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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. (50682 Views)
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Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by YoungBruzzy(m): 10:49am On Jan 11, 2022 |
NovesaTillie: Wow I like your smartness to easily decipher another slay queen like yourself Don't tell me you come with those package too |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Omodua(m): 10:49am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Fred166:So sorry. But that's the prize of marrying "Anyhow" lady without good background check. I am sure you would have seen some of these weaknesses if thorough background check was conducted. It's not too late. Report her shortcomings to the parents and they will counsel her on her shortcomings. Not impossible for her to change because it's still a young marriage. Good luck! 1 Like |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Mom007(f): 10:51am On Jan 11, 2022 |
bablon20:The post was made DEC 28, last yr. 1 Like |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by BigJoe19: 10:52am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Slynation:Lol, like we forced them to marry. |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by sgtponzihater1(m): 10:53am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Ready my post about modern marriages being a scam. You have just been scammed and on a long road bro. Prayers can definitely help, apart from that nothing much from this end. All the best on your journey. Over and out |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Hydronium(m): 10:53am On Jan 11, 2022 |
I usually don't mediate these kinds of issues because the information is one-sided. The story will be different when she gives her own side of the story. As a matter of fact, these things should have been ironed out in your courtship phase. I'll however ask you to be - a bit more patient and loving (I mean you just got married this January). Loving doesn't mean buying her all the stuff. Loving means finding out what she wants per time and giving it to her (Do you even know her love language?) - Be more empathetic and less judgmental; the weight of the pregnancy informs many of her present decisions and since its her first, she can't deal properly well with it. - When you have to correct her, correct her firmly, but in love. I'm sure you married her because you love her, but what exactly is love to you? - A time should come (and soon) when you both will have to sit down and discuss these issues I could go on and on but the duties of a husband are quite heavy. When the Bible says love your wife, even as Christ loved the Church, it's not a joke ... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by kansoboy: 10:54am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Mom007: U bhad!!!! Lol 1 Like |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Jakumo(m): 10:54am On Jan 11, 2022 |
NovesaTillie: Dis ya profile pinshure get as e be o. If you mess for dat position when you carry ya big yansh up so, di breeze go fiti carry pesin fall down. 1 Like |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by virginchaser(m): 10:55am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Bros work on her. Wake her up dead in the night and explain what you want from her. Also pray with her. She may possibly reason with you and change. It is always a gradual process. My former landlord's wife refused to follow her husband to village for new year celebration because DSTV network in the village couldn't pick up ZeeWorld. 2 Likes |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by BePrepared: 10:55am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Landmack: True Marriage is not outward beauty stuff |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Berankis: 10:55am On Jan 11, 2022 |
NovesaTillie:This one na badg girl |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Ishitinyourlife: 10:55am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Send the bitch parking |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by DAVE5(m): 10:56am On Jan 11, 2022 |
NovesaTillie: It’s sad that a lot of Nigerian men are in this “predicament” you just opened our eyes to |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by DAVE5(m): 10:56am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Hmmnn |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Slynation(m): 10:56am On Jan 11, 2022 |
BigJoe19:The matter tire me o... |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by MPESA(m): 10:58am On Jan 11, 2022 |
frozen70: God bless you abundantly,if he like make take this your advice if no like make him leave am . |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Ten06(m): 10:59am On Jan 11, 2022 |
If it is those things she came to do in marriage, why did she marry? She would have remain in her father's house and continued doing nails and eye lashes |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Winneygirl(f): 10:59am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Fred166: Employ a housekeeper. The housekeeper can come around 3 times a week to do general cleaning and laundry. Please don't get a leave-in maid. Otherwise, the laziness will be x100, plus she might end up maltreating the person. She's pregnant. Not much you can do about everything else. Let her eat her sugarcane and egusi soup. Your pikin na pako pikin for inside belle. |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Visasolution048: 10:59am On Jan 11, 2022 |
teegurl2: Being a fine girl and being a slay queen are two different things... In short, every woman on earth is a fine girl...Or was once a fine girl... The truth is aside been a fine girl, there are other traits real men tryna see in women to qualify them as wife Material. But men of these days, just like the op neglect those traits for big yansh and breast...Guys these days can marry a girl for several stupid reasons.. Op married his wife for her physical appearance alone because he said he told his wife that if she loses shape, he isn't gonna look at her side anymore. In the reality of marriage, beauty is useless. ... Unlike yourself that is beautiful with home training. The OPs wife lags Home training..She doesn't fall into the place of being a wife yet... 2 Likes |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Newboss(m): 11:00am On Jan 11, 2022 |
