BigBashiru:


there is nothing like "cheating". I made it clear to my wife that im still available to other women and she too is available to other men.... its only "cheating" when you both promise yourselves monogamy....

adeakin:
you cant have the Nigerian type of marriage abroad. The law favours women. There is incentive for her to dump you as government will give her free money and she also gets to tak your house lol. My advice to you only marry a lady you know before not a stranger, or you go cry. You can also try other Africans they are homely and gentle. They are not materialistic like our babes

adeakin:
nobody say everyone bad. But can you date everyone
I have lived in uk and Canada, let me tell you what some of our women do.
1- the ones based abroad have high taste and typically live above their salary, they can rent a house that takes 80% of their salary while men will typically rent the one that takes 35% of salary. They always want holidays and trips, cooking is seen as slavery to many of them. Any man wey marry them just dey marry wahala . You will even take loans to pay for ring, wedding and honeymoon

2. The women take abroad have chances to get free funding for course like nursing and IT. They later become richer or equal to the man . Then start to rub shoulder. Later they will say i dont need a man and divorce you.

3. Some will call police when una fight or quarrel. You as the man will be asked to leave the house temporarily or permanently. Some of the benefits are paid to the women eg child benefits. Some of our 9ja women spend it alone. Some demand you take care of all bills after you will have 200 dols as saving. While she invests her own salary of like 3k to 5k dols a month in Nigeria or her siblings.

Marriage is looking like a scam these days

Kobojunkie:
The law and even society abroad makes a "Nigerian" marriage so many times harder to achieve out here than down there in Nigeria.

The reason why a "Nigerian" marriage works the way it does in Nigeria is because society condones and allows it to thrive as it does down there. Out here, society moves as a pace that all but forces individuals to try to catch up in order to keep up. And so anything that doesn’t fit with the culture of society is quickly put under enormous stress to adapt/evolve or break.

cooooooks:
Don't you discuss these things before tying the knot?

I know many married people in Canada and this is not the case.

The closest bad marriage I know is a guy brought a lady he had known for years, a lady who herself had studied abroad but went back to Nigeria. He started maltreating her after honeymoon. After a while, she got fed up and sent him out. Technically, the neighbours called the police on him when he was shouting at her; and she did not tell them to not remove him. Well after sleeping on diff couches, she told him to come back. Since then they have been living in peace and harmony.

pocohantas:
Oh please,

You Nigerian men whine too much.

Marry the ones there, una no gree.
Marry foreigners, another wahala.
Come back home and marry, wailing.

What exactly is happening in a marriage abroad that doesn’t happen here? Or you are afraid you can’t batter her, cheat and pursue her from the home you both built?

Anything you see Naija men complaining of, just know their wickedness has been checked.

The ones with clear conscience and good character might have their fears, but they don’t go on and on about it like this.

The way you guys complain of Naija women, one would think your relationships with foreigners last for long. Abi how many old Nigerian men have you seen with foreign wives? All you’ll be hearing is, I dated one Kenyan, Spanish, Polish, British, Finnish… Why you no marry am?

Just hope for a good partner. Love, respect, forgive and communicate. Even on Mars, you guys would weather the storm.

Evercurious:



Oga inasmuch as you re accommodating and caring ,pls learn and remember to be tough on some of your stands when dealing with women. The truth is that most women are naturally manipulative and you need to be tough to sail through... All this your attitude of ' I dont like trouble or wahala' wont help ooh. In fact i ve discovered that most people that act and speak the way you do end up receiving all the wahala from others. No one says you shld be a troublemaker but also learn not to take or accommodate trash too as you remain caring

Loreettaa:
Define "misbehave"

When you guys marry white women, you cook, clean, care for kids and still work and pay bills.
But when you take an African woman who has been marginalised all her life abroad and she realises that women are respected over there and demands more, is that "misbehave"?
You want amaka to go abroad and be spoiling her lovely nails cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner 3 times a day, 7 days a week?
Or you want Abisola who's barely getting any dicking from you, to be praying and fasting and not to go outside and look for some, LIKE YOU DO? You think it's like Nigeria where you can shame her into submission?

For most of you abroadians, we already know you prefer to keep a woman in Nigeria where your family can press her neck if need be.
The day chiamaka comes to obodo oyibo will be the death of your fragile ego.

cooooooks:
Madam, which abroadians you dey talk to.

It is well o. This white stuff is just colonized mind and low self esteem.

greenie77:


What is the family of the husband saying in all these?

