't told his brother any of this, (they are pretty close but his bro doesn't stay in the country) more like he is shielding everything and dying in silence.

He betrayed my love for him and I'm moving on fine, albeit, hard. I just don't want a situation whereby the whole thing is beyond mere eyes and he is weak, he is keeping to himself without talking out so his loved ones could take necessary actions.

I'm not even sure I want this to get to the front page, I only want honest and critical views. I'm posting this again in the family section because I seek mature opinions, please.

Lalasticlala, Pocohantas, cococandy, ishilove etc

Long read, what if he was lying? and just wanted to find a way to break up with you?

The part of a lady saving her phone number by herself, he could have changed it after that to his normal way of saving contacts, he didn't.

Just let him be.

The part about the dream and all that
Well it could all be a ruse just to get away from u

Another "Seun must eat" thread.

faithfull18:
Long read, what if he was lying? and just wanted to find a way to break up with you?

The part of a lady saving her phone number by herself, he could have changed it after that to his normal way of saving contacts, he didn't.

Just let him be.

I really apologize for the length...I have thought of the fact that he could lying, I even told him he could be but he broke down and said he has no reason to go that low because of a break up, he said he didn't plan to ruin what we had.
Against every alarm going off in my head, I strongly believe he isn't lying.
As far as I'm concerned, I am done with anything we ever had together

jaeyking:
The part about the dream and all that
Well it could all be a ruse just to get away from u

I know right

DontBullshitMe:
Another "Seun must eat" thread.

Please I didn't make this up and I owe seun nothing, neither does he owe me anything. My thread is as real as the day

Hmmmm.. Similar to my experience, it was a relationship of 3yrs +.. All of a sudden, he decided to be more spiritual than ever.. He claimed he needed to get closer to God.. Lol.. I became a distraction to my one time sweet lover..
Babe, it's all excuses to quit the relationship..
No worry, las las, na person leave us, no be God leave us..

Omo, this your story too long. Dem no teach how to summarize for school

Airnigma:

I really apologize for the length...I have thought of the fact that he could lying, I even told him he could be but he broke down and said he has no reason to go that low because of a break up, he said he didn't plan to ruin what we had.
Against every alarm going off in my head, I strongly believe he isn't lying.
As far as I'm concerned, I am done with anything we ever had together

Better, that's the outcome he expected. He probably knows your deal breakers and doesn't want it to look like he was directly breaking up with you.

He simply created a scenario and played it out. Now, when you tell the story, he won't look like he is the bad guy who broke up with a lady who was with him for four years, lol.

Eleyi gidigan o

The fact still remains that baba na weakling number 1.
2. Thank your stars that the whole thing ended at this stage bcs that type is a confirm cheat
3. I like your narration about him, u never went ahead to castigate and called for his head unlike what most daughters of jezebeel does immediately after breakup.
4. If at all he comes back to u, pls do not accept him back, that type of man is dangerous to the word LOVE, for him to cook up spiritual story to break up means he can equally tell a story that u hv HIV AND AIDS or that u died in motor or plain crash

Apparently he was "intentional" with you and the other lady, four years is a long time but it's obvious he doesn't want you anymore and he came up with that crazy plan.

Get rid of him. Nobody is worth the drama and toxicity.
PS:
The whole story is rooster and bull. He's madly infatuated with the new chick.

You don't want it to get to the front page yet you are tagging the moderators.


Who's your supplier please

Damn! That guy is a genius!

He fed you the lies and you gulped it down like a stawberry drink.

Your guy, now your ex, made up all those scary talks. He wants you to have pity on him despite his misdoings. Move on.

Sorry.

Some guys get A1 for emotional manipulation

When I got to the second paragraph, I knew how it will end.

The truth is the guy knows he has messed up, he just want to carry you along. He will keep telling u he doesn't love her and all that .......

Maybe you will hang around.

Let him go, he doesn't deserve you.

Forget those dreams, forget the tears, he did what he did.

The guy is tired of you and gotten himself a girl he wants to settle down with, you're there feeling sorry for him.