That's a typical Nigerian young woman. She's not lazy. That's just how they're. 3 Likes |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by WHITELIGHTER: 11:00am On Jan 11, 2022 |
This is what happens when u start ur relationship with money and you go after big yansh and breast with perfect figure 8.... Brother carry ur cross gallantly 2 Likes |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Mom007(f): 11:00am On Jan 11, 2022 |
ALLNIGERIANSMAD:Biggest mistake my bro/sister. The introduction of a baby into an already strained home situation increases the strain x3! You think raising a baby is child's play? If she cannot manage her home where baby has not entered, when the baby comes, it will be a disaster! If she is going to shop now at 10am, when baby comes, she will not even go at all at all. The op should just gree in his heart that he married a slay mama and manage it from there. You can't turn a donkey into a racing horse. He should forget about starting business or whatever for her and just hustle hard knowing he is the sole provider in this family. He should reduce the liberties he gives her and make sure she does her bit at home. How can a man who went to work morning to evening come back and start cooking food to eat in the name of she is pregnant? Is pregnancy a terminal illness? I worked through my pregnancies and it helped make childbirth easy. This one is just chronically lazy and drastic measures need to be taken. 4 Likes |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by usagee36: 11:02am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Fatima NovesaTillie: |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by goodheart01: 11:02am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Na the food combo sey make me laugh. Coconut water and bread... Shawarma and peppersoup with sugar cane.... Lol 1 Like |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Ellexy: 11:03am On Jan 11, 2022 |
virginchaser:Bro tell me you're joking 3 Likes
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Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by Yoighaman(m): 11:03am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Fred166: It's best to always resolve issues right from their roots. The problem in the home is that Zeeworld, I don't know how you can resolve it, but do so and you'd see every other thing fall into good places. |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by gabicon: 11:03am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Fred166: Marriage is not a walk in the park, every marriage is like a big organization/company where there are several systems and departments that govern the conduct and running of the organization. The issue you have is that you are running a family without a family system, and these systems should have been agreed upon before marriage or some form of compromise needs to be made. Your family does not have a vision and core values, every party needs to know where the family is going alongside acceptable and unacceptable behavior, your wife is displaying unacceptable behavior to you but she doesn't know because no prior standards were set, she never agreed to any standards. Your family needs a financial system, child training system, investment system, work-life system, sex system, health system, chores system, etc. For things to work between two partners, there needs to be some form of synergy because both parties come into the partnership with a different ideology, it's more like two people going in opposite directions but are chained together in the waist. When you have a financial system, it is clear where the family finance is going, there is transparency and no talk about stingy, etc. when you have a chores system who does what is clearly established and if both parties refuse to do a task, a third party called a help is introduced. when a work system is in place, there is a premium for value and improving the family's finances so nobody does a 5hrs of work a day. The problem is that there are no systems in the home, its a little difficult to initiate systems when a partnership has been formed, however, it's better late than never. I will advise that you both go see a counselor who can help you develop family systems and do it quickly before the arrival of the baby because a third partner changes the dynamics of the game. I wish you success in your family. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by TheGift: 11:04am On Jan 11, 2022 |
There are a couple of issues here, There is your wives natural behavior , which I’m surprised you didn’t notice before now. Then there is your Wives behavior due to Her pregnancy. Then there is how you are reacting to both. As per the latter, it’s normal for Women to exhibit such irrational behaviors like cravings, when they are pregnant. Just be ready for anything and see it as your own contribution to carrying the baby. Still it is no excuse for Her not taking care of Her home and business but spending all Her time on Zeeworld. However, how you are reacting to it doesn’t seem to be working. You need to be gentle but firm. Ask Her to choose between keeping the house clean or getting a maid. Because a dirty house is not good for both of you and your child. Or ask politely to change the channel don’t just snatch the remote and change the channel. If She still proves stubborn go out and watch the match. Next time, when it’s you that paid for the DSTV , let Her know it is only reasonable that you watch it for a few hours in the weekend when she has been watching it all week. Thank Her for understanding, and change the channel. If She doesn’t want to cook. No problem. Get a cook or get a maid who can cook or eat out if cooking is too much trouble. If you have spoken to Her about Her eating and putting on weight and she isn’t listening , then try something else, leave Her alone. Whatever you do , don’t give room for resentment. Especially now that She is pregnant. Let Her give birth first, She’s the one that will be begging for a maid. 1 Like |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by nyzeo(m): 11:05am On Jan 11, 2022 |
You are already in trouble.. You went for wht you cannot handle.... Na house boy you go turn Las lass.. |
Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by letitrainnow(m): 11:05am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Hmmmmm, nawaooo |
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