BigBashiru:


there is nothing like "cheating". I made it clear to my wife that im still available to other women and she too is available to other men.... its only "cheating" when you both promise yourselves monogamy....

Evercurious:


Really? People can be so weird indeed

BigBashiru:


Wierd how? It's about being honest and truthful....

Loreettaa:

I know one abroadian. His name rhymes with "books"

ugodson:
I want to be totally honest here OP and anyone reading this.
My ex wife left me cos I had on and off jobs but my family supports me cos am the man I saw disturbing messages on her phone ,well she was cheating and never apologized for it,I would have traveled when my papers came but u was newly married to here and my mom filed then when I was not married and advices I rather come with my family I had a girl as at that time,didn't know the change of status will take time to process again.

To cut the story short
She left me 4years ago with my 2kids trying to reach her but not picking any of my calls.
My aunt in the USA tells my mom that she has no idea of what God has done for her son (ME) if I have traveled with her my life wouldn't be d same as USA favours women than men.

My papers is Almost through now,but my sister got the option TRAVEL WITHOUT which means I will be traveling in some few months without her (she thinks I can't travel cos her name is there and can't change my status to divorce cos she doesn't want a divorce cos she wants to travel to America Lol.

Now I have a serious relationship she respects me alot but she has no idea I have my mom and siblings are citizens I just decided to keep her in the dark but she shows me love and most of all respect.

Don't know if this one changes. My friends in the US advice me when I come over I should settle for a whitey even though I wouldn't have a problem with papers cos when I get there i 3months I would have a resident permit.

Are Nigerian girls trust worthy? Well my uncle's took theirs wife's to the States and are still living happy with their kids. Maybe is just this generation

Mariangeles:


I never believed a man can say this to his wife...until now that my mum told me about a man who did.

Evercurious:


Honest and truthful inside nonsense? Well it's okay since both of you re on the same page and alike to accept and be in such 'bizarre' conditions in the name of being truthful, honest and of course open mindedness

BigBashiru:


Women are not attracted to men that aren't dominant even though they won't admit it just like you hv denied just now....this explains why women love men that beat them..... it's a confused gender....that's why they say never take advice on relationships from a woman. That friendship is good so long as the dominant component isn't completely taken away.

cooooooks:
The law in Nigeria does not condone this "Nigerian marriage".

The society, sadly, still does and access to the law is limited a d expensive.

BigBashiru:
All the men where dey like my comment...I no talk say make una go begin beat woman in the name of dominance oh! Abeg

BigBashiru:
How can I be stuck with one woman all my life and why should I?? Think about it! When there are asses of different sizes,so many other kissable gals etc with figure 8. Think about it!

jaxxy:


Women who don’t have a mind of their own can easily be influenced when in the wrong environment even if they are not bad themselves. The question is does she have a mind of he own as a respectful gal? Or she hasn’t met the right or rather wrong influence to trigger her terrible side?

U can know this by asking her certain questions and engaging her certain discussions to pick her brain and know her mindset of life and marriage.

Kobojunkie:
I hope you make the same allowance for your wife or wives too since they too ought to be free to freely cheat and not be stuck with the same man all their lives.

Munzy14:

Ihe ahu owukwanu marriage? typical ndu ndi Ebe ahu i base ri...

O wuhu culture anyi...Nwafor anyi mana nwunye ya wu nke ya...Ochohu nwoke ozo ihu pant ya....

BigBashiru:


They are free to "mate" with others... it's not "cheating" it's biology...and mating.

Mariangeles:


That will be unfair and demonically wicked!

It will be better if you don't marry.

Ghostmode2two:
Leave her in Nigeria and have little peace of mind.

Ghostmode2two:

Not wickedness at all. My friend who has lived all his life in the UK took his wife and gave birth to his kids in the UK lost everything he worked for. He is starting life all over again. So I know what I am saying

Jaqenhghar:

I call Bullshit on your stats. That's a lie. I even doubt you have lived in Europe ( at all) for that long. Msot men you talk to agree that Nigerian women are still the better option.

Ghostmode2two:

Not wickedness at all. My friend who has lived all his life in the UK took his wife and gave birth to his kids in the UK lost everything he worked for. He is starting life all over again. So I know what I am saying

Prince001:


Yea u are free to call it whatever you want. Doubt me as long as u can even cos living Europe is not an achievement rather opportunity ain't nuttin special about it.