There's no getting around it: Breakups are terrible, even if they're handled with compassion. They can shake you to your very foundations, causing you to question your confidence AND your faith in love itself. If you've been broken up with, you're grappling with the very real pain of rejection on top of mourning a lost love. When you're the one who chose to end things, there's often guilt swirled into your sadness. Even in the most amicable, mutual situations, a split is an ending—and in a culture that emphasizes "forever" as a relationship goal, we're made to feel like an ending is a failure.

In reality, breakups are often the shattering preamble to a new-and-improved life (one that can eventually include a relationship with someone you're more compatible with). But in those first few brutal days and weeks, you've got every right to feel inconsolable. In time, though, you can move onward and upward. Here's a few ways to start feeling better fast.

Allow yourself time to grieve.
No matter the circumstances of your split, your feelings are valid and processing them is a journey in itself.


Consider deleting your ex's number—for now, anyway.
Maybe the two of you said that you'd stay friends. A post-breakup friendship may well happen in time, but "time" is the key word here. Very few exes make a seamless transition into friendship immediately (and if you think you've done it, see what happens when one of you starts dating someone new).


Protect your heart with a social media purge.
Whether you're scrolling through old photos of happier times or hitting refresh on your ex's profile to analyze every update, Facebook and Instagram can be pure poison for the brokenhearted.

Lose yourself in a good book.
Is there a better (and more affordable) form of escapism than an absorbing read? Put one in your tote and head to the park or a coffee shop—it'll get you out of the house, and you never know who you'll strike up a conversation with about the page-turner in your hands. You can message me to get a copy on that.. 08164977950

Make a breakup playlist.
Music has a powerful effect on mood, which is why the breakup mix is a key part of your post-parting toolkit. When you find yourself adrift in a churning sea of emotion while driving to work or rage-cleaning your apartment, let the breakup playlist be your constant.


Finally, when you're ready, forgive.
"Forgive yourself for mistakes you made in the relationship, and forgive the other person," Brigham says. "We don't forgive for the other person, we forgive for ourselves."

Letting go of the bitterness will help you find that friendship with an ex eventually, if you both want it. More importantly, it will help you move forward..