jmoore:
We have monetized marriage in this country.

For the first time I went for introduction. Not my own introduction. The father of the fiancee said 26,000 naira was the price to collect the marriage list. I thought the fiancé will give anything he likes to collect the marriage list.


The fiancée is from Abia.

Acidosis:
You people still do introduction, where you tag along your entire family, friends, caterer, and photographers?

Men complain about costly and flamboyant weddings only online. In real life, many of these guys are toothless and too weak to effect any real change.

You guys should go and pay the money and quit complaining!

jmoore:


I don't understand your point. Would you charge your daughter's fiancé 26,000 naira or more before you give him the marriage list?

Acidosis:


My point is that they charged your friend because he agreed to a "big" introduction.

And no, I won't charge my daughter's fiance anything. We don't have such traditions and even if there were trends like that, I would have them scrapped.

There are various stages of marrying traditionally in Igboland.

The first stage is IKU AKA N’UZO. Which is more like the introduction or enquiry stage.


STAGE 2, you meet the Umuanna. They will question you, ask your state and family. They need this information to do due diligence before you come again.

The money for the list is paid to the secretary, who is most times a WOMAN. Sometimes they collect okporoko, malt, beer, anyara and ose oji in addition to this. According to them, they use these things to entertain themselves in the meeting where they would tell the rest that you came and would be back.

1 & 2 are merged in modern times as most people are in town and working. No one has time to make various trips to the village or wherever. The list can be given to you anytime in 1 or 2.

STAGE 3, BRIDE PRICE PAYMENT AND IGBA NKWU. I put them together because they are also merged in modern times.

Marrying in some parts of Igbo land is capital intensive. That is why our men wait till they are 45, then they start looking for one 200L girl to marry.

One greatest misconception on IGBO MARRIAGE is that the bulk of the money goes to the girl’s family. This is a LIE.

There are five major recipients of a list.
1- Umuada
2- Umunna
3- Youths
4- Father
5- Mother

There is no part of the list that is dedicated to the woman who is expected to SUBMIT and take bullshit because you “BOUGHT” her.

Igbos are very communal people. Everyone owns a child. I have too many uncles I have to call and keep up with because I don’t know when I will need them. Okay, I know situations I would need them . It was hard at first, but I have gotten used to it.

Most enlightened and understanding families would waive the father and mother part because that is the only part they can EASILY control. Not like they can’t do stronghead and fight, but there is this feeling of, you have been taking your share from other son in-laws, now you no want make your own drop something. Lol. Which face you go use dey go meeting?

So in situations where the guy can actually afford it, they choose not to interfere. Let him just settle the outsiders and the family can sort themselves out.

Last last, anaghi alucha nwanyi alucha. EVERYTHING is negotiable. Do the one you can do and leave the rest.

Bride price wasn’t meant to be a poverty alleviation program. Bride price is not selling the bride. Bride price doesn’t mean any man should turn his wife to slave. Bride price is symbolic. It tests the SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY of a man. It signifies an appreciation of the job done to raise the woman you deemed fit to make an addition to yours. Which is why till date, Igbo men have a sense of responsibility to their family that can’t be unrivalled by any other tribe on the average.

Some families/states in SE have turned it to something else and even pride in how expensive their women are. I won’t say anything. After all the decision was taken by the LOGICAL GENDER. They can fix it when they want to.

jmoore:
We have monetized marriage in this country.

For the first time I went for introduction. Not my own introduction. The father of the fiancee said 26,000 naira was the price to collect the marriage list. I thought the fiancé will give anything he likes to collect the marriage list.

The fiancée is from Abia.

Zee0007:
If you do me anyhow, I give your daughter belle. By force you will attend to my needs. No time. They just want to kill men with bring this and that ontop woman wey go still misbehave.

Zee0007:
If you do me anyhow, I give your daughter belle. By force you will attend to my needs. No time. They just want to kill men with bring this and that ontop woman wey go still misbehave.

Acidosis:
You people still do introduction, where you tag along your entire family, friends, caterer, and photographers?

Men complain about costly and flamboyant weddings only online. In real life, many of these guys are toothless and too weak to effect any real change.

You guys should go and pay the money and quit complaining!

ImaIma1:


I'm talking about their introductions. They even do "and co" native...agbada and...Almost nothing different between a introduction and traditional marriage.

And no need to take offence. I'm only saying what I know because I have Yoruba family.

jmoore:
We have monetized marriage in this country.

For the first time I went for introduction. Not my own introduction. The father of the fiancee said 26,000 naira was the price to collect the marriage list. I thought the fiancé will give anything he likes to collect the marriage list.
The fiancée is from Abia.

ImaIma1:


I'm talking about their introductions. They even do "and co" native...agbada and...Almost nothing different between a introduction and traditional marriage.

And no need to take offence. I'm only saying what I know because I have Yoruba family.

Kobojunkie:
Administrative cost of efforts that go into compiling the list naw..... you go pay