All that spiritual attack baldadash could be made up stories just to discourage you. Not a new thing. Me I've done it before. I told a guy ( now my twins hubby) that my "enemy" ( not me) is possessed just to discourage him. This guy still offered to take me for deliverance. I had to relocate when my fake story wasn't working on him. He's now married to my twin. That was how bad he wanted me..

So, your guy might be making this whole thing up.

As for the pregnancy, he didn't get her pregnant with just one time sex. He would have been sleeping with her for God knows how long.

Just forget about him and move on.

He has played you big time besides 4 years is long enough to get tired of someone.

The good thing about this break up is that you are both done with the stress of having to keep pretending to be in love and want to continue in this fake textbook type relationship especially because many family ties are involved.... If you guys were really in love something as little as this can't break up a four years solid relationship which is not even a long distance one.

The guy was tired of you and had fallen in love with this girl over time, definitely not witthin the past weeks, he had kept the secret for long yet he was scared and worried about how you'd react on hearing it straight, hence the distracting story. It's true he might not be like that but the story reeks of the manipulative effort of the girl, who put him up to it when he told her he doesn't know how to break up with you.

The good thing is you can focus on yourself and build up till you find someone who you can love and would really love you and build a real love relationship not the fake textbook one you previously had. Congrats girl

Why is my mind telling me that your boyfriend is lying

.

Airnigma:
I'm not even sure I want this to get to the front page, I only want honest and critical views. I'm posting this again in the family section because I seek mature opinions, please.

I think you handled the break up well thus far. If you are able to, try to keep busy with growing yourself as an individual and learning where your place is in life.

Please try as much as you can to let him deal with his new burden by himself. I know he told you the fantastical story about seeing a monster and all that but it could have been a hallucinations. A result of all the guilt he most have been trying to suppress at that time all so he could continue bagging the gal in question.

I know it won't be easy but believe there are better men out there for you.

@Airnigma, he is no longer the guy you once knew.
Your commitment to each other was tampered with the moment he slept with that other girl, therefore, can never be the same again.
What is going on with him now is something beyond you, so step aside and allow him deal with the mess he brought upon himself by himself.
Do not let yourself get entangled in something you know nothing about. Ihe I na amaghi, agaghi a ma gi.
You can still be there for him as a friend though.

Eyah, four years is a very long time, but not too long for you to heal up from.

I'm so sorry baby girl.

I also think he's lying though, most pregnancies occur from repeated sexual intercourse. So, maybe he actually wants his girl to get pregnant, he may have decided to stick with the one that got pregnant first. Meaning that he's been playing you all along.

faithfull18:
Long read, what if he was lying? and just wanted to find a way to break up with you?

The part of a lady saving her phone number by herself, he could have changed it after that to his normal way of saving contacts, he didn't.

Just let him be.

Exactly, couldn't even finish reading but I already sensed he fabricated alot in that story..

Your so called ex is a lier........

All these stories from somebody who purposely slept with another girl knowing fully well that he has a girlfriend of 4years somewhere....

That guy us a pathological liar........

the guy might be sincere.

truth is, the devil go after men with potentials, and one weapon the devil use very well against such men is women.
this time, the devil got him.

that guy needs serious deliverance & prayers right now, else, he will go down the drain so quick & bad.

let us turn the table around, if you were the one that fell, would he stand by you?

People get mind sha. People just think that they can mock God. After fornicating you begin to pray to God for deliverance.

Don't tell me: thou shall not judge, his ways are not our ways etc.

This guy is a playboy. What a wasted four years. Mark my words he will come back to attempt to manipulate you. He's aware that you will find it difficult to break away from 4 years bonding.

From your statement I can see signs that you will fall for it. If you love your destiny run far and lick the pains of wasted love years.

anthonyuncle:
the guy might be sincere.

truth is, the devil go after men with potentials, and one weapon the devil use very well against such men is women.
this time, the devil got him.

that guy needs serious deliverance & prayers right now, else, he will go down the drain so quick & bad.

let us turn the table around, if you were the one that fell, would he stand by you?

Shame no dey catch all of una wey dey blame devil for every stupid decision una make?

Jesus Christ no blame devil even 1/100000....th as much as you all do. It almost seems your lives are dedicated to blaming the devil for every stupid thing you lot do - no single sense of responsibility. .